☠️
25
Days survived
24
Zombies killed
0/7
Survivors
27
🗺️ Km traveled
7
👑 Decisions
3
🩺 Rescues
15
🍳 Meals cooked
2
🪤 Traps built
15
🎯 Zombies lured
Survival Journal
24 events
1
📖
Day 1: The alert came at 6:02 AM. Kamala Harris was the first to realize this wasn't a drill. In less than an hour, Mikie Sherrill and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez had barricaded the entrances. Nancy Pelosi was already treating the first injuries. Darth Vader found enough food to feed everyone for three days. Abigail Spanberger rigged an alarm system with pots and fishing line. As for Hillary Clinton... Hillary Clinton just said "I know a shortcut." The team was formed.
1
🌍
Day 1: Hillary Clinton recovers an intact drone from a rooftop. Aerial view, strategic advantage.
+8
1
⚡
Failure - Darth Vader flubs their final line and shouts 'CUT!' facing a hungry horde
-2
1
🎂
Darth Vader is 80 years old and struggles to keep up with the group during chases.
-5
1
🎂
Nancy Pelosi, 86 years old, has survived much worse. But physically, it's very hard.
-8
1
📌
📍 SoHo boutique. Darth Vader finds designer clothes. "At least I'll die fashionable."
0
2
💀
Nancy Pelosi dies mid-speech at the podium. The mic still echoes 'My fellow survivors...' as zombies storm the town hall.
2
💀
Nancy Pelosi
has died
3
🌍
Day 3: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez discovers the zombie that's been lurking for 3 days fell into a pit. Nature works in mysterious ways.
+4
3
⚡
Success - Kamala Harris convinces a group of survivors to sign an alliance contract in exchange for post-apocalyptic legal protection
+3
4
💀
Poetic death - Darth Vader dies reciting Hamlet, zombies applaud before devouring them
4
💀
Darth Vader
has died
8
🌍
Day 8: Abigail Spanberger attempts a motivational speech that makes three survivors cry. Not from joy, from despair.
-4
9
⚡
Abigail Spanberger sets up an intel network between camps using carrier pigeons and bored teenagers. Surprisingly effective.
0
10
💀
Hillary Clinton takes shelter under a tree during the storm. Lightning didn't read the survival manual either.
10
💀
Hillary Clinton
has died
11
🌍
Day 11: Abigail Spanberger throws a smoke grenade instead of an offensive grenade. The zombie is confused, but alive.
-5
13
⚡
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez distributes rations fairly (with a perfectly organized Excel spreadsheet)
0
14
💀
Abigail Spanberger dies undercover in an enemy camp when their identity is blown. Their final coded message arrives 3 hours too late.
14
💀
Abigail Spanberger
has died
16
🌍
Day 16: Water supplies are running low. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez must organize an expedition to the nearest supermarket.
+4
16
⚡
Unusual - Kamala Harris establishes a law firm in a bunker and charges €400/h for post-apocalyptic legal consultations
+3
18
💀
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez negotiates with other survivor groups (and miraculously avoids civil war)
18
💀
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
has died
19
🌍
Day 19: Mikie Sherrill discovers an uncontaminated mountain spring. Drinking water, the new oil.
+11
19
⚡
Failure - Kamala Harris fails their plea before a zombie and gets bitten while trying to cite article 3 of human rights
+3
20
💀
Mikie Sherrill dies crashing after running out of fuel on a rescue mission. Every drop was rationed to the last.
20
💀
Mikie Sherrill
has died
22
🌍
Day 22: Kamala Harris finds a working solar charger. Technology reclaims its rights.
+7
23
🌍
Day 22: Kamala Harris mistakes a zombie for a sleeping survivor and offers it coffee. Awkward moment.
-3
25
💀
Poetic death - Kamala Harris dies trying to serve a subpoena to a zombie horde for 'disturbing the peace'
25
💀
Kamala Harris
has died
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