My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Houston Blast-Off | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | My Team | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Holy shit, the arena is erupting and the game hasn't even started. There are 20,000 absolute maniacs on their feet chanting the name of a franchise with more scars than a retired boxer. Seasons of domination, seasons of total demolition, insane 3 AM trades, Draft picks that smelled like either genius or pure madness, nobody knew at the time, and honestly sometimes we still don't. But tonight, all of that is behind us. Tonight is the present, and the present reeks of adrenaline and revenge. The team with no name, baby! Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. Batman. Just the name sends chills through the building. The man is massive, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face. But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Hulk. The man is a scientist. A freaking scientist. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with their lab notebook and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered. The budget? What budget? We're so far below the salary floor you could limbo under it blindfolded. The team accountant is the owner's cousin running Excel 2003 with no updates since the Bush administration. The jerseys are hand-washed by the intern, road trips are carpooled, and the last free agent who visited the facilities turned around the second he saw the locker room. But you know what? Character is forged in the struggle. And this team's got character coming out of its damn ears.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
81-126 (L)
Hulk wins the opening tip! Tipping off with scientist energy!
Hulk, this franchise cornerstone, pulls the trigger off the pick and roll but no luck!
Turnover by Hulk! Discoverring the hidden truth requires less coordination, clearly!
This surprise package Thanos bites on the fake! Beaten from the right corner!
Donald Trump, this generational talent, refuses to high-five! Ego the size of Texas hurting the chemistry!
Halftime! Michael Jackson checks his stats on the board and winces. Did you know? Michael Jackson tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Michael Jackson, this franchise cornerstone, comes up empty! A hook shot off target from the left corner!
Thanos short-arms the shot from fatigue! This player nobody saw coming has nothing left!
Hulk with the careless pass! Discoverring the hidden truth with more care, please!
This dark horse Thanos gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Michael Jackson leaves the palace of hoops quietly! Quiet as a philanthropist after the game setback!
Michael Jackson watches the crowd file out in silence. Donald Trump prefers not to look. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
81-109 (L)
Donald Trump checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Batman misfires again! Having the game-shaped night!
Michael Jackson with a wild pass that sails out! This absolute legend giving it away!
Michael Jackson beaten to the spot! Slower than a philanthropist on a Monday morning!
Michael Jackson scores a step-back three! Their bare hands by day, buckets by night!
Back in the locker room, Michael Jackson sits down and stares at the ceiling. Intel: Michael Jackson once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
This undisputed superstar Hulk stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Batman misfires from under the basket! Their bare hands calibration needed!
Michael Jackson uses the hesitation dribble! Unreal swagger creating separation!
Thanos is cramping up! This who-is-this-guy player trying to shake it off! Tendency to force bad shots!
Hulk reflects on what could have been. Heavy feet the difference tonight.
Thanos leaves the court at a jog. Batman stays there, planted at center court, motionless. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
96-107 (L)
This surprise package Thanos comes out aggressive! Opens with a pull-up jumper from downtown!
Hulk misses at with seconds left on the clock! A scientist dropping the hidden truth at the worst time!
Donald Trump commits the live-ball turnover! Their loaded checkbook would be ashamed!
Batman gets back-doored! Didn't see it, like not seeing the game behind their bare hands!
Batman banks a layup off the glass! Geometry learned from the superhero life!
Break! Hulk grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Word is Hulk sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
Donald Trump gets a technical for complaining! Occasional mental lapses on full display!
Michael Jackson sends it wide! Their bare hands wouldn't forgive that either!
Michael Jackson sets the screen at the perfect angle! This once-in-a-lifetime player cerebral play!
Michael Jackson, this global icon, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
Batman walks off in defeat! Even a superhero's skills couldn't save tonight!
Hulk closes his eyes walking out. Michael Jackson keeps his wide open, fixed, empty. Evening confession: I'm wearing Hulk's jersey under my shirt. For morale. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
104-117 (L)
Hulk rises up into position! This basketball god not wasting any time!
This franchise cornerstone Donald Trump puts up a step-back three but it won't fall! Off night!
Hulk dribbles it off their foot! Their lab notebook would never betray a scientist like that!
This living legend Michael Jackson caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Michael Jackson with a bucket off the pick! Using screens better than most pros!
Back in the locker room, Hulk sits down and stares at the ceiling. Physio's confession: Hulk purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
Thanos picks up the second technical! This total unknown ejected! Tendency to rush!
Hulk can't convert the open shot! Discoverring the hidden truth is way easier!
Hulk drives to the right spot! A gym-rat work ethic off-ball movement!
Hulk jogs instead of sprints! Conserving energy for discoverring the hidden truth tomorrow!
Michael Jackson walks the tunnel in silence! Done for the night, back to philanthropist life tomorrow!
Michael Jackson has bags under his eyes that weren't there before the game. Thanos has aged ten years in forty minutes. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Michael Jackson's name. Forgive me. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
98-117 (L)
Michael Jackson explodes onto the floor! The crowd roars for this hall-of-fame lock!
Donald Trump misses! Even a film producer can't fix that shot!
Hulk charges right into the defender! Turnover! Tendency to force bad shots when controlling pace!
Hulk can't contain the drive! Discoverring the hidden truth is more containable!
Donald Trump scores with their loaded checkbook, no, with their hands! But the precision is the same!
The locker room fills up. Thanos has already eaten three oranges. Anecdote of the day: Thanos forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Batman drops the head after another miss! Tendency to force bad shots sapping the confidence!
Batman air-mails a euro-step in transition! Way off for this franchise cornerstone!
Hulk finds the angle! The angle scientist uses for the hidden truth!
Batman wipes sweat with the captain armband! Drenched, the superhero has been putting in work!
Donald Trump shakes hands through the pain! A film producer who respects their loaded checkbook and the game!
Thanos lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Donald Trump holds his in. Did you know that Donald Trump practices philanthropist on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
106-107 (L)
Thanos, this solid build, sets the tone immediately! Unreal swagger from the jump!
Batman scores off the inbound! That's the preparation of a superhero right there!
Michael Jackson bites on the fake! Fooled like a philanthropist by counterfeit the game!
An off-balance shot from Michael Jackson goes in and out! Heartbreaking from the right corner!
Donald Trump fights through fatigue! That film producer toughness is for real!
The players leave the court. Thanos clings to the tunnel railing. Locker room anecdote: Thanos talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Thanos misses in the clutch! A bank shot off the mark in the second quarter!
Michael Jackson kicks the air! The frustration of a philanthropist who knows they can do better!
This all-time great Hulk is the heartbeat of this team! A play that goes down in history leadership!
Donald Trump gets stripped on the final possession! Stripped of the ball like a film producer stripped of their loaded checkbook!
Donald Trump, this do-it-all player, hangs the head. Tough loss despite a gym-rat work ethic effort.
Thanos pushes away the reporter's microphone with a gesture. Michael Jackson takes the interview and says 'not tonight'. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
97-120 (L)
Batman huddles with the team! Huddling up, the superhero strategizes!
Michael Jackson misses the free throw! Competing the game under pressure is easier!
Thanos dunks the Wilson right to the defense! Costly mistake by this surprise package!
Donald Trump gets posterized! A film producer framed by their loaded checkbook in the worst way!
Michael Jackson knocks down a catch-and-shoot triple at half court! Ice in the veins!
The players disappear. Hulk has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. I've been told Hulk once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Hulk vents at their teammates! The scientist who vents about the hidden truth!
Hulk penetrates but overcooks it! Limited stamina showing up again!
Thanos, this diamond in the rough, orchestrates the delay game! Night-in night-out consistency in action!
Batman drags their feet! Heavy as their bare hands at the end of a shift!
Hulk vows to come back stronger! Stronger than their lab notebook reinforced with the hidden truth!
Hulk pushes away the reporter's microphone with a gesture. Thanos takes the interview and says 'not tonight'. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. Thanks for watching this game. And now: 'Deal or No Deal: Office Fridge Edition.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
75-119 (L)
This raw talent Thanos comes out firing! A reverse layup in the first minute!
Michael Jackson, this undersized dog, bobbles the leather and the chance evaporates from way beyond the arc!
This raw talent Thanos dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Michael Jackson gets blown by! Even a philanthropist couldn't stop that!
Michael Jackson slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a philanthropist hits the workbench!
Halftime. Hulk is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Little secret: Hulk listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
This potential GOAT Michael Jackson misses the mark! A devastating dunk goes begging at half court!
Thanos is gassed! This rising star bent over at half court! Limited stamina catching up!
Michael Jackson loses the rock! A philanthropist would never be this careless!
Thanos, this surprise package, with the frustrated foul! Ego the size of Texas in tough moments!
This newcomer Thanos tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Batman refuses the coach's embrace. Thanos accepts it but his body is stiff. I learned tonight that Batman used to be a philanthropist. That explains the unique running style. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
83-117 (L)
Thanos, this rising star, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Hulk clanks it off the rim! That sounded like their lab notebook hitting the hidden truth!
Batman throws it away! A pass worse than a superhero tossing the game!
Donald Trump gives up the back door! Injury-prone body when overplaying!
Batman mouths off and picks up a T! Injury-prone body taking over!
Well-deserved break. Michael Jackson looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Confession: Michael Jackson tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Batman, this basketball god, fumbles the finish at the buzzer! Back to the drawing board!
Donald Trump is out on their feet! Running on fumes and pure film producer stubbornness!
This guy with rings on every finger Batman with turnover number points! Hot head is piling up!
Donald Trump tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the film producer will bounce back!
This certified GOAT candidate Batman congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this certified GOAT candidate.
Thanos bites his lip, fists clenched. Batman shakes his head slowly, in disbelief. Behind the scenes, I learned Batman was also a philanthropist in a past life. You can feel it in the game. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
87-122 (L)
Michael Jackson lands the first alley-oop! First blood! The philanthropist strikes first!
Thanos rushes an alley-oop on the low block! Hot head creeping in!
Hulk with the backcourt violation! A scientist going backwards with the hidden truth!
Michael Jackson fouls trying to recover! Desperate as a philanthropist chasing the game!
Donald Trump walks away muttering! Muttering about the risky picture under their breath!
Cut! Halftime. Thanos's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Juicy anecdote: Thanos was caught dancing the Macarena in the showers. Alone. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
Michael Jackson fires and misses from downtown. Should have stuck with the game!
Michael Jackson grimaces through the effort! The grimace of a philanthropist finishing the game!
Stolen from Donald Trump! A film producer who let it slip through their fingers!
Donald Trump buries their face! Hidden from view, the film producer can't watch!
Thanos, this tweener, trudges off the hardwood. Lessons to take from this one.
Batman takes a sip of water and spits it right back out. Donald Trump doesn't drink. Throat too tight. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
96-107 (L)
Michael Jackson comes out hot! Heated up and ready, the philanthropist means business!
Michael Jackson shoots an air ball in a crowd fully behind them! A philanthropist lost in the noise!
Hulk forces the pass! Forcing their lab notebook where it doesn't fit!
Batman overcommits and gets beat! Ego the size of Texas when reading the play!
The crowd erupts as Hulk nails an and-one! A scientist on fire at the floor!
Break! Hulk heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. Little scoop: Hulk logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Batman is visibly upset! Upset as a superhero when the game goes sideways!
Thanos dishes the orange into the front rim! That's frustrating for this unknown gem!
Donald Trump exploits the mismatch! Finding weakness with their loaded checkbook acumen!
Thanos bends over during the dead ball! This unknown gem gathering what's left!
Batman fought but fell short! Just out of reach, the superhero gave everything!
Thanos closes his eyes walking out. Michael Jackson keeps his wide open, fixed, empty. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
88-127 (L)
Thanos takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Michael Jackson can't finish! The philanthropist who finishes the game can't finish the play!
Donald Trump loses possession! The risky picture never leaves a film producer's hands like that!
Thanos gets crossed over! This diamond in the rough left frozen from way beyond the arc!
Hulk throws their hands up! Like a scientist when their lab notebook breaks!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Thanos asks for an ice pack. Did you know Thanos knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Cleveland Twin-Towers's colors. By accident, obviously. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
This dude out of nowhere Thanos throws up a prayer at the top of the key! Not answered!
Hulk tanks the play from tiredness! Tanked like a scientist's energy for the hidden truth!
Hulk, this swiss-army-knife type, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted at the buzzer!
Donald Trump, this undisputed superstar, barks at the teammate! Tendency to force bad shots taking over!
This first-ballot legend Batman shakes hands and moves on. In the end, limited stamina proved costly.
Michael Jackson sits on the bench, staring into nothing. Donald Trump has his head in his hands. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
77-122 (L)
Thanos dishes with energy from the opening whistle! This hungry young player locked in!
Thanos forces a reverse layup along the baseline! This who-is-this-guy player trying too hard!
This guy with rings on every finger Donald Trump commits the 5-second violation! Clock management hot head!
This absolute legend Hulk can't recover! Scored on driving to the hoop! Injury-prone body!
Hulk glares at the pill! Like it personally betrayed this scientist!
Time to breathe. Thanos has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Fun fact: Thanos got rejected at a casting for a deodorant commercial. The irony. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Donald Trump, this all-around player, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this hall-of-fame lock!
Hulk gets the cramp timeout! Cramping from discoverring the hidden truth and hooping!
Intercepted! Hulk's pass snatched right out of the air! A scientist would never be that careless!
Donald Trump shakes their head! A film producer who can't believe that just happened!
Thanos fades away to the tunnel in disappointment. This diamond in the rough will learn from this.
Thanos bites the inside of his cheek. Michael Jackson pinches the bridge of his nose. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
79-112 (L)
Batman sets the tone early! The superhero came to play tonight!
Michael Jackson heaves and misses! Should have heaved the game instead!
Hulk coughs it up! A scientist's grip doesn't work on the damn ball!
This player nobody saw coming Thanos commits the and-one foul! Hot head in positioning!
Donald Trump looks to the heavens! A film producer praying for their loaded checkbook to work!
The players head to the locker room. Donald Trump is sweating like a racehorse. Staff confession: Donald Trump is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Hulk misfires from downtown! Even this basketball god has off nights!
Thanos explodes a step slower than usual! Defense that's basically a suggestion in the tank!
Thanos with the lazy pass! Injury-prone body leading to easy points!
Batman blows past the towel! This generational talent showing shaky emotions under pressure!
Batman refuses to make excuses! A superhero owns the game failures too!
Michael Jackson unclasps his chain and squeezes it in his fist. Thanos runs a hand down his face. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
95-122 (L)
And we're underway! Hulk touches the Spalding first! This undisputed superstar looks eager!
This first-ballot legend Donald Trump shanks a half-court heave from the right corner! That's uncharacteristic!
This player nobody saw coming Thanos loses concentration and the Wilson with it!
Thanos gets caught flat-footed! This raw talent beaten to the spot!
A fadeaway jumper from Hulk! That's a killer instinct at the highest level!
The players head in. Donald Trump slips on the wet tunnel floor. Rumor has it Donald Trump has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
Batman, this tweener, pounds the scorer's table! Shaky emotions under pressure on full display!
Thanos dishes the ball right into the defender's hands! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Batman uses a dominant inside game brilliantly! Strategy from competing the game!
Donald Trump needs oxygen! More winded than a film producer after overtime!
Donald Trump looks at the scoreboard one last time! Numbers don't lie for a film producer!
Michael Jackson and Donald Trump share a single look. Just one. It contains all the disappointment in the world. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Batman.
Season Journal
Holy shit, the arena is erupting and the game hasn't even started. There are 20,000 absolute maniacs on their feet chanting the name of a franchise with more scars than a retired boxer. Seasons of domination, seasons of total demolition, insane 3 AM trades, Draft picks that smelled like either genius or pure madness, nobody knew at the time, and honestly sometimes we still don't. But tonight, all of that is behind us. Tonight is the present, and the present reeks of adrenaline and revenge. The team with no name, baby!
Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. Batman. Just the name sends chills through the building. The man is massive, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face.
But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it.
And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Hulk. The man is a scientist. A freaking scientist. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with their lab notebook and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered.
The budget? What budget? We're so far below the salary floor you could limbo under it blindfolded. The team accountant is the owner's cousin running Excel 2003 with no updates since the Bush administration. The jerseys are hand-washed by the intern, road trips are carpooled, and the last free agent who visited the facilities turned around the second he saw the locker room. But you know what? Character is forged in the struggle. And this team's got character coming out of its damn ears.
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Batman.
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