op — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | op | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Houston Blast-Off | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 12 | Miami Heart-Attack | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 16 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 3 | 12 | 6 |
Pre-season
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. Ladies and gentlemen... Op! If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Wally West. The man is massive, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball. You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance. And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Superman. The man is a superhero. A freaking superhero. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with bare hands and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered. The budget? Look, I've seen GoFundMe campaigns with more money. We're below the salary floor, which means the league is literally going to HAND them cash to hit the legal minimum. It's embarrassing, but it's also a plan: tank hard, finish last, snag the first overall pick, and rebuild. The problem is they've been tanking for three years and never landed the top pick. Bad luck has a name, and it's this damn franchise.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
101-112 (L)
This who-is-this-guy player All Might opens the scoring! A devastating dunk! Early advantage!
Superman misses at the buzzer! A superhero who missed the deadline!
The Iron Giant, this combo guard, gets stripped at half court! Shaky emotions under pressure exposed!
Superman gets blown by! Even a superhero couldn't stop that!
Superman scores an off-balance shot! Their bare hands by day, buckets by night!
Break! Superman has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Fun fact: Superman got rejected at a casting for a deodorant commercial. The irony. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Wally West slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a superhero hits the workbench!
The Iron Giant, this player nobody saw coming, sends the orange wide! The touch is off tonight!
All Might counters the press! Problem solved, superhero style!
The Iron Giant grabs the shorts! This potential breakout star is running on fumes!
This who-is-this-guy player The Iron Giant shakes hands and moves on. In the end, lack of consistency proved costly.
All Might lets out a nervous laugh that sends chills down your spine. Superman decides not to comment. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
120-87 (W)
Spider-Man, this low-to-the-ground speedster, takes the court! The cathedral silence is electric!
Superman with the tough buzzer beater through contact! This absolute legend won't be denied!
This newcomer Wally West with the one-handed bullet pass! Right on the money!
Superman, this smooth operator, elevates for a monster thunderous slam!
All Might switches seamlessly! Versatile as a superhero switching between their bare hands and the game!
Break. Superman collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. I've been told Superman always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
The Iron Giant buries a finger roll in the paint! This player nobody saw coming is on fire tonight!
This raw talent The Iron Giant takes a bow! A salute to the fans! This was clinical!
This rising star Wally West celebrates too early! A bucket didn't count! Awkward!
Superman salutes the bench! A superhero's salute to the their bare hands crew!
All Might is named player of the game! The superhero is also the star!
All Might does a handstand. Spider-Man holds him by the feet. The crowd holds its breath. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
108-85 (W)
Spider-Man sets the tone early! The superhero came to play tonight!
All Might carves through and scores! That's what a superhero does best!
Superman defends the post! Sturdy as a superhero braced for impact!
Superman whips it cross-court! Covering distance with their bare hands range!
Wally West plays the chess match! Outsmarted them like a superhero on their best day!
Rest time. Superman isolates in a corner of the locker room, headphones on. Did you know? Superman launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Superman with a double-clutch layup off the pick! Using screens better than most pros!
You can cut the tension with a knife! A sold-out gym on fire as The Iron Giant steps up!
This generational talent Spider-Man swings the pill around! Night-in night-out consistency ball movement!
The Iron Giant, this potential breakout star, is playing with nothing to lose! Watch out, this potential breakout star is dangerous!
Superman walks off the arena victorious! A superhero who conquered it all tonight!
All Might cries tears of joy in Superman's arms. The Iron Giant is also crying but nobody knows why. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
114-106 (W)
All Might fires up the crowd to open the game! This total unknown starting strong!
Superman crosses over and scores! Those superhero hands work wonders with the pill!
Wally West springs the trap! The superhero instinct is real!
All Might quarterbacks the offense! Commanding the floor like a superhero on the clock!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Spider-Man with the savvy veteran play! Natural-born leadership experience showing!
Back to the locker room. The Iron Giant punches his locker. Did you know The Iron Giant once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
The Iron Giant, this who-is-this-guy player, with the exclamation-point off-balance shot! Game changer!
The jumbotron shows Wally West's superhero highlight reel! What a career!
All Might draws the attention! Magnetic presence, the superhero aura is undeniable!
All Might's transformation from superhero to athlete is this must-win game's best story!
Spider-Man leaves everything on the arena! Left it all out there tonight!
Spider-Man climbs onto the scorer's table. Wally West joins him. Security is unsure whether to intervene. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
113-106 (W)
All Might checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
This hidden prospect Wally West does it again! A fadeaway jumper with effortless precision!
Superman, this all-around player, erases the shot at the rim! Rim protector!
All Might picks apart the defense! Assist leads to a buzzer-beater!
The Iron Giant takes off into the right spacing! Insane court vision and elite court awareness!
Halftime. The Iron Giant is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Anecdote: The Iron Giant lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
Spider-Man knocks it down! Solid as a superhero with their bare hands in hand!
Spider-Man, this undisputed superstar, waves the crowd up! A Finals-like atmosphere rising!
Superman plays their role perfectly! Role player, role superhero with their bare hands!
Spider-Man leaves it all on the floor! This global icon with unreal swagger effort!
Spider-Man posts career numbers! Numbers bigger than the game inventory!
Spider-Man and Wally West share a 30-second hug. All Might wants in. Gets pushed away. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
114-80 (W)
The Iron Giant, this who-is-this-guy player, draws first blood! A double-clutch layup to start!
A buzzer-beater by The Iron Giant! The crowd erupts! Silky smooth technique personified!
The Iron Giant threads the needle! Beautiful assist from way beyond the arc! Unreal court vision!
Spider-Man cuts and scores! Sharp as their bare hands, this superhero!
Spider-Man with a crucial offensive board! The reflexes of a superhero catching the game!
Halftime! The Iron Giant walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Exclusive info: The Iron Giant is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
Spider-Man converts a tough two-handed slam at the top of the key! Skill level: elite!
Spider-Man and the starters head to the bench! Job done, game over!
Wally West set up a mini game station on the bench! Dedication!
Superman shoots to center court! A fist pump toward the bench! This first-ballot legend owns the moment!
The Iron Giant, this player nobody saw coming, high-fives the bench! A chest bump! Team effort!
The Iron Giant and Superman carry All Might like a trophy across the entire court. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
102-121 (L)
Wally West lands the first double-clutch layup! First blood! The superhero strikes first!
All Might rattles it out! Shaking the field house with their bare hands intensity!
Superman throws it away! A pass worse than a superhero tossing the game!
Wally West, this swiss-army-knife type, gets exploited in the switch! Hot head exposed in the mismatch!
An alley-oop! The Iron Giant cannot be stopped tonight! This who-is-this-guy player is locked in!
Halftime whistle. Wally West high-fives his teammates on the way out. True story: Wally West had his parking spot stolen by Toronto Border-Patrol's mascot. Still talks about it. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
All Might pounds the scorer's table! Frustrated! The superhero in them is showing!
Wally West, this tweener, wastes a golden chance with a wild pull-up jumper!
Wally West calls the audible! Adapting on the fly, that's superhero mentality!
All Might gets the cramp timeout! Cramping from competing the game and hooping!
Wally West walks off in silence. This newcomer gave it all but it wasn't enough.
All Might turns back to look at the court one last time. Wally West doesn't turn around. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
100-107 (L)
All Might crosses over into position! This diamond in the rough not wasting any time!
An and-one by Spider-Man facing the rim is way off! Tough night for this undisputed superstar!
All Might with a wild pass that sails out! This total unknown giving it away!
This basketball god Spider-Man bites on the fake! Beaten off the pick and roll!
Superman scores the go-ahead! A superhero who always finishes the job on time!
Break. The Iron Giant collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. Fun fact: The Iron Giant got rejected at a casting for a deodorant commercial. The irony. The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
This hidden prospect All Might slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
This dude out of nowhere All Might whiffs on an and-one! The crowd groans!
Superman, this household name, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Natural-born leadership!
This absolute legend Superman can barely jump! The springs are gone along the baseline!
All Might sits alone on the bench. This player nobody saw coming processing the defeat.
The Iron Giant sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. All Might puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. I got a text from The Iron Giant after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
110-98 (W)
This potential breakout star The Iron Giant in the starting lineup! Let's see what this potential breakout star brings!
The Iron Giant attacks facing the rim and finishes with a reverse layup! Too good!
Spider-Man blocks from behind! Came outta nowhere like a superhero on a mission!
Wally West, this versatile guy, runs the offense with scary good handles! Beautiful passing!
The Iron Giant reads the defense perfectly! Nerves of steel and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Halftime. The physio pounces on The Iron Giant to massage his thighs. Word is The Iron Giant sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Wally West nails a reverse layup on the final possession! A superhero who delivers when it matters!
The crowd waves their bare hands replicas! Wally West has started a movement!
Spider-Man chains the plays together! Stringing them like a superhero on a roll!
Wally West brings blue-collar their bare hands grit to the court!
Superman hangs up the shorts! Calling it a night, the superhero is done!
The Iron Giant and All Might leap onto each other like kids. Superman comes sprinting in and crushes them both. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
96-116 (L)
Tip-off! The Iron Giant gets us started! Let's go!
The Iron Giant, this swiss-army-knife type, gets the look but can't convert along the baseline!
This dude out of nowhere The Iron Giant forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Superman, this combo guard, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over sometimes predictable game!
The Iron Giant penetrates to the rack for a bucket! Can't contain this do-it-all player!
Finally a breather. All Might has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Word is All Might sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
All Might walks away muttering! Muttering about the game under their breath!
Superman can't find the range! Their bare hands has better accuracy than that!
Superman fades away to the weak side! This living legend exploiting the rotation!
The Iron Giant, this who-is-this-guy player, is dragging! The 48 regulation minutes minutes taking their toll!
The Iron Giant, this combo guard, hangs the head. Tough loss despite night-in night-out consistency effort.
Spider-Man slams his fist on the bench. All Might places his palm flat, as if to calm the surface. Behind the scenes, I learned All Might was also a superhero in a past life. You can feel it in the game. Thanks for watching. Coming up: '48 Hours: The Secret Life of Roundabouts.' Essential viewing.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
87-114 (L)
The game begins and Spider-Man is ready! You can see night-in night-out consistency written all over his face!
Superman whiffs on the jumper! A superhero off their game with their bare hands!
Superman loses the basketball! A superhero would never be this careless!
Wally West loses the screen battle! Injury-prone body around the picks!
Wally West crosses over past everyone for a bucket! This smooth operator on a mission!
The players disappear. Wally West has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. They say Wally West has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
All Might glares at the orange! Like it personally betrayed this superhero!
Wally West misses the free throw! Competing the game under pressure is easier!
Wally West attacks the ball out of the trap! Eyes in the back of the head under pressure!
The Iron Giant, this surprise package, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
Wally West leaves the venue quietly! Quiet as a superhero after the game setback!
All Might's eyes are glassy. The Iron Giant mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. Did you know that The Iron Giant practices superhero on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
115-97 (W)
Spider-Man lets fly with energy from the opening whistle! This franchise cornerstone locked in!
The Iron Giant pulls up and fires a buzzer-beater! This smooth operator lighting it up!
Wally West forces the step-out-of-bounds! This rising star hawking the ball!
This all-time great Spider-Man with the wraparound pass! How did that get through!
Spider-Man manipulates the defense! Manipulation worthy of their bare hands on the game!
Rest. The Iron Giant buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. True story: The Iron Giant had his parking spot stolen by Cleveland Twin-Towers's mascot. Still talks about it. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
What a shot from All Might! A superhero bringing their bare hands energy to the court!
Post-game fireworks for All Might! Brighter than their bare hands on a perfect day!
Superman sacrifices the body taking the charge! This certified GOAT candidate ultimate teammate!
From humble the game beginnings, Superman rises at the temple of basketball!
Spider-Man heads to the locker room with a smile! Good day at the office for the superhero!
Wally West throws chalk powder like LeBron. All Might coughs for two minutes straight. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
89-110 (L)
All Might opens with a hook shot! This raw talent making an early statement!
Wally West, this who-is-this-guy player, with the shot-clock heave! No good under the basket!
Superman throws it into the stands! What was that from this first-ballot legend!
Wally West, this combo guard, gets dunked on in transition! Poster material!
Superman shoots the Spalding beautifully for a deep three! What touch!
The players disappear into the tunnel. All Might asks for an ice pack. Anecdote: All Might slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
All Might, this potential breakout star, yells at the coaching staff! Heavy feet causing friction!
The Iron Giant, this all-around player, can't finish back to the basket! That one stings!
All Might shifts the defense! Moving pieces like a superhero at work!
All Might mops their face! Sweating more than when competing the game!
Superman vows to come back stronger! Stronger than their bare hands reinforced with the game!
The Iron Giant turns back to look at the court one last time. All Might doesn't turn around. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
87-127 (L)
Superman locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a superhero who means business!
All Might launches a sky hook and... Airball! Occasional mental lapses at its peak!
Wally West double-dribbles! Competing the game doesn't have that rule!
Superman beaten to the spot! Slower than a superhero on a Monday morning!
Superman storms to the bench! Heated! This superhero doesn't handle losing well!
Halftime! The Iron Giant is limping slightly heading off the court. Exclusive info: The Iron Giant is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
Superman launches and misses! The Spalding isn't the game, and it shows!
All Might is cramping up! This newcomer trying to shake it off! Shaky emotions under pressure!
All Might coughs it up! A superhero's grip doesn't work on the pill!
Spider-Man throws their hands up! Like a superhero when their bare hands breaks!
Spider-Man looks at the scoreboard one last time! Numbers don't lie for a superhero!
Wally West is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. Spider-Man waits at the tunnel entrance. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
89-133 (L)
Game time! All Might and this rising star ready to put on a show at the arena!
All Might can't convert the open shot! Competing the game is way easier!
The Iron Giant fires away into a dead end at the top of the key! Turnover! Hot head!
Wally West overcommits! Going all-in like a superhero on the game, but wrong!
Spider-Man crosses over angrily after the turnover! This guy with rings on every finger spiraling!
The players leave the court. Spider-Man clings to the tunnel railing. Did you know Spider-Man keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
Spider-Man gets a clean look but ego the size of Texas costs the bucket!
Superman spins a step slower than usual! Hot head in the tank!
Intercepted! All Might's pass snatched right out of the air! A superhero would never be that careless!
This newcomer The Iron Giant stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Superman walks off in defeat! Even a superhero's skills couldn't save tonight!
The Iron Giant chews his nails on the bench. Spider-Man stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
op ends the season #9 with a 7W-8L record. Season MVP: Wally West.
Season Journal
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. Ladies and gentlemen... Op!
If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Wally West. The man is massive, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball.
You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance.
And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Superman. The man is a superhero. A freaking superhero. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with bare hands and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered.
The budget? Look, I've seen GoFundMe campaigns with more money. We're below the salary floor, which means the league is literally going to HAND them cash to hit the legal minimum. It's embarrassing, but it's also a plan: tank hard, finish last, snag the first overall pick, and rebuild. The problem is they've been tanking for three years and never landed the top pick. Bad luck has a name, and it's this damn franchise.
op ends the season #9 with a 7W-8L record. Season MVP: Wally West.
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