My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | New York Over-Timers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Houston Blast-Off | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
| 16 | My Team | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Buckle up, pull your visor down, and clench everything you've got because tonight we are NOT talking about some pickup game at the park. Hell no. We're talking about an arena shaking so hard the neighbors called the cops three times before tip-off. We're talking about a franchise built on decades of sweat, tears, heart-stopping buzzer-beaters, and Draft picks so bold that half the league thought they'd lost their minds. And yet, here they are, back and hungrier than ever. The team with no name, baby! Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. Robert E. Lee. Just the name sends chills through the building. The man is massive, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face. His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket. And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Peter Griffin. The man is an amateur. A freaking amateur. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with bare hands and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered. Let's talk budget, and by "budget" I mean the spare change you find between the couch cushions. These guys are so far under the salary floor that the league literally has to GIVE them money to meet the minimum. This is the squad that travels by Greyhound bus and washes their own jerseys. No stars, just hungry rookies on two-way deals and bitter vets signed for the minimum. It's the perfect setup for tanking your way to a top Draft pick, but for the fans, it's a damn desert crossing.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
80-125 (L)
Tip-off! Peter Griffin gets us started! Let's go!
Robert E. Lee throws up a clunker! Their service rifle would weep at that trajectory!
Beabadoobee with the careless pass! Competing the game with more care, please!
MF DOOM bites on the pump fake! This league veteran sent flying driving to the hoop!
MF DOOM, this swiss-army-knife type, waves off the play call! Tendency to force bad shots hurting the team!
Cut! Halftime. Beabadoobee's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Intel: Beabadoobee asked Detroit Engine-Roar for their energy drink recipe. They refused. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Peter Griffin, this tweener, can't finish in the paint! That one stings!
Robert E. Lee grabs the jersey for air! Needs more air than their service rifle in the workshop!
George Washington coughs up the ball! Defense that's basically a suggestion strikes again at half court!
George Washington storms to the bench! Heated! This farmer doesn't handle losing well!
Robert E. Lee shakes hands through the pain! A military personnel who respects their service rifle and the game!
George Washington collapses into the first available chair. Peter Griffin stays standing, eyes glazed over. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
95-97 (L)
Peter Griffin opens with a floater! This up-and-coming baller making an early statement!
A pull-up jumper from Peter Griffin! This next-level player just keeps delivering!
George Washington gets crossed over! This potential GOAT left frozen at the buzzer!
MF DOOM denied by the basket! Even a rapper can't pry it open!
George Washington scores and flexes! The flex of a farmer who conquered the seed dibber!
The players file out. Beabadoobee exchanges a tense look with the coach. Did you know? Beabadoobee has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
George Washington sends the free throw long! Overcooked it, the farmer touch is off tonight!
This league veteran Peter Griffin throws an elbow in frustration! Sometimes predictable game on full display!
What a journey for Peter Griffin! From the bench to the spotlight! You love to see it!
Peter Griffin fades away and bricks it! Limited stamina in the closing moments!
MF DOOM sits on the bench post-game! Sitting like a rapper after their hot mic broke!
MF DOOM mutters 'damn' under his breath. Peter Griffin says 'yeah' in the same tone. I got a text from MF DOOM after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
81-114 (L)
Robert E. Lee, this do-it-all player, is introduced and the arena explodes! This first-ballot legend is in the building!
Beabadoobee air-mails a scoop layup from way beyond the arc! Way off for this player making noise!
George Washington throws it into traffic! Reckless pass, the farmer got too confident!
Peter Griffin loses the screen battle! Occasional mental lapses around the picks!
Beabadoobee, this seasoned vet, with the frustrated foul! Tendency to rush in tough moments!
Halftime whistle. Beabadoobee flops into the first available chair. Little secret: Beabadoobee has a secret TikTok account with 12 followers. Posts cooking tutorials. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
George Washington shanks it from the center circle! Cultivating the stubborn soil uses different muscles!
This seasoned vet Peter Griffin calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Hot head taking its toll!
Peter Griffin with the errant pass! This hooper's hooper needs to settle down!
This global icon George Washington stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
George Washington dunks to the tunnel in disappointment. This guy with rings on every finger will learn from this.
George Washington leaves the court at a jog. Robert E. Lee stays there, planted at center court, motionless. I learned tonight that George Washington used to be a farmer. That explains the unique running style. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
89-113 (L)
Peter Griffin, this all-around player, takes the court! The hostile crowd is electric!
MF DOOM bricks it! Not the same accuracy as spitting the fiery bars!
Peter Griffin throws it into the stands! What was that from this solid pro!
George Washington reacts too late to rotate! Injury-prone body on the help side!
MF DOOM hits from downtown! Precision worthy of their hot mic from the right corner!
The players leave the court. George Washington clings to the tunnel railing. Little scoop: George Washington collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Robert E. Lee mutters to himself walking back! This franchise cornerstone fighting inner demons!
Peter Griffin can't buy a bucket! Another miss in the paint! Frustrating!
Robert E. Lee traps with the double! Trapping them, the military personnel knows how to corner prey!
This next-level player Peter Griffin is a warrior but the body says no! This ball game of war!
Peter Griffin pulls up past the media. This solid pro not in the mood to talk.
MF DOOM and Peter Griffin walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
105-110 (L)
George Washington steps onto the court! From cultivating the stubborn soil to this, game time!
MF DOOM with the step-back two-handed slam! Creating space like a rapper with their hot mic!
MF DOOM gives up the back door! Shaky emotions under pressure when overplaying!
This living legend George Washington with a rare miss in transition! Even the best stumble!
George Washington cuts the deficit! Cutting through with the seed dibber sharpness!
Halftime whistle. George Washington flops into the first available chair. Juicy intel: George Washington turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Beabadoobee can't deliver! Even a singer can't help in this the first half!
Robert E. Lee slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a military personnel hits the workbench!
Robert E. Lee's arc from the frontline to a layup is the stuff of movies!
George Washington misses the game-tying shot! Even a farmer couldn't save that one!
Beabadoobee takes the loss hard! Hard as the game on a bad singer day!
Robert E. Lee closes his eyes walking out. Peter Griffin keeps his wide open, fixed, empty. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
106-117 (L)
George Washington, this potential GOAT, embraces the Finals-like atmosphere! Game on!
George Washington fades away the damn ball into nothing! Tendency to force bad shots on full display tonight!
Peter Griffin charges right into the defender! Turnover! Occasional mental lapses when controlling pace!
George Washington can't stay in front! Cultivating the stubborn soil doesn't build lateral quickness!
A hook shot from Peter Griffin! This seasoned vet is putting on a show tonight!
Break time. George Washington bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Locker room intel: George Washington has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Robert E. Lee kicks the air! The frustration of a military personnel who knows they can do better!
George Washington shoots short! Not enough juice! Even a farmer would cringe!
Beabadoobee finds the angle! The angle singer uses for the game!
Beabadoobee, this smooth operator, looks exhausted back to the basket! The legs are gone!
Robert E. Lee gave it everything! Everything a military personnel has, left on the court!
George Washington chews his nails on the bench. Robert E. Lee stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. Tonight I nearly had a heart attack at least four times. And I'm just the commentator. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
100-125 (L)
Robert E. Lee lands the first euro-step! First blood! The military personnel strikes first!
Beabadoobee, this solid pro, sends the Spalding wide! The touch is off tonight!
Robert E. Lee gets the ball stripped! The frontline would have stayed in a military personnel's grip!
George Washington watches them score! Just watching, like watching the seed dibber gather dust!
Beabadoobee goes to work through traffic and scores! Incredible finish!
End of the second quarter. Beabadoobee is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Small detail: Beabadoobee wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
Beabadoobee, this versatile guy, pounds the scorer's table! Tendency to rush on full display!
Peter Griffin lets fly the leather but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
MF DOOM executes the delay! Patient as a rapper waiting for their hot mic results!
George Washington finds a second wind! The farmer engine roars back to life!
Robert E. Lee walks off in defeat! Even a military personnel's skills couldn't save tonight!
MF DOOM's face is locked shut, zero emotion. Peter Griffin hides his eyes under a towel. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
92-108 (L)
Robert E. Lee sets the tone early! The military personnel came to play tonight!
George Washington gets a clean look but shaky emotions under pressure costs the bucket!
Stolen from Beabadoobee! A singer who let it slip through their fingers!
MF DOOM gets burned on the switch! Hotter than a rapper's worst day on the job!
Peter Griffin answers back with a reverse layup! Pure God-given talent under pressure!
Break! Peter Griffin heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. Juicy intel: Peter Griffin turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
Robert E. Lee drops the head after another miss! Hot head sapping the confidence!
MF DOOM sends it long! Too much power, not enough finesse from this rapper!
This dude putting the league on notice MF DOOM recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
Beabadoobee calls for the sub! Even a singer's stamina with their bare hands has limits!
George Washington vows to come back stronger! Stronger than the seed dibber reinforced with the stubborn soil!
George Washington hurls his water bottle at the wall. Robert E. Lee flinches but doesn't react. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
87-124 (L)
George Washington stretches center court! Loosening up, the farmer is getting ready!
George Washington misses the layup! Even the stubborn soil would have gone in easier!
Beabadoobee botches the handoff! Even their bare hands exchanges go smoother!
Robert E. Lee left in the dust! Even a military personnel moves faster than that!
Beabadoobee attacks away from the huddle! This dude putting the league on notice in a dark place mentally!
The players file out. Robert E. Lee exchanges a tense look with the coach. Quick anecdote about Robert E. Lee: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
Robert E. Lee just barely misses! Close as a military personnel getting the frontline almost right!
This potential GOAT George Washington has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
MF DOOM with the backcourt violation! A rapper going backwards with the fiery bars!
MF DOOM sits on the bench for a moment! Resting like a rapper after a long shift!
Robert E. Lee packs up and heads out! Packing their service rifle, unpacking emotions!
MF DOOM's gaze is cold, distant. Peter Griffin's gaze is hot, angry. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
79-124 (L)
Beabadoobee wins the opening tip! Tipping off with singer energy!
Peter Griffin fires away the Spalding right into the defender's hands! Hot head!
Turnover by Beabadoobee! Competing the game requires less coordination, clearly!
Robert E. Lee caught flat-footed! Standing still, the military personnel reflexes took a nap!
Beabadoobee throws their hands up! Like a singer when their bare hands breaks!
Off to the locker room. Peter Griffin has already drained two water bottles. Little secret: Peter Griffin has a secret TikTok account with 12 followers. Posts cooking tutorials. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Robert E. Lee with the off-balance tear drop! This basketball god couldn't set the feet!
MF DOOM leans on their knees! Gassed, but the rapper keeps going!
Robert E. Lee throws it away! A pass worse than a military personnel tossing the frontline!
MF DOOM argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to spitting the fiery bars!
This all-time great Robert E. Lee leaves the temple of basketball with head held high. Fought to the end.
George Washington closes his eyes walking out. Robert E. Lee keeps his wide open, fixed, empty. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
89-124 (L)
Robert E. Lee, this do-it-all player, sets the tone immediately! That dawg mentality from the jump!
Beabadoobee misfires on the floater! Too much float, the singer touch abandoned them!
Robert E. Lee posts up carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
George Washington loses their assignment! Like losing the seed dibber in the workshop!
George Washington lets fly and kicks the stanchion! This undisputed superstar losing composure!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, George Washington picks up the pace. Fun fact: George Washington tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
MF DOOM, this player on the come-up, with a contested and-one that misses on the low block!
Beabadoobee slows down visibly! Slower than their bare hands on low power!
Beabadoobee turns it over at the jump ball! A singer dropping their bare hands at the worst time!
This guy with a proven track record Beabadoobee fouls hard out of frustration! Defense that's basically a suggestion showing!
This respected competitor Peter Griffin tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Beabadoobee's gaze is cold, distant. Robert E. Lee's gaze is hot, angry. I learned backstage that Robert E. Lee also does farmer on weekends. That explains those reflexes. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
82-126 (L)
MF DOOM attacks into position! This player on the come-up not wasting any time!
Robert E. Lee spins but overcooks it! Sometimes predictable game showing up again!
Robert E. Lee loses possession! The frontline never leaves a military personnel's hands like that!
MF DOOM scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Limited stamina!
MF DOOM can't mask the disappointment! This legit talent wearing it on the sleeve!
Halftime. MF DOOM glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Fun fact: MF DOOM got rejected at a casting for a deodorant commercial. The irony. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
George Washington can't find the range! The seed dibber has better accuracy than that!
Robert E. Lee struggles in crunch time! The military personnel hitting the wall with the frontline!
Robert E. Lee loses the leather! A military personnel would never be this careless!
Robert E. Lee is visibly upset! Upset as a military personnel when the frontline goes sideways!
MF DOOM fought but fell short! Just out of reach, the rapper gave everything!
MF DOOM watches the crowd file out in silence. Peter Griffin prefers not to look. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
84-128 (L)
The venue welcomes Beabadoobee! The singer with the game has arrived!
George Washington skips it off the rim! The stubborn soil has better hop than that!
MF DOOM, this versatile guy, gets the ball poked away! Lack of consistency when protecting the rock!
George Washington gets crossed over! Ankles broken like the stubborn soil on a rough day!
Beabadoobee waves off the play! The authority of a singer in that gesture!
Halftime. Robert E. Lee throws his towel on the floor walking in. Small detail: Robert E. Lee wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. We're back! The players look fired up.
MF DOOM, this swiss-army-knife type, gets stuffed trying a pull-up jumper! Denied!
Robert E. Lee is out on their feet! Running on fumes and pure military personnel stubbornness!
Beabadoobee turns it over in the corner! Butterfingers from this singer!
Beabadoobee tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the singer will bounce back!
MF DOOM hangs their head! A rapper who gave everything they had!
George Washington sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Robert E. Lee puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
74-119 (L)
Beabadoobee comes out hot! Heated up and ready, the singer means business!
Brick! Robert E. Lee misfires facing the rim! Injury-prone body at the worst time!
Beabadoobee, this combo guard, commits the travel! Heavy feet in the footwork!
George Washington overcommits! Going all-in like a farmer on the stubborn soil, but wrong!
Robert E. Lee mouths off at the last second! A military personnel venting about the frontline!
Break! Peter Griffin grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Did you know? Peter Griffin tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Beabadoobee clanks it off the rim! That sounded like their bare hands hitting the game!
Beabadoobee gets the cramp timeout! Cramping from competing the game and hooping!
Robert E. Lee passes to nobody! This basketball god with a head-scratching decision!
This player on the come-up MF DOOM slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
This legit talent Peter Griffin stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this legit talent wanted.
Peter Griffin and Robert E. Lee share a single look. Just one. It contains all the disappointment in the world. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
73-118 (L)
Robert E. Lee, this guy with rings on every finger, draws first blood! A scoop layup to start!
A step-back three from Peter Griffin sails wide! This legit talent needs to regroup!
Peter Griffin with the lazy pass! Injury-prone body leading to easy points!
This once-in-a-lifetime player George Washington commits the and-one foul! Sometimes predictable game in positioning!
Robert E. Lee mouths off and picks up a T! Ego the size of Texas taking over!
The locker room fills up. Peter Griffin has already eaten three oranges. Rumor has it Peter Griffin does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Robert E. Lee, this solid build, draws the foul but can't capitalize! Ego the size of Texas!
MF DOOM tanks the play from tiredness! Tanked like a rapper's energy for the fiery bars!
Peter Griffin, this swiss-army-knife type, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted back to the basket!
Peter Griffin slams the Spalding in frustration! Sometimes predictable game on full display!
Beabadoobee, this solid pro, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
MF DOOM taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. Robert E. Lee walks through the door without pushing it. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Robert E. Lee.
Season Journal
Buckle up, pull your visor down, and clench everything you've got because tonight we are NOT talking about some pickup game at the park. Hell no. We're talking about an arena shaking so hard the neighbors called the cops three times before tip-off. We're talking about a franchise built on decades of sweat, tears, heart-stopping buzzer-beaters, and Draft picks so bold that half the league thought they'd lost their minds. And yet, here they are, back and hungrier than ever. The team with no name, baby!
Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. Robert E. Lee. Just the name sends chills through the building. The man is massive, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face.
His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket.
And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Peter Griffin. The man is an amateur. A freaking amateur. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with bare hands and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered.
Let's talk budget, and by "budget" I mean the spare change you find between the couch cushions. These guys are so far under the salary floor that the league literally has to GIVE them money to meet the minimum. This is the squad that travels by Greyhound bus and washes their own jerseys. No stars, just hungry rookies on two-way deals and bitter vets signed for the minimum. It's the perfect setup for tanking your way to a top Draft pick, but for the fans, it's a damn desert crossing.
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Robert E. Lee.
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