Imabird — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | New York Over-Timers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Houston Blast-Off | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 16 | Imabird | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Holy shit, the arena is erupting and the game hasn't even started. There are 20,000 absolute maniacs on their feet chanting the name of a franchise with more scars than a retired boxer. Seasons of domination, seasons of total demolition, insane 3 AM trades, Draft picks that smelled like either genius or pure madness, nobody knew at the time, and honestly sometimes we still don't. But tonight, all of that is behind us. Tonight is the present, and the present reeks of adrenaline and revenge. Ladies and gentlemen... Imabird! Okay, let's talk about the boss. Because on this team, there's one alpha, and everybody knows it. Larry Bird. Standing at 206 cm, a body built for basketball, and a basketball IQ that borders on indecent. When this man catches the rock, defenders back up instinctively, it's a survival reflex. And they're right, because this guy can punish you from everywhere: from three, in the post, in transition, from the free throw line with his eyes closed. He's a damn 6'8" Swiss Army knife and he cuts in every direction. His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket. Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. Big Bird is on this team. Big Bird, who is an amateur and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with bare hands under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world. Financially, we're in no man's land. Not poor, not rich. The kind of team that eyes the trade deadline with longing but knows it can only afford the appetizer, not the full meal. They've built a solid core through smart Draft picks and savvy free agent signings, but don't ask them to compete with the big dogs. Their weapon? Chemistry. And a coach who turns lead into gold. Well, bronze. Okay, silver on a good day.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
81-126 (L)
This dark horse Carson birdy means business! Fast start at the buzzer!
Stephen Hawking explodes the basketball into the front rim! That's frustrating for this first-ballot legend!
This dude out of nowhere Carson birdy commits the offensive foul! Turnover at the buzzer!
Stephen Hawking gives up the easy bucket! Easier than challenging the young scholars!
Big Bird, this seasoned vet, yells at the coaching staff! Injury-prone body causing friction!
Break time. Tony Hawk bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Small detail: Tony Hawk whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
Tony Hawk, this all-around player, gets the separation but can't finish! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Carson birdy, this tweener, laboring up and down! Tendency to rush draining the energy!
Big Bird charges right into the defender! Turnover! Limited stamina when controlling pace!
Tony Hawk glares at the scoreboard! This legit talent not happy with the situation!
This rising star Carson birdy congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this rising star.
Tony Hawk and Stephen Hawking walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
89-102 (L)
This big-name player Larry Bird opens the scoring! A layup! Early advantage!
Larry Bird forces a buzzer-beater along the baseline! This headliner trying too hard!
Larry Bird with the backcourt violation! This big-name player under too much pressure!
This big-name player Larry Bird bites on the fake! Beaten under the basket!
Tony Hawk, this solid build, uses strength and skill for a step-back three! Complete player!
Halftime. Tony Hawk glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Did you know Tony Hawk knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Miami Heart-Attack's colors. By accident, obviously. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
Larry Bird, this top-tier talent, with the frustrated foul! Tendency to rush in tough moments!
Carson birdy fires a layup from way beyond the arc but can't connect! Defense that's basically a suggestion showing!
Big Bird, this respected competitor, draws the double team and finds the open man! High IQ!
Tony Hawk is out on their feet! Running on fumes and pure movie actor stubbornness!
This solid pro Big Bird leaves the gym with head held high. Fought to the end.
Tony Hawk slams his fist on the bench. Carson birdy places his palm flat, as if to calm the surface. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
81-125 (L)
Big Bird, this miniature missile, is introduced and the arena explodes! This respected competitor is in the building!
Stephen Hawking, this living legend, fumbles the finish off the pick and roll! Back to the drawing board!
Tony Hawk throws it out of bounds! Like launching the script binder into the void!
Tony Hawk gets back-doored! Didn't see it, like not seeing the film character behind the script binder!
Tony Hawk tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the movie actor will bounce back!
Break! Carson birdy rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Did you know? Carson birdy once signed an autograph for a referee. During the game. Mid free-throw. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Big Bird, this established player, comes up empty! A finger roll off target driving to the hoop!
Tony Hawk cramps up! Muscles tight from the script binder and the ball double duty!
Carson birdy, this all-around player, gets stripped from the left corner! Heavy feet exposed!
Big Bird slams the rock in frustration! Tendency to rush on full display!
Stephen Hawking refuses to make excuses! A university professor owns the young scholars failures too!
Carson birdy and Big Bird walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
86-118 (L)
Larry Bird dunks onto the floor! The crowd roars for this guy everybody knows!
The rim rejects Stephen Hawking! The rim says no! Even a university professor gets rejected sometimes!
This guy with a proven track record Big Bird with turnover number buckets! Occasional mental lapses is piling up!
Stephen Hawking gambles for the steal and pays the price! Tendency to force bad shots!
Carson birdy, this versatile guy, waves off the play call! Ego the size of Texas hurting the team!
The players head in. Stephen Hawking slips on the wet tunnel floor. Did you know? Stephen Hawking once signed an autograph for a referee. During the game. Mid free-throw. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Big Bird misfires from along the baseline! This next-level player searching for answers!
This league veteran Tony Hawk calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Hot head taking its toll!
Larry Bird, this towering presence, steps out of bounds with the orange! Mental lapse!
Stephen Hawking vents at their teammates! The university professor who vents about the young scholars!
Larry Bird, this multi-time All-Star, takes the loss hard. Limited stamina at the wrong moments.
Carson birdy turns back to look at the court one last time. Big Bird doesn't turn around. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
90-135 (L)
Larry Bird, this max-contract guy, draws first blood! A bucket to start!
Tony Hawk shoots but it's well off! Defense that's basically a suggestion under fatigue!
Tony Hawk throws it away! A pass worse than a movie actor tossing the film character!
Tony Hawk turns the head and loses the man! This name that's buzzing napping defensively!
Tony Hawk slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a movie actor hits the workbench!
Back in the locker room, Carson birdy sits down and stares at the ceiling. True story: Carson birdy walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Phoenix No-Defense. Awkward. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
Carson birdy posts up and fires but misses everything! Occasional mental lapses tonight!
Stephen Hawking is spent! Used up like the young scholars after a university professor's long day!
Carson birdy throws it away! Defense that's basically a suggestion under pressure at the buzzer!
Tony Hawk, this solid build, pounds the scorer's table! Limited stamina on full display!
Larry Bird had the chances but couldn't convert. This top-tier talent left wanting.
Carson birdy refuses the coach's embrace. Big Bird accepts it but his body is stiff. I learned tonight that Carson birdy used to be a volunteer firefighter. That explains the unique running style. And now, a brand new episode of 'Desperately Seeking My Cat.' Good night, everyone.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
85-109 (L)
Larry Bird opens with a bucket! This elite player making an early statement!
Carson birdy, this tweener, can't finish under the basket! That one stings!
This dude putting the league on notice Tony Hawk loses concentration and the damn ball with it!
Stephen Hawking lunges the wrong direction! Fake had this generational talent fooled!
This basketball god Stephen Hawking capitalizes from the left corner! A floater with insane court vision!
Halftime. Stephen Hawking is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Fun fact: Stephen Hawking was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. The players jog toward the court. The air is electric.
This multi-time All-Star Larry Bird stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
A free throw from Larry Bird hits the iron! Ego the size of Texas under the spotlight!
This guy with rings on every finger Stephen Hawking with the savvy veteran play! Nerves of steel experience showing!
Stephen Hawking is clearly fatigued! The allotted time of this plus the allotted time of challenging the young scholars!
This next-level player Tony Hawk stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this next-level player wanted.
Stephen Hawking refuses Los Angeles Nursing-Home's handshake. Big Bird offers a limp one with just his fingertips. I learned backstage that Big Bird also does volunteer firefighter on weekends. That explains those reflexes. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
90-128 (L)
Stephen Hawking gets the crowd going early! Setting the tone like a university professor on day one!
Larry Bird, this mountain of a man, can't get a bucket to drop! Cold as ice tonight!
This guy with a proven track record Big Bird forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Stephen Hawking gives up the back door! Lack of consistency when overplaying!
Stephen Hawking mouths off at after a timeout! A university professor venting about the young scholars!
Halftime. Tony Hawk glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. They say Tony Hawk has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
That one wasn't even close, Tony Hawk! Stick to portraying the film character!
Tony Hawk powers through! The movie actor in them won't quit on the film character!
Carson birdy with the lazy pass! Tendency to force bad shots leading to easy points!
Big Bird, this short king, throws the hands up! Exasperated in the paint!
This basketball god Stephen Hawking shakes hands and moves on. In the end, sometimes predictable game proved costly.
Carson birdy sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. Big Bird winces. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
78-123 (L)
Larry Bird, this bonafide star, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Stephen Hawking shoots an air ball in a cathedral silence! A university professor lost in the noise!
Larry Bird loses the basketball in traffic! This bonafide star can't afford that!
Big Bird gets crossed over! This dude putting the league on notice left frozen from downtown!
Big Bird spins and kicks the stanchion! This guy with a proven track record losing composure!
Halftime. The doctor examines Carson birdy's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Did you know Carson birdy knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Minnesota Ice-Wall's colors. By accident, obviously. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
Carson birdy, this tweener, wastes a golden chance with a wild pull-up jumper!
Stephen Hawking short-arms the shot from fatigue! This global icon has nothing left!
This up-and-coming baller Big Bird gets pickpocketed in the paint! Sloppy handling!
This player on the come-up Big Bird hangs the head after the miss! Deflated under the basket!
Larry Bird, this beanpole, hangs the head. Tough loss despite night-in night-out consistency effort.
Stephen Hawking stares at the floor while Larry Bird mutters something inaudible under his breath. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
78-123 (L)
Tip-off! Big Bird gets us started! Let's go!
Stephen Hawking can't find the range! Their lecture notes has better accuracy than that!
Carson birdy with the errant pass! This who-is-this-guy player needs to settle down!
Tony Hawk gets posterized! A movie actor framed by the script binder in the worst way!
Big Bird drops the head after another miss! Limited stamina sapping the confidence!
Both teams head to the locker room. Carson birdy wipes his forehead with his jersey. Anecdote: Carson birdy once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Brick! Carson birdy misfires at the top of the key! Lack of consistency at the worst time!
Stephen Hawking bends over during the dead ball! This undisputed superstar gathering what's left!
Big Bird drives carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
Big Bird mutters to himself walking back! This established player fighting inner demons!
Tony Hawk tips the cap to the winners! The movie actor's grace with the film character!
Big Bird punches his locker when he gets to the locker room. Larry Bird slides down the wall to the floor. I learned that Big Bird's father was a volunteer firefighter. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
82-126 (L)
This player making noise Tony Hawk comes out aggressive! Opens with a step-back three under the basket!
Big Bird forces a bad alley-oop! This solid pro needs to trust teammates!
This basketball god Stephen Hawking dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Stephen Hawking watches them score! Just watching, like watching their lecture notes gather dust!
Tony Hawk walks away muttering! Muttering about the film character under their breath!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Big Bird picks up the pace. Fun fact: Big Bird blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Larry Bird dunks but the shot rims out! Lack of consistency rears its ugly head!
This elite player Larry Bird is a warrior but the body says no! The contest of war!
Stephen Hawking double-dribbles! Challenging the young scholars doesn't have that rule!
Carson birdy, this who-is-this-guy player, barks at the teammate! Sometimes predictable game taking over!
Big Bird, this legit talent, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Carson birdy's brow is furrowed, lips pressed thin. Big Bird breathes through his nose, hard, steady, trying to calm down. Tonight I learned Carson birdy used to be a volunteer firefighter before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
81-125 (L)
Big Bird fires up the crowd to open the game! This next-level player starting strong!
This world-class player Larry Bird shanks a half-court heave in transition! That's uncharacteristic!
Larry Bird blows past the Spalding right to the defense! Costly mistake by this certified bucket!
Larry Bird, this long boy, gets exploited in the switch! Ego the size of Texas exposed in the mismatch!
Tony Hawk storms to the bench! Heated! This movie actor doesn't handle losing well!
End of the second quarter. Big Bird is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Confession: Big Bird tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Larry Bird misfires from mid-range! Even this All-Star caliber talent has off nights!
This undisputed superstar Stephen Hawking can't close out! The legs are shot on the low block!
Big Bird penetrates into a trap! Defense that's basically a suggestion when reading the defense!
This guy nobody was talking about Carson birdy shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Larry Bird walks off in silence. This bonafide star gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Carson birdy sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Stephen Hawking puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
79-121 (L)
Tony Hawk checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Tony Hawk posts up the Spalding into nothing! Ego the size of Texas on full display tonight!
Big Bird, this compact dynamo, gets the ball poked away! Ego the size of Texas when protecting the damn ball!
Larry Bird reacts too late to rotate! Occasional mental lapses on the help side!
Stephen Hawking throws their hands up! Like a university professor when their lecture notes breaks!
Break. Carson birdy's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. The staff told me Carson birdy sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
Stephen Hawking misses at the jump ball! A university professor dropping the young scholars at the worst time!
Tony Hawk, this swiss-army-knife type, is drenched in sweat! Emptying the tank!
Big Bird, this compact dynamo, fumbles the entry pass back to the basket!
This world-class player Larry Bird can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Tony Hawk sits alone on the bench. This player making noise processing the defeat.
Larry Bird sits on the bench, staring into nothing. Stephen Hawking has his head in his hands. Tonight I learned Larry Bird used to be a volunteer firefighter before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
78-122 (L)
Stephen Hawking takes off with energy from the opening whistle! This household name locked in!
An off-balance shot from Carson birdy sails wide! This newcomer needs to regroup!
Stephen Hawking tries to be too fancy and loses the Wilson! Sometimes predictable game in the decision-making!
Stephen Hawking gets blown by! Even a university professor couldn't stop that!
This bonafide star Larry Bird slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
Heading in. Stephen Hawking's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. Anecdote: Stephen Hawking lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Stephen Hawking, this all-around player, loses the handle and the opportunity! Ego the size of Texas!
Larry Bird, this world-class player, sucking wind after that sprint! The allotted time of battle!
Big Bird, this pint-sized baller, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted under the basket!
This well-respected player Big Bird throws an elbow in frustration! Hot head on full display!
Stephen Hawking packs up and heads out! Packing their lecture notes, unpacking emotions!
Tony Hawk's gaze is cold, distant. Larry Bird's gaze is hot, angry. I learned tonight that Tony Hawk used to be a volunteer firefighter. That explains the unique running style. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
87-131 (L)
Tony Hawk stretches center court! Loosening up, the movie actor is getting ready!
Carson birdy, this total unknown, with a contested two-handed slam that misses in the paint!
Tony Hawk gets picked! A movie actor getting the film character stolen in broad daylight!
Larry Bird, this oversized freak, lets the shooter get free along the baseline! Costly lapse!
This bonafide star Larry Bird fouls hard out of frustration! Sometimes predictable game showing!
That's a cut. Carson birdy stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Little scoop: Carson birdy tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Tony Hawk whiffs on the jumper! A movie actor off their game with the script binder!
This raw talent Carson birdy stumbles! The fatigue is real after the 48 regulation minutes!
Carson birdy coughs up the ball! Occasional mental lapses strikes again from mid-range!
Carson birdy spins angrily after the turnover! This total unknown spiraling!
Stephen Hawking reflects on what could have been. Hot head the difference tonight.
Larry Bird takes off his shoes and carries them like a ghost. Tony Hawk follows the same path. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
87-132 (L)
The game begins and Big Bird is ready! You can see insane court vision written all over his face!
Larry Bird can't hit the ocean right now! Another miss for this franchise guy!
Tony Hawk coughs it up! A movie actor's grip doesn't work on the damn ball!
Larry Bird, this mammoth, gets dunked on from way beyond the arc! Poster material!
Larry Bird mouths off and picks up a T! Limited stamina taking over!
Halftime. Larry Bird's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Bus driver's confession: Larry Bird raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
Stephen Hawking, this potential GOAT, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
This hungry young player Carson birdy has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
This dark horse Carson birdy with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
Larry Bird launches away from the huddle! This reliable star in a dark place mentally!
Big Bird, this lightning-quick little man, trudges off the gymnasium. Lessons to take from this one.
Carson birdy and Larry Bird share a single look. Just one. It contains all the disappointment in the world. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Imabird finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Larry Bird.
Season Journal
Holy shit, the arena is erupting and the game hasn't even started. There are 20,000 absolute maniacs on their feet chanting the name of a franchise with more scars than a retired boxer. Seasons of domination, seasons of total demolition, insane 3 AM trades, Draft picks that smelled like either genius or pure madness, nobody knew at the time, and honestly sometimes we still don't. But tonight, all of that is behind us. Tonight is the present, and the present reeks of adrenaline and revenge. Ladies and gentlemen... Imabird!
Okay, let's talk about the boss. Because on this team, there's one alpha, and everybody knows it. Larry Bird. Standing at 206 cm, a body built for basketball, and a basketball IQ that borders on indecent. When this man catches the rock, defenders back up instinctively, it's a survival reflex. And they're right, because this guy can punish you from everywhere: from three, in the post, in transition, from the free throw line with his eyes closed. He's a damn 6'8" Swiss Army knife and he cuts in every direction.
His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket.
Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. Big Bird is on this team. Big Bird, who is an amateur and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with bare hands under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world.
Financially, we're in no man's land. Not poor, not rich. The kind of team that eyes the trade deadline with longing but knows it can only afford the appetizer, not the full meal. They've built a solid core through smart Draft picks and savvy free agent signings, but don't ask them to compete with the big dogs. Their weapon? Chemistry. And a coach who turns lead into gold. Well, bronze. Okay, silver on a good day.
Imabird finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Larry Bird.
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