Ni — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 5 | Ni | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Denver Horse-Track | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Houston Blast-Off | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Phoenix No-Defense | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Kill the cameras, turn off your phones, and shut your mouths because what we're about to witness tonight only happens once in a generation. We're in the belly of an arena where the floor trembles under the bass, where the Jumbotron spits fire, where 20,000 lunatics are screaming their heads off before the tip-off even happens. The franchise walking onto this court isn't a basketball club, it's a war machine forged in the pain of defeat and the madness of impossible comebacks. Every player here has gladiator blood in his veins and an ego size of Texas. Ladies and gentlemen... Ni! There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's Toni Kukoč. Standing at 207 cm, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face. You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance. Hold on tight because the next name is going to make you spit out your beer: Goku. Profession? Farmer. Yeah. The coach saw him on TV, called his agent (who didn't exist), and offered him a ten-day contract "to see." The guy showed up with seed dibber, a ham sandwich, and bulletproof enthusiasm. At his first practice, he attempted a dunk and ended up hanging from the net like a cat stuck in a tree. The fire department came. Twice. But he's got heart, the man, and apparently the precision he puts into stubborn soil could translate to mid-range shooting. We believe. Well, the coach believes. The rest of us broke out the popcorn. The budget here is absolutely insane, we're talking stratosphere money. This is Warriors and Suns territory. These guys are so loaded they've triggered the Second Apron: the league literally forbids them from signing free agents or combining salaries in trades. They have zero flexibility, handcuffed by their own damn wealth. It's "championship or crash and burn," no in-between.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
90-116 (L)
Goku stretches center court! Loosening up, the farmer is getting ready!
Kobe Bryant launches but the shot rims out! Tendency to rush rears its ugly head!
Kobe Bryant shoots the pill right to the defense! Costly mistake by this living legend!
Goku beaten off the dribble! Quicker than the stubborn soil slipping from a farmer!
A floater from Kobe Bryant! This potential GOAT reminding everyone why they're on top!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Michael Jordan picks up the pace. Confession: Michael Jordan tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Toni Kukoč storms to the bench! This name that's buzzing is visibly upset!
This franchise cornerstone Kobe Bryant with a rare miss along the baseline! Even the best stumble!
Toni Kukoč pushes the pace in transition! Freakish explosiveness showing in every play!
Kobe Bryant spins a step slower than usual! Tendency to rush in the tank!
Michael Jordan, this once-in-a-lifetime player, takes the loss hard. Injury-prone body at the wrong moments.
Justin Bieber shakes Michael Jordan's hand in silence. Not a word. Just a look that says it all. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
113-79 (W)
Goku gets the crowd going early! Setting the tone like a farmer on day one!
Goku scores from the right corner! A euro-step with unreal swagger! Brilliant!
Michael Jordan picks apart the defense! Assist leads to a two-handed slam!
Goku goes to work with the precision of a farmer at work. And it's a two-handed slam!
This next-level player Toni Kukoč anchors the defense off the pick and roll! Nothing gets through!
Break! Toni Kukoč rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Juicy intel: Toni Kukoč turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Toni Kukoč scores at will! A hook shot at the top of the key! This dude putting the league on notice domination!
Toni Kukoč piles it on! A two-handed slam extends the lead! No mercy tonight!
Kobe Bryant, this big fella, tries the spin move and gets dizzy! This global icon wobbling!
Justin Bieber, this little firecracker, gets the crowd on their feet! A raised fist! Electric!
Michael Jordan steps back into the tunnel with the W! This undisputed superstar all smiles!
Goku and Kobe Bryant do celebratory push-ups. Michael Jordan counts out loud. Definitely cheating. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Kobe Bryant. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
110-90 (W)
Justin Bieber steps onto the floor! From portraying the film character to this, game time!
Toni Kukoč, this colossus, takes over in the paint. A devastating dunk! That's elite!
This absolute legend Justin Bieber with the weak-side defensive stop! Incredible help!
Kobe Bryant posts up the leather through traffic! What a pass by this franchise cornerstone!
Goku makes the hockey pass! Night-in night-out consistency finding the extra pass!
Players head to the locker room. Michael Jordan has tape on three fingers. Rumor has it Michael Jordan tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
Michael Jordan with an unmatched feel for the game finds the angle for a euro-step!
Michael Jordan takes off in front of the home faithful! A cathedral silence! Beautiful!
Michael Jordan finds the open teammate! This absolute legend making everyone better!
This will be talked about for years! Michael Jordan with a catch-and-shoot triple! Iconic!
Kobe Bryant, this absolute unit, acknowledges the fans! Wild stands! A bench mob celebration!
Justin Bieber improvises an Oscar acceptance speech. Michael Jordan plays the imaginary violin. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
113-95 (W)
Goku sets the tone early! The farmer came to play tonight!
Justin Bieber, this small but mighty player, with a silky two-handed slam driving to the hoop! Smooth operator!
Toni Kukoč times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A surgical steal at the top of the key!
Toni Kukoč, this oversized freak, delivers the entry pass! Beautiful feed into the post!
Goku finds the angle! The angle farmer uses for the stubborn soil!
The locker room. Toni Kukoč sprawls out full-length on the bench. Did you know? Toni Kukoč has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
A fadeaway jumper from downtown by Kobe Bryant! This absolute unit with the long range!
The crowd chants Justin Bieber's name! Wild stands for the movie actor with the script binder!
This household name Kobe Bryant unites the locker room! An unmatched feel for the game captain's mentality!
This reliable star Goku with a performance for the ages! A career-defining moment chapter!
Michael Jordan, this once-in-a-lifetime player, high-fives the bench! A salute to the fans! Team effort!
Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant freestyle a victory rap. Justin Bieber does the beatbox. It's terrible but magnificent. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
101-96 (W)
Kobe Bryant, this giant, sets the tone immediately! Freakish explosiveness from the jump!
Kobe Bryant goes to work to the rack for a catch-and-shoot triple! Can't contain this long boy!
Toni Kukoč with the help-side monster swat! This player on the come-up always in position!
This name that's buzzing Toni Kukoč finds the open man! Assist and a bucket!
This seasoned vet Toni Kukoč switches defensive assignments on the fly! An unmatched feel for the game!
That's a wrap for now. Michael Jordan dives into the tunnel. They say Michael Jordan has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
This guy with rings on every finger Kobe Bryant does it again! A scoop layup with effortless precision!
The crowd does the wave for Goku! Farmer pride!
Michael Jordan, this big fella, repositions on defense! An unmatched feel for the game collective effort!
This seasoned vet Toni Kukoč turns adversity into fuel! A flash of genius energy!
This big-name player Goku led from start to finish! Comprehensive win!
Michael Jordan and Justin Bieber pretend to fish Goku out of the crowd. They pull hard. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
105-96 (W)
Goku announces themselves! The farmer has arrived and the building knows it!
Kobe Bryant, this hall-of-fame lock, exploits the mismatch for an off-balance shot! Too easy!
Michael Jordan, this big fella, swats it into the third row! A crucial offensive board!
Kobe Bryant with the incredible court vision! This household name sees passes nobody else does!
This name that's buzzing Toni Kukoč uses the floater over this colossus coverage! Smart!
Break! Toni Kukoč takes his jersey off before even reaching the locker room. Small detail: Toni Kukoč whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Goku scores an off-balance shot in wild stands! The seed dibber vibes radiating across the gym!
Standing room only! A sold-out gym on fire as Toni Kukoč takes over off the pick and roll!
Goku trusts the system! Trust of a farmer trusting the seed dibber!
This household name Kobe Bryant refuses to lose! The will of a champion!
Goku hugs the coach! The warmth of a farmer who just nailed it!
Justin Bieber and Michael Jordan chest bump so hard they each fly back three meters. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
108-116 (L)
Kobe Bryant, this once-in-a-lifetime player, draws first blood! A finger roll to start!
Kobe Bryant misses the open look! This franchise cornerstone can't believe it! Shaky emotions under pressure!
Justin Bieber, this little thunder, steps out of bounds with the pill! Mental lapse!
Michael Jordan, this giant, can't keep up with the speed! Shaky emotions under pressure exposed!
Goku with the fadeaway free throw! Smooth as the seed dibber in action!
That's a cut. Michael Jordan stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Did you know? Michael Jordan launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Justin Bieber slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a movie actor hits the workbench!
That one wasn't even close, Justin Bieber! Stick to portraying the film character!
This guy with rings on every finger Michael Jordan recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
Michael Jordan lets fly sluggishly! Limited stamina catching up with this first-ballot legend!
Justin Bieber refuses to make excuses! A movie actor owns the film character failures too!
Justin Bieber watches the crowd file out in silence. Michael Jordan prefers not to look. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
112-96 (W)
And we're underway! Goku touches the Wilson first! This franchise guy looks eager!
Justin Bieber hits the pull-up jumper! The elevation of a movie actor lifting the script binder!
Michael Jordan, this tree of a man, locks down the attacker! A killer instinct on the defensive end!
Michael Jordan, this mountain of a man, hits the cutter perfectly! Insane court vision right on time!
Michael Jordan, this tower, seals the defender for position! Fundamentals!
Break! Michael Jordan rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Confession: Michael Jordan tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Michael Jordan, this towering presence, elevates for a monster half-court heave!
The fans sense it coming! The energy is building as Toni Kukoč gets hot!
Goku sets the perfect screen! Built like a farmer who doesn't skip leg day!
Goku's transformation from farmer to athlete is this conference classic's best story!
Justin Bieber, this undersized dog, takes the final bow! A salute to the fans! Dominant display!
Goku and Michael Jordan lap the court arm in arm, singing. Off-key. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
117-85 (W)
Michael Jordan, this tree of a man, takes the court! The Playoff atmosphere is electric!
Toni Kukoč, this long boy, overpowers for a hook shot! Size matters!
Toni Kukoč lets fly and dishes! Gorgeous feed from the right corner! Unreal swagger!
Goku, this multi-time All-Star, drops a thunderous slam in the paint! Pure artistry!
Goku with the defensive masterclass! A farmer teaching everyone a lesson!
Halftime! Kobe Bryant is limping slightly heading off the court. Rumor has it Kobe Bryant tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Justin Bieber tallies another one! This movie actor keeps racking them up!
Toni Kukoč, this up-and-coming baller, still going full throttle! No mercy tonight!
Toni Kukoč penetrates and bumps into the mascot on the sideline! Entertainment!
Goku flexes like they just finished cultivating the stubborn soil! What a moment!
That's the game! Toni Kukoč finishes with a monster performance! This next-level player victorious!
Justin Bieber pretends to faint from happiness. Michael Jordan pretends to call 911. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
112-95 (W)
Justin Bieber dishes into position! This basketball god not wasting any time!
Goku with the step-back thunderous slam! Creating space like a farmer with the seed dibber!
This franchise cornerstone Michael Jordan comes up with a massive steal! Transition time!
Justin Bieber creates the opportunity! Building something special tonight!
Toni Kukoč sets the screen at the perfect angle! This league veteran cerebral play!
Halftime whistle. Kobe Bryant high-fives his teammates on the way out. Staff confession: Kobe Bryant is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
This certified GOAT candidate Kobe Bryant converts in transition! An alley-oop right on cue!
Goku, this big-name player, plays to the crowd! A crowd fully behind them is contagious!
Goku, this smooth operator, holds the team together with ridiculous creativity! Captain!
From humble the film character beginnings, Justin Bieber rises at the gym!
Justin Bieber owns the night! Owner of the gymnasium and the film character alike!
Justin Bieber jumps so high from joy he nearly touches the scoreboard. Almost. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
109-94 (W)
Goku huddles with the team! Huddling up, the farmer strategizes!
A tear drop from Kobe Bryant! That's natural-born leadership at the highest level!
Justin Bieber reads the play and picks off the pass! Transition opportunity!
This hooper's hooper Toni Kukoč leads the fast break and dishes! Easy bucket off the assist!
Michael Jordan, this walking skyscraper, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!
The players leave the court. Michael Jordan clings to the tunnel railing. Did you know Michael Jordan entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
What a play by Goku! A fadeaway jumper from the right corner! This established star is cooking!
Justin Bieber, this scrappy guard, gestures for more noise! The crowd goes nuts!
Toni Kukoč, this player making noise, rotates on defense! Eyes in the back of the head team commitment!
Kobe Bryant, this 7-footer, sets the tone with nerves of steel! Leader!
Kobe Bryant shoots in triumph! The final buzzer sounds! That's a W!
Michael Jordan moonwalks across the hardwood. Justin Bieber attempts the worm. One of them pulls it off. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
88-104 (L)
Goku takes off onto the floor! The crowd roars for this top-tier talent!
Toni Kukoč, this up-and-coming baller, with the shot-clock heave! No good in transition!
Kobe Bryant coughs up the Wilson! Defense that's basically a suggestion strikes again at the top of the key!
Toni Kukoč gets screened out of the play! This solid pro lost in traffic!
Goku scores the go-ahead! A farmer who always finishes the job on time!
Halftime! Toni Kukoč checks his stats on the board and winces. Did you know Toni Kukoč once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Kobe Bryant, this giant, sits down hard on the bench! Lack of consistency written all over his face!
This global icon Kobe Bryant misses the mark! A buzzer beater goes begging from mid-range!
Justin Bieber exploits the soft spot in the left wing! Soft as the film character under the script binder!
This player making noise Toni Kukoč can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
Toni Kukoč walks off in silence. This player making noise gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Justin Bieber's eyes are glassy. Michael Jordan mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. Thanks for watching this game. And now: 'Deal or No Deal: Office Fridge Edition.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
110-97 (W)
Goku gets the starting nod! A farmer starting with the seed dibber confidence!
This basketball god Justin Bieber erupts for a fadeaway jumper! The floodgates are open!
Toni Kukoč with the chase-down crucial offensive board! What athleticism!
Toni Kukoč, this mammoth, with the pocket pass! Freakish explosiveness in tight spaces!
This guy everybody knows Goku recognizes the over-help and punishes it!
Break. Justin Bieber collapses next to the vending machine. Small detail: Justin Bieber whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
Goku puts it through! The reliability of a farmer with the stubborn soil!
The crowd gasps at Justin Bieber's move! Agility worthy of a movie actor!
Justin Bieber tips the rebound to a teammate! Selfless play from this movie actor!
Michael Jordan fires away with the fire of a thousand suns! He's on fire!
Toni Kukoč daps up the opponent! Respect from this next-level player after the battle!
Goku rips the net off the rim. Justin Bieber wraps it around his neck like a scarf. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
94-107 (L)
Justin Bieber, this undersized dog, announced to huge cheers! A standing ovation!
Kobe Bryant explodes and fires but misses everything! Ego the size of Texas tonight!
Goku loses the damn ball in traffic! This multi-time All-Star can't afford that!
Michael Jordan loses the screen battle! Sometimes predictable game around the picks!
Goku attacks in the paint and finishes with a reverse layup! Too good!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Kobe Bryant picks up the pace. The staff told me Kobe Bryant sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
This potential GOAT Kobe Bryant can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Michael Jordan air-mails a fadeaway jumper from the left corner! Way off for this living legend!
Goku uses their size out there! The farmer has a built-in advantage!
Justin Bieber is gassed! More tired than after a full day of portraying the film character!
This hall-of-fame lock Michael Jordan stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this hall-of-fame lock wanted.
Justin Bieber refuses San Antonio Skyscrapers's handshake. Michael Jordan offers a limp one with just his fingertips. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
91-112 (L)
Tip-off! Kobe Bryant gets us started! Let's go!
Toni Kukoč launches a thunderous slam and... Airball! Sometimes predictable game at its peak!
Toni Kukoč, this absolute unit, gets called for the carry! Sometimes predictable game in ball-handling!
Kobe Bryant gambles for the steal and pays the price! Tendency to rush!
Justin Bieber with an incredible bucket in the paint! Standing ovation!
Halftime. Toni Kukoč throws his towel on the floor walking in. I've been told Toni Kukoč always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
Justin Bieber glares at the scoreboard! This first-ballot legend not happy with the situation!
Toni Kukoč with the off-balance layup! This up-and-coming baller couldn't set the feet!
Michael Jordan spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
This basketball god Michael Jordan calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Lack of consistency taking its toll!
Goku takes the loss hard! Hard as the stubborn soil on a bad farmer day!
Michael Jordan collapses into the first available chair. Justin Bieber stays standing, eyes glazed over. Did you know that Justin Bieber practices movie actor on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. And now, a brand new episode of 'Desperately Seeking My Cat.' Good night, everyone.
Ni ends the season #5 with a 10W-5L record. Season MVP: Toni Kukoč.
Season Journal
Kill the cameras, turn off your phones, and shut your mouths because what we're about to witness tonight only happens once in a generation. We're in the belly of an arena where the floor trembles under the bass, where the Jumbotron spits fire, where 20,000 lunatics are screaming their heads off before the tip-off even happens. The franchise walking onto this court isn't a basketball club, it's a war machine forged in the pain of defeat and the madness of impossible comebacks. Every player here has gladiator blood in his veins and an ego size of Texas. Ladies and gentlemen... Ni!
There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's Toni Kukoč. Standing at 207 cm, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face.
You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance.
Hold on tight because the next name is going to make you spit out your beer: Goku. Profession? Farmer. Yeah. The coach saw him on TV, called his agent (who didn't exist), and offered him a ten-day contract "to see." The guy showed up with seed dibber, a ham sandwich, and bulletproof enthusiasm. At his first practice, he attempted a dunk and ended up hanging from the net like a cat stuck in a tree. The fire department came. Twice. But he's got heart, the man, and apparently the precision he puts into stubborn soil could translate to mid-range shooting. We believe. Well, the coach believes. The rest of us broke out the popcorn.
The budget here is absolutely insane, we're talking stratosphere money. This is Warriors and Suns territory. These guys are so loaded they've triggered the Second Apron: the league literally forbids them from signing free agents or combining salaries in trades. They have zero flexibility, handcuffed by their own damn wealth. It's "championship or crash and burn," no in-between.
Ni ends the season #5 with a 10W-5L record. Season MVP: Toni Kukoč.
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