My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 8 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Houston Blast-Off | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | My Team | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Stop. Everybody shut up. You feel that? That smell of freshly waxed hardwood, brand-new kicks, and electric tension hanging in the air? That's the smell of a night that's going down in the history books. We're in a building where every seat is taken, every eye is locked on the tunnel where a team that has thrilled generations is about to emerge. Championships, heartbreaks, legendary comebacks, midnight trades that shifted the entire balance of the league... This franchise is a damn novel all by itself. And tonight, we're starting the next chapter. The team with no name, baby! Okay, let's talk about the boss. Because on this team, there's one alpha, and everybody knows it. Joel Embiid. Standing at 213 cm, a body built for basketball, and a basketball IQ that borders on indecent. When this man catches the rock, defenders back up instinctively, it's a survival reflex. And they're right, because this guy can punish you from everywhere: from three, in the post, in transition, from the free throw line with his eyes closed. He's a damn 6'8" Swiss Army knife and he cuts in every direction. I asked a former player what it felt like to guard him. He looked at me with hollow eyes and said: "It's like trying to catch smoke." Smoke, my friends. You think you've got him, you close your hands, and there's nothing there. He's already on the other side of the court drilling a three in your face with a little smirk. The kind of player who makes you want to quit basketball and open a bakery, because at least bread doesn't disappear when you try to touch it. Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Abraham Lincoln. A farmer in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles seed dibber better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Abraham Lincoln has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat stubborn soil and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning. The budget is like the guy who goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, orders one entree and splits the dessert. It's not poverty, but it's not the high life either. They've got a decent roster, nobody's complaining, but nobody's saying "damn, what a squad" either. Solid without being spectacular. The kind of team that beats you on a Tuesday and you've forgotten about them by Wednesday morning. But underestimate them and they'll make you pay.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
103-120 (L)
Sonic the Hedgehog, this do-it-all player, takes the court! The hostile crowd is electric!
Christian Pulisic, this top-tier talent, comes up empty! A buzzer-beater off target at half court!
This living legend Abraham Lincoln commits the offensive foul! Turnover driving to the hoop!
Chewbacca gets screened out! Stuck behind the notched blade like it's a wall!
This franchise guy Sonic the Hedgehog goes to work from way beyond the arc! A pull-up jumper drops beautifully!
Heading in. Abraham Lincoln's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. Fun fact: Abraham Lincoln was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
Joel Embiid, this well-respected player, barks at the teammate! Sometimes predictable game taking over!
This headliner Sonic the Hedgehog misses the mark! A layup goes begging under the basket!
Sonic the Hedgehog, this solid build, seals the defender for position! Fundamentals!
Abraham Lincoln cramps up! Muscles tight from the seed dibber and the basketball double duty!
Joel Embiid reflects on what could have been. Tendency to force bad shots the difference tonight.
Sonic the Hedgehog unclasps his chain and squeezes it in his fist. Christian Pulisic runs a hand down his face. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Sonic the Hedgehog's name. Forgive me. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
103-93 (W)
This player on the come-up Chewbacca gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Abraham Lincoln scores in transition! Fast as a farmer grabbing the seed dibber!
Christian Pulisic forces the bad shot! Their football boots intimidation factor!
This established player Chewbacca exploits the gap! Dime to the corner for a layup!
Joel Embiid, this 7-footer, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!
Coach calls everyone back. Abraham Lincoln drags his feet toward the tunnel. The staff told me Abraham Lincoln sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Christian Pulisic with a pull-up jumper on the break! Running like they're late for work!
Standing ovation for Christian Pulisic! The den salutes the association football player and their their football boots!
Chewbacca takes the blame for the mistake! This hooper's hooper protecting teammates!
What a journey for Christian Pulisic! From the bench to the spotlight! You love to see it!
Christian Pulisic, this pocket rocket, salutes the faithful! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! What a night!
Abraham Lincoln makes the phone sign toward the opposing bench. Chewbacca makes the 'call us' gesture. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
117-105 (W)
Tip-off! Joel Embiid gets us started! Let's go!
Abraham Lincoln catches fire! And it's a hook shot! Scary good handles taking over!
Joel Embiid draws the offensive foul! Smart play, great positioning!
Chewbacca whips it cross-court! Covering distance with the notched blade range!
Abraham Lincoln takes off the ball out of the trap! Freakish explosiveness under pressure!
Halftime. Christian Pulisic wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Fun fact: Christian Pulisic tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Christian Pulisic with the smooth free throw! This world-class player making it look easy!
Abraham Lincoln, this combo guard, commands a roaring arena! The arena belongs to this once-in-a-lifetime player!
Chewbacca runs the play to perfection! Perfection of conquering the contested ground!
Christian Pulisic bridges two worlds: the winning goal and a devastating dunk, bound by passion!
Joel Embiid daps up the opponent! Respect from this seasoned vet after the battle!
Abraham Lincoln and Joel Embiid lap the court arm in arm, singing. Off-key. Tonight I learned Abraham Lincoln used to be a farmer before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
91-133 (L)
Joel Embiid takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Joel Embiid, this towering presence, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this seasoned vet!
Joel Embiid posts up into a trap! Tendency to force bad shots when reading the defense!
Joel Embiid turns the head and loses the man! This hooper's hooper napping defensively!
Sonic the Hedgehog slams the damn ball in frustration! Lack of consistency on full display!
Halftime! Sonic the Hedgehog looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Anecdote: Sonic the Hedgehog threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
Abraham Lincoln lets fly the basketball right into the defender's hands! Sometimes predictable game!
This respected competitor Joel Embiid can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
Stolen from Christian Pulisic! An association football player who let it slip through their fingers!
Sonic the Hedgehog, this smooth operator, throws the hands up! Exasperated facing the rim!
Sonic the Hedgehog crosses over past the media. This franchise guy not in the mood to talk.
Joel Embiid unclasps his chain and squeezes it in his fist. Christian Pulisic runs a hand down his face. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Joel Embiid's name. Forgive me. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
117-107 (W)
Sonic the Hedgehog, this do-it-all player, sets the tone immediately! An off-the-charts basketball IQ from the jump!
Christian Pulisic crosses over and fires a reverse layup! This little firecracker lighting it up!
Abraham Lincoln, this basketball god, switches seamlessly and locks up! Pure God-given talent shining through!
Joel Embiid, this giant, hits the cutter perfectly! That dawg mentality right on time!
Christian Pulisic sets the screen with precision worthy of their football boots! Tactical genius!
Well-deserved break. Abraham Lincoln looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Did you know? Abraham Lincoln launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
Joel Embiid converts driving to the hoop! A euro-step with trademark freakish explosiveness!
Joel Embiid penetrates and the noise is deafening! An electric crowd! Wow!
Sonic the Hedgehog lets fly the damn ball with patience! This world-class player trusting the system!
The stadium knows it! Abraham Lincoln is special! This basketball god writing legacy!
Final buzzer! Sonic the Hedgehog is the hero! This franchise guy with a game for the ages!
Christian Pulisic and Chewbacca share a 30-second hug. Abraham Lincoln wants in. Gets pushed away. Your commentator survived one game, four coffees, and a sandwich of questionable date. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
111-94 (W)
The game begins and Joel Embiid is ready! You can see an unmatched feel for the game written all over his face!
Chewbacca muscles through for a finger roll! The strength of a warrior moving the contested ground!
Chewbacca a double team at the critical moment! Ridiculous creativity right on cue!
Abraham Lincoln, this combo guard, finds the rolling big man! A sky hook off the assist!
Joel Embiid, this mountain of a man, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!
Both teams head to the locker room. Chewbacca wipes his forehead with his jersey. Anecdote: Chewbacca lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Christian Pulisic converts the and-one! Tough as scoring the winning goal all day!
Christian Pulisic points to their association football player crew in the nose-bleeds! The winning goal family!
Sonic the Hedgehog finds the open teammate! This multi-time All-Star making everyone better!
Sonic the Hedgehog attacks like a player possessed! Silky smooth technique unleashed!
Joel Embiid steps back in triumph! The final buzzer sounds! That's a W!
Chewbacca and Sonic the Hedgehog pound their chests like gorillas. The coach pretends not to know them. I learned that Chewbacca's father was a farmer. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
92-133 (L)
Sonic the Hedgehog, this do-it-all player, is introduced and the arena explodes! This franchise guy is in the building!
Sonic the Hedgehog forces up a buzzer beater over the defense! Ego the size of Texas! Bad decision!
Abraham Lincoln with the bad read! Misreading the play like misreading the stubborn soil!
Abraham Lincoln beaten off the dribble! Quicker than the stubborn soil slipping from a farmer!
Joel Embiid steps back and kicks the stanchion! This up-and-coming baller losing composure!
The players leave the court. Christian Pulisic clings to the tunnel railing. Little secret: Christian Pulisic has a secret TikTok account with 12 followers. Posts cooking tutorials. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
Joel Embiid, this long boy, wastes a golden chance with a wild tear drop!
Christian Pulisic is clearly fatigued! The allotted time of this plus the allotted time of scoring the winning goal!
Christian Pulisic with the travel! Footwork confusion worthy of a lost association football player!
Christian Pulisic waves off the play! The authority of an association football player in that gesture!
Christian Pulisic vows to come back stronger! Stronger than their football boots reinforced with the winning goal!
Joel Embiid whispers 'this can't be real' under his breath. Christian Pulisic nods without conviction. Did you know that Christian Pulisic practices farmer on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. And now, a brand new episode of 'Desperately Seeking My Cat.' Good night, everyone.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
104-106 (L)
Christian Pulisic starts in the center! Playing the center way an association football player plays with their football boots!
Abraham Lincoln with the crafty floater! Next-level basketball IQ on display!
Abraham Lincoln can't stay in front! Cultivating the stubborn soil doesn't build lateral quickness!
Abraham Lincoln can't convert! The farmer's touch with the stubborn soil deserted them!
Abraham Lincoln steals and scores! This absolute legend cutting the gap from mid-range!
End of the first act. Christian Pulisic is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Fun fact: Christian Pulisic is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
Chewbacca misfires on the potential dagger! This dude putting the league on notice lets them off the hook!
This well-respected player Joel Embiid can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Tears in the crowd as Chewbacca, the humble warrior, delivers on the decisive possession!
This next-level player Joel Embiid misses the free throws! Injury-prone body at the line!
Sonic the Hedgehog had the chances but couldn't convert. This reliable star left wanting.
Abraham Lincoln lets out a nervous laugh that sends chills down your spine. Chewbacca decides not to comment. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
92-120 (L)
Christian Pulisic opens with a devastating dunk! This certified bucket making an early statement!
This seasoned vet Joel Embiid rattles it out! So close yet so far at the top of the key!
Christian Pulisic, this undersized spark plug, gets stripped from downtown! Defense that's basically a suggestion exposed!
Chewbacca gets burned on the switch! Hotter than a warrior's worst day on the job!
An alley-oop by Joel Embiid! The crowd erupts! Pure God-given talent personified!
Off to the locker room. Christian Pulisic has already drained two water bottles. I've been told Christian Pulisic always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Christian Pulisic slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than an association football player hits the workbench!
Chewbacca sends it long! Too much power, not enough finesse from this warrior!
Christian Pulisic baits the defender! Got them hook, line, and sinker!
Chewbacca stumbles on the play! Stumbling like a warrior over the contested ground!
Christian Pulisic refuses to make excuses! An association football player owns the winning goal failures too!
Abraham Lincoln turns back to look at the court one last time. Sonic the Hedgehog doesn't turn around. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
106-99 (W)
Sonic the Hedgehog fires up the crowd to open the game! This big-name player starting strong!
Chewbacca scores from the elbow! Perfect angle, the warrior knows geometry!
Chewbacca strips the ball cleanly! Veteran move right there!
Christian Pulisic delivers in transition! Fast delivery, like an association football player with their football boots!
This franchise guy Christian Pulisic adjusts at halftime and comes out sharp! Adaptation!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Joel Embiid picks up the pace. Rumor has it Joel Embiid does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Christian Pulisic with the step-back bank shot! Creating space like an association football player with their football boots!
Confetti falls as Abraham Lincoln exits! A farmer's grand finale on the arena!
Sonic the Hedgehog, this do-it-all player, holds the team together with silky smooth technique! Captain!
This is the Sonic Hedgehog game! This elite player taking over in the first quarter!
Christian Pulisic wraps up with a double-double! Double duty: their football boots and the leather!
Christian Pulisic runs to the coach and lifts the coach up. Not thrilled but smiles anyway. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
95-106 (L)
Sonic the Hedgehog pulls up into position! This big-name player not wasting any time!
This player on the come-up Joel Embiid shanks a scoop layup at half court! That's uncharacteristic!
This reliable star Sonic the Hedgehog with turnover number points! Injury-prone body is piling up!
Sonic the Hedgehog gives up the back door! Injury-prone body when overplaying!
Chewbacca handles the Wilson like the notched blade. A catch-and-shoot triple from downtown! The precision of a warrior!
Well-deserved break. Abraham Lincoln looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Anecdote: Abraham Lincoln once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Abraham Lincoln is visibly upset! Upset as a farmer when the stubborn soil goes sideways!
Sonic the Hedgehog forces a bad off-balance shot! This All-Star caliber talent needs to trust teammates!
Abraham Lincoln controls the glass! Board work as precise as a day job with the seed dibber!
Chewbacca jogs instead of sprints! Conserving energy for conquering the contested ground tomorrow!
This legit talent Joel Embiid stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this legit talent wanted.
Chewbacca isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Christian Pulisic tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. I learned tonight that Chewbacca used to be a farmer. That explains the unique running style. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
80-113 (L)
Abraham Lincoln locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a farmer who means business!
Christian Pulisic, this scrappy guard, loses the handle and the opportunity! Hot head!
Joel Embiid coughs up the damn ball! Limited stamina strikes again on the low block!
Christian Pulisic gets crossed over! This headliner left frozen at half court!
Chewbacca mouths off and picks up a T! Lack of consistency taking over!
Both teams head in. Joel Embiid has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Physio's confession: Joel Embiid purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
Sonic the Hedgehog penetrates but the shot rims out! Limited stamina rears its ugly head!
Sonic the Hedgehog is running on pure willpower! This top-tier talent refusing to quit!
Chewbacca loses the leather! A warrior would never be this careless!
Christian Pulisic mouths off at after a timeout! An association football player venting about the winning goal!
This reliable star Sonic the Hedgehog tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Sonic the Hedgehog's complexion is grey. Chewbacca's is red. Defeat comes in different colors. I learned tonight that Sonic the Hedgehog used to be a farmer. That explains the unique running style. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
88-132 (L)
And we're underway! Sonic the Hedgehog touches the damn ball first! This guy everybody knows looks eager!
Abraham Lincoln misfires! The farmer's precision with the stubborn soil is nowhere to be found!
This legit talent Chewbacca with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
Joel Embiid, this absolute unit, gets exploited in the switch! Tendency to rush exposed in the mismatch!
Sonic the Hedgehog, this headliner, refuses to high-five! Limited stamina hurting the chemistry!
Players head to the locker room. Sonic the Hedgehog has tape on three fingers. Intel: Sonic the Hedgehog refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
Sonic the Hedgehog, this all-around player, gets the look but can't convert facing the rim!
Joel Embiid pulls up but can't sustain the effort! Lack of consistency emptying the tank!
Sonic the Hedgehog with the lazy pass! Heavy feet leading to easy points!
Christian Pulisic, this compact dynamo, pounds the scorer's table! Tendency to rush on full display!
This dude putting the league on notice Joel Embiid shakes hands and moves on. In the end, occasional mental lapses proved costly.
Joel Embiid scratches the back of his neck nervously. Chewbacca has the look of someone who has seen things. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Chewbacca. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
91-109 (L)
Christian Pulisic checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Chewbacca shoots an air ball in a boiling cauldron! A warrior lost in the noise!
Chewbacca throws it out of bounds! Like launching the notched blade into the void!
Sonic the Hedgehog, this do-it-all player, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over injury-prone body!
A free throw! Sonic the Hedgehog cannot be stopped tonight! This big-name player is locked in!
Halftime. Christian Pulisic wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Little secret: Christian Pulisic listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
Joel Embiid, this guy with a proven track record, with the frustrated foul! Lack of consistency in tough moments!
A double-clutch layup from Joel Embiid sails wide! This name that's buzzing needs to regroup!
Christian Pulisic exploits the soft spot in the paint! Soft as the winning goal under their football boots!
This dude putting the league on notice Chewbacca has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
Chewbacca shakes hands through the pain! A warrior who respects the notched blade and the game!
Sonic the Hedgehog refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. Chewbacca watches it and immediately regrets it. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
84-109 (L)
Christian Pulisic comes out hot! Heated up and ready, the association football player means business!
Christian Pulisic, this lightning-quick little man, draws the foul but can't capitalize! Hot head!
Sonic the Hedgehog throws it into the stands! What was that from this max-contract guy!
This headliner Sonic the Hedgehog can't recover! Scored on at the top of the key! Tendency to force bad shots!
Christian Pulisic drains a bank shot from along the baseline! Textbook next-level basketball IQ!
Break! Joel Embiid grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Confession: Joel Embiid tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Chewbacca tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the warrior will bounce back!
Abraham Lincoln misses! Even a farmer can't fix that shot!
Christian Pulisic shoots into the right spacing! A gym-rat work ethic and elite court awareness!
Abraham Lincoln barely gets back on defense! Moving like a farmer on a Friday afternoon!
Joel Embiid, this oversized freak, trudges off the hardwood. Lessons to take from this one.
Abraham Lincoln replays the score in his head on a loop. Chewbacca tries to think about something else. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
My Team finishes #12 (5W-10L). Better luck next season! MVP: Joel Embiid.
Season Journal
Stop. Everybody shut up. You feel that? That smell of freshly waxed hardwood, brand-new kicks, and electric tension hanging in the air? That's the smell of a night that's going down in the history books. We're in a building where every seat is taken, every eye is locked on the tunnel where a team that has thrilled generations is about to emerge. Championships, heartbreaks, legendary comebacks, midnight trades that shifted the entire balance of the league... This franchise is a damn novel all by itself. And tonight, we're starting the next chapter. The team with no name, baby!
Okay, let's talk about the boss. Because on this team, there's one alpha, and everybody knows it. Joel Embiid. Standing at 213 cm, a body built for basketball, and a basketball IQ that borders on indecent. When this man catches the rock, defenders back up instinctively, it's a survival reflex. And they're right, because this guy can punish you from everywhere: from three, in the post, in transition, from the free throw line with his eyes closed. He's a damn 6'8" Swiss Army knife and he cuts in every direction.
I asked a former player what it felt like to guard him. He looked at me with hollow eyes and said: "It's like trying to catch smoke." Smoke, my friends. You think you've got him, you close your hands, and there's nothing there. He's already on the other side of the court drilling a three in your face with a little smirk. The kind of player who makes you want to quit basketball and open a bakery, because at least bread doesn't disappear when you try to touch it.
Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Abraham Lincoln. A farmer in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles seed dibber better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Abraham Lincoln has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat stubborn soil and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning.
The budget is like the guy who goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, orders one entree and splits the dessert. It's not poverty, but it's not the high life either. They've got a decent roster, nobody's complaining, but nobody's saying "damn, what a squad" either. Solid without being spectacular. The kind of team that beats you on a Tuesday and you've forgotten about them by Wednesday morning. But underestimate them and they'll make you pay.
My Team finishes #12 (5W-10L). Better luck next season! MVP: Joel Embiid.
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