miami , ngs — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | miami , ngs | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Miami Heart-Attack | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Phoenix No-Defense | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Buckle up, pull your visor down, and clench everything you've got because tonight we are NOT talking about some pickup game at the park. Hell no. We're talking about an arena shaking so hard the neighbors called the cops three times before tip-off. We're talking about a franchise built on decades of sweat, tears, heart-stopping buzzer-beaters, and Draft picks so bold that half the league thought they'd lost their minds. And yet, here they are, back and hungrier than ever. Ladies and gentlemen... Miami , ngs! Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. Kobe Bryant. Just the name sends chills through the building. Standing at 198 cm, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face. You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance. Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Druski. A comedian in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles their killer timing better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Druski has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the stunned audience and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning. This team's budget is the GDP of a small country. Seriously, there are nations at the UN moving less cash than this roster. The Second Apron is blown to smithereens, the repeater tax bleeds the owner dry with every signature, and the league watches them with a mix of disgust and fascination. But the owner doesn't care. He has a dream, and that dream is a championship banner hanging from the rafters of this arena. Everything else, the penalties, the sacrificed Draft picks, the zero flexibility, that's just details. Damn details.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
80-125 (L)
Kobe Bryant, this once-in-a-lifetime player, embraces the palpable tension! Game on!
Brick! Kobe Bryant misfires at half court! Injury-prone body at the worst time!
Druski with the travel! Footwork confusion worthy of a lost comedian!
Druski loses their assignment! Like losing their killer timing in the workshop!
Kobe Bryant storms to the bench! This generational talent is visibly upset!
Well-deserved break. Kobe Bryant looks like someone who just ran a marathon. They say Kobe Bryant has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
James Harden dunks the Spalding into the front rim! That's frustrating for this top-tier talent!
Cooper Flagg, this walking skyscraper, is drenched in sweat! Emptying the tank!
James Harden, this mountain of a man, gets the ball poked away! Occasional mental lapses when protecting the Wilson!
Druski gets a technical for complaining! Sometimes predictable game on full display!
James Harden had the chances but couldn't convert. This jersey-selling name left wanting.
Cooper Flagg unclasps his chain and squeezes it in his fist. Druski runs a hand down his face. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
122-77 (W)
Druski steps onto the palace of hoops! From roasting the stunned audience to this, game time!
A step-back three by James Harden! The crowd erupts! Scary good handles personified!
James Harden, this titan, with the pocket pass! Eyes in the back of the head in tight spaces!
This potential GOAT Kobe Bryant goes to work at half court! An off-balance shot drops beautifully!
James Harden, this All-Star caliber talent, walls up from way beyond the arc! Impenetrable defense!
Halftime whistle. Cooper Flagg has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Did you know? Cooper Flagg launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. Second half! The crowd is on its feet, and so are the players.
A thunderous slam from Stephen Curry! This big-name player is putting on a show tonight!
James Harden, this beanpole, makes it look like practice! Total domination!
This seasoned vet Cooper Flagg trash talks then immediately misses! Karma!
Cooper Flagg, this colossus, gets the crowd on their feet! A victory dance! Electric!
It's over! Stephen Curry delivers the goods! This bonafide star walks off a winner!
James Harden and Kobe Bryant cradle the game ball like a baby. Cooper Flagg takes a photo. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
115-95 (W)
Kobe Bryant opens with a hook shot! This franchise cornerstone making an early statement!
James Harden with the decisive devastating dunk! An off-the-charts basketball IQ when it matters most!
Druski strips the ball cleanly! Veteran move right there!
James Harden penetrates and dishes! Gorgeous feed facing the rim! That dawg mentality!
Kobe Bryant explodes the ball out of the trap! Silky smooth technique under pressure!
The players head in. Stephen Curry slips on the wet tunnel floor. They say Stephen Curry has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
James Harden scores with pure God-given talent. A two-handed slam driving to the hoop! Too smooth!
The crowd waves their killer timing replicas! Druski has started a movement!
Cooper Flagg, this walking skyscraper, boxes out for the teammate! This league veteran doing the dirty work!
This franchise guy James Harden turns adversity into fuel! A moment of pure grace energy!
Final buzzer! Kobe Bryant is the hero! This absolute legend with a game for the ages!
Kobe Bryant hits a dab in 2026. James Harden does an ironic dab. Stephen Curry has no idea what that is. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
119-90 (W)
James Harden, this titan, announced to huge cheers! A Finals-like atmosphere!
James Harden converts a tough fadeaway jumper along the baseline! Skill level: elite!
Kobe Bryant reads the play and picks off the pass! Transition opportunity!
James Harden with the skip pass! Assist leads to an open free throw!
Druski manipulates the defense! Manipulation worthy of their killer timing on the stunned audience!
Back in the locker room, James Harden sits down and stares at the ceiling. Rumor has it James Harden talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
Stephen Curry, this jersey-selling name, unleashes a devastating dunk from the right corner! Bang!
The PA announcer can't pronounce Druski's their killer timing! Comedy at the den!
This league veteran Cooper Flagg swings the Wilson around! Insane court vision ball movement!
Remember this moment! Stephen Curry is making history with an off-balance shot!
Druski daps up the opposition! Class act, on and off the court!
Druski rips off his jersey and launches it into the crowd. Cooper Flagg does the same. The coach rolls his eyes. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
110-104 (W)
This elite player James Harden comes out firing! A scoop layup in the first minute!
Druski with a step-back three on the break! Running like they're late for work!
This well-respected player Cooper Flagg with a ball recovery from mid-range! Intimidating!
Druski dishes and finds the trailer for an off-balance shot! Great awareness!
Stephen Curry reads the defense perfectly! Ridiculous creativity and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Break time. Stephen Curry bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. I've been told Stephen Curry once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
Druski punishes the defense! A comedian punishing the stunned audience with precision!
Druski gets an incredible energy every time they step on the gymnasium! The comedian aura!
Cooper Flagg finds the open teammate! This hooper's hooper making everyone better!
This game belongs to Cooper Flagg! This player making noise stamping authority from mid-range!
Cooper Flagg rises up to the crowd! A salute to the fans! This established player gave everything!
Stephen Curry jumps into James Harden's arms without warning. They both go down. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
96-99 (L)
This max-contract guy Stephen Curry comes out aggressive! Opens with a tear drop from the left corner!
This household name Kobe Bryant finishes with authority! A hook shot from the right corner!
Kobe Bryant gets burned on the drive! Limited stamina in lateral movement!
Druski goes to work but the shot rims out! Limited stamina rears its ugly head!
Stephen Curry dunks and scores! The comeback is on! This jersey-selling name believing!
That's a cut. Stephen Curry stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Fun fact: Stephen Curry is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Druski misses both free throws! A comedian failing the stunned audience inspection, twice!
James Harden glares at the scoreboard! This world-class player not happy with the situation!
The legend of Cooper Flagg grows! This league veteran adding another chapter in the paint!
Stephen Curry can't convert in the second half! This bonafide star shrinks in the moment!
Cooper Flagg reflects on what could have been. Sometimes predictable game the difference tonight.
James Harden has bags under his eyes that weren't there before the game. Cooper Flagg has aged ten years in forty minutes. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
109-113 (L)
Kobe Bryant posts up with energy from the opening whistle! This all-time great locked in!
A step-back three by Kobe Bryant from way beyond the arc! An off-the-charts basketball IQ in every fiber!
This well-respected player Cooper Flagg fouls reaching in! Defense that's basically a suggestion on defense!
This top-tier talent James Harden rattles it out! So close yet so far on the low block!
Druski completes the comeback! Complete as a comedian completing the stunned audience!
Halftime whistle. James Harden has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Bus driver's confession: James Harden raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
James Harden misfires on the potential dagger! This bonafide star lets them off the hook!
Cooper Flagg slams the orange in frustration! Injury-prone body on full display!
Kobe Bryant, this basketball god, delivers a moment of pure grace! Wisdom and poise!
This established star Stephen Curry gets the look but can't convert! Lack of consistency at the worst time!
This all-time great Kobe Bryant congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this all-time great.
Stephen Curry stares at the floor while James Harden mutters something inaudible under his breath. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
104-102 (W)
This player on the come-up Cooper Flagg gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Cooper Flagg slides the feet perfectly and forces a miss! Unreal swagger in every step!
James Harden, this tree of a man, gets the look in transition but the lid's on the rim!
Cooper Flagg with an incredible and-one from downtown! Standing ovation!
Kobe Bryant drives with purpose every possession! This hall-of-fame lock chess master!
Cut! Halftime. Druski's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Anecdote: Druski slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Druski with ice in their veins! Cool as a comedian when everything's on the line!
James Harden, this mountain of a man, swats it into the third row! A flawless defensive rotation!
This guy with a proven track record Cooper Flagg turns the hostile crowd into stunned silence!
Druski, this tweener, scores the go-ahead! A floater! Heart of a champion!
This hooper's hooper Cooper Flagg is all smiles! The stats back up the brilliance!
Cooper Flagg and Stephen Curry pound their chests like gorillas. The coach pretends not to know them. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
98-125 (L)
And we're underway! James Harden touches the basketball first! This multi-time All-Star looks eager!
James Harden takes a tough fadeaway jumper and it doesn't go! Lack of consistency in shot selection!
This well-respected player Cooper Flagg with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
This jersey-selling name James Harden gives up the offensive rebound! Lack of consistency when boxing out!
Cooper Flagg drives past the defense for a bank shot! Size advantage from this this giant!
Halftime. Kobe Bryant glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Staff confession: Kobe Bryant is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Cooper Flagg, this big fella, waves off the play call! Tendency to rush hurting the team!
A thunderous slam by James Harden off the pick and roll is way off! Tough night for this top-tier talent!
Cooper Flagg slows the pace when the team needs it! This next-level player tempo control!
Druski gets the cramp timeout! Cramping from roasting the stunned audience and hooping!
Kobe Bryant walks off in silence. This hall-of-fame lock gave it all but it wasn't enough.
James Harden hurls his water bottle at the wall. Stephen Curry flinches but doesn't react. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
85-118 (L)
Kobe Bryant, this once-in-a-lifetime player, draws first blood! An alley-oop to start!
Cooper Flagg gets a clean look but tendency to force bad shots costs the bucket!
Cooper Flagg throws it into the stands! What was that from this player making noise!
James Harden overcommits and gets beat! Tendency to rush when reading the play!
Cooper Flagg, this titan, throws the hands up! Exasperated in transition!
Break time. Kobe Bryant bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Little secret: Kobe Bryant watches cat videos between quarters. Says it's relaxing. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
James Harden with a wild attempt! This headliner not finding the range tonight!
Cooper Flagg is visibly tired! This dude putting the league on notice needs a timeout badly!
Kobe Bryant passes to nobody! This guy with rings on every finger with a head-scratching decision!
This multi-time All-Star James Harden fouls hard out of frustration! Tendency to rush showing!
Stephen Curry, this do-it-all player, trudges off the field house. Lessons to take from this one.
James Harden watches the crowd file out in silence. Kobe Bryant prefers not to look. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. Thanks for watching. Coming up: '48 Hours: The Secret Life of Roundabouts.' Essential viewing.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
90-101 (L)
Druski looks dialed in from the start! Iron discipline preparation showing!
Cooper Flagg, this beanpole, wastes a golden chance with a wild step-back three!
James Harden fires away carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
Cooper Flagg reacts too late to rotate! Heavy feet on the help side!
An alley-oop from Stephen Curry! This franchise guy just keeps delivering!
Coach calls everyone back. Cooper Flagg drags his feet toward the tunnel. Intel: Cooper Flagg asked New York Over-Timers for their energy drink recipe. They refused. We're back! The players look fired up.
James Harden dishes away from the huddle! This world-class player in a dark place mentally!
Druski, this solid build, loses the handle and the opportunity! Heavy feet!
This global icon Kobe Bryant uses the floater over this towering presence coverage! Smart!
James Harden, this guy everybody knows, making mistakes from exhaustion! The body is failing!
Druski tips the cap to the winners! The comedian's grace with the stunned audience!
Druski mutters 'damn' under his breath. Cooper Flagg says 'yeah' in the same tone. I learned backstage that Cooper Flagg also does comedian on weekends. That explains those reflexes. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
91-117 (L)
Druski wins the opening tip! Tipping off with comedian energy!
Cooper Flagg pulls up the rock right into the defender's hands! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Kobe Bryant, this tower, steps out of bounds with the orange! Mental lapse!
Stephen Curry gives up the back door! Lack of consistency when overplaying!
Stephen Curry buries a floater back to the basket! This bonafide star is on fire tonight!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Kobe Bryant asks for an ice pack. Fun fact: Kobe Bryant was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
This All-Star caliber talent Stephen Curry can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
James Harden can't hit the ocean right now! Another miss for this big-name player!
This global icon Kobe Bryant attacks the closeout! Driving past the over-eager defender!
This multi-time All-Star Stephen Curry has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
Cooper Flagg sits alone on the bench. This next-level player processing the defeat.
Cooper Flagg mutters 'damn' under his breath. Kobe Bryant says 'yeah' in the same tone. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
98-103 (L)
Tip-off! Stephen Curry gets us started! Let's go!
Druski, this combo guard, showcases freakish explosiveness with a gorgeous tear drop!
Cooper Flagg, this long boy, fouls unnecessarily at the top of the key! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Cooper Flagg, this 7-footer, can't get a buzzer beater to drop! Cold as ice tonight!
This household name Kobe Bryant rallies the troops! The team feeds off an unmatched feel for the game!
That's a cut. Druski stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Anecdote: Druski once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
This unknown gem Druski fouls in the clutch! Ego the size of Texas showing late!
Kobe Bryant mouths off and picks up a T! Injury-prone body taking over!
This hall-of-fame lock Kobe Bryant plays every possession like the last! Iron discipline burning bright!
Cooper Flagg, this long boy, forces a bad shot in the third quarter! Tendency to rush!
Cooper Flagg dunks to the tunnel in disappointment. This dude putting the league on notice will learn from this.
Cooper Flagg is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. Kobe Bryant waits at the tunnel entrance. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
83-111 (L)
Stephen Curry, this versatile guy, sets the tone immediately! Freakish explosiveness from the jump!
Kobe Bryant, this oversized freak, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this guy with rings on every finger!
James Harden charges right into the defender! Turnover! Shaky emotions under pressure when controlling pace!
Stephen Curry turns the head and loses the man! This max-contract guy napping defensively!
Stephen Curry, this jersey-selling name, drops a euro-step in transition! Pure artistry!
Break! Cooper Flagg rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Intel: Cooper Flagg once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
Stephen Curry, this franchise guy, with the frustrated foul! Tendency to force bad shots in tough moments!
James Harden, this big-name player, sends the rock wide! The touch is off tonight!
Stephen Curry dishes into the right spacing! An unmatched feel for the game and elite court awareness!
Stephen Curry lets fly sluggishly! Injury-prone body catching up with this max-contract guy!
Kobe Bryant, this once-in-a-lifetime player, takes the loss hard. Shaky emotions under pressure at the wrong moments.
Stephen Curry bites the inside of his cheek. James Harden pinches the bridge of his nose. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
91-129 (L)
This absolute legend Kobe Bryant in the starting lineup! Let's see what this absolute legend brings!
Cooper Flagg can't buy a bucket! Another miss back to the basket! Frustrating!
Druski with the careless pass! Roasting the stunned audience with more care, please!
James Harden gets caught flat-footed! This headliner beaten to the spot!
James Harden mutters to himself walking back! This top-tier talent fighting inner demons!
Halftime! Cooper Flagg checks his stats on the board and winces. Fun fact: Cooper Flagg tried to patent a celebration after a three-pointer. The application was rejected. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Cooper Flagg dishes but overcooks it! Occasional mental lapses showing up again!
Stephen Curry grabs the shorts! This guy everybody knows is running on fumes!
James Harden loses the orange in traffic! This big-name player can't afford that!
Kobe Bryant, this certified GOAT candidate, barks at the teammate! Tendency to rush taking over!
This max-contract guy James Harden stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this max-contract guy wanted.
Druski mutters 'damn' under his breath. Stephen Curry says 'yeah' in the same tone. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
miami , ngs finishes #11 (5W-10L). Better luck next season! MVP: Kobe Bryant.
Season Journal
Buckle up, pull your visor down, and clench everything you've got because tonight we are NOT talking about some pickup game at the park. Hell no. We're talking about an arena shaking so hard the neighbors called the cops three times before tip-off. We're talking about a franchise built on decades of sweat, tears, heart-stopping buzzer-beaters, and Draft picks so bold that half the league thought they'd lost their minds. And yet, here they are, back and hungrier than ever. Ladies and gentlemen... Miami , ngs!
Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. Kobe Bryant. Just the name sends chills through the building. Standing at 198 cm, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face.
You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance.
Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Druski. A comedian in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles their killer timing better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Druski has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the stunned audience and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning.
This team's budget is the GDP of a small country. Seriously, there are nations at the UN moving less cash than this roster. The Second Apron is blown to smithereens, the repeater tax bleeds the owner dry with every signature, and the league watches them with a mix of disgust and fascination. But the owner doesn't care. He has a dream, and that dream is a championship banner hanging from the rafters of this arena. Everything else, the penalties, the sacrificed Draft picks, the zero flexibility, that's just details. Damn details.
miami , ngs finishes #11 (5W-10L). Better luck next season! MVP: Kobe Bryant.
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