My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Phoenix No-Defense | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | My Team | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Good evening everyone and fasten your seatbelts because tonight we are not doing this gently. The arena is already sweating, the DJ cranked the volume so high the hardwood is vibrating, and there's a guy in the third row who painted his chest in the team colors even though it's freezing outside. That's devotion. That's basketball madness. And the franchise rolling in tonight deserves every decibel of this insane atmosphere. They've been through the hell of winless stretches and the ecstasy of Finals appearances, and honestly, nobody ever knows what they're going to pull off. That's what makes this sport so damn beautiful. The team with no name, baby! Alright, let's not kid ourselves, if the arena is packed to the gills, it's because of THE phenomenon. This guy isn't just a basketball player, he's a walking cheat code on the hardwood: give it up for Anthony Edwards! Picture this: standing at 197 cm, but he handles the rock with the agility of a 5'10" point guard and launches missiles from 30 feet like he's at shootaround. When he attacks the paint, it's simple, he's a freight train: either you get out of the way, or you end up on his poster doing the rounds on social media for a week straight. His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket. And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the cherry on top, the plot twist nobody saw coming: the coach recruited Mewtwo. An astrologer. To play professional basketball. I'll repeat for the people in the back: an astrologer, with their star chart, on an NBA hardwood. The guy showed up at his first practice asking where the locker rooms were... And went the wrong way. Twice. But the coach swears on everything holy that Mewtwo has "something." We don't know what exactly, but he has "something." In the meantime, the guy runs around like a headless chicken, confuses the cosmic fate with the basketball, and has already racked up three technical fouls for trying to negotiate with the referee. Budget-wise, we're playing in "almost elite" territory. The owner reaches into his pockets without flinching, the GM has room to make moves, and the roster oozes competence. This is the team that can beat anyone in a seven-game series and scares the top seeds. The only problem? When you're chasing a title, "almost" is a damn dirty word. But tonight, we'll see if they can go from "almost" to "finally."
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
78-123 (L)
Stephen Curry, this All-Star caliber talent, embraces the Playoff atmosphere! Game on!
Mewtwo just barely misses! Close as an astrologer getting the cosmic fate almost right!
Kyrie Irving coughs up the ball! Hot head strikes again in the paint!
Kyrie Irving loses the screen battle! Defense that's basically a suggestion around the picks!
Mewtwo shakes their head! An astrologer who can't believe that just happened!
Halftime! Anthony Edwards is limping slightly heading off the court. Small detail: Anthony Edwards wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
Godzilla forces a bad tear drop! This guy everybody knows needs to trust teammates!
Godzilla, this tweener, looks exhausted at half court! The legs are gone!
Mewtwo gets picked! An astrologer getting the cosmic fate stolen in broad daylight!
Stephen Curry posts up away from the huddle! This max-contract guy in a dark place mentally!
Godzilla posts up to the tunnel in disappointment. This reliable star will learn from this.
Anthony Edwards whispers 'this can't be real' under his breath. Mewtwo nods without conviction. I learned tonight that Anthony Edwards used to be an astrologer. That explains the unique running style. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
87-112 (L)
And we're underway! Anthony Edwards touches the Spalding first! This dude putting the league on notice looks eager!
A step-back three from Kyrie Irving goes in and out! Heartbreaking under the basket!
This world-class player Godzilla commits the 5-second violation! Clock management lack of consistency!
Anthony Edwards, this titan, lets the shooter get free along the baseline! Costly lapse!
Stephen Curry, this swiss-army-knife type, overpowers for a double-clutch layup! Size matters!
Into the tunnel. Kyrie Irving grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Bus driver's confession: Kyrie Irving raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
Stephen Curry slams the leather in frustration! Ego the size of Texas on full display!
This legit talent Anthony Edwards short-arms a double-clutch layup driving to the hoop! Not enough lift!
This All-Star caliber talent Godzilla calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
Stephen Curry rises up but can't sustain the effort! Occasional mental lapses emptying the tank!
Kyrie Irving dribbles past the media. This established star not in the mood to talk.
Godzilla collapses into the first available chair. Mewtwo stays standing, eyes glazed over. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
115-101 (W)
Mewtwo checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Stephen Curry converts a tough two-handed slam from downtown! Skill level: elite!
Godzilla, this guy everybody knows, walls up driving to the hoop! Impenetrable defense!
Anthony Edwards, this towering presence, drops the dime! Scary good handles passing on display!
Anthony Edwards, this tower, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! Freakish explosiveness!
Halftime. Godzilla glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Did you know Godzilla started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
Stephen Curry with another deep three! You can't stop this man!
This franchise guy Kyrie Irving draws the MVP chants! The crowd is on their feet for the star!
Stephen Curry, this smooth operator, repositions on defense! Scary good handles collective effort!
Kyrie Irving, this solid build, makes a statement! This bonafide star is here to stay!
Kyrie Irving, this combo guard, salutes the faithful! A bench mob celebration! What a night!
Godzilla grabs Stephen Curry and hoists him onto his shoulders. Mewtwo tries to climb on too. It ends in a pile. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
91-103 (L)
Mewtwo comes out hot! Heated up and ready, the astrologer means business!
Mewtwo misses! Even an astrologer can't fix that shot!
This reliable star Godzilla gets pickpocketed along the baseline! Sloppy handling!
Mewtwo loses their assignment! Like losing their star chart in the workshop!
Mewtwo scores off the inbound! That's the preparation of an astrologer right there!
Halftime. Stephen Curry throws his towel on the floor walking in. They say Stephen Curry has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Anthony Edwards, this solid pro, yells at the coaching staff! Injury-prone body causing friction!
A finger roll from Stephen Curry hits the iron! Occasional mental lapses under the spotlight!
Godzilla, this established star, times the cut perfectly! Backdoor for a tear drop!
Stephen Curry is gassed! This headliner bent over at half court! Tendency to rush catching up!
Kyrie Irving had the chances but couldn't convert. This guy everybody knows left wanting.
Anthony Edwards chews his nails on the bench. Kyrie Irving stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
84-128 (L)
Stephen Curry, this established star, draws first blood! An off-balance shot to start!
Anthony Edwards misfires on the low block! Even this player on the come-up has off nights!
Stephen Curry with the backcourt violation! This reliable star under too much pressure!
This headliner Kyrie Irving commits the and-one foul! Sometimes predictable game in positioning!
Anthony Edwards, this towering presence, throws the hands up! Exasperated from mid-range!
First half is done. Anthony Edwards is chugging Gatorade like it's water. Anecdote: Anthony Edwards fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
Mewtwo, this do-it-all player, bobbles the rock and the chance evaporates driving to the hoop!
Kyrie Irving, this multi-time All-Star, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
This jersey-selling name Godzilla loses concentration and the damn ball with it!
Mewtwo is visibly upset! Upset as an astrologer when the cosmic fate goes sideways!
This multi-time All-Star Stephen Curry shakes hands and moves on. In the end, tendency to rush proved costly.
Godzilla sits on the floor in the hallway. Anthony Edwards sits down next to him. Nobody speaks. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
100-97 (W)
Godzilla steps back with energy from the opening whistle! This headliner locked in!
This league veteran Anthony Edwards with the no-foul contest from downtown! Clean as a whistle!
Stephen Curry attacks the pill into the front rim! That's frustrating for this max-contract guy!
Godzilla dribbles and fires a layup! This versatile guy lighting it up!
Mewtwo attacks into the right spacing! Nerves of steel and elite court awareness!
Buzzer sounds, halftime! Kyrie Irving walks head down toward the tunnel. Did you know Kyrie Irving started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Break's over, the players take their positions.
This All-Star caliber talent Stephen Curry takes over in the first quarter! Nerves of steel in crunch time!
Mewtwo picks the pocket of the ball handler! Straight robbery!
The arena trembles! Stephen Curry with the play and a sold-out gym on fire follows!
This respected competitor Anthony Edwards silences the crowd! A pull-up jumper in transition! Stone cold!
This well-respected player Anthony Edwards wraps up a sensational performance! Victory is sweet!
Stephen Curry takes a bow for the crowd. Kyrie Irving bows to Stephen Curry. The nobility of basketball. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
88-107 (L)
Tip-off! Anthony Edwards gets us started! Let's go!
Stephen Curry forces a buzzer beater back to the basket! This certified bucket trying too hard!
Sloppy handling by Mewtwo! Divining the cosmic fate is done with more finesse!
This top-tier talent Stephen Curry fouls reaching in! Ego the size of Texas on defense!
This elite player Godzilla with a beautiful buzzer beater in the paint! Poetry in motion!
Time to breathe. Godzilla has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Little secret: Godzilla listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
This seasoned vet Anthony Edwards shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Kyrie Irving with a wild attempt! This big-name player not finding the range tonight!
Anthony Edwards drives to the weak side! This hooper's hooper exploiting the rotation!
Kyrie Irving is running on pure willpower! This jersey-selling name refusing to quit!
Anthony Edwards reflects on what could have been. Limited stamina the difference tonight.
Kyrie Irving hurls his water bottle at the wall. Anthony Edwards flinches but doesn't react. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
93-128 (L)
Mewtwo looks dialed in from the start! Unreal swagger preparation showing!
Stephen Curry takes a tough half-court heave and it doesn't go! Hot head in shot selection!
Anthony Edwards attacks carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
Godzilla, this versatile guy, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over shaky emotions under pressure!
Stephen Curry glares at the scoreboard! This reliable star not happy with the situation!
End of the first half. Kyrie Irving is beet red but still standing. Locker room intel: Kyrie Irving has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Stephen Curry, this franchise guy, sends the rock wide! The touch is off tonight!
Kyrie Irving is visibly tired! This top-tier talent needs a timeout badly!
Anthony Edwards, this colossus, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted from downtown!
Stephen Curry gets a technical for complaining! Tendency to force bad shots on full display!
This multi-time All-Star Godzilla leaves the hardwood with head held high. Fought to the end.
Mewtwo mutters while walking out. Anthony Edwards watches from the corner of his eye, worried. I tried to take a selfie with the court in the background. My thumb is over the lens. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
90-134 (L)
This top-tier talent Godzilla in the starting lineup! Let's see what this top-tier talent brings!
Mewtwo, this raw talent, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
This franchise guy Stephen Curry with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
Kyrie Irving reacts too late to rotate! Sometimes predictable game on the help side!
Mewtwo slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than an astrologer hits the workbench!
The players head to the locker room. Anthony Edwards is sweating like a racehorse. Juicy intel: Anthony Edwards turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Mewtwo misses the open look! An astrologer never misses the cosmic fate... But misses the leather!
Stephen Curry short-arms the shot from fatigue! This bonafide star has nothing left!
Kyrie Irving tries to be too fancy and loses the orange! Tendency to rush in the decision-making!
Kyrie Irving shoots and kicks the stanchion! This headliner losing composure!
Stephen Curry walks off in silence. This headliner gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Stephen Curry chews his nails on the bench. Kyrie Irving stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
85-106 (L)
Godzilla blows past onto the floor! The crowd roars for this top-tier talent!
A finger roll by Godzilla at the buzzer is way off! Tough night for this elite player!
Mewtwo gets the ball stripped! The cosmic fate would have stayed in an astrologer's grip!
Anthony Edwards, this absolute unit, gets dunked on the low block! Poster material!
Kyrie Irving, this solid build, uses every inch to deliver a step-back three!
The players disappear. Mewtwo has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Did you know Mewtwo entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. We're back! The players look fired up.
Anthony Edwards mouths off and picks up a T! Hot head taking over!
A layup from Kyrie Irving sails wide! This headliner needs to regroup!
Mewtwo makes the hockey pass! Next-level basketball IQ finding the extra pass!
Anthony Edwards grabs the shorts! This established player is running on fumes!
Stephen Curry, this certified bucket, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Stephen Curry chews his nails on the bench. Kyrie Irving stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
79-124 (L)
Stephen Curry, this All-Star caliber talent, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Anthony Edwards lets fly but overcooks it! Hot head showing up again!
Anthony Edwards spins into a dead end off the pick and roll! Turnover! Limited stamina!
Stephen Curry gets caught flat-footed! This jersey-selling name beaten to the spot!
This multi-time All-Star Stephen Curry stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Break. Mewtwo's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. I've been told Mewtwo always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
Mewtwo gets the friendly rim but no luck! Even the astrologer touch can't save that one!
Godzilla, this max-contract guy, sucking wind after that sprint! The contest of battle!
Mewtwo commits the live-ball turnover! Their star chart would be ashamed!
This headliner Kyrie Irving throws an elbow in frustration! Injury-prone body on full display!
Godzilla, this guy everybody knows, takes the loss hard. Sometimes predictable game at the wrong moments.
Godzilla claps his hands in frustration. Mewtwo clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
86-121 (L)
Kyrie Irving fires up the crowd to open the game! This certified bucket starting strong!
This top-tier talent Godzilla muscles up an alley-oop but can't get it to fall!
Stephen Curry, this do-it-all player, gets called for the carry! Lack of consistency in ball-handling!
This established star Kyrie Irving bites on the fake! Beaten back to the basket!
Mewtwo walks away muttering! Muttering about the cosmic fate under their breath!
Halftime! Stephen Curry is limping slightly heading off the court. I've been told Stephen Curry always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
This up-and-coming baller Anthony Edwards whiffs on a bank shot! The crowd groans!
Stephen Curry bends over during the dead ball! This world-class player gathering what's left!
Mewtwo trips up in the right wing! An astrologer never trips at work... Right?
Kyrie Irving mutters to himself walking back! This world-class player fighting inner demons!
This up-and-coming baller Anthony Edwards tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Stephen Curry walks toward the tunnel without a word. Kyrie Irving stares at the scoreboard as if it might change. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
76-120 (L)
Stephen Curry, this do-it-all player, announced to huge cheers! A cathedral silence!
Mewtwo rattles it out! Shaking the gymnasium with their star chart intensity!
Godzilla explodes into a trap! Sometimes predictable game when reading the defense!
This top-tier talent Kyrie Irving caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Anthony Edwards storms to the bench! This name that's buzzing is visibly upset!
Break. Kyrie Irving collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. Did you know Kyrie Irving keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Godzilla lets fly the Spalding right into the defender's hands! Tendency to force bad shots!
Kyrie Irving, this swiss-army-knife type, laboring up and down! Sometimes predictable game draining the energy!
Mewtwo with the bad read! Misreading the play like misreading the cosmic fate!
Mewtwo blows past angrily after the turnover! This diamond in the rough spiraling!
Godzilla, this swiss-army-knife type, hangs the head. Tough loss despite a killer instinct effort.
Stephen Curry and Godzilla share a single look. Just one. It contains all the disappointment in the world. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
90-112 (L)
Godzilla, this tweener, sets the tone immediately! Eyes in the back of the head from the jump!
Stephen Curry, this reliable star, comes up empty! A reverse layup off target from downtown!
Godzilla, this versatile guy, gets stripped under the basket! Defense that's basically a suggestion exposed!
Stephen Curry turns the head and loses the man! This franchise guy napping defensively!
Kyrie Irving scores with night-in night-out consistency. A step-back three from mid-range! Too smooth!
Cut! Halftime. Godzilla's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Little secret: Godzilla watches cat videos between quarters. Says it's relaxing. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
This bonafide star Kyrie Irving gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Mewtwo shoots the pill awkwardly! The touch just isn't there for this player nobody saw coming!
Anthony Edwards, this long boy, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!
This established star Godzilla stumbles! The fatigue is real after the 48 regulation minutes!
Anthony Edwards, this mammoth, trudges off the court. Lessons to take from this one.
Kyrie Irving stands alone at center court as the lights go dim. Stephen Curry comes back to get him. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
80-124 (L)
Mewtwo, this tweener, is introduced and the arena explodes! This hungry young player is in the building!
Godzilla, this versatile guy, gets the look but can't convert on the low block!
Godzilla with the lazy pass! Occasional mental lapses leading to easy points!
Mewtwo can't stay in front! Divining the cosmic fate doesn't build lateral quickness!
Kyrie Irving, this tweener, pounds the scorer's table! Tendency to force bad shots on full display!
Break! Kyrie Irving grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Rumor has it Kyrie Irving tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
Godzilla, this versatile guy, gets the look driving to the hoop but the lid's on the rim!
Godzilla dribbles sluggishly! Shaky emotions under pressure catching up with this bonafide star!
Anthony Edwards, this mammoth, commits the travel! Sometimes predictable game in the footwork!
This solid pro Anthony Edwards can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
This guy everybody knows Godzilla stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this guy everybody knows wanted.
Mewtwo shakes Stephen Curry's hand in silence. Not a word. Just a look that says it all. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
My Team finishes #15 (2W-13L). Better luck next season! MVP: Anthony Edwards.
Season Journal
Good evening everyone and fasten your seatbelts because tonight we are not doing this gently. The arena is already sweating, the DJ cranked the volume so high the hardwood is vibrating, and there's a guy in the third row who painted his chest in the team colors even though it's freezing outside. That's devotion. That's basketball madness. And the franchise rolling in tonight deserves every decibel of this insane atmosphere. They've been through the hell of winless stretches and the ecstasy of Finals appearances, and honestly, nobody ever knows what they're going to pull off. That's what makes this sport so damn beautiful. The team with no name, baby!
Alright, let's not kid ourselves, if the arena is packed to the gills, it's because of THE phenomenon. This guy isn't just a basketball player, he's a walking cheat code on the hardwood: give it up for Anthony Edwards! Picture this: standing at 197 cm, but he handles the rock with the agility of a 5'10" point guard and launches missiles from 30 feet like he's at shootaround. When he attacks the paint, it's simple, he's a freight train: either you get out of the way, or you end up on his poster doing the rounds on social media for a week straight.
His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket.
And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the cherry on top, the plot twist nobody saw coming: the coach recruited Mewtwo. An astrologer. To play professional basketball. I'll repeat for the people in the back: an astrologer, with their star chart, on an NBA hardwood. The guy showed up at his first practice asking where the locker rooms were... And went the wrong way. Twice. But the coach swears on everything holy that Mewtwo has "something." We don't know what exactly, but he has "something." In the meantime, the guy runs around like a headless chicken, confuses the cosmic fate with the basketball, and has already racked up three technical fouls for trying to negotiate with the referee.
Budget-wise, we're playing in "almost elite" territory. The owner reaches into his pockets without flinching, the GM has room to make moves, and the roster oozes competence. This is the team that can beat anyone in a seven-game series and scares the top seeds. The only problem? When you're chasing a title, "almost" is a damn dirty word. But tonight, we'll see if they can go from "almost" to "finally."
My Team finishes #15 (2W-13L). Better luck next season! MVP: Anthony Edwards.
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