Az álom kosárlabda ötösöm — basketball_team 🇭🇺
5 members · TeamBranch
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Tabella
| # | Team | Gy | V | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 5 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | My Team | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Felkészülési időszak
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. The team with no name, baby! If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Superman. The man is massive, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball. The opposing locker room before the game, you know what they talk about? Not the game plan. Not the offensive scheme. No. They talk about HIM. "How do we stop him?" "Who takes the matchup?" "Does he look tired?" Spoiler: he's never tired. And even when he looks tired, it's a trap. The man fakes exhaustion in the third quarter and drops 14 in the fourth like a coiled spring being released. Opposing coaches have 50-page scouting reports on him, and every single page is absolutely useless. Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. Superman is on this team. Superman, who is a szuperhős and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with bare hands under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world. The budget? What budget? We're so far below the salary floor you could limbo under it blindfolded. The team accountant is the owner's cousin running Excel 2003 with no updates since the Bush administration. The jerseys are hand-washed by the intern, road trips are carpooled, and the last free agent who visited the facilities turned around the second he saw the locker room. But you know what? Character is forged in the struggle. And this team's got character coming out of its damn ears.
Játéknap 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
85-130 (V)
Jesus Christ dribbles onto the floor! The crowd roars for this global icon!
Goku with the ugly miss! The gazdálkodó touch is absent tonight!
Goku with the backcourt violation! A gazdálkodó going backwards with the makacs talaj!
John F. Kennedy can't stay in front! Navigálniing a politikai vihar doesn't build lateral quickness!
This generational talent John F. Kennedy throws an elbow in frustration! Occasional mental lapses on full display!
Back to the locker room. Superman punches his locker. The staff told me Superman sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
A catch-and-shoot triple from John F. Kennedy hits the iron! Injury-prone body under the spotlight!
John F. Kennedy looks to the bench for relief! Relief like a államférfi relieved of the diplomáciai postájuk!
Jesus Christ dispossessed! Couldn't hold on, not the messiás's finest moment!
Superman glares at the scoreboard! This hall-of-fame lock not happy with the situation!
King Kong lets fly past the media. This elite player not in the mood to talk.
Jesus Christ's eyes are glassy. John F. Kennedy mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Játéknap 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
90-108 (V)
John F. Kennedy starts in the sharpshooter! Playing the sharpshooter way a államférfi plays with the diplomáciai postájuk!
King Kong with the off-balance layup! This headliner couldn't set the feet!
This max-contract guy King Kong gets pickpocketed in the paint! Sloppy handling!
John F. Kennedy gets blown by! Even a államférfi couldn't stop that!
This undisputed superstar Jesus Christ with a vintage thunderous slam! The old magic is still there!
Break! John F. Kennedy takes his jersey off before even reaching the locker room. I've been told John F. Kennedy once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
Superman can't hide the frustration! Their bare hands frustration meets the orange frustration!
John F. Kennedy posts up the Wilson into nothing! Tendency to force bad shots on full display tonight!
Goku overloads one side! Loading up with gazdálkodó strategy!
King Kong, this combo guard, looks exhausted on the low block! The legs are gone!
John F. Kennedy absorbs the defeat! Taking it on the chin, a államférfi knows tough days!
Jesus Christ and King Kong walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Játéknap 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
106-85 (Gy)
Jesus Christ, this franchise cornerstone, embraces the Playoff atmosphere! Game on!
John F. Kennedy with the teardrop hook shot! Beautiful as a államférfi's finest a politikai vihar!
Superman steals the ball! Quick hands from competing the game all day!
King Kong, this All-Star caliber talent, manipulates the defense and drops the dime! A gym-rat work ethic!
Goku sets the screen at the perfect angle! This top-tier talent cerebral play!
Back to the locker room. John F. Kennedy's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Locker room anecdote: John F. Kennedy talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
John F. Kennedy crosses over past everyone for a step-back three! This swiss-army-knife type on a mission!
The crowd chants Goku's name! A Playoff atmosphere for the gazdálkodó with the vető bot!
King Kong makes the extra pass! This franchise guy hockey assist for a devastating dunk!
Jesus Christ, this tweener, embodies the spirit of competition! What a show!
Superman talks to reporters! Explaining the ball like explaining the game!
Goku blows a kiss to the camera. John F. Kennedy blows twelve. Superman blocks the lens. Did you know that John F. Kennedy practices messiás on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Játéknap 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
94-112 (V)
This world-class player King Kong means business! Fast start from downtown!
Brick! Jesus Christ misfires from downtown! Tendency to force bad shots at the worst time!
Turnover by Goku! Művelniing the makacs talaj requires less coordination, clearly!
This guy everybody knows Goku gives up the offensive rebound! Occasional mental lapses when boxing out!
Superman floats one at the buzzer! Delicate as a szuperhős with their bare hands!
Halftime. The physio pounces on Jesus Christ to massage his thighs. Juicy anecdote: Jesus Christ was caught dancing the Macarena in the showers. Alone. Play resumes. The DJ drops a beat to hype up the crowd.
Superman drops their shoulders! Deflated, even a szuperhős's spirit has limits!
John F. Kennedy misses badly! Should have aimed like they aim the diplomáciai postájuk at a politikai vihar!
Goku, this elite player, times the cut perfectly! Backdoor for an and-one!
Jesus Christ, this basketball god, sucking wind after that sprint! The contest of battle!
Superman shakes hands through the pain! A szuperhős who respects their bare hands and the game!
Superman lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Goku holds his in. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Játéknap 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
90-112 (V)
John F. Kennedy takes the court to wild stands! The államférfi with the diplomáciai postájuk is here!
Goku shanks it from the three-point line! Művelniing the makacs talaj uses different muscles!
This generational talent John F. Kennedy commits the 5-second violation! Clock management lack of consistency!
Jesus Christ, this all-around player, gets exploited in the switch! Defense that's basically a suggestion exposed in the mismatch!
What a play by Jesus Christ! A catch-and-shoot triple from way beyond the arc! This undisputed superstar is cooking!
The players file out. King Kong exchanges a tense look with the coach. Fun fact: King Kong was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
Jesus Christ slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a messiás hits the workbench!
Goku misfires from the right corner! This max-contract guy searching for answers!
Superman, this smooth operator, exploits the mismatch from downtown! Smart play!
Superman, this solid build, laboring up and down! Occasional mental lapses draining the energy!
John F. Kennedy takes the loss hard! Hard as a politikai vihar on a bad államférfi day!
John F. Kennedy's eyes are red, jaw tight. Jesus Christ apologizes to the coach, voice cracking. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Játéknap 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
93-107 (V)
The gymnasium welcomes Jesus Christ! The messiás with the game has arrived!
Superman, this potential GOAT, comes up empty! A two-handed slam off target from the right corner!
John F. Kennedy with the bad read! Misreading the play like misreading a politikai vihar!
King Kong gets crossed over! This reliable star left frozen in the paint!
Goku scores at will! A buzzer-beater from the left corner! This reliable star domination!
Halftime! King Kong checks his stats on the board and winces. Anecdote: King Kong once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Superman storms to the bench! Heated! This szuperhős doesn't handle losing well!
A double-clutch layup by King Kong off the pick and roll is way off! Tough night for this jersey-selling name!
Goku schemes with the coaching staff! Plotting the next move, true gazdálkodó!
This potential GOAT Jesus Christ is a warrior but the body says no! The four quarters of war!
Jesus Christ walks off in defeat! Even a messiás's skills couldn't save tonight!
King Kong bites his lip, fists clenched. Superman shakes his head slowly, in disbelief. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Játéknap 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
99-107 (V)
This bonafide star Goku catches the orange early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
John F. Kennedy goes 0 for the quarter! A államférfi having a rough shift with the diplomáciai postájuk!
King Kong charges right into the defender! Turnover! Occasional mental lapses when controlling pace!
John F. Kennedy gets burned on the drive! Tendency to rush in lateral movement!
Superman with the smooth two-handed slam! This absolute legend making it look easy!
The players head in. John F. Kennedy slips on the wet tunnel floor. Confession: John F. Kennedy calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
Goku throws their hands up! Like a gazdálkodó when the vető bot breaks!
Air ball from Jesus Christ! Being a messiás doesn't help with shooting, apparently!
Goku reads the defense perfectly! That dawg mentality and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Superman bends over during the dead ball! This living legend gathering what's left!
John F. Kennedy refuses to make excuses! A államférfi owns a politikai vihar failures too!
Superman's brow is furrowed, lips pressed thin. Jesus Christ breathes through his nose, hard, steady, trying to calm down. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Játéknap 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
91-104 (V)
John F. Kennedy lands the first scoop layup! First blood! The államférfi strikes first!
John F. Kennedy, this versatile guy, bobbles the rock and the chance evaporates on the low block!
King Kong, this all-around player, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted from the right corner!
King Kong gets caught flat-footed! This elite player beaten to the spot!
Goku pulls up and drills a reverse layup! Can't teach that!
Both teams head in. Jesus Christ has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. I've been told Jesus Christ always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
This once-in-a-lifetime player Superman hangs the head after the miss! Deflated on the low block!
John F. Kennedy, this solid build, loses the handle and the opportunity! Tendency to rush!
John F. Kennedy spaces the floor! Making room out there like a államférfi clears the workspace!
Jesus Christ leans on their knees! Gassed, but the messiás keeps going!
This top-tier talent King Kong tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Jesus Christ walks head down toward the tunnel. John F. Kennedy drags his feet behind, shoulders slumped. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Játéknap 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
99-103 (V)
King Kong fires up the crowd to open the game! This top-tier talent starting strong!
A floater from King Kong! This max-contract guy reminding everyone why they're on top!
John F. Kennedy beaten off the dribble! Quicker than a politikai vihar slipping from a államférfi!
Jesus Christ, this smooth operator, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this potential GOAT!
Goku won't go down without a fight! A gazdálkodó defending the makacs talaj to the end!
Break time. John F. Kennedy bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Little scoop: John F. Kennedy collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
Superman misses the wide-open look with seconds left on the clock! This hall-of-fame lock will regret that!
King Kong slams the pill in frustration! Sometimes predictable game on full display!
The legend of King Kong grows! This All-Star caliber talent adding another chapter from the right corner!
Jesus Christ throws it away in crunch time! A messiás wasting their bare hands at the worst time!
Jesus Christ gave it everything! Everything a messiás has, left on the court!
Superman stands alone at center court as the lights go dim. King Kong comes back to get him. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Játéknap 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
91-121 (V)
Jesus Christ lets fly with energy from the opening whistle! This living legend locked in!
Goku, this all-around player, draws the foul but can't capitalize! Shaky emotions under pressure!
Jesus Christ commits the live-ball turnover! Their bare hands would be ashamed!
Superman loses their assignment! Like losing their bare hands in the workshop!
King Kong, this all-around player, overpowers for a free throw! Size matters!
Buzzer sounds, halftime! Jesus Christ walks head down toward the tunnel. Anecdote: Jesus Christ once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
Goku explodes and kicks the stanchion! This franchise guy losing composure!
Goku misses! Even a gazdálkodó can't fix that shot!
Jesus Christ executes a suffocating man-to-man defense perfectly! Precision learned as a messiás!
Superman slows down visibly! Slower than their bare hands on low power!
This generational talent Jesus Christ shakes hands and moves on. In the end, limited stamina proved costly.
Goku presses his forehead against the tunnel glass. John F. Kennedy walks right past without noticing. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Játéknap 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
83-119 (V)
John F. Kennedy, this first-ballot legend, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
King Kong fires a layup at the top of the key but can't connect! Limited stamina showing!
Superman trips up in the three-point line! A szuperhős never trips at work... Right?
This hall-of-fame lock Jesus Christ bites on the fake! Beaten facing the rim!
King Kong, this do-it-all player, throws the hands up! Exasperated at the buzzer!
Halftime. The doctor examines King Kong's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Little scoop: King Kong tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
This certified GOAT candidate Jesus Christ whiffs on a hook shot! The crowd groans!
John F. Kennedy, this global icon, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
Stolen from Jesus Christ! A messiás who let it slip through their fingers!
John F. Kennedy kicks the air! The frustration of a államférfi who knows they can do better!
Jesus Christ hangs their head! A messiás who gave everything they had!
Goku claps his hands in frustration. Superman clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Játéknap 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
86-115 (V)
This established star King Kong comes out aggressive! Opens with a two-handed slam at half court!
Superman bricks another one! Building something awful with their bare hands tonight!
John F. Kennedy with the lazy pass! Sometimes predictable game leading to easy points!
John F. Kennedy loses the battle in the paint! Being a államférfi doesn't help you here!
Superman drives past the defense for a reverse layup! Size advantage from this this solid build!
Back to the locker room. King Kong's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Anecdote: King Kong threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
This living legend John F. Kennedy gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Goku misses the bunny! A gazdálkodó dropping the makacs talaj from point-blank!
Goku, this franchise guy, orchestrates the delay game! Eyes in the back of the head in action!
Superman misses from fatigue! This potential GOAT can't get the elevation at the buzzer!
This certified bucket King Kong leaves the court with head held high. Fought to the end.
Goku sits on the floor in the hallway. King Kong sits down next to him. Nobody speaks. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Játéknap 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
97-126 (V)
Game time! Jesus Christ and this hall-of-fame lock ready to put on a show at the court!
Jesus Christ can't buy a bucket! Maybe the game would be easier to aim!
Superman, this do-it-all player, gets stripped on the low block! Hot head exposed!
John F. Kennedy gets screened out! Stuck behind the diplomáciai postájuk like it's a wall!
Superman gets the friendly bounce! Even the leather respects a szuperhős!
Break! King Kong grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Quick anecdote about King Kong: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
This headliner King Kong slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
King Kong can't hit the ocean right now! Another miss for this franchise guy!
Superman slows the pace when the team needs it! This undisputed superstar tempo control!
Jesus Christ, this generational talent, making mistakes from exhaustion! The body is failing!
King Kong sits alone on the bench. This multi-time All-Star processing the defeat.
Superman stares at the floor while Jesus Christ mutters something inaudible under his breath. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Játéknap 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
79-124 (V)
Jesus Christ, this solid build, sets the tone immediately! Insane court vision from the jump!
John F. Kennedy, this combo guard, gets stuffed trying a step-back three! Denied!
Jesus Christ turns it over in the top of the key! Butterfingers from this messiás!
Superman scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Hot head!
John F. Kennedy vents at their teammates! The államférfi who vents about a politikai vihar!
Break! King Kong takes his jersey off before even reaching the locker room. Little scoop: King Kong collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
Superman fades away but it's well off! Injury-prone body under fatigue!
King Kong is gassed! This certified bucket bent over at half court! Occasional mental lapses catching up!
John F. Kennedy loses the Spalding! A államférfi would never be this careless!
This once-in-a-lifetime player John F. Kennedy can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Jesus Christ vows to come back stronger! Stronger than their bare hands reinforced with the game!
Jesus Christ sits on the floor in the hallway. John F. Kennedy sits down next to him. Nobody speaks. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Thanks for watching. Coming up: '48 Hours: The Secret Life of Roundabouts.' Essential viewing.
Játéknap 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
82-126 (V)
This jersey-selling name Goku opens the scoring! A scoop layup! Early advantage!
King Kong takes off the pill right into the defender's hands! Injury-prone body!
John F. Kennedy throws it into the stands! What was that from this hall-of-fame lock!
John F. Kennedy reacts too late to rotate! Shaky emotions under pressure on the help side!
King Kong, this world-class player, refuses to high-five! Heavy feet hurting the chemistry!
Into the tunnel. Jesus Christ grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Did you know? Jesus Christ launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Superman fires and misses at half court. Should have stuck with the game!
John F. Kennedy finds a second wind! The államférfi engine roars back to life!
John F. Kennedy forces the pass! Forcing the diplomáciai postájuk where it doesn't fit!
John F. Kennedy shakes their head! A államférfi who can't believe that just happened!
King Kong walks off in silence. This max-contract guy gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Jesus Christ collapses into the first available chair. John F. Kennedy stays standing, eyes glazed over. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
My Team finishes #16 (1W-14L). Better luck next season! MVP: Superman.
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Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. The team with no name, baby!
If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Superman. The man is massive, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball.
The opposing locker room before the game, you know what they talk about? Not the game plan. Not the offensive scheme. No. They talk about HIM. "How do we stop him?" "Who takes the matchup?" "Does he look tired?" Spoiler: he's never tired. And even when he looks tired, it's a trap. The man fakes exhaustion in the third quarter and drops 14 in the fourth like a coiled spring being released. Opposing coaches have 50-page scouting reports on him, and every single page is absolutely useless.
Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. Superman is on this team. Superman, who is a szuperhős and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with bare hands under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world.
The budget? What budget? We're so far below the salary floor you could limbo under it blindfolded. The team accountant is the owner's cousin running Excel 2003 with no updates since the Bush administration. The jerseys are hand-washed by the intern, road trips are carpooled, and the last free agent who visited the facilities turned around the second he saw the locker room. But you know what? Character is forged in the struggle. And this team's got character coming out of its damn ears.
My Team finishes #16 (1W-14L). Better luck next season! MVP: Superman.
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