My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | My Team | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | New York Over-Timers | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Miami Heart-Attack | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Kill the cameras, turn off your phones, and shut your mouths because what we're about to witness tonight only happens once in a generation. We're in the belly of an arena where the floor trembles under the bass, where the Jumbotron spits fire, where 20,000 lunatics are screaming their heads off before the tip-off even happens. The franchise walking onto this court isn't a basketball club, it's a war machine forged in the pain of defeat and the madness of impossible comebacks. Every player here has gladiator blood in his veins and an ego size of Texas. The team with no name, baby! Listen, I've watched hundreds of players come and go in my broadcasting career, but Michael Jordan is something else entirely. He's the kind of player who makes you jump out of your chair and scream "OH SHIT" at your TV without even realizing it. Standing at 198 cm, a wingspan like a pterodactyl, and a killer instinct that even the coaches can't explain. This man feels the game. He knows where the ball is going to land before the shot even leaves the hand. He reads passes like he's reading minds. At this level, it's not basketball anymore, it's straight-up sorcery. The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins. And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Aragorn. The man is a military leader. A freaking military leader. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with battle standard and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered. Budget: unlimited. Well technically there's a limit, but the owner decided to ignore it. We're in repeater tax territory, where every extra dollar of payroll costs FIVE dollars in penalties. The front office sweats with every new contract, the accountant has quit three times this year, but the owner keeps signing checks. The result? An absolute dream roster, the kind of team you build in NBA 2K when you turn on cheat mode. The downside? Zero flexibility. No first-round Draft picks, no free agent signings, no wiggle room whatsoever. It's all or nothing. And tonight, it's gonna be all.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
101-113 (L)
Luka Dončić penetrates onto the floor! The crowd roars for this multi-time All-Star!
Quinn Meinerz fades away the rock into the front rim! That's frustrating for this dude out of nowhere!
Quinn Meinerz throws it away! Tendency to force bad shots under pressure on the low block!
Nikola Jokić turns the head and loses the man! This All-Star caliber talent napping defensively!
Quinn Meinerz scores at will! A free throw from mid-range! This hungry young player domination!
Well-deserved break. Aragorn looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Fun fact: Aragorn got rejected at a casting for a deodorant commercial. The irony. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
This total unknown Quinn Meinerz gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
This guy everybody knows Luka Dončić shanks a buzzer beater at half court! That's uncharacteristic!
This multi-time All-Star Nikola Jokić recognizes the over-help and punishes it!
Michael Jordan steps back a step slower than usual! Occasional mental lapses in the tank!
This headliner Nikola Jokić leaves the floor with head held high. Fought to the end.
Aragorn sits on the floor in the hallway. Michael Jordan sits down next to him. Nobody speaks. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
118-85 (W)
Quinn Meinerz, this all-around player, announced to huge cheers! A boiling cauldron!
Michael Jordan, this absolute unit, dominates at the top of the key and puts up a two-handed slam! Unstoppable!
Luka Dončić picks apart the defense! Assist leads to a devastating dunk!
Luka Dončić dunks the basketball with an unmatched feel for the game. And it drops! Nothing you can do!
Michael Jordan, this beanpole, walls off the drive in the paint! No way through!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Aragorn asks for an ice pack. Bus driver's confession: Aragorn raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. The players jog toward the court. The air is electric.
Nikola Jokić with the and-one tear drop! Eyes in the back of the head through the whistle!
Luka Dončić even the deep bench is scoring! Complete team effort tonight!
This certified GOAT candidate Michael Jordan accidentally dunks on the wrong basket! Confusion!
This hall-of-fame lock Michael Jordan waves goodbye to the opponent! A bench mob celebration! Savage!
Nikola Jokić, this tower, acknowledges the fans! An incredible energy! A slide across the hardwood!
Nikola Jokić and Luka Dončić carry Quinn Meinerz like a trophy across the entire court. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
132-90 (W)
Aragorn sets the tone early! The military leader came to play tonight!
Nikola Jokić, this beanpole, uses strength and skill for a double-clutch layup! Complete player!
Aragorn quarterbacks the offense! Commanding the floor like a military leader on the clock!
Aragorn dunks the Spalding beautifully for a half-court heave! What touch!
This big-name player Aragorn holds ground in transition! Immovable object!
Break. Aragorn asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. True story: Aragorn walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Orlando Magic-Beans. Awkward. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
Nikola Jokić, this guy everybody knows, drops a free throw on the low block! Pure artistry!
Nikola Jokić, this oversized freak, caps off a dominant performance! Ridiculous creativity from start to finish!
Aragorn wore the battle standard to the press conference! Fashion statement!
Quinn Meinerz with the ice-cold stare at the opposing bench after the and-one! This diamond in the rough is fired up!
Aragorn walks off the hardwood victorious! A military leader who conquered it all tonight!
Aragorn cries tears of joy in Michael Jordan's arms. Luka Dončić is also crying but nobody knows why. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
119-75 (W)
Aragorn takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Michael Jordan with an incredible bank shot on the low block! Standing ovation!
Nikola Jokić steps back into the lane and kicks out! An off-the-charts basketball IQ and great decision-making!
Aragorn hits on a clutch free throw! Clutch like a military leader meeting a deadline!
Aragorn, this swiss-army-knife type, contests without fouling! Clean as a whistle!
Into the tunnel. Luka Dončić grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Fun fact: Luka Dončić blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Luka Dončić, this long boy, with a silky step-back three at the buzzer! Smooth operator!
This rising star Quinn Meinerz and the team deliver a masterpiece! A layup! Perfection!
Michael Jordan dribbles the wrong way on offense! This global icon needs a GPS!
Luka Dončić, this big fella, takes a bow! A hug with the coach! This established star knows that was special!
That's the game! Luka Dončić finishes with a monster performance! This established star victorious!
Nikola Jokić does a backflip. Well, he tries. Quinn Meinerz applauds the effort. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. Thanks for watching this game. And now: 'Deal or No Deal: Office Fridge Edition.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
111-88 (W)
Quinn Meinerz dunks into position! This hidden prospect not wasting any time!
Michael Jordan, this walking skyscraper, posts up and delivers a devastating dunk! Textbook!
Nikola Jokić, this titan, covers ground to get the double team! Wow!
Michael Jordan reads the defense like a book! Assist off the pick and roll! Eyes in the back of the head!
This reliable star Aragorn attacks the closeout! Driving past the over-eager defender!
Break! Nikola Jokić rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. The staff told me Nikola Jokić sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Aragorn launches from the left corner with the same confidence they bring to rallying the war front.
A packed arena is electric when Aragorn has the basketball! A military leader charging the room!
Michael Jordan, this certified GOAT candidate, picks up the fallen teammate! Freakish explosiveness beyond the stats!
The legend of Nikola Jokić grows! This big-name player adding another chapter from downtown!
This household name Michael Jordan raises the arms! The win is in the books! A primal scream!
Michael Jordan and Quinn Meinerz swing Luka Dončić around by his arms like a carousel. He looks sick. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
129-83 (W)
Tip-off! Nikola Jokić gets us started! Let's go!
Quinn Meinerz, this raw talent, operates from mid-range with an and-one! Clinic!
Nikola Jokić whips the pass cross-court! Assist! This oversized freak seeing everything!
Aragorn, this swiss-army-knife type, uses every inch to deliver a double-clutch layup!
Nikola Jokić, this world-class player, walls up from mid-range! Impenetrable defense!
Halftime! Michael Jordan walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Quick anecdote about Michael Jordan: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
This generational talent Michael Jordan finishes with authority! A free throw off the pick and roll!
This big-name player Luka Dončić puts the exclamation point! A pull-up jumper facing the rim!
Quinn Meinerz, this all-around player, tries the spin move and gets dizzy! This guy nobody was talking about wobbling!
Michael Jordan, this towering presence, gets the crowd on their feet! A team high-five! Electric!
Quinn Meinerz, this swiss-army-knife type, carries the team to victory! MVP-level performance!
Aragorn and Quinn Meinerz stare at each other in silence for five seconds. Then burst out laughing at the exact same time. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
132-87 (W)
Michael Jordan, this tower, sets the tone immediately! Insane court vision from the jump!
Aragorn punishes the defense! A military leader punishing the war front with precision!
This first-ballot legend Michael Jordan leads the fast break and dishes! Easy bucket off the assist!
A hook shot from Nikola Jokić! That's freakish explosiveness at the highest level!
This jersey-selling name Luka Dončić reads the play and intercepts! Brilliant anticipation!
The players file out. Michael Jordan exchanges a tense look with the coach. Anecdote: Michael Jordan fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. The locker room empties, the court fills up. Act 2.
Quinn Meinerz, this all-around player, takes over from the left corner. A pull-up jumper! That's elite!
Aragorn extends the lead! The military leader is pulling away from the pack!
Michael Jordan high-fives nobody! This household name left hanging under the basket! Brutal!
Nikola Jokić lets out a roar! The emotion is real! A team high-five!
Luka Dončić, this elite player, embraces the teammates! A finger to the lips to hush the crowd! Sweet victory!
Quinn Meinerz and Nikola Jokić chest bump so hard they each fly back three meters. Tonight I learned Quinn Meinerz used to be a military leader before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
118-102 (W)
Luka Dončić, this beanpole, takes the court! The boiling cauldron is electric!
Nikola Jokić, this bonafide star, reads the play perfectly and delivers a scoop layup!
Aragorn a crucial offensive board with authority! This all-around player protecting the paint!
Luka Dončić threads the needle! Beautiful assist from mid-range! Unreal court vision!
Aragorn uses a relentless run and gun brilliantly! Strategy from rallying the war front!
Halftime. The doctor examines Luka Dončić's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Anecdote: Luka Dončić threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
Aragorn penetrates and converts! A scoop layup from downtown! Money!
Listen to that roar! Quinn Meinerz lets fly and the place explodes!
This big-name player Luka Dončić motivates the squad in the huddle! Natural leader!
This guy everybody knows Nikola Jokić with a performance for the ages! An All-Star Game worthy play chapter!
This multi-time All-Star Luka Dončić seals the deal! Victory with ridiculous creativity!
Aragorn and Michael Jordan leap onto each other like kids. Luka Dončić comes sprinting in and crushes them both. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
117-96 (W)
Aragorn announces themselves! The military leader has arrived and the building knows it!
Quinn Meinerz, this raw talent, knifes through for an and-one at half court! Wow!
Nikola Jokić picks the pocket of the ball handler! Straight robbery!
This max-contract guy Luka Dončić with assist number lengths ahead! Natural-born leadership on display!
This household name Michael Jordan adjusts the angle mid-drive! A gym-rat work ethic body control!
That's a cut. Michael Jordan stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Confession: Michael Jordan tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Nikola Jokić converts at the buzzer! A two-handed slam with trademark iron discipline!
The crowd is on its feet! An incredible energy as Nikola Jokić takes the court!
Luka Dončić, this franchise guy, rotates on defense! Nerves of steel team commitment!
The stadium knows it! Nikola Jokić is special! This All-Star caliber talent writing legacy!
Nikola Jokić sits on the bench with a smile! This established star job well done!
Luka Dončić and Quinn Meinerz leap onto each other like kids. Michael Jordan comes sprinting in and crushes them both. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
118-97 (W)
This multi-time All-Star Nikola Jokić gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Luka Dončić, this oversized freak, carves up the defense for a tear drop! Beautiful!
Aragorn deflects the pass! Redirecting with military leader instincts!
Aragorn sets up the easy score! Easy as a military leader setting up the battle standard!
This bonafide star Aragorn uses the floater over this solid build coverage! Smart!
Halftime whistle! Aragorn grabs a towel and collapses on the bench. Did you know Aragorn knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Denver Horse-Track's colors. By accident, obviously. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Michael Jordan, this tree of a man, muscles in for a two-handed slam! Pure power!
Post-game fireworks for Aragorn! Brighter than the battle standard on a perfect day!
Luka Dončić puts ego aside! The team comes first for this headliner!
Win or lose, Quinn Meinerz has earned respect tonight! This hungry young player warrior spirit!
Luka Dončić hugs the coach! This guy everybody knows with a complete performance!
Luka Dončić runs to the coach and lifts the coach up. Not thrilled but smiles anyway. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
115-105 (W)
Luka Dončić looks dialed in from the start! An unmatched feel for the game preparation showing!
Aragorn with a fadeaway jumper to seal the deal! A military leader who always closes!
Michael Jordan forces the shot-clock violation! Next-level basketball IQ on full display!
Aragorn, this tweener, hits the cutter perfectly! A killer instinct right on time!
Nikola Jokić, this absolute unit, seals the defender for position! Fundamentals!
End of the second quarter. Michael Jordan is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Locker room anecdote: Michael Jordan talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Quinn Meinerz converts a tough bucket in transition! Skill level: elite!
Michael Jordan, this big fella, gets the standing ovation! A standing ovation!
Aragorn fades away the pill into the right hands! This franchise guy quarterback!
Michael Jordan, this tree of a man, is on a mission! Nothing can stop this generational talent right now!
Quinn Meinerz fades away in triumph! The final buzzer sounds! That's a W!
Quinn Meinerz slides across the court in his socks while Aragorn splashes water on everyone. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
100-115 (L)
This all-time great Michael Jordan catches the pill early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Michael Jordan, this tower, loses the handle and the opportunity! Shaky emotions under pressure!
Nikola Jokić crosses over into a trap! Tendency to rush when reading the defense!
Michael Jordan, this titan, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over injury-prone body!
Nikola Jokić with the tough scoop layup through contact! This franchise guy won't be denied!
Halftime. Luka Dončić wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Locker room intel: Luka Dončić has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
This max-contract guy Nikola Jokić shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Nikola Jokić, this certified bucket, pulls the trigger facing the rim but no luck!
Michael Jordan, this colossus, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! A gym-rat work ethic!
This unknown gem Quinn Meinerz can't close out! The legs are shot in transition!
This rising star Quinn Meinerz shakes hands and moves on. In the end, injury-prone body proved costly.
Aragorn taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. Michael Jordan walks through the door without pushing it. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
96-99 (L)
This franchise guy Luka Dončić means business! Fast start at half court!
Quinn Meinerz attacks in the paint and finishes with a floater! Too good!
Nikola Jokić, this giant, gets exploited in the switch! Hot head exposed in the mismatch!
This all-time great Michael Jordan misses the mark! A layup goes begging along the baseline!
Luka Dončić, this giant, drills the momentum shot! The building believes!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Michael Jordan picks up the pace. Anecdote: Michael Jordan threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Nikola Jokić misses in the clutch! A two-handed slam off the mark in the second half!
Nikola Jokić mouths off and picks up a T! Defense that's basically a suggestion taking over!
Nikola Jokić fires away with elegance and power! This established star is the complete package!
Aragorn picks up the offensive foul! A military leader charging like they charge at the war front!
Nikola Jokić had the chances but couldn't convert. This established star left wanting.
Quinn Meinerz takes a sip of water and spits it right back out. Nikola Jokić doesn't drink. Throat too tight. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
98-116 (L)
Quinn Meinerz, this do-it-all player, is introduced and the arena explodes! This surprise package is in the building!
Aragorn, this guy everybody knows, fumbles the finish from the right corner! Back to the drawing board!
Quinn Meinerz passes to nobody! This raw talent with a head-scratching decision!
Aragorn gets caught flat-footed! This top-tier talent beaten to the spot!
Aragorn hits the triple! Three points, three cheers for this military leader turned baller!
Heading in. Aragorn's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. They say Aragorn eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
Aragorn, this solid build, sits down hard on the bench! Occasional mental lapses written all over his face!
Luka Dončić takes a tough bank shot and it doesn't go! Ego the size of Texas in shot selection!
Quinn Meinerz, this who-is-this-guy player, manages the clock beautifully in the second quarter!
This reliable star Aragorn signals to the bench! Needs a blow! Hot head!
Michael Jordan, this tree of a man, hangs the head. Tough loss despite nerves of steel effort.
Nikola Jokić bites the inside of his cheek. Quinn Meinerz pinches the bridge of his nose. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
111-113 (L)
Michael Jordan, this all-time great, draws first blood! A scoop layup to start!
A tear drop by Michael Jordan! The crowd erupts! An unmatched feel for the game personified!
Quinn Meinerz scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Ego the size of Texas!
This diamond in the rough Quinn Meinerz rattles it out! So close yet so far facing the rim!
Luka Dončić, this walking skyscraper, energizes the crowd! A hostile crowd! Comeback vibes!
Halftime! Nikola Jokić has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Rumor has it Nikola Jokić tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
This once-in-a-lifetime player Michael Jordan misses the free throws! Heavy feet at the line!
Nikola Jokić gets a technical for complaining! Occasional mental lapses on full display!
Quinn Meinerz is the protagonist tonight! This rising star authoring a masterpiece!
Aragorn can't hit the open look in crunch time! The battle standard vision failing!
This franchise cornerstone Michael Jordan tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Quinn Meinerz's brow is furrowed, lips pressed thin. Luka Dončić breathes through his nose, hard, steady, trying to calm down. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
My Team ends the season #5 with a 10W-5L record. Season MVP: Michael Jordan.
Season Journal
Kill the cameras, turn off your phones, and shut your mouths because what we're about to witness tonight only happens once in a generation. We're in the belly of an arena where the floor trembles under the bass, where the Jumbotron spits fire, where 20,000 lunatics are screaming their heads off before the tip-off even happens. The franchise walking onto this court isn't a basketball club, it's a war machine forged in the pain of defeat and the madness of impossible comebacks. Every player here has gladiator blood in his veins and an ego size of Texas. The team with no name, baby!
Listen, I've watched hundreds of players come and go in my broadcasting career, but Michael Jordan is something else entirely. He's the kind of player who makes you jump out of your chair and scream "OH SHIT" at your TV without even realizing it. Standing at 198 cm, a wingspan like a pterodactyl, and a killer instinct that even the coaches can't explain. This man feels the game. He knows where the ball is going to land before the shot even leaves the hand. He reads passes like he's reading minds. At this level, it's not basketball anymore, it's straight-up sorcery.
The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins.
And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Aragorn. The man is a military leader. A freaking military leader. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with battle standard and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered.
Budget: unlimited. Well technically there's a limit, but the owner decided to ignore it. We're in repeater tax territory, where every extra dollar of payroll costs FIVE dollars in penalties. The front office sweats with every new contract, the accountant has quit three times this year, but the owner keeps signing checks. The result? An absolute dream roster, the kind of team you build in NBA 2K when you turn on cheat mode. The downside? Zero flexibility. No first-round Draft picks, no free agent signings, no wiggle room whatsoever. It's all or nothing. And tonight, it's gonna be all.
My Team ends the season #5 with a 10W-5L record. Season MVP: Michael Jordan.
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