Finna give BTA — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 5 | Denver Horse-Track | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Finna give BTA | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Stop. Everybody shut up. You feel that? That smell of freshly waxed hardwood, brand-new kicks, and electric tension hanging in the air? That's the smell of a night that's going down in the history books. We're in a building where every seat is taken, every eye is locked on the tunnel where a team that has thrilled generations is about to emerge. Championships, heartbreaks, legendary comebacks, midnight trades that shifted the entire balance of the league... This franchise is a damn novel all by itself. And tonight, we're starting the next chapter. Ladies and gentlemen... Finna give BTA! There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's LeBron James. Standing at 206 cm, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face. What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch. Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. David is on this team. David, who is a monarch and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with scepter under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world. Budget-wise, we're playing in "almost elite" territory. The owner reaches into his pockets without flinching, the GM has room to make moves, and the roster oozes competence. This is the team that can beat anyone in a seven-game series and scares the top seeds. The only problem? When you're chasing a title, "almost" is a damn dirty word. But tonight, we'll see if they can go from "almost" to "finally."
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
87-111 (L)
Jesus Christ, this do-it-all player, takes the court! The Playoff atmosphere is electric!
LeBron James, this absolute legend, sends the orange wide! The touch is off tonight!
David forces the pass! Forcing the scepter where it doesn't fit!
LeBron James overcommits and gets beat! Tendency to rush when reading the play!
A free throw by Kobe Bryant from way beyond the arc! Nerves of steel in every fiber!
Both teams head in. Mr. Incredible has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. I've been told Mr. Incredible once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
David can't hide the frustration! The scepter frustration meets the Spalding frustration!
LeBron James rushes a tear drop from the left corner! Shaky emotions under pressure creeping in!
Mr. Incredible exploits the mismatch! Finding weakness with their claims file acumen!
David calls for the sub! Even a monarch's stamina with the scepter has limits!
Mr. Incredible wipes a tear! A claims adjuster who poured everything into the effort!
David snaps at the bench on his way out. Mr. Incredible says nothing, but his look says everything. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
123-77 (W)
Kobe Bryant, this household name, draws first blood! A hook shot to start!
David goes baseline and scores! The realm's fate prepared them for this moment!
This global icon Kobe Bryant orchestrates the offense from the right corner! Maestro!
A step-back three from Mr. Incredible in the paint! That's a statement right there!
David with the chase-down defensive stop! Running like a monarch chasing the realm's fate!
Rest time. Jesus Christ isolates in a corner of the locker room, headphones on. Anecdote: Jesus Christ tried to impress the Miami Heart-Attack players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
A buzzer-beater from LeBron James! This generational talent just keeps delivering!
David piles it on! Stacking lengths ahead like it's nothing! The monarch is dominant!
Kobe Bryant trips over the ball! Even this generational talent has those moments!
This franchise cornerstone Kobe Bryant holds the follow-through! A finger to the lips to hush the crowd after a buzzer beater!
Jesus Christ finishes with a monster stat line! Numbers a messiah would be proud of!
Jesus Christ drops to his knees and kisses the court. David pretends to gag. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Jesus Christ's name. Forgive me. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
122-96 (W)
Kobe Bryant launches with energy from the opening whistle! This potential GOAT locked in!
David attacks and fires a two-handed slam! This do-it-all player lighting it up!
This basketball god David forces the bad pass! Scary good handles creating turnovers!
David finds them in the top of the key! Navigating the floor like a monarch navigates rush hour!
LeBron James, this oversized freak, seals the defender for position! Fundamentals!
Back in the locker room, LeBron James sits down and stares at the ceiling. Did you know LeBron James knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Orlando Magic-Beans's colors. By accident, obviously. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
An and-one from LeBron James! This household name is putting on a show tonight!
Mr. Incredible gets the loudest cheer! Louder than a claims adjuster's proudest moment!
Mr. Incredible barks out defensive calls! The voice of their claims file echoes across the venue!
Jesus Christ, this tweener, evolves before our eyes! A moment of truth!
Jesus Christ daps up the opposition! Class act, on and off the court!
Jesus Christ performs an absolutely ridiculous victory dance. David imitates it. It's worse. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
106-101 (W)
Kobe Bryant, this colossus, is introduced and the arena explodes! This household name is in the building!
David, this hall-of-fame lock, clamps down on the star player! Natural-born leadership on the assignment!
Jesus Christ, this smooth operator, loses the handle and the opportunity! Limited stamina!
Kobe Bryant, this hall-of-fame lock, with the exclamation-point catch-and-shoot triple! Game changer!
Mr. Incredible, this smooth operator, exploits the mismatch driving to the hoop! Smart play!
Halftime! Kobe Bryant checks his stats on the board and winces. Juicy anecdote: Kobe Bryant was caught dancing the Macarena in the showers. Alone. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
This generational talent David with nerves of steel! A pull-up jumper when it matters most!
Mr. Incredible with the help-side ball recovery! This dude out of nowhere always in position!
A sold-out gym on fire as Jesus Christ checks in for the final quarter! The messiah returns!
This living legend Kobe Bryant with the heroic iron-wall defense! Preserves the lead!
David hangs up the sneakers! Calling it a night, the monarch is done!
LeBron James jumps so high from joy he nearly touches the scoreboard. Almost. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
131-86 (W)
Kobe Bryant, this 7-footer, announced to huge cheers! A sold-out gym on fire!
Mr. Incredible launches the damn ball with flair and hits a bucket! Sensational!
Jesus Christ reads the defense like a book! Assist along the baseline! Nerves of steel!
Kobe Bryant crosses over and it's a buzzer-beater! This global icon proving the doubters wrong!
This guy with rings on every finger LeBron James takes the charge in transition! Gutsy play!
Halftime! LeBron James checks his stats on the board and winces. Anecdote: LeBron James fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
David, this absolute legend, drills another buzzer beater from the left corner! Automatic!
Kobe Bryant, this tree of a man, makes it look like practice! Total domination!
Mr. Incredible just analyzed the play using claims adjuster terminology! Makes sense actually!
Jesus Christ mimes competing after scoring! The crowd loves it!
Kobe Bryant, this first-ballot legend, high-fives the bench! A primal scream! Team effort!
LeBron James launches his shoe into the air. Kobe Bryant catches it. Standing ovation. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
105-97 (W)
This first-ballot legend LeBron James comes out aggressive! Opens with a finger roll at the top of the key!
Kobe Bryant, this hall-of-fame lock, drops a tear drop at the top of the key! Pure artistry!
Jesus Christ times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A monster swat facing the rim!
Mr. Incredible, this hidden prospect, sets the table in the paint! Assist master!
Jesus Christ lets fly with purpose every possession! This once-in-a-lifetime player chess master!
Break time. Mr. Incredible bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Did you know Mr. Incredible keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Jesus Christ spins and scores! Those messiah hands work wonders with the Wilson!
Jesus Christ gets a packed arena every time they step on the gymnasium! The messiah aura!
Kobe Bryant, this big fella, anchors the second unit! This undisputed superstar versatile contributor!
LeBron James, this tower, is on a mission! Nothing can stop this franchise cornerstone right now!
Final buzzer! Jesus Christ's messiah shift on the venue ends in triumph!
LeBron James and David do the conga. Alone. On an empty court. Nobody joins in. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
100-97 (W)
LeBron James launches onto the floor! The crowd roars for this global icon!
Mr. Incredible, this do-it-all player, with the clutch crucial offensive board! The crowd is on its feet!
Kobe Bryant, this absolute unit, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this all-time great!
Kobe Bryant with the and-one free throw! Silky smooth technique through the whistle!
This hall-of-fame lock LeBron James recognizes the over-help and punishes it!
End of the first act. LeBron James is puffing like a steam engine heading back. They say LeBron James eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
This dude out of nowhere Mr. Incredible converts the and-one on the decisive possession! Three-point play!
Kobe Bryant pressures the inbound! This all-time great with relentless scary good handles!
Mr. Incredible feeds off a Playoff atmosphere! The energy of a claims adjuster fueled by the insurance claim!
Mr. Incredible nails an alley-oop with the shot clock winding down! Clutch!
David tallied double figures! Double the realm's fate, double the glory!
David and LeBron James lap the court arm in arm, singing. Off-key. Did you know that Jesus Christ practices messiah on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
120-103 (W)
The game begins and Mr. Incredible is ready! You can see silky smooth technique written all over his face!
Jesus Christ floats one at the top of the key! Delicate as a messiah with their bare hands!
This all-time great LeBron James with the weak-side flawless defensive rotation! Incredible help!
David times the pass perfectly! Timing of a monarch with the scepter!
This absolute legend Kobe Bryant recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
The players disappear. LeBron James has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. They say LeBron James eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
Mr. Incredible steps back and delivers a step-back three! Their claims file by day, buckets by night!
Kobe Bryant, this walking skyscraper, gestures for more noise! The crowd goes nuts!
Mr. Incredible draws the attention! Magnetic presence, the claims adjuster aura is undeniable!
LeBron James is writing the story tonight! This once-in-a-lifetime player with a step-back three back to the basket!
LeBron James can breathe! The win is secured, it's over!
Jesus Christ rips off his jersey and launches it into the crowd. Kobe Bryant does the same. The coach rolls his eyes. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
113-86 (W)
LeBron James, this beanpole, sets the tone immediately! A gym-rat work ethic from the jump!
David scores on the putback! Recycling the realm's fate is second nature for a monarch!
Jesus Christ hounds the ball handler! Tenacious as a messiah with their bare hands!
David takes off the basketball through traffic! What a pass by this first-ballot legend!
This all-time great David runs the pick-and-pop to perfection! Tactical mastery!
Cut! Halftime. David's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Fun fact: David failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Jesus Christ knocks it down! Solid as a messiah with their bare hands in hand!
A packed arena, all because of a monarch named David with the realm's fate!
David dishes the outlet to the young player! This basketball god building the future!
From the workshop to the hardwood, Jesus Christ brings precision worthy of their bare hands!
Mr. Incredible pumps the fist as the buzzer goes! This hidden prospect savors the win!
Jesus Christ does the floss while David spins like a top. Mr. Incredible just stands there, arms crossed. Cool. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
89-106 (L)
Jesus Christ takes the court to palpable tension! The messiah with their bare hands is here!
LeBron James attacks the Wilson into the front rim! That's frustrating for this potential GOAT!
Kobe Bryant, this tree of a man, gets the ball poked away! Heavy feet when protecting the damn ball!
Kobe Bryant gets posted up and scored on! This franchise cornerstone overpowered!
This potential GOAT Kobe Bryant with a picture-perfect euro-step! The crowd goes wild!
Halftime whistle. LeBron James spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Exclusive: LeBron James was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
LeBron James spins away from the huddle! This first-ballot legend in a dark place mentally!
Kobe Bryant, this walking skyscraper, gets stuffed trying a tear drop! Denied!
Mr. Incredible calls the audible! Adapting on the fly, that's claims adjuster mentality!
This certified GOAT candidate Jesus Christ has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
This potential GOAT LeBron James leaves the temple of basketball with head held high. Fought to the end.
LeBron James kicks his towel across the floor. Jesus Christ has already left for the locker room, alone. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
98-100 (L)
Jesus Christ sets the tone early! The messiah came to play tonight!
Mr. Incredible finishes through contact! Built tough from handling their claims file!
Jesus Christ gets blown by! Even a messiah couldn't stop that!
David bricks it! Not the same accuracy as decreing the realm's fate!
Kobe Bryant sparks the comeback! A floater at the top of the key! This guy with rings on every finger leads the charge!
The locker room fills up. Jesus Christ has already eaten three oranges. I've been told Jesus Christ always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
Kobe Bryant with the ill-advised pass in the second half! Intercepted!
David storms to the bench! This all-time great is visibly upset!
Kobe Bryant spins with the fire of a thousand suns! He's on fire!
This potential GOAT LeBron James picks up the foul in the money time! Terrible timing!
LeBron James sits alone on the bench. This potential GOAT processing the defeat.
Kobe Bryant kicks his towel across the floor. David has already left for the locker room, alone. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
98-104 (L)
Mr. Incredible, this potential breakout star, embraces the electric crowd! Game on!
This basketball god Kobe Bryant short-arms a sky hook in transition! Not enough lift!
Mr. Incredible throws it into the stands! What was that from this diamond in the rough!
This certified GOAT candidate Kobe Bryant caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Mr. Incredible finishes the fast break! Sprinting like a claims adjuster who's running late!
The players disappear. Jesus Christ has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. They say Jesus Christ eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
Mr. Incredible kicks the air! The frustration of a claims adjuster who knows they can do better!
Jesus Christ shanks it from the low post! Competing the game uses different muscles!
Kobe Bryant slows the pace when the team needs it! This potential GOAT tempo control!
This potential GOAT Kobe Bryant can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
Jesus Christ reflects on what could have been. Heavy feet the difference tonight.
Kobe Bryant taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. LeBron James walks through the door without pushing it. I got a text from Kobe Bryant after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
82-124 (L)
And we're underway! Kobe Bryant touches the leather first! This global icon looks eager!
Kobe Bryant, this undisputed superstar, with a contested off-balance shot that misses along the baseline!
Intercepted! David's pass snatched right out of the air! A monarch would never be that careless!
LeBron James gives up the back door! Hot head when overplaying!
Mr. Incredible stares in disbelief! The look of a claims adjuster who just lost everything!
Cut! Halftime. LeBron James's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Anecdote of the day: LeBron James forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Kobe Bryant dishes but the shot rims out! Occasional mental lapses rears its ugly head!
Mr. Incredible misses the rotation! Too tired, like a claims adjuster too tired for the insurance claim!
Kobe Bryant fires away into a dead end at the buzzer! Turnover! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
LeBron James, this mountain of a man, shows negative body language! Defense that's basically a suggestion creeping in!
Mr. Incredible consoles teammates! The heart of a claims adjuster in that moment!
Kobe Bryant's gaze is cold, distant. David's gaze is hot, angry. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
81-113 (L)
Kobe Bryant looks dialed in from the start! Night-in night-out consistency preparation showing!
This franchise cornerstone LeBron James whiffs on a fadeaway jumper! The crowd groans!
Turnover by Jesus Christ! Competing the game requires less coordination, clearly!
LeBron James loses the screen battle! Hot head around the picks!
Mr. Incredible mouths off during crunch time! A claims adjuster venting about the insurance claim!
Cut! Halftime. Kobe Bryant's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Small detail: Kobe Bryant whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
A pull-up jumper from Kobe Bryant catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
Kobe Bryant short-arms the shot from fatigue! This undisputed superstar has nothing left!
This guy with rings on every finger LeBron James with turnover number points! Hot head is piling up!
David pounds the scorer's table! Frustrated! The monarch in them is showing!
David spins to the tunnel in disappointment. This basketball god will learn from this.
Jesus Christ hurls his water bottle at the wall. Kobe Bryant flinches but doesn't react. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
90-130 (L)
David fires up the crowd to open the game! This once-in-a-lifetime player starting strong!
Jesus Christ misses during crunch time! A messiah dropping the game at the worst time!
Kobe Bryant with the backcourt violation! This franchise cornerstone under too much pressure!
David beaten to the spot! Slower than a monarch on a Monday morning!
Jesus Christ argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to competing the game!
The players disappear. Mr. Incredible has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Quick anecdote about Mr. Incredible: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
LeBron James, this walking skyscraper, gets the separation but can't finish! Sometimes predictable game!
LeBron James, this certified GOAT candidate, is dragging! The contest minutes taking their toll!
Kobe Bryant with the errant pass! This absolute legend needs to settle down!
This surprise package Mr. Incredible fouls hard out of frustration! Injury-prone body showing!
David walks off in defeat! Even a monarch's skills couldn't save tonight!
Jesus Christ's eyes are red, jaw tight. Mr. Incredible apologizes to the coach, voice cracking. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Finna give BTA ends the season #8 with a 8W-7L record. Season MVP: LeBron James.
Season Journal
Stop. Everybody shut up. You feel that? That smell of freshly waxed hardwood, brand-new kicks, and electric tension hanging in the air? That's the smell of a night that's going down in the history books. We're in a building where every seat is taken, every eye is locked on the tunnel where a team that has thrilled generations is about to emerge. Championships, heartbreaks, legendary comebacks, midnight trades that shifted the entire balance of the league... This franchise is a damn novel all by itself. And tonight, we're starting the next chapter. Ladies and gentlemen... Finna give BTA!
There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's LeBron James. Standing at 206 cm, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face.
What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch.
Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. David is on this team. David, who is a monarch and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with scepter under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world.
Budget-wise, we're playing in "almost elite" territory. The owner reaches into his pockets without flinching, the GM has room to make moves, and the roster oozes competence. This is the team that can beat anyone in a seven-game series and scares the top seeds. The only problem? When you're chasing a title, "almost" is a damn dirty word. But tonight, we'll see if they can go from "almost" to "finally."
Finna give BTA ends the season #8 with a 8W-7L record. Season MVP: LeBron James.
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