My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | New York Over-Timers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Houston Blast-Off | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Phoenix No-Defense | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | My Team | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. The team with no name, baby! Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's Michael Jordan. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 198 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly. And the most terrifying thing about him? It's not the stats, it's not the size, it's the calm. You know that moment where the arena is on its feet, the clock is ticking down the final seconds, sweat is pouring... And he's just chewing his gum like he's waiting for the bus? Then he loads up. And drains it. Stone cold. In front of 20,000 people on the verge of cardiac arrest. That's what a franchise player is: the guy who carries everyone on his shoulders and still makes it look easy. Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. Hulk is on this team. Hulk, who is a scientist and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with their lab notebook under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world. The budget is like the guy who goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, orders one entree and splits the dessert. It's not poverty, but it's not the high life either. They've got a decent roster, nobody's complaining, but nobody's saying "damn, what a squad" either. Solid without being spectacular. The kind of team that beats you on a Tuesday and you've forgotten about them by Wednesday morning. But underestimate them and they'll make you pay.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
78-122 (L)
Galactus, this smooth operator, takes the court! The Playoff atmosphere is electric!
Hulk dishes the Spalding into the front rim! That's frustrating for this guy with rings on every finger!
This raw talent Roronoa Zoro gets pickpocketed from the left corner! Sloppy handling!
This absolute legend Michael Jordan can't recover! Scored on from way beyond the arc! Lack of consistency!
Galactus drops the head after another miss! Occasional mental lapses sapping the confidence!
Halftime. The doctor examines Roronoa Zoro's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Anecdote: Roronoa Zoro fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Galactus fires an off-balance shot under the basket but can't connect! Lack of consistency showing!
This diamond in the rough Galactus has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
Hulk trips up in the corner! A scientist never trips at work... Right?
Clark Kent, this all-around player, waves off the play call! Defense that's basically a suggestion hurting the team!
Michael Jordan drives to the tunnel in disappointment. This first-ballot legend will learn from this.
Hulk has bags under his eyes that weren't there before the game. Roronoa Zoro has aged ten years in forty minutes. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. Thanks for watching this game. And now: 'Deal or No Deal: Office Fridge Edition.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
93-124 (L)
Clark Kent, this newcomer, embraces the Finals-like atmosphere! Game on!
Clark Kent, this total unknown, fumbles the finish from the left corner! Back to the drawing board!
Roronoa Zoro with a wild pass that sails out! This potential breakout star giving it away!
Clark Kent turns the head and loses the man! This diamond in the rough napping defensively!
Galactus, this solid build, muscles in for a pull-up jumper! Pure power!
The locker room fills up. Michael Jordan has already eaten three oranges. I've been told Michael Jordan always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Galactus, this raw talent, refuses to high-five! Injury-prone body hurting the chemistry!
Roronoa Zoro shoots but the shot rims out! Hot head rears its ugly head!
Hulk exploits the mismatch! Finding weakness with their lab notebook acumen!
This newcomer Galactus can barely jump! The springs are gone at the top of the key!
Hulk takes the loss hard! Hard as the hidden truth on a bad scientist day!
Clark Kent walks like someone carrying the weight of the world. Roronoa Zoro drags one foot after the other. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Clark Kent's name. Forgive me. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
89-133 (L)
Game time! Galactus and this player nobody saw coming ready to put on a show at the gym!
Galactus forces a devastating dunk facing the rim! This rising star trying too hard!
Hulk coughs up the ball! Limited stamina strikes again at half court!
Clark Kent reacts too late to rotate! Shaky emotions under pressure on the help side!
Roronoa Zoro rises up the towel! This raw talent showing defense that's basically a suggestion!
The players head to the locker room. Clark Kent is sweating like a racehorse. Did you know Clark Kent entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
This living legend Michael Jordan puts up a finger roll but it won't fall! Off night!
Clark Kent, this surprise package, sucking wind after that sprint! The allotted time of battle!
Clark Kent shoots the rock right to the defense! Costly mistake by this newcomer!
This dude out of nowhere Clark Kent hangs the head after the miss! Deflated in transition!
Roronoa Zoro, this newcomer, takes the loss hard. Occasional mental lapses at the wrong moments.
Hulk snaps at the bench on his way out. Michael Jordan says nothing, but his look says everything. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. Thanks for watching. Coming up: '48 Hours: The Secret Life of Roundabouts.' Essential viewing.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
95-130 (L)
Tip-off! Galactus gets us started! Let's go!
Hulk can't finish! The scientist who finishes the hidden truth can't finish the play!
Michael Jordan with the lazy pass! Sometimes predictable game leading to easy points!
Hulk loses their assignment! Like losing their lab notebook in the workshop!
Michael Jordan mouths off and picks up a T! Tendency to rush taking over!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Clark Kent asks for an ice pack. Did you know Clark Kent started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Second half! The crowd is on its feet, and so are the players.
A buzzer-beater attempt by Roronoa Zoro falls short! Tendency to rush in the legs!
Michael Jordan pulls up sluggishly! Tendency to rush catching up with this basketball god!
Hulk with the errant pass! This franchise cornerstone needs to settle down!
This newcomer Galactus can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Hulk gave it everything! Everything a scientist has, left on the court!
Michael Jordan stands alone at center court as the lights go dim. Hulk comes back to get him. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Michael Jordan's name. Forgive me. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
81-126 (L)
And we're underway! Roronoa Zoro touches the leather first! This unknown gem looks eager!
Galactus, this tweener, bobbles the leather and the chance evaporates on the low block!
This hall-of-fame lock Michael Jordan forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Hulk left in the dust! Even a scientist moves faster than that!
This diamond in the rough Galactus slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
Back to the locker room. Hulk's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Did you know Hulk plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Galactus can't buy a bucket! Another miss back to the basket! Frustrating!
Roronoa Zoro takes off but the legs won't cooperate! Heavy feet catching up!
Michael Jordan, this walking skyscraper, steps out of bounds with the basketball! Mental lapse!
Michael Jordan storms to the bench! This potential GOAT is visibly upset!
Roronoa Zoro, this all-around player, trudges off the gymnasium. Lessons to take from this one.
Clark Kent pulls his cap down over his eyes. Roronoa Zoro doesn't have a cap, and it shows. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
74-118 (L)
This player nobody saw coming Clark Kent gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Clark Kent forces a bad catch-and-shoot triple! This raw talent needs to trust teammates!
Michael Jordan, this giant, fumbles the entry pass at the buzzer!
Michael Jordan gives up the back door! Hot head when overplaying!
Galactus, this swiss-army-knife type, sits down hard on the bench! Defense that's basically a suggestion written all over his face!
Halftime! Clark Kent checks his stats on the board and winces. Little secret: Clark Kent listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
Hulk misses the runner! Stick to the day job, buddy!
Hulk is running on pure willpower! This undisputed superstar refusing to quit!
Hulk dispossessed! Couldn't hold on, not the scientist's finest moment!
Michael Jordan slams the basketball in frustration! Shaky emotions under pressure on full display!
Michael Jordan walks off in silence. This guy with rings on every finger gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Clark Kent sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. Roronoa Zoro winces. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. Thanks for watching. Coming up: '48 Hours: The Secret Life of Roundabouts.' Essential viewing.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
82-126 (L)
This who-is-this-guy player Roronoa Zoro catches the leather early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Galactus, this solid build, loses the handle and the opportunity! Occasional mental lapses!
Hulk throws it away! A pass worse than a scientist tossing the hidden truth!
Clark Kent, this versatile guy, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over injury-prone body!
Michael Jordan glares at the scoreboard! This undisputed superstar not happy with the situation!
Coach calls everyone back. Clark Kent drags his feet toward the tunnel. True story: Clark Kent walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Toronto Border-Patrol. Awkward. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Clark Kent, this tweener, draws the foul but can't capitalize! Sometimes predictable game!
Galactus asks for the ball to slow the pace! This rising star needs air!
This who-is-this-guy player Clark Kent commits the 5-second violation! Clock management sometimes predictable game!
Hulk, this guy with rings on every finger, with the frustrated foul! Occasional mental lapses in tough moments!
Roronoa Zoro had the chances but couldn't convert. This hidden prospect left wanting.
Galactus punches his locker when he gets to the locker room. Hulk slides down the wall to the floor. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
81-126 (L)
This undisputed superstar Michael Jordan comes out firing! An and-one in the first minute!
Roronoa Zoro, this combo guard, wastes a golden chance with a wild double-clutch layup!
This basketball god Michael Jordan with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
Galactus, this tweener, gets dunked on at the buzzer! Poster material!
Hulk mouths off on a clutch free throw! A scientist venting about the hidden truth!
Break! Clark Kent takes his jersey off before even reaching the locker room. Did you know Clark Kent once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
Michael Jordan, this certified GOAT candidate, pulls the trigger at the top of the key but no luck!
Hulk drags their feet! Heavy as their lab notebook at the end of a shift!
This global icon Michael Jordan commits the offensive foul! Turnover on the low block!
Hulk fires away angrily after the turnover! This global icon spiraling!
Roronoa Zoro sits alone on the bench. This diamond in the rough processing the defeat.
Galactus snaps at the bench on his way out. Hulk says nothing, but his look says everything. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
88-132 (L)
Galactus shoots with energy from the opening whistle! This potential breakout star locked in!
Galactus fades away the damn ball into nothing! Lack of consistency on full display tonight!
Galactus, this tweener, commits the travel! Tendency to force bad shots in the footwork!
Roronoa Zoro gets burned on the drive! Limited stamina in lateral movement!
Michael Jordan gets a technical for complaining! Defense that's basically a suggestion on full display!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Clark Kent asks for an ice pack. Anecdote: Clark Kent threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
Clark Kent, this raw talent, comes up empty! A catch-and-shoot triple off target along the baseline!
Roronoa Zoro, this dude out of nowhere, is dragging! The this ball game minutes taking their toll!
Galactus attacks carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
This rising star Galactus stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
This household name Michael Jordan leaves the venue with head held high. Fought to the end.
Clark Kent isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Roronoa Zoro tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. Tonight I learned Clark Kent used to be a volunteer firefighter before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
80-125 (L)
Roronoa Zoro, this do-it-all player, sets the tone immediately! An off-the-charts basketball IQ from the jump!
Roronoa Zoro, this do-it-all player, gets stuffed trying a pull-up jumper! Denied!
Michael Jordan dunks into a trap! Tendency to rush when reading the defense!
Galactus, this tweener, can't keep up with the speed! Hot head exposed!
This first-ballot legend Michael Jordan throws an elbow in frustration! Ego the size of Texas on full display!
Halftime. Michael Jordan's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Little scoop: Michael Jordan logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Roronoa Zoro launches a pull-up jumper and... Airball! Tendency to force bad shots at its peak!
Roronoa Zoro is cramping up! This total unknown trying to shake it off! Sometimes predictable game!
Roronoa Zoro passes to nobody! This raw talent with a head-scratching decision!
Galactus explodes and kicks the stanchion! This newcomer losing composure!
Michael Jordan launches past the media. This household name not in the mood to talk.
Roronoa Zoro bites the inside of his cheek. Hulk pinches the bridge of his nose. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
76-120 (L)
Clark Kent, this solid build, announced to huge cheers! A Finals-like atmosphere!
Galactus, this all-around player, gets the look but can't convert under the basket!
Roronoa Zoro, this all-around player, gets stripped in transition! Heavy feet exposed!
Clark Kent gambles for the steal and pays the price! Injury-prone body!
Michael Jordan, this beanpole, pounds the scorer's table! Tendency to rush on full display!
Halftime. Galactus is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Rumor has it Galactus talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Clark Kent, this potential breakout star, with a contested thunderous slam that misses in transition!
This generational talent Michael Jordan signals to the bench! Needs a blow! Hot head!
Galactus loses the orange in traffic! This newcomer can't afford that!
Clark Kent, this unknown gem, barks at the teammate! Hot head taking over!
This first-ballot legend Michael Jordan tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Hulk leaves the court at a jog. Michael Jordan stays there, planted at center court, motionless. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
74-118 (L)
Roronoa Zoro, this smooth operator, is introduced and the arena explodes! This dark horse is in the building!
Clark Kent, this all-around player, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this dark horse!
Roronoa Zoro, this smooth operator, gets the ball poked away! Limited stamina when protecting the leather!
Roronoa Zoro gets crossed over! This surprise package left frozen back to the basket!
This certified GOAT candidate Hulk gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Break! Michael Jordan heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. Fun fact: Michael Jordan was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Hulk misses! Even a scientist can't fix that shot!
Roronoa Zoro misses from fatigue! This who-is-this-guy player can't get the elevation facing the rim!
Roronoa Zoro attacks into a dead end at the top of the key! Turnover! Occasional mental lapses!
Galactus can't mask the disappointment! This diamond in the rough wearing it on the sleeve!
Hulk, this smooth operator, hangs the head. Tough loss despite insane court vision effort.
Hulk has bags under his eyes that weren't there before the game. Clark Kent has aged ten years in forty minutes. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
74-118 (L)
This newcomer Galactus means business! Fast start at the top of the key!
Hulk can't convert! The scientist's touch with the hidden truth deserted them!
This hidden prospect Roronoa Zoro dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Michael Jordan loses the screen battle! Shaky emotions under pressure around the picks!
This player nobody saw coming Clark Kent fouls hard out of frustration! Shaky emotions under pressure showing!
Halftime. Galactus throws his towel on the floor walking in. Small detail: Galactus whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. Break's over, the players take their positions.
Hulk gets the friendly rim but no luck! Even the scientist touch can't save that one!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Michael Jordan stumbles! The fatigue is real after the 48 regulation minutes!
Michael Jordan, this colossus, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted in transition!
Hulk throws their hands up! Like a scientist when their lab notebook breaks!
This raw talent Galactus congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this raw talent.
Clark Kent and Roronoa Zoro walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
85-130 (L)
Michael Jordan opens with a pull-up jumper! This undisputed superstar making an early statement!
Galactus can't hit the ocean right now! Another miss for this dark horse!
Roronoa Zoro throws it into the stands! What was that from this unknown gem!
This dude out of nowhere Galactus bites on the fake! Beaten in the paint!
Hulk walks away muttering! Muttering about the hidden truth under their breath!
Halftime. Clark Kent throws his towel on the floor walking in. Exclusive: Clark Kent was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Brick! Roronoa Zoro misfires off the pick and roll! Sometimes predictable game at the worst time!
This potential breakout star Roronoa Zoro calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Heavy feet taking its toll!
Michael Jordan, this mammoth, gets called for the carry! Hot head in ball-handling!
Michael Jordan, this 7-footer, throws the hands up! Exasperated off the pick and roll!
This newcomer Clark Kent shakes hands and moves on. In the end, limited stamina proved costly.
Galactus taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. Hulk walks through the door without pushing it. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
85-130 (L)
This absolute legend Michael Jordan in the starting lineup! Let's see what this absolute legend brings!
Clark Kent fires away the Spalding but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
Michael Jordan charges right into the defender! Turnover! Heavy feet when controlling pace!
Galactus bites on the pump fake! This dude out of nowhere sent flying on the low block!
Roronoa Zoro spins away from the huddle! This hungry young player in a dark place mentally!
Halftime. Clark Kent throws his towel on the floor walking in. Intel: Clark Kent once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
This certified GOAT candidate Hulk whiffs on a tear drop! The crowd groans!
Hulk looks to the bench for relief! Relief like a scientist relieved of their lab notebook!
Roronoa Zoro throws it away! Sometimes predictable game under pressure from the right corner!
Michael Jordan picks up the second technical! This first-ballot legend ejected! Limited stamina!
This certified GOAT candidate Michael Jordan stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this certified GOAT candidate wanted.
Clark Kent sits on the bench, staring into nothing. Roronoa Zoro has his head in his hands. Evening confession: I'm wearing Clark Kent's jersey under my shirt. For morale. And now, a brand new episode of 'Desperately Seeking My Cat.' Good night, everyone.
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Michael Jordan.
Season Journal
Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. The team with no name, baby!
Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's Michael Jordan. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 198 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly.
And the most terrifying thing about him? It's not the stats, it's not the size, it's the calm. You know that moment where the arena is on its feet, the clock is ticking down the final seconds, sweat is pouring... And he's just chewing his gum like he's waiting for the bus? Then he loads up. And drains it. Stone cold. In front of 20,000 people on the verge of cardiac arrest. That's what a franchise player is: the guy who carries everyone on his shoulders and still makes it look easy.
Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. Hulk is on this team. Hulk, who is a scientist and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with their lab notebook under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world.
The budget is like the guy who goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, orders one entree and splits the dessert. It's not poverty, but it's not the high life either. They've got a decent roster, nobody's complaining, but nobody's saying "damn, what a squad" either. Solid without being spectacular. The kind of team that beats you on a Tuesday and you've forgotten about them by Wednesday morning. But underestimate them and they'll make you pay.
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Michael Jordan.
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