My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 3 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | New York Over-Timers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | My Team | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Phoenix No-Defense | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to what is probably going to be the most electric night of this season. The arena is packed to the rafters, there are people standing in the corridors, security gave up trying to control anything, and the DJ is blasting so loud the scoreboard is vibrating. We are here to talk about a legendary franchise. A team that has seen sacred monsters pass through, that has lived through dream seasons and nightmare years, that has rebuilt ten times over and always comes back with the same devouring hunger. The team with no name, baby! Alright, let's not kid ourselves, if the arena is packed to the gills, it's because of THE phenomenon. This guy isn't just a basketball player, he's a walking cheat code on the hardwood: give it up for Michael Jordan! Picture this: standing at 198 cm, but he handles the rock with the agility of a 5'10" point guard and launches missiles from 30 feet like he's at shootaround. When he attacks the paint, it's simple, he's a freight train: either you get out of the way, or you end up on his poster doing the rounds on social media for a week straight. The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around. Okay, this is either pure genius or a complete mental breakdown, I honestly can't tell yet. The wild card, the stroke of brilliance or insanity depending on how many beers you've had, is that the coach decided to pull a move never before seen in league history: he signed Goku, his brother-in-law and a farmer by trade, on a ten-day contract. The guy showed up to the bench wearing a bucket hat, carrying seed dibber and a cooler, surrounded by 7-foot giants who weigh three times as much. Apparently the coach's theory is that if Goku can place a basketball with the same precision he uses for stubborn soil to "bullseye" the opposing center's head, we've got the play of the century. So far, the guy's biggest achievement is attempting a three-pointer with an underhand toss and asking the ref where the jack ball was. It's absolute madness, the fans are split between hysterical laughter and total despair, but one thing's for sure: no one's ever seen a timeout with such a strong smell of beef jerky and cheap beer on the bench. Now listen up, the owner has pulled out the checkbook and he's willing to eat the luxury tax penalties. We're in the big leagues. Two max contracts, well-paid veterans on every corner. They're all-in. Every extra dollar spent costs them three in taxes, but they don't care: they want to raise that trophy in June and they've got the firepower to back it up.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
96-124 (L)
Jesus Christ bounces the orange pre-game! Getting that rhythm going!
Jesus Christ, this smooth operator, gets the look back to the basket but the lid's on the rim!
Goku throws it away! A pass worse than a farmer tossing the stubborn soil!
Michael Jordan, this walking skyscraper, gets blown by on the perimeter! Lack of consistency in the legs!
A catch-and-shoot triple! Stephen Curry cannot be stopped tonight! This franchise guy is locked in!
Halftime whistle. Michael Jordan has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Intel: Michael Jordan asked Detroit Engine-Roar for their energy drink recipe. They refused. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Jesus Christ glares at the scoreboard! This franchise cornerstone not happy with the situation!
Jesus Christ can't find the range! Their bare hands has better accuracy than that!
Jesus Christ calls the audible! Adapting on the fly, that's messiah mentality!
Stephen Curry, this combo guard, looks exhausted in transition! The legs are gone!
Michael Jordan pulls up past the media. This certified GOAT candidate not in the mood to talk.
Goku has bags under his eyes that weren't there before the game. Jesus Christ has aged ten years in forty minutes. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
135-89 (W)
Goku takes the court to a Finals-like atmosphere! The farmer with the seed dibber is here!
Jesus Christ goes coast to coast for an and-one! This first-ballot legend is relentless!
This first-ballot legend Kobe Bryant leads the fast break and dishes! Easy bucket off the assist!
Goku banks it in transition! A farmer's steady hand at work!
Stephen Curry pressures the inbound! This reliable star with relentless iron discipline!
First half is done. Goku is chugging Gatorade like it's water. Small detail: Goku whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
This living legend Kobe Bryant goes to work off the pick and roll! A deep three drops beautifully!
Michael Jordan fades away and it's too easy! The lead is ballooning! Mercy rule!
This multi-time All-Star Stephen Curry trash talks then immediately misses! Karma!
Stephen Curry steps back to center court! A raised fist! This elite player owns the moment!
Goku wraps up with a double-double! Double duty: the seed dibber and the Wilson!
Kobe Bryant and Jesus Christ do celebratory push-ups. Goku counts out loud. Definitely cheating. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
115-103 (W)
Jesus Christ begins their shift on the field house! A messiah starting the their bare hands shift!
This global icon Michael Jordan capitalizes on the low block! A catch-and-shoot triple with ridiculous creativity!
Stephen Curry, this tweener, swats it into the third row! A drawn charge!
Jesus Christ facilitates beautifully! The facilitator who competes the game!
Stephen Curry uses the hesitation dribble! Silky smooth technique creating separation!
Halftime whistle. Kobe Bryant spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Did you know Kobe Bryant keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
Michael Jordan attacks back to the basket and finishes with a thunderous slam! Too good!
Kids in the stands mimic Goku's cultivating celebration! Adorable!
Jesus Christ, this tweener, sets the perfect screen! Iron discipline for the team!
This absolute legend Jesus Christ digs deep! Finding reserves nobody knew existed!
Jesus Christ, this all-around player, takes the final bow! A bench mob celebration! Dominant display!
Jesus Christ takes a bow for the crowd. Michael Jordan bows to Jesus Christ. The nobility of basketball. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
124-79 (W)
Jesus Christ blows past with energy from the opening whistle! This hall-of-fame lock locked in!
Michael Jordan with an incredible hook shot from the right corner! Standing ovation!
Jesus Christ, this tweener, drops the dime! Iron discipline passing on display!
Jesus Christ pulls up the pill beautifully for a bucket! What touch!
Michael Jordan draws the offensive foul! Smart play, great positioning!
Finally a breather. Jesus Christ has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Anecdote: Jesus Christ lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
This headliner Goku with a cold-blooded bank shot! No conscience!
Jesus Christ showboats with a finger to the lips to hush the crowd! Even the game gets a rest in blowouts!
This first-ballot legend Jesus Christ passes to the opponent! Gift exchange from mid-range!
Kobe Bryant, this certified GOAT candidate, cups the ear to the crowd! A team high-five! They want more!
Michael Jordan daps up the opponent! Respect from this household name after the battle!
Goku and Stephen Curry cradle the game ball like a baby. Jesus Christ takes a photo. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
99-103 (L)
Goku starts in the defensive anchor! Playing the defensive anchor the way a farmer plays with the seed dibber!
This basketball god Michael Jordan with a picture-perfect pull-up jumper! The crowd goes wild!
Michael Jordan gets screened out of the play! This undisputed superstar lost in traffic!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Kobe Bryant rattles it out! So close yet so far back to the basket!
Jesus Christ fights through fatigue! That messiah toughness is for real!
That's a wrap for now. Michael Jordan dives into the tunnel. Physio's confession: Michael Jordan purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Kobe Bryant misfires on the potential dagger! This certified GOAT candidate lets them off the hook!
Kobe Bryant, this giant, pounds the scorer's table! Sometimes predictable game on full display!
Kobe Bryant has found another gear! This undisputed superstar shifting into overdrive!
Stephen Curry, this solid build, rattles out the free throw! Injury-prone body getting the best of this multi-time All-Star!
This all-time great Kobe Bryant shakes hands and moves on. In the end, shaky emotions under pressure proved costly.
Jesus Christ and Stephen Curry walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
108-98 (W)
Kobe Bryant, this tree of a man, announced to huge cheers! A standing ovation!
Jesus Christ knocks down a layup from downtown! Ice in the veins!
Michael Jordan, this big fella, erases the shot at the rim! Rim protector!
This all-time great Jesus Christ with assist number points! An unmatched feel for the game on display!
Stephen Curry, this tweener, exploits the mismatch off the pick and roll! Smart play!
Halftime! Stephen Curry has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Confession: Stephen Curry calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Kobe Bryant, this towering presence, showcases freakish explosiveness with a gorgeous scoop layup!
The road crowd tries to rally but Goku silences them! A sold-out gym on fire!
Stephen Curry brings energy off the bench! This multi-time All-Star infectious enthusiasm!
Jesus Christ embodies the spirit of every messiah who ever dreamed of a bucket!
Michael Jordan can breathe! The win is secured, it's over!
Goku cries tears of joy in Jesus Christ's arms. Kobe Bryant is also crying but nobody knows why. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
117-101 (W)
Jesus Christ, this smooth operator, sets the tone immediately! Eyes in the back of the head from the jump!
Michael Jordan pulls up and drills a buzzer beater! Can't teach that!
Jesus Christ, this once-in-a-lifetime player, shuts down the play in transition! Lockdown defender!
Goku picks apart the defense! Dissecting every move with farmer precision!
This franchise guy Stephen Curry runs the pick-and-pop to perfection! Tactical mastery!
Break. Jesus Christ collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. Fun fact: Jesus Christ tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
Michael Jordan spins the Wilson into a bank shot! That dawg mentality shining through!
This all-time great Kobe Bryant has the arena rocking! A cathedral silence off the charts!
Stephen Curry sprints back on defense! This headliner leading by example!
The legend grows! Goku, the farmer with the seed dibber, rewrites history at the den!
Stephen Curry pumps the fist as the buzzer goes! This world-class player savors the win!
Goku and Jesus Christ do celebratory push-ups. Stephen Curry counts out loud. Definitely cheating. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
106-101 (W)
Stephen Curry fires up the crowd to open the game! This franchise guy starting strong!
Michael Jordan deflects the pass and starts the break! This global icon defense to offense!
Goku launches from deep and misses! A farmer's range doesn't apply here!
Stephen Curry, this multi-time All-Star, knifes through for a pull-up jumper on the low block! Wow!
Michael Jordan, this generational talent, orchestrates the delay game! Scary good handles in action!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Stephen Curry asks for an ice pack. They say Stephen Curry has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
This household name Kobe Bryant steals it in the final quarter! Turns defense into points!
Stephen Curry, this all-around player, smothers the ball-handler! No options!
The crowd chants Jesus Christ's name! A crowd fully behind them for the messiah with their bare hands!
Michael Jordan, this household name, rises to the occasion! A scoop layup off the pick and roll! Huge!
That's the game! Goku finishes with a monster performance! This All-Star caliber talent victorious!
Michael Jordan charges toward the crowd. Jesus Christ catches him just before he dives into the stands. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
104-97 (W)
Goku checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
This reliable star Stephen Curry with a beautiful reverse layup along the baseline! Poetry in motion!
Stephen Curry with the chase-down monster swat! What athleticism!
This hall-of-fame lock Kobe Bryant turns the corner and finds the open man! Unselfish!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Kobe Bryant adjusts the angle mid-drive! Nerves of steel body control!
Players head to the locker room. Jesus Christ has tape on three fingers. Did you know Jesus Christ started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
Stephen Curry scores with a killer instinct. A fadeaway jumper along the baseline! Too smooth!
This reliable star Stephen Curry silences the hostile crowd! An incredible energy shifts!
Goku does the dirty work! Hands dirty like a farmer at the end of the day!
This guy with rings on every finger Michael Jordan silences the noise! A killer instinct locked in! Nothing else matters!
Game over! Goku proved a farmer belongs on the hardwood with the seed dibber!
Jesus Christ slides across the court in his socks while Michael Jordan splashes water on everyone. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
95-110 (L)
This franchise cornerstone Jesus Christ in the starting lineup! Let's see what this franchise cornerstone brings!
An off-balance shot from Michael Jordan sails wide! This once-in-a-lifetime player needs to regroup!
This hall-of-fame lock Jesus Christ dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Jesus Christ caught flat-footed! Standing still, the messiah reflexes took a nap!
A devastating dunk from Stephen Curry at the top of the key! That's a certified bucket-getter!
Halftime. Stephen Curry is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Locker room intel: Stephen Curry has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
Goku, this swiss-army-knife type, throws the hands up! Exasperated back to the basket!
Stephen Curry air-mails a reverse layup facing the rim! Way off for this elite player!
Jesus Christ manipulates the defense! Manipulation worthy of their bare hands on the game!
Jesus Christ is huffing and puffing! Winded, even a messiah would call it quits!
This franchise cornerstone Michael Jordan leaves the field house with head held high. Fought to the end.
Stephen Curry takes off his shoes and carries them like a ghost. Kobe Bryant follows the same path. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
89-104 (L)
The game begins and Michael Jordan is ready! You can see eyes in the back of the head written all over his face!
This undisputed superstar Michael Jordan whiffs on a bank shot! The crowd groans!
Kobe Bryant, this oversized freak, commits the travel! Defense that's basically a suggestion in the footwork!
Michael Jordan, this mountain of a man, can't keep up with the speed! Tendency to rush exposed!
Jesus Christ treats the rock like the game and sinks it. Easy as pie for a messiah!
Players head to the locker room. Stephen Curry has tape on three fingers. Intel: Stephen Curry once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
This basketball god Jesus Christ can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Kobe Bryant drives the orange right into the defender's hands! Ego the size of Texas!
Jesus Christ, this smooth operator, seals the defender for position! Fundamentals!
Stephen Curry, this all-around player, laboring up and down! Sometimes predictable game draining the energy!
Stephen Curry, this multi-time All-Star, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Kobe Bryant mutters while walking out. Jesus Christ watches from the corner of his eye, worried. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
107-95 (W)
Goku locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a farmer who means business!
Stephen Curry catches fire! And it's a devastating dunk! An unmatched feel for the game taking over!
This first-ballot legend Michael Jordan with the screen navigation! Gets through and contests!
Michael Jordan with the skip pass! Assist leads to an open fadeaway jumper!
Jesus Christ outsmarts the opponent! The brains of a messiah with their bare hands!
Intermission. Jesus Christ dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Anecdote: Jesus Christ once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Michael Jordan shoots and fires a half-court heave! This mountain of a man lighting it up!
Michael Jordan, this 7-footer, gets the standing ovation! A roaring arena!
This global icon Jesus Christ celebrates the teammate's score! It's about the team!
Stephen Curry, this franchise guy, has been building to this all game! On a clutch free throw!
What a game for Jesus Christ! Tomorrow's the game will feel easy after this!
Stephen Curry runs to the coach and lifts the coach up. Not thrilled but smiles anyway. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
106-97 (W)
Jesus Christ wins the opening tip! Tipping off with messiah energy!
Goku takes off the Spalding with flair and hits a finger roll! Sensational!
This generational talent Kobe Bryant reads the play and intercepts! Brilliant anticipation!
Stephen Curry threads the needle! Beautiful assist at the buzzer! Unreal court vision!
Jesus Christ goes small-ball! Adapting like a messiah who reads the room!
First half is done. Kobe Bryant is chugging Gatorade like it's water. Staff confession: Kobe Bryant is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Kobe Bryant rises up and converts! A thunderous slam on the low block! Money!
Kobe Bryant soaks in a hostile crowd! This franchise cornerstone living for these moments!
Goku finds the open teammate! This big-name player making everyone better!
Goku, this all-around player, evolves before our eyes! A show of force!
Goku takes off into the tunnel with the W! This multi-time All-Star all smiles!
Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan carry Stephen Curry like a trophy across the entire court. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
102-93 (W)
Stephen Curry opens with a two-handed slam! This guy everybody knows making an early statement!
Stephen Curry, this franchise guy, drops a finger roll from the right corner! Pure artistry!
Kobe Bryant, this giant, locks down the attacker! Scary good handles on the defensive end!
Goku lobs it perfectly! Arcing it with precision worthy of the seed dibber!
Michael Jordan sets the screen at the perfect angle! This household name cerebral play!
Well-deserved break. Michael Jordan looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Did you know Michael Jordan started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
What a play by Goku! A two-handed slam from the right corner! This franchise guy is cooking!
This generational talent Kobe Bryant draws the MVP chants! The crowd is on their feet for the star!
Kobe Bryant, this absolute unit, anchors the second unit! This household name versatile contributor!
Jesus Christ attacks with conviction! This household name believes tonight is the night!
This jersey-selling name Goku caps off a special night! A primal scream! Until next time!
Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant leap onto each other like kids. Jesus Christ comes sprinting in and crushes them both. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
111-112 (L)
This all-time great Michael Jordan gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Kobe Bryant with the highlight-reel alley-oop! This generational talent owning the moment!
Jesus Christ, this smooth operator, gets dunked on from the right corner! Poster material!
Stephen Curry fires a finger roll in transition but can't connect! Sometimes predictable game showing!
This living legend Michael Jordan ties the game! What a comeback! Nerves of steel at its peak!
Break! Stephen Curry has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. I've been told Stephen Curry once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
This once-in-a-lifetime player Kobe Bryant with the clutch-time breakdown! Occasional mental lapses on full display!
This All-Star caliber talent Goku slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
What a journey for Stephen Curry! From the bench to the spotlight! You love to see it!
Jesus Christ throws it away in the extra period! A messiah wasting their bare hands at the worst time!
This franchise cornerstone Michael Jordan tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Michael Jordan hurls his mouthguard into the trash. Jesus Christ keeps his in, chewing on the frustration. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
My Team ends the season #6 with a 10W-5L record. Season MVP: Michael Jordan.
Season Journal
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to what is probably going to be the most electric night of this season. The arena is packed to the rafters, there are people standing in the corridors, security gave up trying to control anything, and the DJ is blasting so loud the scoreboard is vibrating. We are here to talk about a legendary franchise. A team that has seen sacred monsters pass through, that has lived through dream seasons and nightmare years, that has rebuilt ten times over and always comes back with the same devouring hunger. The team with no name, baby!
Alright, let's not kid ourselves, if the arena is packed to the gills, it's because of THE phenomenon. This guy isn't just a basketball player, he's a walking cheat code on the hardwood: give it up for Michael Jordan! Picture this: standing at 198 cm, but he handles the rock with the agility of a 5'10" point guard and launches missiles from 30 feet like he's at shootaround. When he attacks the paint, it's simple, he's a freight train: either you get out of the way, or you end up on his poster doing the rounds on social media for a week straight.
The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around.
Okay, this is either pure genius or a complete mental breakdown, I honestly can't tell yet. The wild card, the stroke of brilliance or insanity depending on how many beers you've had, is that the coach decided to pull a move never before seen in league history: he signed Goku, his brother-in-law and a farmer by trade, on a ten-day contract. The guy showed up to the bench wearing a bucket hat, carrying seed dibber and a cooler, surrounded by 7-foot giants who weigh three times as much. Apparently the coach's theory is that if Goku can place a basketball with the same precision he uses for stubborn soil to "bullseye" the opposing center's head, we've got the play of the century. So far, the guy's biggest achievement is attempting a three-pointer with an underhand toss and asking the ref where the jack ball was. It's absolute madness, the fans are split between hysterical laughter and total despair, but one thing's for sure: no one's ever seen a timeout with such a strong smell of beef jerky and cheap beer on the bench.
Now listen up, the owner has pulled out the checkbook and he's willing to eat the luxury tax penalties. We're in the big leagues. Two max contracts, well-paid veterans on every corner. They're all-in. Every extra dollar spent costs them three in taxes, but they don't care: they want to raise that trophy in June and they've got the firepower to back it up.
My Team ends the season #6 with a 10W-5L record. Season MVP: Michael Jordan.
💬 💬 Comments & Suggestions (0)
💭
No comments yet. Be the first to share your opinion!
Do you like this creation?
Share it with your friends!
.jpg?width=400)
_(cropped).jpg?width=400)