Mijn ideale starting five — basketball_team 🇳🇱
5 leden · TeamBranch
Seizoensjournaal
Klassement
| # | Team | W | V | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | My Team | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 9 | Denver Horse-Track | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 11 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Voorseizoen
Buckle up, pull your visor down, and clench everything you've got because tonight we are NOT talking about some pickup game at the park. Hell no. We're talking about an arena shaking so hard the neighbors called the cops three times before tip-off. We're talking about a franchise built on decades of sweat, tears, heart-stopping buzzer-beaters, and Draft picks so bold that half the league thought they'd lost their minds. And yet, here they are, back and hungrier than ever. The team with no name, baby! The real reason this building is at capacity? It's him. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. The man. The beast. Standing at 218 cm, and not an ounce of fat, all lean muscle and raw talent. This dude was put on Earth to play basketball, there's no other explanation. Watch him move on the court and it's like watching a predator in the savanna: every movement is calculated, every step is perfect, and when he decides to strike, it's already too late for the defender. Nature built a monster, and we're lucky enough to watch him play tonight. The opposing locker room before the game, you know what they talk about? Not the game plan. Not the offensive scheme. No. They talk about HIM. "How do we stop him?" "Who takes the matchup?" "Does he look tired?" Spoiler: he's never tired. And even when he looks tired, it's a trap. The man fakes exhaustion in the third quarter and drops 14 in the fourth like a coiled spring being released. Opposing coaches have 50-page scouting reports on him, and every single page is absolutely useless. Hold on tight because the next name is going to make you spit out your beer: Hulk. Profession? Wetenschapper. Yeah. The coach saw him on TV, called his agent (who didn't exist), and offered him a ten-day contract "to see." The guy showed up with hun laboratoriumnotitieboek, a ham sandwich, and bulletproof enthusiasm. At his first practice, he attempted a dunk and ended up hanging from the net like a cat stuck in a tree. The fire department came. Twice. But he's got heart, the man, and apparently the precision he puts into de verborgen waarheid could translate to mid-range shooting. We believe. Well, the coach believes. The rest of us broke out the popcorn. The budget here is absolutely insane, we're talking stratosphere money. This is Warriors and Suns territory. These guys are so loaded they've triggered the Second Apron: the league literally forbids them from signing free agents or combining salaries in trades. They have zero flexibility, handcuffed by their own damn wealth. It's "championship or crash and burn," no in-between.
Speeldag 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
112-100 (W)
Kobe Bryant, this tree of a man, sets the tone immediately! Insane court vision from the jump!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar lets fly and fires a sky hook! This beanpole lighting it up!
LeBron James with the suffocating defense! This potential GOAT is a wall out there!
Kobe Bryant threads the needle! Beautiful assist from mid-range! Unreal court vision!
Kobe Bryant, this first-ballot legend, manages the clock beautifully in the first quarter!
Cut! Halftime. LeBron James's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Little secret: LeBron James watches cat videos between quarters. Says it's relaxing. We're back! The players look fired up.
Kobe Bryant strings together a thunderous slam from the left corner. Nerves of steel on full display!
Listen to that roar! LeBron James spins and the place explodes!
LeBron James spins the Spalding into the right hands! This hall-of-fame lock quarterback!
This game belongs to LeBron James! This generational talent stamping authority in transition!
Kobe Bryant, this towering presence, acknowledges the fans! A boiling cauldron! A primal scream!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Hulk fake a wrestling match. LeBron James plays the referee and calls a timeout. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Speeldag 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
110-101 (W)
The game begins and Kobe Bryant is ready! You can see next-level basketball IQ written all over his face!
A catch-and-shoot triple from Kobe Bryant! This guy with rings on every finger reminding everyone why they're on top!
Kobe Bryant, this tree of a man, alters the shot! Scary good handles at the rim!
LeBron James, this giant, runs the offense with freakish explosiveness! Beautiful passing!
Kobe Bryant reads the defense perfectly! Natural-born leadership and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Both teams head to the locker room. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar wipes his forehead with his jersey. Anecdote of the day: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
Hulk with a sky hook! The finesse of the hun laboratoriumnotitieboek right there on the gym!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Hulk acknowledges the fans! An electric crowd of mutual respect!
Jezus Christus plugs the gap! Plugging holes with messias efficiency!
What a journey for Kobe Bryant! From the bench to the spotlight! You love to see it!
This certified GOAT candidate LeBron James seals the deal! Victory with that dawg mentality!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar throws chalk powder like LeBron. Hulk coughs for two minutes straight. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Speeldag 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
116-99 (W)
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar steps back onto the floor! The crowd roars for this global icon!
This hall-of-fame lock Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is automatic driving to the hoop! A scoop layup drops again!
Hulk clamps down! Tighter than a wetenschapper's grip on the hun laboratoriumnotitieboek!
Hulk pulls up into the lane and kicks out! Unreal swagger and great decision-making!
This household name Hulk attacks the closeout! Driving past the over-eager defender!
Halftime. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar throws his towel on the floor walking in. Anecdote: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this global icon, exploits the mismatch for a fadeaway jumper! Too easy!
What a sold-out gym on fire! LeBron James and the fans creating a spectacle!
Jezus Christus motivates from the floor! Motivation of a messias who refuses to lose!
A standing ovation for Hulk! The wetenschapper who conquered the den with the hun laboratoriumnotitieboek!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this basketball god, embraces the teammates! A slide across the hardwood! Sweet victory!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Jezus Christus play rock-paper-scissors to decide who carries the ball. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar loses. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Speeldag 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
103-96 (W)
Kobe Bryant, this guy with rings on every finger, draws first blood! A fadeaway jumper to start!
Jezus Christus lays it in softly! Touch softer than a messias's hands on the job!
Hulk cuts off the drive! Precision of ontdekkenning the de verborgen waarheid!
This certified GOAT candidate Kobe Bryant with the wraparound pass! How did that get through!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this colossus, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! An unmatched feel for the game!
Halftime! Jezus Christus walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Fun fact: Jezus Christus is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Hulk powers through for an and-one! The brute force of ontdekkenning the de verborgen waarheid!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar spins to an eruption! An incredible energy! What a moment!
Kobe Bryant puts ego aside! The team comes first for this household name!
Tonight, Hulk isn't just a wetenschapper, they're a phenomenon with the hun laboratoriumnotitieboek!
Jezus Christus has the last say! Final word from a messias about the game!
LeBron James and Hulk do celebratory push-ups. Kobe Bryant counts out loud. Definitely cheating. Your commentator survived one game, four coffees, and a sandwich of questionable date. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Speeldag 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
120-75 (W)
LeBron James fires up the crowd to open the game! This franchise cornerstone starting strong!
A catch-and-shoot triple from Jezus Christus from the left corner! That's a statement right there!
Hulk shovels the pass! Moving the damn ball with the hun laboratoriumnotitieboek efficiency!
Kobe Bryant pulls up and drills a step-back three! Can't teach that!
Jezus Christus picks their pocket! A messias with quick hands knows how to handle thieves!
Halftime. Jezus Christus throws his towel on the floor walking in. Intel: Jezus Christus once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
Jezus Christus handles the damn ball like their bare hands. A thunderous slam in transition! The precision of a messias!
LeBron James, this mountain of a man, has the opposition calling for mercy back to the basket!
Breaking: Hulk caught ontdekkenning during a timeout! The wetenschapper never rests!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar pumps the fist! This first-ballot legend feeling it facing the rim! A chest bump!
Kobe Bryant walks off the venue victorious! This absolute legend owns this moment!
Jezus Christus and Hulk freestyle a victory rap. Kobe Bryant does the beatbox. It's terrible but magnificent. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Speeldag 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
105-91 (W)
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar hits an off-balance shot! A killer instinct proving to be the difference tonight!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar with the huge rebound in traffic from the left corner! This guy with rings on every finger says no!
This generational talent Hulk with the behind-the-back dish! Highlight-reel pass!
Jezus Christus exploits the soft spot in the perimeter! Soft as the game under their bare hands!
Halftime whistle. Kobe Bryant flops into the first available chair. Juicy anecdote: Kobe Bryant was caught dancing the Macarena in the showers. Alone. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
This certified GOAT candidate LeBron James with a vintage devastating dunk! The old magic is still there!
The energy in this building is unreal! Kobe Bryant channeling a roaring arena!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this all-time great, picks up the fallen teammate! Insane court vision beyond the stats!
Hulk is the people's champion! A wetenschapper for the people, the de verborgen waarheid for all!
This household name Kobe Bryant secures the win with scary good handles! Another one in the bag!
Jezus Christus and LeBron James freestyle a victory rap. Kobe Bryant does the beatbox. It's terrible but magnificent. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Speeldag 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
124-98 (W)
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this mammoth, announced to huge cheers! A crowd fully behind them!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar converts from downtown! A tear drop with trademark eyes in the back of the head!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this undisputed superstar, shuts down the play from the left corner! Lockdown defender!
Kobe Bryant with the hockey assist! That extra pass, beautiful basketball!
This all-time great Hulk recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
Halftime. Kobe Bryant glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Rumor has it Kobe Bryant tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
LeBron James knocks down a floater from way beyond the arc! Ice in the veins!
You can feel a Playoff atmosphere through the screen! LeBron James in the spotlight!
Kobe Bryant finds the open teammate! This undisputed superstar making everyone better!
The stadium knows it! Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is special! This once-in-a-lifetime player writing legacy!
This all-time great Kareem Abdul-Jabbar caps off a special night! A finger to the lips to hush the crowd! Until next time!
Hulk and LeBron James attempt an elaborate handshake. They miss three times. Kobe Bryant films the whole thing. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Speeldag 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
108-89 (W)
Tip-off! Kobe Bryant gets us started! Let's go!
Jezus Christus with the step-back devastating dunk! Creating space like a messias with their bare hands!
Hulk locks down their opponent! Tight as a wetenschapper gripping the hun laboratoriumnotitieboek!
Jezus Christus finds the open teammate! Vision of a messias spotting the game!
Hulk traps with the double! Trapping them, the wetenschapper knows how to corner prey!
The players disappear into the tunnel. LeBron James asks for an ice pack. The staff told me LeBron James sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Hulk, this combo guard, rises above and hammers a catch-and-shoot triple!
The road crowd tries to rally but LeBron James silences them! A roaring arena!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar makes the extra pass! This generational talent hockey assist for a bank shot!
This certified GOAT candidate Kobe Bryant refuses to lose! The will of a champion!
Hulk posts up the trophy! This undisputed superstar adds to the collection! A slide across the hardwood!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and LeBron James pretend to fish Hulk out of the crowd. They pull hard. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Speeldag 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
121-98 (W)
This first-ballot legend Jezus Christus comes out aggressive! Opens with a two-handed slam at the buzzer!
Hulk attacks and scores! Those wetenschapper hands work wonders with the pill!
LeBron James strips the ball cleanly! Veteran move right there!
LeBron James, this absolute legend, draws the double and finds the open shooter! Natural-born leadership!
Kobe Bryant, this first-ballot legend, manipulates the defense with the eyes! That dawg mentality!
That's a wrap for now. LeBron James dives into the tunnel. Quick anecdote about LeBron James: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Hulk hits from downtown! Precision worthy of the hun laboratoriumnotitieboek off the pick and roll!
A packed arena spikes every time Jezus Christus touches the Spalding! The messias effect!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar sacrifices the body taking the charge! This undisputed superstar ultimate teammate!
Jezus Christus told reporters: 'being a messias and playing here, same fire!'
Jezus Christus embraces teammates! The bond of competing the game together!
Jezus Christus moonwalks across the hardwood. Kobe Bryant attempts the worm. One of them pulls it off. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Speeldag 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
109-92 (W)
This basketball god Kareem Abdul-Jabbar comes out firing! A two-handed slam in the first minute!
LeBron James catches fire! And it's a devastating dunk! That dawg mentality taking over!
Jezus Christus blocks the layup attempt! A ball recovery with their bare hands authority!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar with the outlet pass! Coast-to-coast assist! Freakish explosiveness on that one!
This absolute legend LeBron James switches defensive assignments on the fly! A killer instinct!
Buzzer sounds, halftime! Jezus Christus walks head down toward the tunnel. Little secret: Jezus Christus has a secret TikTok account with 12 followers. Posts cooking tutorials. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
A two-handed slam by LeBron James from way beyond the arc! Ridiculous creativity in every fiber!
Opposing fans respect Jezus Christus! Even rivals admire a messias's hustle!
Hulk takes the charge for the team! Heart of a wetenschapper, sacrifice of a warrior!
This all-time great Jezus Christus is living their best moment right now at half court!
LeBron James grabs the game ball! This generational talent earned it tonight!
LeBron James improvises an Oscar acceptance speech. Kobe Bryant plays the imaginary violin. I got a text from LeBron James after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Speeldag 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
102-103 (V)
LeBron James opens with a buzzer beater! This basketball god making an early statement!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar with an incredible finger roll from downtown! Standing ovation!
Jezus Christus, this swiss-army-knife type, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over heavy feet!
Kobe Bryant, this beanpole, gets stuffed trying an alley-oop! Denied!
Kobe Bryant hits from downtown! The crowd is back in it! Game on!
The players leave the court. Jezus Christus clings to the tunnel railing. Locker room anecdote: Jezus Christus talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
Kobe Bryant, this oversized freak, chokes on the big stage! In the dying seconds miss!
This living legend Kobe Bryant can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
LeBron James overcomes the early struggles! This household name rising like a phoenix!
Hulk throws it away with the game on the line! Limited stamina!
Jezus Christus wipes a tear! A messias who poured everything into the effort!
Hulk mutters 'damn' under his breath. LeBron James says 'yeah' in the same tone. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Speeldag 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
108-101 (W)
Hulk wins the opening tip! Tipping off with wetenschapper energy!
Kobe Bryant, this absolute legend, reads the play perfectly and delivers a fadeaway jumper!
Jezus Christus forces the shot-clock violation! Patient as a messias waiting for the game!
This absolute legend Kobe Bryant connects on the pick-and-roll! Assist for a floater!
Jezus Christus runs the offense! Running it like a messias runs the show!
Halftime. The doctor examines Jezus Christus's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Little scoop: Jezus Christus logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
Jezus Christus scores again! When you're a messias by trade, the rock is child's play!
Standing room only! A sold-out gym on fire as Jezus Christus takes over under the basket!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar brings energy off the bench! This hall-of-fame lock infectious enthusiasm!
Jezus Christus brings the game wisdom to the hardwood tactics!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar hugs the coach! This certified GOAT candidate with a complete performance!
Hulk does a handstand. Jezus Christus holds him by the feet. The crowd holds its breath. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Speeldag 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
107-92 (W)
LeBron James, this once-in-a-lifetime player, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Jezus Christus goes to work and delivers a catch-and-shoot triple! Their bare hands by day, buckets by night!
LeBron James, this certified GOAT candidate, walls up at half court! Impenetrable defense!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar with the bounce pass! This household name threading it perfectly!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this living legend, orchestrates the delay game! Freakish explosiveness in action!
Back in the locker room, Kobe Bryant sits down and stares at the ceiling. Exclusive info: Kobe Bryant is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Kobe Bryant, this tower, takes over driving to the hoop. A bucket! That's elite!
Standing ovation for Hulk! The floor salutes the wetenschapper and their hun laboratoriumnotitieboek!
Hulk boxes out for the teammate! Making room like a wetenschapper with the de verborgen waarheid!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this all-time great, has the crowd in the palm of the hand! Palpable tension!
It's over! Kobe Bryant delivers the goods! This basketball god walks off a winner!
LeBron James does a handstand. Jezus Christus holds him by the feet. The crowd holds its breath. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Speeldag 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
111-114 (V)
Game time! Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and this all-time great ready to put on a show at the gym!
Jezus Christus finishes with flair! Showmanship of a messias presenting the game!
LeBron James, this beanpole, fouls unnecessarily from mid-range! Injury-prone body!
Hulk can't connect! The hun laboratoriumnotitieboek in hand, sure. The Wilson through the hoop, nope!
LeBron James, this tree of a man, refuses to die! A step-back three keeps the dream alive!
Both teams head in. Kobe Bryant has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Did you know Kobe Bryant entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Hulk can't convert the and-one! Ontdekkenning the de verborgen waarheid was the easier task!
Hulk picks up the second technical! This first-ballot legend ejected! Ego the size of Texas!
LeBron James has found another gear! This undisputed superstar shifting into overdrive!
This living legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar picks up the foul on the decisive possession! Terrible timing!
This generational talent Jezus Christus shakes hands and moves on. In the end, hot head proved costly.
Jezus Christus mutters while walking out. Kobe Bryant watches from the corner of his eye, worried. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Speeldag 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
89-119 (V)
And we're underway! Kareem Abdul-Jabbar touches the pill first! This global icon looks eager!
Hulk misses the open look! A wetenschapper never misses the de verborgen waarheid... But misses the rock!
This household name Hulk commits the 5-second violation! Clock management limited stamina!
Jezus Christus gets crossed over! Ankles broken like the game on a rough day!
Kobe Bryant attacks in the paint and finishes with a sky hook! Too good!
The players disappear. Hulk has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Locker room anecdote: Hulk talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
This global icon LeBron James gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Hulk misses the free throw! Ontdekkenning the de verborgen waarheid under pressure is easier!
This global icon Kobe Bryant calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
This global icon Kobe Bryant calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Heavy feet taking its toll!
Jezus Christus looks at the scoreboard one last time! Numbers don't lie for a messias!
LeBron James leaves the court at a jog. Kobe Bryant stays there, planted at center court, motionless. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Kobe Bryant. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
My Team ends the season #4 with a 12W-3L record. Season MVP: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
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Season journal
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