My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 3 | My Team | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to what is probably going to be the most electric night of this season. The arena is packed to the rafters, there are people standing in the corridors, security gave up trying to control anything, and the DJ is blasting so loud the scoreboard is vibrating. We are here to talk about a legendary franchise. A team that has seen sacred monsters pass through, that has lived through dream seasons and nightmare years, that has rebuilt ten times over and always comes back with the same devouring hunger. The team with no name, baby! Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. Cade Cunningham. Just the name sends chills through the building. Standing at 203 cm, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face. His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket. Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. Goku is on this team. Goku, who is a farmer and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with seed dibber under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world. The budget, let's talk about it. Or actually, let's not, because it'll make you dizzy. We're beyond the luxury tax, beyond the second apron, we're in a zone that even the league's tax accountants struggle to calculate. The owner burns cash like others burn firewood, and he doesn't bat an eye. Every season this team doesn't win the title is a financial scandal. The pressure is absolute, the talent is maximal, and the margin for error is zero. Welcome to the world of superteams, where failure isn't an option, it's a public humiliation.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
120-105 (W)
This top-tier talent Dennis Rodman means business! Fast start from the right corner!
Dennis Rodman, this All-Star caliber talent, knifes through for a sky hook in transition! Wow!
Dennis Rodman forces the shot-clock violation! That dawg mentality on full display!
This world-class player Dennis Rodman creates for others! Unselfish play with ridiculous creativity!
Goku positions perfectly in the center circle! Placement of the seed dibber on the stubborn soil!
Heading in. Goku's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. Intel: Goku once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
Dennis Rodman with another tear drop! You can't stop this man!
Damian Lillard dishes and the crowd chants the name! Listen to that noise!
Goku makes the extra pass! Extra effort, the farmer way!
From the seed dibber shifts to the allotted time on the temple of basketball,Goku does it all!
Cade Cunningham dribbles the trophy! This next-level player adds to the collection! A finger to the lips to hush the crowd!
Cade Cunningham runs the full court high-fiving everyone. Damian Lillard follows doing the wave alone. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
102-100 (W)
Dennis Rodman, this All-Star caliber talent, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Damian Lillard, this swiss-army-knife type, alters the shot! Natural-born leadership at the rim!
Cade Cunningham shoots but the shot rims out! Heavy feet rears its ugly head!
Dennis Rodman, this tree of a man, uses strength and skill for a euro-step! Complete player!
Scottie Pippen shoots to the right spot! Silky smooth technique off-ball movement!
Halftime. The doctor examines Goku's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Word is Goku sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
Cade Cunningham, this tower, muscles through for a hook shot in the second half!
Goku, this versatile guy, blankets the shooter from way beyond the arc! No daylight!
Damian Lillard in an electric crowd! This player on the come-up has been waiting for this stage!
Cade Cunningham goes to work and drills it! At the jump ball! Eyes in the back of the head under pressure!
It's over! Scottie Pippen delivers the goods! This top-tier talent walks off a winner!
Dennis Rodman and Scottie Pippen run circles around Damian Lillard who doesn't move. Zen. I got a text from Dennis Rodman after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
116-95 (W)
Scottie Pippen, this colossus, sets the tone immediately! Nerves of steel from the jump!
Dennis Rodman knocks down a euro-step from downtown! Ice in the veins!
Cade Cunningham, this colossus, with the clutch monster swat! The crowd is on its feet!
Cade Cunningham, this colossus, hits the cutter perfectly! A gym-rat work ethic right on time!
Dennis Rodman posts up with purpose every possession! This bonafide star chess master!
End of the first act. Goku is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Confession: Goku calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
A tear drop by Scottie Pippen! The crowd erupts! Freakish explosiveness personified!
Damian Lillard, this hooper's hooper, plays to the crowd! An incredible energy is contagious!
Dennis Rodman pulls up the outlet to the young player! This bonafide star building the future!
The stadium knows it! Cade Cunningham is special! This player making noise writing legacy!
This player on the come-up Damian Lillard wraps up a sensational performance! Victory is sweet!
Cade Cunningham dumps his Gatorade on Damian Lillard who screams because it was cold. Goku piles on. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. Thanks for watching this game. And now: 'Deal or No Deal: Office Fridge Edition.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
135-90 (W)
Goku, this solid build, is introduced and the arena explodes! This established star is in the building!
A devastating dunk from Damian Lillard! This legit talent just keeps delivering!
This solid pro Cade Cunningham with the behind-the-back dish! Highlight-reel pass!
Goku converts the and-one! Tough as cultivating the stubborn soil all day!
Dennis Rodman with the huge rebound in traffic from the right corner! This top-tier talent says no!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Goku asks for an ice pack. Little scoop: Goku tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
Goku with a catch-and-shoot triple off the screen! Read that play like a textbook!
Dennis Rodman, this established star, wraps it up with a flourish! Total destruction!
Damian Lillard, this combo guard, steps on the teammate's foot! Down goes this guy with a proven track record!
Damian Lillard crosses over and celebrates! A fist pump toward the bench from the right corner! The crowd erupts!
This guy everybody knows Scottie Pippen walks off to a standing ovation! A cathedral silence! Incredible!
Dennis Rodman does a backflip. Well, he tries. Cade Cunningham applauds the effort. I learned that Dennis Rodman's father was a farmer. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
111-82 (W)
This established player Cade Cunningham catches the rock early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Scottie Pippen lets fly the pill with silky smooth technique. And it drops! Nothing you can do!
Scottie Pippen threads the needle! Beautiful assist from mid-range! Unreal court vision!
This max-contract guy Goku goes to work from the left corner! An off-balance shot drops beautifully!
This certified bucket Dennis Rodman with a defensive rebound from mid-range! Intimidating!
Break! Cade Cunningham heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. Did you know? Cade Cunningham tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
A scoop layup from Scottie Pippen from the left corner! That's a certified bucket-getter!
Damian Lillard and the starters head to the bench! Job done, game over!
This respected competitor Cade Cunningham calls for the Spalding but trips over the baseline! Comedy gold!
Dennis Rodman taps the logo on the jersey! A fist pump toward the bench! That's pride right there!
Cade Cunningham, this absolute unit, acknowledges the fans! Palpable tension! A finger to the lips to hush the crowd!
Scottie Pippen and Cade Cunningham carry Damian Lillard like a trophy across the entire court. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
108-92 (W)
The game begins and Damian Lillard is ready! You can see unreal swagger written all over his face!
A bank shot from Dennis Rodman! That's an unmatched feel for the game at the highest level!
Goku guards the perimeter! Patrolling with farmer vigilance!
Goku delivers in transition! Fast delivery, like a farmer with the seed dibber!
Cade Cunningham, this colossus, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! An off-the-charts basketball IQ!
Break! Scottie Pippen grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Intel: Scottie Pippen refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. Second half! The crowd is on its feet, and so are the players.
Scottie Pippen converts a tough buzzer-beater at half court! Skill level: elite!
The crowd is on its feet! Palpable tension as Cade Cunningham takes the court!
Cade Cunningham, this well-respected player, picks up the fallen teammate! An unmatched feel for the game beyond the stats!
Dennis Rodman, this multi-time All-Star, has been building to this all game! Coming out of the locker room!
Final buzzer! Goku is the hero! This elite player with a game for the ages!
Cade Cunningham pretends to faint from happiness. Goku pretends to call 911. Tonight I nearly had a heart attack at least four times. And I'm just the commentator. Thanks for watching. Coming up: '48 Hours: The Secret Life of Roundabouts.' Essential viewing.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
132-86 (W)
Scottie Pippen, this big-name player, draws first blood! A pull-up jumper to start!
Scottie Pippen catches fire! And it's a catch-and-shoot triple! Next-level basketball IQ taking over!
Dennis Rodman, this multi-time All-Star, drives and kicks! Perfect assist for a free throw!
A hook shot from downtown by Cade Cunningham! This 7-footer with the long range!
This dude putting the league on notice Damian Lillard anchors the defense under the basket! Nothing gets through!
Break! Scottie Pippen rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. I've been told Scottie Pippen always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
Goku with the crafty bucket! Next-level basketball IQ on display!
Cade Cunningham, this tower, is toying with the opposition facing the rim! Dominant!
Damian Lillard, this swiss-army-knife type, headbands slips over the eyes mid-play! Blind this up-and-coming baller!
Scottie Pippen, this colossus, flexes on the crowd! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench after a half-court heave!
Goku clocks out from the palace of hoops! End of the seed dibber shift!
Cade Cunningham points both hands at the sky. Damian Lillard points at Cade Cunningham. Dennis Rodman points at the exit. I learned backstage that Damian Lillard also does farmer on weekends. That explains those reflexes. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
123-96 (W)
This jersey-selling name Dennis Rodman gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Goku applies the same technique to the Wilson as to the stubborn soil. An and-one off the pick and roll!
Scottie Pippen forces the step-out-of-bounds! This top-tier talent hawking the ball!
Damian Lillard, this player on the come-up, sets the table in transition! Assist master!
This respected competitor Damian Lillard recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
Halftime. Scottie Pippen wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Rumor has it Scottie Pippen talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Dennis Rodman with the smooth step-back three! This franchise guy making it look easy!
Dennis Rodman, this big fella, gets the standing ovation! Palpable tension!
Cade Cunningham celebrates the team's success! This established player knows together is better!
Cade Cunningham is writing the story tonight! This respected competitor with a euro-step at the buzzer!
Goku salutes the fans! A farmer's farewell until the next stubborn soil!
Cade Cunningham throws chalk powder like LeBron. Damian Lillard coughs for two minutes straight. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
119-94 (W)
This solid pro Damian Lillard comes out aggressive! Opens with a two-handed slam in the paint!
Damian Lillard, this respected competitor, operates from the left corner with a sky hook! Clinic!
Cade Cunningham with the chase-down left-handed block! What athleticism!
Cade Cunningham whips the pass cross-court! Assist! This mountain of a man seeing everything!
Dennis Rodman, this bonafide star, manages the clock beautifully in the third quarter!
Rest. Goku buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Did you know? Goku launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
This seasoned vet Cade Cunningham is automatic in transition! A devastating dunk drops again!
This top-tier talent Scottie Pippen brings an incredible energy to a new level! Incredible scene!
Damian Lillard blows past the damn ball with patience! This established player trusting the system!
This player making noise Damian Lillard proves the critics wrong! A live masterclass vindication!
Scottie Pippen, this reliable star, soaks in the moment! Victory from the right corner! A bench mob celebration!
Scottie Pippen and Dennis Rodman fake a wrestling match. Damian Lillard plays the referee and calls a timeout. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
91-110 (L)
Scottie Pippen, this max-contract guy, embraces the cathedral silence! Game on!
Goku can't buy a shot! Wouldn't happen with the stubborn soil, a farmer always hits!
This name that's buzzing Cade Cunningham commits the offensive foul! Turnover from mid-range!
Dennis Rodman falls asleep on the weak side! Tendency to force bad shots exposed!
Cade Cunningham hits a scoop layup! An unmatched feel for the game proving to be the difference tonight!
Break! Cade Cunningham rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Exclusive: Cade Cunningham was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
Cade Cunningham explodes and kicks the stanchion! This established player losing composure!
This league veteran Cade Cunningham with a rare miss at the buzzer! Even the best stumble!
Goku makes the hockey assist! The unsung play of a farmer behind the stubborn soil!
This reliable star Dennis Rodman can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
Goku wipes a tear! A farmer who poured everything into the effort!
Cade Cunningham's eyes are red, jaw tight. Dennis Rodman apologizes to the coach, voice cracking. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Dennis Rodman. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
118-98 (W)
This world-class player Goku in the starting lineup! Let's see what this world-class player brings!
Cade Cunningham scores with a killer instinct. A two-handed slam at the top of the key! Too smooth!
Dennis Rodman, this max-contract guy, switches seamlessly and locks up! A killer instinct shining through!
Goku with the hockey assist! That extra pass, beautiful basketball!
Damian Lillard, this smooth operator, sets a brick-wall screen! That dawg mentality on full display!
Off to the locker room. Scottie Pippen has already drained two water bottles. Fun fact: Scottie Pippen got rejected at a casting for a deodorant commercial. The irony. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Damian Lillard steps back and fires a step-back three! This all-around player lighting it up!
Goku high-fives courtside fans! Those farmer hands spreading the love!
Goku runs the play to perfection! Perfection of cultivating the stubborn soil!
The narrative shifts! Damian Lillard takes control with an off-the-charts basketball IQ!
Scottie Pippen attacks off the court victorious! This reliable star leaves it all out there!
Cade Cunningham points both hands at the sky. Damian Lillard points at Cade Cunningham. Scottie Pippen points at the exit. I got a text from Cade Cunningham after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
109-92 (W)
Cade Cunningham takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Damian Lillard penetrates the Spalding beautifully for a fadeaway jumper! What touch!
This hooper's hooper Cade Cunningham with the screen navigation! Gets through and contests!
This max-contract guy Dennis Rodman exploits the gap! Dime to the corner for a reverse layup!
This elite player Scottie Pippen adjusts at halftime and comes out sharp! Adaptation!
First half is done. Scottie Pippen is chugging Gatorade like it's water. Confession: Scottie Pippen calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
This dude putting the league on notice Cade Cunningham punishes the defense with a bucket off the pick and roll!
The arena trembles! Damian Lillard with the play and a crowd fully behind them follows!
This multi-time All-Star Scottie Pippen celebrates the teammate's score! It's about the team!
Scottie Pippen has found another gear! This certified bucket shifting into overdrive!
That's the game! Goku finishes with a monster performance! This bonafide star victorious!
Scottie Pippen and Dennis Rodman attempt an elaborate handshake. They miss three times. Goku films the whole thing. Behind the scenes, I learned Dennis Rodman was also a farmer in a past life. You can feel it in the game. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
98-125 (L)
Scottie Pippen shoots onto the floor! The crowd roars for this bonafide star!
Damian Lillard, this do-it-all player, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this solid pro!
This world-class player Goku with turnover number buckets! Hot head is piling up!
Scottie Pippen, this big fella, gets exploited in the switch! Tendency to force bad shots exposed in the mismatch!
Scottie Pippen, this mountain of a man, showcases freakish explosiveness with a gorgeous reverse layup!
The players file out. Scottie Pippen exchanges a tense look with the coach. Locker room intel: Scottie Pippen has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Dennis Rodman, this 7-footer, shows negative body language! Hot head creeping in!
Goku with the contested buzzer beater from mid-range! No good! Bad selection!
Goku, this top-tier talent, manipulates the defense with the eyes! A gym-rat work ethic!
Dennis Rodman, this big fella, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
Damian Lillard, this tweener, trudges off the gym. Lessons to take from this one.
Damian Lillard lets out a nervous laugh that sends chills down your spine. Cade Cunningham decides not to comment. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
112-108 (W)
Scottie Pippen opens with a bucket! This All-Star caliber talent making an early statement!
This multi-time All-Star Goku forces the air ball with pressure! Suffocating!
This elite player Scottie Pippen short-arms a bucket in transition! Not enough lift!
Cade Cunningham, this mountain of a man, glides at half court for a silky tear drop!
Scottie Pippen, this jersey-selling name, draws the double team and finds the open man! High IQ!
Back to the locker room. Goku punches his locker. Confession: Goku calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
Damian Lillard delivers in the clutch! A half-court heave at the buzzer! This well-respected player is ice cold!
Cade Cunningham, this tower, covers ground to get the surgical steal! Wow!
An incredible energy as Cade Cunningham, this tree of a man, is introduced! Goosebumps!
Damian Lillard hits nothing but net! A reverse layup in the second quarter! An unmatched feel for the game!
This certified bucket Goku secures the win with silky smooth technique! Another one in the bag!
Goku makes the phone sign toward the opposing bench. Damian Lillard makes the 'call us' gesture. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Goku's name. Forgive me. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
96-118 (L)
Damian Lillard looks dialed in from the start! Insane court vision preparation showing!
Brick! Damian Lillard misfires from the left corner! Ego the size of Texas at the worst time!
Cade Cunningham pulls up into a trap! Occasional mental lapses when reading the defense!
Damian Lillard gets caught flat-footed! This player on the come-up beaten to the spot!
Cade Cunningham scores at will! A hook shot at half court! This next-level player domination!
Break. Damian Lillard collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. Rumor has it Damian Lillard talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
This certified bucket Scottie Pippen gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Cade Cunningham, this guy with a proven track record, comes up empty! A floater off target at the top of the key!
Damian Lillard, this solid build, exploits the mismatch back to the basket! Smart play!
This world-class player Scottie Pippen can't close out! The legs are shot at the buzzer!
Goku fought but fell short! Just out of reach, the farmer gave everything!
Cade Cunningham refuses the coach's embrace. Damian Lillard accepts it but his body is stiff. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
My Team finishes #3, a fantastic season! 12W-3L. Season MVP: Cade Cunningham.
Season Journal
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to what is probably going to be the most electric night of this season. The arena is packed to the rafters, there are people standing in the corridors, security gave up trying to control anything, and the DJ is blasting so loud the scoreboard is vibrating. We are here to talk about a legendary franchise. A team that has seen sacred monsters pass through, that has lived through dream seasons and nightmare years, that has rebuilt ten times over and always comes back with the same devouring hunger. The team with no name, baby!
Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. Cade Cunningham. Just the name sends chills through the building. Standing at 203 cm, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face.
His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket.
Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. Goku is on this team. Goku, who is a farmer and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with seed dibber under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world.
The budget, let's talk about it. Or actually, let's not, because it'll make you dizzy. We're beyond the luxury tax, beyond the second apron, we're in a zone that even the league's tax accountants struggle to calculate. The owner burns cash like others burn firewood, and he doesn't bat an eye. Every season this team doesn't win the title is a financial scandal. The pressure is absolute, the talent is maximal, and the margin for error is zero. Welcome to the world of superteams, where failure isn't an option, it's a public humiliation.
My Team finishes #3, a fantastic season! 12W-3L. Season MVP: Cade Cunningham.
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