☠️
46
Days survived
59
Zombies killed
0/7
Survivors
👤
Created by Anonymous
36
🗺️ Km traveled
12
👑 Decisions
10
🩺 Rescues
39
🍳 Meals cooked
5
🪤 Traps built
36
🎯 Zombies lured
Survival Journal
33 events
1
📖
Day 1: The army had blown the bridge at 5 AM. Bad timing. Donald Trump and Joe Biden were on the wrong side. Barack Obama spotted them from the roof of a bus. Abraham Lincoln, LeBron James, and Jeffrey Epstein were fleeing the station overrun by the infected. Sean Combs, meanwhile, had already been there since dawn, sitting on a barrier, as if waiting for exactly this moment. Seven survivors, zero plan, an entire city to cross. Welcome to the apocalypse.
1
🎂
Jeffrey Epstein is 66 years old and struggles to keep up with the group during chases.
-5
1
📌
📍 Taxi dispatcher radio crackles. Joe Biden: "All drivers off duty. Permanently."
0
2
🌍
Day 2: The camp doctor is bitten. Abraham Lincoln must decide: amputation or quarantine.
+10
2
🎒
Sean Combs blinds a group of zombies with his fire extinguisher foam then knocks them out with it.
+5
2
⚡
Success - Joe Biden convinces a group of survivors to sign an alliance contract in exchange for post-apocalyptic legal protection
-2
3
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💀
LeBron James slam-dunked a zombie into a dumpster. Shaq would be proud. Do not attempt at home.
3
💀
LeBron James
has died
4
🌍
Day 4: Hail falls like golf balls. The camp roof won't hold much longer. Joe Biden must find a solution, fast.
+8
5
🎒
Abraham Lincoln explodes a zombie's jaw with a devastating uppercut using brass knuckles.
+6
6
🎂
Sean Combs is 57 years old and starting to tire, but their wisdom is precious.
0
9
⚡
Jeffrey Epstein hands out report cards to survivors. 'Kevin, D- for night watch. See me after apocalypse.'
-1
10
💀
Jeffrey Epstein dies protecting the camp children. The blackboard still hangs: 'Lesson 12: Never give up.'
10
💀
Jeffrey Epstein
has died
11
🌍
Day 11: The camp's water is contaminated. Joe Biden must find an alternative source before general dehydration.
+9
12
🎒
Barack Obama bites into a fresh apple found in an abandoned orchard. The vitamins feel good.
+4
13
⚡
Abraham Lincoln gently massages stiff zombie joints to improve their mobility
+2
15
💀
Sean Combs turns zombie moans into samples for their next album
15
💀
Sean Combs
has died
16
🌍
Day 16: An Alpha zombie emerges from the rubble. Barack Obama finds themselves face to face with this abomination.
-20
18
🎒
Abraham Lincoln takes off in a hot air balloon and observes zombie movements from the sky. Perfect aerial mapping!
+7
23
⚡
Failure - Joe Biden fails their plea before a zombie and gets bitten while trying to cite article 3 of human rights
-2
25
💀
Poetic death - Joe Biden dies trying to serve a subpoena to a zombie horde for 'disturbing the peace'
25
💀
Joe Biden
has died
26
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🌍
Day 26: The heat is so intense that asphalt melts. A zombie is stuck in the street, arms outstretched, like a fly on flypaper. Donald Trump watches the scene, puzzled.
+3
28
🎒
Abraham Lincoln burns their fingers with boiling oil from the fries. No fries are worth that.
-4
30
⚡
Barack Obama organizes a community survival council (and even manages to get Mrs. Johnson from 3rd floor to attend)
0
31
💀
Barack Obama negotiates with other survivor groups (and miraculously avoids civil war)
31
💀
Barack Obama
has died
35
⚡
Donald Trump diversifies their portfolio by buying shares in atomic bunkers
+3
36
🎒
Donald Trump wraps the whip around their own neck while attempting a complex move.
-5
37
🌍
Day 37: Donald Trump finds a vending machine still powered. Mars bars survived the apocalypse, we didn't.
+5
38
💀
Abraham Lincoln punches a zombie with brass knuckles, their arm goes through the rotting zombie and gets stuck inside.
38
💀
Abraham Lincoln
has died
41
⚡
Donald Trump negotiates an exclusive contract with zombies to monopolize the brain market
+3
42
🌍
Day 42: Donald Trump discovers a personal bunker filled with canned goods. The survivalist was right all along.
+12
43
⚡
Donald Trump organizes an IPO for their startup 'ZombieUber' - home brain delivery service
+3
45
🌍
Day 45: A rival group offers a shady deal. Donald Trump must negotiate without getting scammed.
+8
46
💀
Donald Trump calculates the ROI of their survival and decides dying costs less than living
46
💀
Donald Trump
has died
46
📌
📍 Queens diner. Coffee pot still warm. Sean Combs pours a cup. "Service is terrible."
0
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