My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Denver Horse-Track | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Houston Blast-Off | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | My Team | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 9 | New York Over-Timers | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. The team with no name, baby! Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Victor Wembanyama on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 224 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them. The opposing locker room before the game, you know what they talk about? Not the game plan. Not the offensive scheme. No. They talk about HIM. "How do we stop him?" "Who takes the matchup?" "Does he look tired?" Spoiler: he's never tired. And even when he looks tired, it's a trap. The man fakes exhaustion in the third quarter and drops 14 in the fourth like a coiled spring being released. Opposing coaches have 50-page scouting reports on him, and every single page is absolutely useless. The chef's surprise of the evening is Son Goku. A bushi by profession. No, it's not a joke, it's an actual coaching staff decision. The GM nearly had a heart attack when he saw the signing, but the coach said: "Trust me, this guy can handle the feudal lord with surgical precision, imagine what he can do with a basketball." Spoiler: so far, not much. The man spent his first week confusing the free throw line with the sideline, and asked three times if tackling was allowed. But he's got a heart size of a watermelon, he runs around like an overexcited golden retriever, and damn it, the crowd absolutely loves him. Money-wise, this is solid. Not the penthouse but a nice apartment with a view of the playoffs. The team has the means for its moderate ambitions, which is already saying something. There's a go-to scorer, quality role players, and a sixth man who'd start on half the teams in the league. The owner keeps his hand on the wallet but knows when to open it. The danger? Settling for a second-round exit and becoming that team that's "nice but never dangerous." Tonight, they want to prove otherwise.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
84-112 (L)
Joe Biden, this undisputed superstar, draws first blood! A finger roll to start!
Kawhi Leonard, this name that's buzzing, with a contested finger roll that misses from downtown!
Son Goku loses the rock! A bushi would never be this careless!
Ted Bundy falls asleep on the weak side! Tendency to rush exposed!
Joe Biden drops a catch-and-shoot triple! The accuracy of a university professor on full display!
Halftime. Son Goku's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Little secret: Son Goku has a secret TikTok account with 12 followers. Posts cooking tutorials. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
Joe Biden drops their shoulders! Deflated, even a university professor's spirit has limits!
Victor Wembanyama, this tree of a man, can't get a scoop layup to drop! Cold as ice tonight!
Kawhi Leonard, this player on the come-up, draws the double team and finds the open man! High IQ!
Ted Bundy labors up the court! Trudging like a serial killer dragging the unsuspecting prey!
This global icon Joe Biden tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Ted Bundy sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Son Goku puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. Evening confession: I'm wearing Ted Bundy's jersey under my shirt. For morale. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
112-96 (W)
Ted Bundy, this franchise cornerstone, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
This franchise cornerstone Ted Bundy finishes with authority! A double-clutch layup in the paint!
Joe Biden with the denial defense! This undisputed superstar not giving an inch!
Ted Bundy, this absolute legend, dishes to the hot hand! Smart basketball!
Son Goku penetrates to the weak side! This dark horse exploiting the rotation!
The players file out. Joe Biden exchanges a tense look with the coach. Fun fact: Joe Biden is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Joe Biden blows past the damn ball with purpose! A fadeaway jumper! This hall-of-fame lock means business!
The arena is electric! This potential GOAT Joe Biden thriving in a boiling cauldron!
Kawhi Leonard takes the blame for the mistake! This hooper's hooper protecting teammates!
This respected competitor Victor Wembanyama channels the inner champion! An off-the-charts basketball IQ at its peak!
Ted Bundy, this absolute legend, points to the crowd! A hug with the coach! This was for the fans!
Joe Biden and Victor Wembanyama carry Son Goku like a trophy across the entire court. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
96-99 (L)
Joe Biden comes out hot! Heated up and ready, the university professor means business!
Joe Biden, this solid build, with a silky off-balance shot driving to the hoop! Smooth operator!
Victor Wembanyama gambles for the steal and pays the price! Heavy feet!
Victor Wembanyama air-mails an alley-oop at half court! Way off for this solid pro!
Son Goku with the momentum-shifting play! The willpower of a bushi right there!
First half is done. Son Goku is chugging Gatorade like it's water. Did you know? Son Goku launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. Break's over, the players take their positions.
Victor Wembanyama, this mountain of a man, forces a bad shot in crunch time! Tendency to rush!
Son Goku gets a technical for complaining! Tendency to force bad shots on full display!
Scouts overlooked a serial killer. They won't overlook Ted Bundy after tonight's their chilling method show!
Victor Wembanyama with the ill-advised pass in crunch time! Intercepted!
Son Goku had the chances but couldn't convert. This unknown gem left wanting.
Kawhi Leonard's eyes are glassy. Ted Bundy mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
118-81 (W)
Joe Biden checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Victor Wembanyama, this big fella, carves up the defense for a bank shot! Beautiful!
Victor Wembanyama quarter-backs the possession! Assist for an and-one! What a pass!
A hook shot from downtown by Victor Wembanyama! This mountain of a man with the long range!
Ted Bundy rotates perfectly for the iron-wall defense! Next-level basketball IQ on full display!
Cut! Halftime. Kawhi Leonard's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Did you know Kawhi Leonard entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
Joe Biden lays it in softly! Touch softer than a university professor's hands on the job!
Ted Bundy launches to yet another easy bucket! The floodgates opened!
Kawhi Leonard, this titan, accidentally passes to the ref! Nice assist this solid pro!
Victor Wembanyama, this solid pro, with the too-small gesture! A chest bump! Mismatch!
This next-level player Victor Wembanyama walks off to a standing ovation! A crowd fully behind them! Incredible!
Joe Biden rips the net off the rim. Ted Bundy wraps it around his neck like a scarf. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
104-101 (W)
Ted Bundy locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a serial killer who means business!
Ted Bundy, this household name, bodied up and forced the turnover! Physical defense!
Kawhi Leonard, this titan, gets the look but can't convert from mid-range!
This up-and-coming baller Victor Wembanyama with a picture-perfect thunderous slam! The crowd goes wild!
This generational talent Ted Bundy attacks the closeout! Driving past the over-eager defender!
That's a wrap for now. Victor Wembanyama dives into the tunnel. Confession: Victor Wembanyama calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. We're back! The players look fired up.
Joe Biden, this combo guard, with the crunch-time takeover! Iron discipline taking over!
Kawhi Leonard slides to the passing lane and steals it! Eyes in the back of the head!
Palpable tension as Joe Biden warms up with some university professor moves!
Victor Wembanyama nails the free throws to ice it! This solid pro with steady hands!
This established player Kawhi Leonard seals the deal! Victory with an unmatched feel for the game!
Kawhi Leonard and Ted Bundy cradle the game ball like a baby. Son Goku takes a photo. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
99-103 (L)
Son Goku penetrates with energy from the opening whistle! This dark horse locked in!
Son Goku attacks facing the rim and finishes with a buzzer-beater! Too good!
Victor Wembanyama overcommits and gets beat! Sometimes predictable game when reading the play!
Kawhi Leonard, this oversized freak, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this legit talent!
Son Goku turns a crowd fully behind them into a frenzy! Like deadline day for a bushi!
Intermission. Kawhi Leonard dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Did you know Kawhi Leonard once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
This up-and-coming baller Kawhi Leonard dribbles out the clock! Limited stamina costing precious seconds!
Joe Biden slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a university professor hits the workbench!
Ted Bundy crosses over with conviction! This global icon believes tonight is the night!
Son Goku loses the handle at coming out of the locker room! The bushi grip vanished!
Ted Bundy, this once-in-a-lifetime player, takes the loss hard. Shaky emotions under pressure at the wrong moments.
Joe Biden's complexion is grey. Ted Bundy's is red. Defeat comes in different colors. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
95-96 (L)
Victor Wembanyama shoots onto the floor! The crowd roars for this up-and-coming baller!
Son Goku, this raw talent, sinks a thunderous slam with surgical precision from downtown!
Kawhi Leonard gets burned on the drive! Injury-prone body in lateral movement!
This league veteran Victor Wembanyama rattles it out! So close yet so far at half court!
This seasoned vet Kawhi Leonard ties the game! What a comeback! A gym-rat work ethic at its peak!
The players head to the locker room. Son Goku is sweating like a racehorse. Exclusive: Son Goku was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
This guy with rings on every finger Joe Biden can't deliver when it matters! Hot head under pressure!
Ted Bundy shakes their head! A serial killer who can't believe that just happened!
Ted Bundy channels their inner serial killer,stalking the unsuspecting prey made these hands!
Victor Wembanyama fades away into a dead end! Lack of consistency in late-game situations!
Ted Bundy leaves the arena quietly! Quiet as a serial killer after the unsuspecting prey setback!
Son Goku bites the inside of his cheek. Ted Bundy pinches the bridge of his nose. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
115-101 (W)
Tip-off! Son Goku gets us started! Let's go!
Victor Wembanyama, this seasoned vet, operates from way beyond the arc with a fadeaway jumper! Clinic!
Ted Bundy walls up in the three-point line! Immovable as their chilling method bolted down!
Victor Wembanyama picks apart the defense! Assist leads to a floater!
Ted Bundy with the perfect cut! Precision of a serial killer with their chilling method!
Halftime! Victor Wembanyama is limping slightly heading off the court. Fun fact: Victor Wembanyama tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Kawhi Leonard penetrates through traffic and scores! Incredible finish!
Victor Wembanyama, this oversized freak, gestures for more noise! The crowd goes nuts!
Ted Bundy rotates on defense! Rotating with their chilling method efficiency!
Son Goku, this tweener, carries the weight of the team on those shoulders!
Victor Wembanyama, this respected competitor, high-fives the bench! A finger to the lips to hush the crowd! Team effort!
Kawhi Leonard pretends to faint from happiness. Ted Bundy pretends to call 911. I learned that Kawhi Leonard's father was a university professor. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
88-102 (L)
Victor Wembanyama, this giant, sets the tone immediately! Ridiculous creativity from the jump!
Kawhi Leonard clanks another one off the rim! This player making noise needs to find rhythm!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Ted Bundy commits the offensive foul! Turnover from the right corner!
This franchise cornerstone Ted Bundy fouls reaching in! Heavy feet on defense!
Joe Biden with the teardrop alley-oop! Beautiful as a university professor's finest the young scholars!
Halftime! Victor Wembanyama looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Locker room anecdote: Victor Wembanyama talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Joe Biden mouths off at coming out of the locker room! A university professor venting about the young scholars!
Kawhi Leonard dribbles the rock into the front rim! That's frustrating for this established player!
Son Goku goes small-ball! Adapting like a bushi who reads the room!
This total unknown Son Goku is a warrior but the body says no! The 4 periods of 12 minutes of war!
Son Goku wipes a tear! A bushi who poured everything into the effort!
Kawhi Leonard kicks his towel across the floor. Victor Wembanyama has already left for the locker room, alone. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
108-107 (W)
Son Goku takes the court to a roaring arena! The bushi with their katana blade is here!
This established player Kawhi Leonard with a crucial offensive board off the pick and roll! Intimidating!
A buzzer beater by Victor Wembanyama in the paint is way off! Tough night for this solid pro!
Joe Biden rises up with the precision of a university professor at work. And it's a scoop layup!
Joe Biden, this potential GOAT, orchestrates the delay game! Ridiculous creativity in action!
Halftime. Victor Wembanyama wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Did you know Victor Wembanyama entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Son Goku fires away and finishes through contact! And-one at the last second!
Victor Wembanyama slides the feet perfectly and forces a miss! Unreal swagger in every step!
The crowd gasps at Ted Bundy's move! Agility worthy of a serial killer!
Son Goku tips in the rebound for a fadeaway jumper! All hustle, all heart!
Joe Biden is named player of the game! The university professor is also the star!
Kawhi Leonard runs the full court high-fiving everyone. Ted Bundy follows doing the wave alone. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
93-104 (L)
Kawhi Leonard looks dialed in from the start! An unmatched feel for the game preparation showing!
Ted Bundy whiffs on the jumper! A serial killer off their game with their chilling method!
Kawhi Leonard throws it into the stands! What was that from this seasoned vet!
Kawhi Leonard loses the screen battle! Lack of consistency around the picks!
Ted Bundy scores a pull-up jumper in a crowd fully behind them! Their chilling method vibes radiating across the hardwood!
Halftime. Son Goku is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Little scoop: Son Goku logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
This guy with a proven track record Victor Wembanyama hangs the head after the miss! Deflated at the top of the key!
This well-respected player Kawhi Leonard shanks a finger roll from the right corner! That's uncharacteristic!
This guy with a proven track record Kawhi Leonard calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
This first-ballot legend Joe Biden has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
Joe Biden takes the loss hard! Hard as the young scholars on a bad university professor day!
Son Goku bites the inside of his cheek. Kawhi Leonard pinches the bridge of his nose. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
111-110 (W)
Victor Wembanyama, this mountain of a man, announced to huge cheers! A crowd fully behind them!
Kawhi Leonard rejects the layup! A clutch steal by this 7-footer! Get that out!
Victor Wembanyama forces a bad euro-step! This seasoned vet needs to trust teammates!
Joe Biden, this all-around player, showcases night-in night-out consistency with a gorgeous floater!
Son Goku sets the screen at the perfect angle! This diamond in the rough cerebral play!
Break! Ted Bundy grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. True story: Ted Bundy had his parking spot stolen by Cleveland Twin-Towers's mascot. Still talks about it. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
This unknown gem Son Goku silences the crowd! A fadeaway jumper on the low block! Stone cold!
Joe Biden, this global icon, shuts down the play at half court! Lockdown defender!
Deafening noise! Kawhi Leonard blows past and the building shakes!
This first-ballot legend Ted Bundy answers back immediately! A step-back three along the baseline! Resilient!
Son Goku fires away into the tunnel with the W! This hungry young player all smiles!
Ted Bundy rips off his jersey and launches it into the crowd. Son Goku does the same. The coach rolls his eyes. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
93-106 (L)
Game time! Kawhi Leonard and this seasoned vet ready to put on a show at the temple of basketball!
Ted Bundy, this undisputed superstar, pulls the trigger from the right corner but no luck!
Ted Bundy, this low-to-the-ground speedster, gets the ball poked away! Injury-prone body when protecting the pill!
Victor Wembanyama, this titan, can't keep up with the speed! Tendency to rush exposed!
Joe Biden, this absolute legend, drops a scoop layup from the left corner! Pure artistry!
Back to the locker room. Kawhi Leonard's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Rumor has it Kawhi Leonard does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
Son Goku stares in disbelief! The look of a bushi who just lost everything!
A deep three from Kawhi Leonard hits the iron! Shaky emotions under pressure under the spotlight!
Kawhi Leonard reads the defense perfectly! Next-level basketball IQ and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Joe Biden can barely run! The 4 periods of 12 minutes harder than the 4 periods of 12 minutes of challenging the young scholars!
Son Goku packs up and heads out! Packing their katana blade, unpacking emotions!
Joe Biden's eyes are red, jaw tight. Ted Bundy apologizes to the coach, voice cracking. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
81-126 (L)
This guy with rings on every finger Joe Biden comes out aggressive! Opens with a double-clutch layup on the low block!
Kawhi Leonard fires a buzzer beater along the baseline but can't connect! Injury-prone body showing!
Kawhi Leonard passes to nobody! This up-and-coming baller with a head-scratching decision!
Ted Bundy loses their assignment! Like losing their chilling method in the workshop!
Ted Bundy storms to the bench! This absolute legend is visibly upset!
The locker room fills up. Victor Wembanyama has already eaten three oranges. Exclusive: Victor Wembanyama was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
Son Goku sends it wide! Their katana blade wouldn't forgive that either!
This franchise cornerstone Joe Biden can't close out! The legs are shot facing the rim!
Son Goku with a wild pass that sails out! This unknown gem giving it away!
Kawhi Leonard slams the ball in frustration! Lack of consistency on full display!
Son Goku looks at the scoreboard one last time! Numbers don't lie for a bushi!
Joe Biden pulls his cap down over his eyes. Kawhi Leonard doesn't have a cap, and it shows. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
94-105 (L)
Ted Bundy wins the opening tip! Tipping off with serial killer energy!
Joe Biden, this versatile guy, draws the foul but can't capitalize! Heavy feet!
Son Goku tries to be too fancy and loses the Spalding! Hot head in the decision-making!
Joe Biden gets back-doored! Didn't see it, like not seeing the young scholars behind their lecture notes!
Son Goku with the tough free throw through contact! This newcomer won't be denied!
End of the second quarter. Ted Bundy is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Did you know Ted Bundy entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
Kawhi Leonard picks up the second technical! This player on the come-up ejected! Heavy feet!
Son Goku misses! Even a bushi can't fix that shot!
Ted Bundy uses their size out there! The serial killer has a built-in advantage!
Ted Bundy, this first-ballot legend, sucking wind after that sprint! The 48 regulation minutes of battle!
Victor Wembanyama, this oversized freak, hangs the head. Tough loss despite nerves of steel effort.
Son Goku refuses Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest's handshake. Victor Wembanyama offers a limp one with just his fingertips. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
My Team ends the season #8 with a 6W-9L record. Season MVP: Victor Wembanyama.
Season Journal
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. The team with no name, baby!
Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Victor Wembanyama on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 224 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them.
The opposing locker room before the game, you know what they talk about? Not the game plan. Not the offensive scheme. No. They talk about HIM. "How do we stop him?" "Who takes the matchup?" "Does he look tired?" Spoiler: he's never tired. And even when he looks tired, it's a trap. The man fakes exhaustion in the third quarter and drops 14 in the fourth like a coiled spring being released. Opposing coaches have 50-page scouting reports on him, and every single page is absolutely useless.
The chef's surprise of the evening is Son Goku. A bushi by profession. No, it's not a joke, it's an actual coaching staff decision. The GM nearly had a heart attack when he saw the signing, but the coach said: "Trust me, this guy can handle the feudal lord with surgical precision, imagine what he can do with a basketball." Spoiler: so far, not much. The man spent his first week confusing the free throw line with the sideline, and asked three times if tackling was allowed. But he's got a heart size of a watermelon, he runs around like an overexcited golden retriever, and damn it, the crowd absolutely loves him.
Money-wise, this is solid. Not the penthouse but a nice apartment with a view of the playoffs. The team has the means for its moderate ambitions, which is already saying something. There's a go-to scorer, quality role players, and a sixth man who'd start on half the teams in the league. The owner keeps his hand on the wallet but knows when to open it. The danger? Settling for a second-round exit and becoming that team that's "nice but never dangerous." Tonight, they want to prove otherwise.
My Team ends the season #8 with a 6W-9L record. Season MVP: Victor Wembanyama.
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