big balls inc — basketball_team 🇬🇧
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | Denver Horse-Track | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Houston Blast-Off | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 8 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Miami Heart-Attack | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | big balls inc | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to what is probably going to be the most electric night of this season. The arena is packed to the rafters, there are people standing in the corridors, security gave up trying to control anything, and the DJ is blasting so loud the scoreboard is vibrating. We are here to talk about a legendary franchise. A team that has seen sacred monsters pass through, that has lived through dream seasons and nightmare years, that has rebuilt ten times over and always comes back with the same devouring hunger. Ladies and gentlemen... Big balls inc! Listen, I've watched hundreds of players come and go in my broadcasting career, but Stephen Curry is something else entirely. He's the kind of player who makes you jump out of your chair and scream "OH SHIT" at your TV without even realizing it. Standing at 188 cm, a wingspan like a pterodactyl, and a killer instinct that even the coaches can't explain. This man feels the game. He knows where the ball is going to land before the shot even leaves the hand. He reads passes like he's reading minds. At this level, it's not basketball anymore, it's straight-up sorcery. His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket. And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the cherry on top, the plot twist nobody saw coming: the coach recruited Kratos. A warrior. To play professional basketball. I'll repeat for the people in the back: a warrior, with notched blade, on an NBA hardwood. The guy showed up at his first practice asking where the locker rooms were... And went the wrong way. Twice. But the coach swears on everything holy that Kratos has "something." We don't know what exactly, but he has "something." In the meantime, the guy runs around like a headless chicken, confuses contested ground with the basketball, and has already racked up three technical fouls for trying to negotiate with the referee. Financially, we're in no man's land. Not poor, not rich. The kind of team that eyes the trade deadline with longing but knows it can only afford the appetizer, not the full meal. They've built a solid core through smart Draft picks and savvy free agent signings, but don't ask them to compete with the big dogs. Their weapon? Chemistry. And a coach who turns lead into gold. Well, bronze. Okay, silver on a good day.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
78-123 (L)
Mario crosses over into position! This all-time great not wasting any time!
Kratos can't get it to fall! Gravity treats the orange differently than the contested ground!
Seijuro Akashi coughs up the rock! Sometimes predictable game strikes again on the low block!
Stephen Curry scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Mario glares at the scoreboard! This global icon not happy with the situation!
Halftime. The physio pounces on Seijuro Akashi to massage his thighs. Juicy anecdote: Seijuro Akashi was caught dancing the Macarena in the showers. Alone. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
Stephen Curry, this smooth operator, bobbles the pill and the chance evaporates from mid-range!
Lionel Messi soldiers on! The soldier who scores the winning goal with their football boots!
Seijuro Akashi, this versatile guy, gets stripped along the baseline! Tendency to rush exposed!
Seijuro Akashi crosses over angrily after the turnover! This total unknown spiraling!
This dark horse Seijuro Akashi congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this dark horse.
Seijuro Akashi bites his lip, fists clenched. Stephen Curry shakes his head slowly, in disbelief. I tried to take a selfie with the court in the background. My thumb is over the lens. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
103-105 (L)
And we're underway! Stephen Curry touches the damn ball first! This big-name player looks eager!
The technical flair of Lionel Messi recalls their association football player days. A reverse layup! Sublime!
Mario left in the dust! Even a plumber moves faster than that!
Kratos clanks another one off the rim! This well-respected player needs to find rhythm!
This established player Kratos ignites the rally! The deficit is shrinking!
Well-deserved break. Kratos looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Little scoop: Kratos logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
Seijuro Akashi can't convert in the third quarter! This surprise package shrinks in the moment!
This multi-time All-Star Stephen Curry hangs the head after the miss! Deflated along the baseline!
Stephen Curry goes to work with conviction! This established star believes tonight is the night!
Seijuro Akashi, this combo guard, chokes on the big stage! At the jump ball miss!
Lionel Messi takes the loss hard! Hard as the winning goal on a bad association football player day!
Kratos walks toward the tunnel without a word. Lionel Messi stares at the scoreboard as if it might change. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
114-102 (W)
Seijuro Akashi steps back onto the floor! The crowd roars for this dude out of nowhere!
Mario dunks the leather with insane court vision. And it drops! Nothing you can do!
Lionel Messi with the help-side monster swat! This franchise cornerstone always in position!
This unknown gem Seijuro Akashi finds the open man! Assist and a floater!
Kratos creates the switch! Smooth adjustment, warrior-level thinking!
Break! Kratos heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. Anecdote: Kratos tried to impress the Orlando Magic-Beans players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
Seijuro Akashi buries a double-clutch layup at half court! This unknown gem is on fire tonight!
A standing ovation as Kratos, this swiss-army-knife type, is introduced! Goosebumps!
This jersey-selling name Stephen Curry unites the locker room! Nerves of steel captain's mentality!
The legend of Stephen Curry grows! This top-tier talent adding another chapter along the baseline!
This headliner Stephen Curry walks off to a standing ovation! An electric crowd! Incredible!
Kratos does the robot at center court while Lionel Messi pretends to be an airplane. The crowd loves it. I tried to take a selfie with the court in the background. My thumb is over the lens. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
96-122 (L)
Stephen Curry, this world-class player, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Mario misfires at half court! Even this household name has off nights!
Mario double-dribbles! Unclogging the flooded drain doesn't have that rule!
This generational talent Lionel Messi fouls reaching in! Ego the size of Texas on defense!
Seijuro Akashi, this all-around player, takes over from way beyond the arc. A pull-up jumper! That's elite!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Lionel Messi picks up the pace. Fun fact: Lionel Messi tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Stephen Curry storms to the bench! This reliable star is visibly upset!
Seijuro Akashi, this dark horse, sends the basketball wide! The touch is off tonight!
Mario overloads one side! Loading up with plumber strategy!
Mario slows down visibly! Slower than their pipe wrench on low power!
Stephen Curry had the chances but couldn't convert. This world-class player left wanting.
Seijuro Akashi kicks his towel across the floor. Mario has already left for the locker room, alone. I learned backstage that Mario also does association football player on weekends. That explains those reflexes. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
112-107 (W)
Mario locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a plumber who means business!
Lionel Messi reads the play and picks off the pass! Transition opportunity!
Brick! Lionel Messi misfires driving to the hoop! Hot head at the worst time!
Lionel Messi knocks down a buzzer beater from mid-range! Ice in the veins!
Mario with the perfect cut! Precision of a plumber with their pipe wrench!
Off to the locker room. Stephen Curry has already drained two water bottles. Juicy intel: Stephen Curry turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
This hall-of-fame lock Lionel Messi takes over in crunch time! Next-level basketball IQ in crunch time!
Kratos times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A double team at half court!
Seijuro Akashi, this do-it-all player, commands a cathedral silence! The arena belongs to this unknown gem!
This elite player Stephen Curry silences the crowd! A sky hook back to the basket! Stone cold!
This absolute legend Lionel Messi wraps up a sensational performance! Victory is sweet!
Kratos and Stephen Curry carry Lionel Messi like a trophy across the entire court. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
106-104 (W)
Lionel Messi steps onto the hardwood! From scoring the winning goal to this, game time!
Mario holds the line in the high post! The discipline of a plumber with their pipe wrench!
Seijuro Akashi with a wild attempt! This guy nobody was talking about not finding the range tonight!
Kratos with another euro-step! You can't stop this man!
Kratos executes the delay! Patient as a warrior waiting for the notched blade results!
Cut! Halftime. Kratos's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Little secret: Kratos listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Lionel Messi with the heads-up play! Alert as an association football player watching the winning goal!
Stephen Curry picks the pocket of the ball handler! Straight robbery!
The building is buzzing! Seijuro Akashi and a crowd fully behind them creating magic!
Lionel Messi delivers in the clutch! A two-handed slam back to the basket! This absolute legend is ice cold!
Mario owns the night! Owner of the den and the flooded drain alike!
Seijuro Akashi rips off his jersey and launches it into the crowd. Stephen Curry does the same. The coach rolls his eyes. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
89-108 (L)
Mario checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Kratos throws up a clunker! The notched blade would weep at that trajectory!
Stephen Curry with the lazy pass! Lack of consistency leading to easy points!
Kratos gets back-doored! Didn't see it, like not seeing the contested ground behind the notched blade!
Seijuro Akashi with the highlight-reel sky hook! This who-is-this-guy player owning the moment!
Halftime! Kratos looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Did you know? Kratos tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
Mario attacks the towel! This living legend showing limited stamina!
Lionel Messi, this pocket rocket, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this franchise cornerstone!
Mario uses a relentless run and gun to get open! Open space created with their pipe wrench smarts!
Kratos wipes sweat with the tall socks! Drenched, the warrior has been putting in work!
Kratos wipes a tear! A warrior who poured everything into the effort!
Seijuro Akashi bites the inside of his cheek. Stephen Curry pinches the bridge of his nose. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
96-103 (L)
Stephen Curry, this multi-time All-Star, draws first blood! A floater to start!
Lionel Messi bricks it! Not the same accuracy as scoring the winning goal!
Intercepted! Kratos's pass snatched right out of the air! A warrior would never be that careless!
Lionel Messi overcommits! Going all-in like an association football player on the winning goal, but wrong!
A step-back three from Stephen Curry on the low block! That's a certified bucket-getter!
End of the first half. Lionel Messi is beet red but still standing. Rumor has it Lionel Messi does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Mario slams the Spalding in frustration! Limited stamina on full display!
Kratos shoots an air ball in an electric crowd! A warrior lost in the noise!
Seijuro Akashi reads the defense perfectly! Scary good handles and a sky-high basketball IQ!
This global icon Mario has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
Stephen Curry pulls up to the tunnel in disappointment. This big-name player will learn from this.
Stephen Curry unclasps his chain and squeezes it in his fist. Kratos runs a hand down his face. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
102-122 (L)
This absolute legend Lionel Messi comes out firing! An and-one in the first minute!
Stephen Curry gets a clean look but defense that's basically a suggestion costs the bucket!
This jersey-selling name Stephen Curry gets pickpocketed facing the rim! Sloppy handling!
Seijuro Akashi falls asleep on the weak side! Sometimes predictable game exposed!
This unknown gem Seijuro Akashi with a picture-perfect devastating dunk! The crowd goes wild!
The locker room. Mario sprawls out full-length on the bench. They say Mario eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
Kratos walks away muttering! Muttering about the contested ground under their breath!
Seijuro Akashi drives the damn ball but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
Seijuro Akashi pushes the pace in transition! Iron discipline showing in every play!
Lionel Messi is dead on their feet! Running on fumes, the association football player is spent!
This total unknown Seijuro Akashi leaves the court with head held high. Fought to the end.
Lionel Messi's brow is furrowed, lips pressed thin. Stephen Curry breathes through his nose, hard, steady, trying to calm down. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
85-112 (L)
The palace of hoops welcomes Kratos! The warrior with the contested ground has arrived!
Mario misses! Even a plumber can't fix that shot!
Turnover by Lionel Messi! Scoring the winning goal requires less coordination, clearly!
Mario loses the screen battle! Hot head around the picks!
An alley-oop from Mario! This living legend just keeps delivering!
Break. Lionel Messi asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. Confession: Lionel Messi believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Lionel Messi slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than an association football player hits the workbench!
Kratos, this player on the come-up, comes up empty! A euro-step off target driving to the hoop!
Mario counters the press! Problem solved, plumber style!
Seijuro Akashi goes to work but the legs won't cooperate! Heavy feet catching up!
Kratos sits on the bench post-game! Sitting like a warrior after the notched blade broke!
Kratos sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Mario puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
91-126 (L)
This multi-time All-Star Stephen Curry means business! Fast start along the baseline!
Seijuro Akashi launches and fires but misses everything! Ego the size of Texas tonight!
Kratos fades away the orange right to the defense! Costly mistake by this up-and-coming baller!
This living legend Mario gives up the offensive rebound! Sometimes predictable game when boxing out!
This certified bucket Stephen Curry throws an elbow in frustration! Limited stamina on full display!
Off to the locker room. Mario has already drained two water bottles. Anecdote: Mario lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
Lionel Messi attacks but overcooks it! Lack of consistency showing up again!
Mario misses the rotation! Too tired, like a plumber too tired for the flooded drain!
Stephen Curry throws it away! Occasional mental lapses under pressure back to the basket!
Mario stares in disbelief! The look of a plumber who just lost everything!
This hungry young player Seijuro Akashi tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Mario and Seijuro Akashi walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. Behind the scenes, I learned Seijuro Akashi was also an association football player in a past life. You can feel it in the game. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
91-122 (L)
Kratos starts in the leader! Playing the leader way a warrior plays with the notched blade!
Lionel Messi can't convert! The association football player's touch with the winning goal deserted them!
This solid pro Kratos loses concentration and the leather with it!
Lionel Messi gets crossed over! Ankles broken like the winning goal on a rough day!
Seijuro Akashi, this smooth operator, posts up and delivers a half-court heave! Textbook!
Halftime whistle! Kratos slides down against the hallway wall. Rumor has it Kratos tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
This total unknown Seijuro Akashi fouls hard out of frustration! Limited stamina showing!
Kratos misses from the corner! At half court is no place for the notched blade!
Stephen Curry posts up into the right spacing! Silky smooth technique and elite court awareness!
Mario leans on their knees! Gassed, but the plumber keeps going!
This global icon Lionel Messi shakes hands and moves on. In the end, defense that's basically a suggestion proved costly.
Seijuro Akashi refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. Stephen Curry watches it and immediately regrets it. I learned that Seijuro Akashi's father was an association football player. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
87-131 (L)
Seijuro Akashi, this versatile guy, sets the tone immediately! Scary good handles from the jump!
Mario launches from deep and misses! A plumber's range doesn't apply here!
Lionel Messi lets fly into a dead end back to the basket! Turnover! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Stephen Curry gets burned on the drive! Lack of consistency in lateral movement!
Stephen Curry mouths off and picks up a T! Hot head taking over!
Back in the locker room, Stephen Curry sits down and stares at the ceiling. Anecdote: Stephen Curry lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Seijuro Akashi, this all-around player, gets the look on the low block but the lid's on the rim!
This player nobody saw coming Seijuro Akashi calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Tendency to rush taking its toll!
Mario throws it into the stands! What was that from this franchise cornerstone!
This well-respected player Kratos stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Stephen Curry reflects on what could have been. Hot head the difference tonight.
Kratos's eyes are glassy. Mario mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
82-126 (L)
Seijuro Akashi, this diamond in the rough, embraces the packed arena! Game on!
Mario short on the attempt! Needs the reach of their pipe wrench!
Lionel Messi throws it out of bounds! Like launching their football boots into the void!
Mario gets burned on the switch! Hotter than a plumber's worst day on the job!
Mario drops their shoulders! Deflated, even a plumber's spirit has limits!
End of the second quarter. Lionel Messi is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Did you know Lionel Messi entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Stephen Curry fires a thunderous slam at the buzzer but can't connect! Lack of consistency showing!
Kratos calls for the sub! Even a warrior's stamina with the notched blade has limits!
This max-contract guy Stephen Curry with turnover number lengths ahead! Occasional mental lapses is piling up!
Lionel Messi drops the head after another miss! Limited stamina sapping the confidence!
Mario vows to come back stronger! Stronger than their pipe wrench reinforced with the flooded drain!
Lionel Messi sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. Kratos winces. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
85-129 (L)
Kratos gets the crowd going early! Setting the tone like a warrior on day one!
Seijuro Akashi launches an off-balance shot and... Airball! Ego the size of Texas at its peak!
This first-ballot legend Lionel Messi forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Lionel Messi, this scrappy guard, gets blown by on the perimeter! Tendency to force bad shots in the legs!
Seijuro Akashi, this all-around player, waves off the play call! Injury-prone body hurting the team!
End of the first act. Mario is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Physio's confession: Mario purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
This bonafide star Stephen Curry muscles up a catch-and-shoot triple but can't get it to fall!
Stephen Curry short-arms the shot from fatigue! This headliner has nothing left!
Kratos loses the Spalding! A warrior would never be this careless!
Mario, this compact dynamo, throws the hands up! Exasperated along the baseline!
Stephen Curry, this All-Star caliber talent, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Lionel Messi claps his hands in frustration. Stephen Curry clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
big balls inc finishes #15 (3W-12L). Better luck next season! MVP: Stephen Curry.
Season Journal
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to what is probably going to be the most electric night of this season. The arena is packed to the rafters, there are people standing in the corridors, security gave up trying to control anything, and the DJ is blasting so loud the scoreboard is vibrating. We are here to talk about a legendary franchise. A team that has seen sacred monsters pass through, that has lived through dream seasons and nightmare years, that has rebuilt ten times over and always comes back with the same devouring hunger. Ladies and gentlemen... Big balls inc!
Listen, I've watched hundreds of players come and go in my broadcasting career, but Stephen Curry is something else entirely. He's the kind of player who makes you jump out of your chair and scream "OH SHIT" at your TV without even realizing it. Standing at 188 cm, a wingspan like a pterodactyl, and a killer instinct that even the coaches can't explain. This man feels the game. He knows where the ball is going to land before the shot even leaves the hand. He reads passes like he's reading minds. At this level, it's not basketball anymore, it's straight-up sorcery.
His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket.
And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the cherry on top, the plot twist nobody saw coming: the coach recruited Kratos. A warrior. To play professional basketball. I'll repeat for the people in the back: a warrior, with notched blade, on an NBA hardwood. The guy showed up at his first practice asking where the locker rooms were... And went the wrong way. Twice. But the coach swears on everything holy that Kratos has "something." We don't know what exactly, but he has "something." In the meantime, the guy runs around like a headless chicken, confuses contested ground with the basketball, and has already racked up three technical fouls for trying to negotiate with the referee.
Financially, we're in no man's land. Not poor, not rich. The kind of team that eyes the trade deadline with longing but knows it can only afford the appetizer, not the full meal. They've built a solid core through smart Draft picks and savvy free agent signings, but don't ask them to compete with the big dogs. Their weapon? Chemistry. And a coach who turns lead into gold. Well, bronze. Okay, silver on a good day.
big balls inc finishes #15 (3W-12L). Better luck next season! MVP: Stephen Curry.
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