My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | My Team | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 11 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 12 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Miami Heart-Attack | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Houston Blast-Off | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. The team with no name, baby! If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Shaquille O'Neal. Standing at 216 cm, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball. And the most terrifying thing about him? It's not the stats, it's not the size, it's the calm. You know that moment where the arena is on its feet, the clock is ticking down the final seconds, sweat is pouring... And he's just chewing his gum like he's waiting for the bus? Then he loads up. And drains it. Stone cold. In front of 20,000 people on the verge of cardiac arrest. That's what a franchise player is: the guy who carries everyone on his shoulders and still makes it look easy. Hold on tight because the next name is going to make you spit out your beer: Goku. Profession? Farmer. Yeah. The coach saw him on TV, called his agent (who didn't exist), and offered him a ten-day contract "to see." The guy showed up with seed dibber, a ham sandwich, and bulletproof enthusiasm. At his first practice, he attempted a dunk and ended up hanging from the net like a cat stuck in a tree. The fire department came. Twice. But he's got heart, the man, and apparently the precision he puts into stubborn soil could translate to mid-range shooting. We believe. Well, the coach believes. The rest of us broke out the popcorn. Money-wise, this is solid. Not the penthouse but a nice apartment with a view of the playoffs. The team has the means for its moderate ambitions, which is already saying something. There's a go-to scorer, quality role players, and a sixth man who'd start on half the teams in the league. The owner keeps his hand on the wallet but knows when to open it. The danger? Settling for a second-round exit and becoming that team that's "nice but never dangerous." Tonight, they want to prove otherwise.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
89-132 (L)
Goku, this all-around player, announced to huge cheers! A cathedral silence!
Shaquille O'Neal, this all-time great, comes up empty! A fadeaway jumper off target off the pick and roll!
Goku gets picked! A farmer getting the stubborn soil stolen in broad daylight!
Goku gets screened out! Stuck behind the seed dibber like it's a wall!
Superman pounds the scorer's table! Frustrated! The superhero in them is showing!
Into the tunnel. Shaquille O'Neal grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Anecdote: Shaquille O'Neal fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
Jesus Christ shoots short! Not enough juice! Even a messiah would cringe!
Jesus Christ is gassed! More tired than after a full day of competing the game!
Goku, this versatile guy, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted in the paint!
Wilt Chamberlain slams the pill in frustration! Injury-prone body on full display!
Shaquille O'Neal sits alone on the bench. This first-ballot legend processing the defeat.
Shaquille O'Neal sits on the floor in the hallway. Wilt Chamberlain sits down next to him. Nobody speaks. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
126-81 (W)
Wilt Chamberlain takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Superman, this living legend, sinks a bank shot with surgical precision from mid-range!
Superman, this do-it-all player, runs the offense with insane court vision! Beautiful passing!
Superman with the teardrop alley-oop! Beautiful as a superhero's finest the game!
Superman with the defensive masterclass! A superhero teaching everyone a lesson!
First half is done. Wilt Chamberlain is chugging Gatorade like it's water. Word is Wilt Chamberlain sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
This once-in-a-lifetime player Superman with a cold-blooded half-court heave! No conscience!
Goku adds another pull-up jumper to the demolition! The seed dibber destruction!
Jesus Christ tries the behind-the-back and loses it! This hall-of-fame lock too fancy!
Shaquille O'Neal pumps the fist! This first-ballot legend feeling it in the paint! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench!
Superman celebrates at the final buzzer! Celebration worthy of their bare hands!
Wilt Chamberlain jumps so high from joy he nearly touches the scoreboard. Almost. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
114-102 (W)
Superman wins the opening tip! Tipping off with superhero energy!
A layup by Wilt Chamberlain! The crowd erupts! Scary good handles personified!
This absolute legend Superman forces the bad pass! Silky smooth technique creating turnovers!
Jesus Christ with the incredible court vision! This undisputed superstar sees passes nobody else does!
This elite player Wilt Chamberlain adjusts the angle mid-drive! Next-level basketball IQ body control!
The players leave the court. Superman clings to the tunnel railing. True story: Superman had his parking spot stolen by Orlando Magic-Beans's mascot. Still talks about it. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
Wilt Chamberlain, this multi-time All-Star, reads the play perfectly and delivers an and-one!
The crowd is on its feet! An incredible energy as Shaquille O'Neal takes the court!
Goku picks up the assignment! Locked in, the farmer accepts the mission!
Wilt Chamberlain explodes through pain, through doubt! This reliable star transcending!
Goku high-fives the crowd! Those farmer hands spreading joy!
Jesus Christ drops to his knees and kisses the court. Shaquille O'Neal pretends to gag. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
119-73 (W)
Superman, this hall-of-fame lock, draws first blood! A catch-and-shoot triple to start!
Wilt Chamberlain with the highlight-reel half-court heave! This bonafide star owning the moment!
Superman, this do-it-all player, delivers the entry pass! Beautiful feed into the post!
Wilt Chamberlain, this absolute unit, uses every inch to deliver a buzzer beater!
Shaquille O'Neal forces the shot-clock violation! Natural-born leadership on full display!
Finally a breather. Shaquille O'Neal has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Anecdote: Shaquille O'Neal once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
Superman scores on the putback! Recycling the game is second nature for a superhero!
Superman empties the bench! Everyone gets a shift, the superhero way!
Goku, this reliable star, sneezes mid-free throw! Bless you and miss!
Wilt Chamberlain with the primal scream after the and-one! This world-class player is fired up!
Jesus Christ hugs the coach! This all-time great with a complete performance!
Goku performs an absolutely ridiculous victory dance. Superman imitates it. It's worse. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
126-93 (W)
Wilt Chamberlain opens with a buzzer-beater! This All-Star caliber talent making an early statement!
Wilt Chamberlain, this tower, uses strength and skill for a euro-step! Complete player!
Jesus Christ penetrates the ball with precision! Assist in transition! Floor general!
Jesus Christ with another and-one! You can't stop this man!
Goku plays the passing angle perfectly! Deflection by this top-tier talent!
Heading in. Wilt Chamberlain's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. They say Wilt Chamberlain has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
Goku scores again! When you're a farmer by trade, the Spalding is child's play!
Jesus Christ and the starters head to the bench! Job done, game over!
Jesus Christ started competing the broken shot clock! Actually helpful!
Superman salutes the bench! A superhero's salute to the their bare hands crew!
Goku walks off the arena victorious! A farmer who conquered it all tonight!
Goku and Jesus Christ carry Shaquille O'Neal like a trophy across the entire court. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
124-95 (W)
Tip-off! Shaquille O'Neal gets us started! Let's go!
Jesus Christ attacks from way beyond the arc and finishes with a devastating dunk! Too good!
Wilt Chamberlain shuts the door facing the rim! That's how you play defense!
Jesus Christ blows past and dishes! Gorgeous feed from mid-range! Eyes in the back of the head!
Wilt Chamberlain slows the pace when the team needs it! This reliable star tempo control!
The players leave the court. Superman clings to the tunnel railing. Rumor has it Superman talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
Wilt Chamberlain drains an off-balance shot from the low block! Textbook night-in night-out consistency!
Superman gets the loudest cheer! Louder than a superhero's proudest moment!
This established star Wilt Chamberlain runs the ball patiently! Searching for the perfect shot!
The resilience of Goku! A farmer who never gives up, on or off the court!
Wilt Chamberlain daps up the opponent! Respect from this reliable star after the battle!
Jesus Christ slides across the court in his socks while Shaquille O'Neal splashes water on everyone. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
108-97 (W)
Goku announces themselves! The farmer has arrived and the building knows it!
A step-back three from Shaquille O'Neal! This undisputed superstar is putting on a show tonight!
Jesus Christ times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A crucial offensive board in the paint!
Superman, this combo guard, finds the trailer! A two-handed slam off the assist, easy money!
Jesus Christ calls the audible! Adapting on the fly, that's messiah mentality!
Back in the locker room, Wilt Chamberlain sits down and stares at the ceiling. Juicy intel: Wilt Chamberlain turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
Shaquille O'Neal, this walking skyscraper, dominates from the left corner and puts up an off-balance shot! Unstoppable!
Deafening noise! Wilt Chamberlain penetrates and the building shakes!
This multi-time All-Star Wilt Chamberlain unites the locker room! Night-in night-out consistency captain's mentality!
Goku's farmer colleagues watch from the stands, the stubborn soil banners held high!
This household name Shaquille O'Neal secures the win with night-in night-out consistency! Another one in the bag!
Shaquille O'Neal takes Wilt Chamberlain by the hand and they bow to the crowd like stage actors. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
108-98 (W)
Superman comes out hot! Heated up and ready, the superhero means business!
A finger roll by Goku! The building is rocking! This All-Star caliber talent takeover!
Superman locks down their opponent! Tight as a superhero gripping their bare hands!
This absolute legend Shaquille O'Neal finds the open man! Assist and a step-back three!
Superman makes the hockey assist! The unsung play of a superhero behind the game!
Both teams head in. Wilt Chamberlain has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Fun fact: Wilt Chamberlain was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Shaquille O'Neal with the decisive and-one! A gym-rat work ethic when it matters most!
Fans hold up the game signs for Superman! What a scene!
Shaquille O'Neal dunks the Spalding with patience! This certified GOAT candidate trusting the system!
Jesus Christ's messiah background shines through every play with the game!
That's the game! Shaquille O'Neal finishes with a monster performance! This absolute legend victorious!
Jesus Christ throws chalk powder like LeBron. Wilt Chamberlain coughs for two minutes straight. Tonight I had a revelation: Wilt Chamberlain runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
121-99 (W)
This All-Star caliber talent Wilt Chamberlain opens the scoring! A scoop layup! Early advantage!
Superman, this household name, absolutely nails a tear drop under the basket! Take a bow!
Jesus Christ shuts down the lane! Closed for business, like a messiah closing the game!
Shaquille O'Neal with the skip pass! Assist leads to an open floater!
Superman draws the double team! Attracting attention, the superhero is a magnet out there!
That's a wrap for now. Shaquille O'Neal dives into the tunnel. Did you know Shaquille O'Neal plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
A finger roll from downtown by Shaquille O'Neal! This colossus with the long range!
The arena is electric! This basketball god Shaquille O'Neal thriving in immense pressure!
Goku feeds the hot hand! Feeding the offense with farmer generosity!
Remember this moment! Wilt Chamberlain is making history with an and-one!
This headliner Goku wraps up a sensational performance! Victory is sweet!
Jesus Christ and Goku share a 30-second hug. Superman wants in. Gets pushed away. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
104-101 (W)
Game time! Shaquille O'Neal and this all-time great ready to put on a show at the field house!
Shaquille O'Neal slides to the passing lane and steals it! Scary good handles!
A floater by Wilt Chamberlain in transition is way off! Tough night for this franchise guy!
A free throw from Superman! This potential GOAT just keeps delivering!
Goku, this solid build, seals the defender for position! Fundamentals!
Break. Shaquille O'Neal collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. Intel: Shaquille O'Neal asked Denver Horse-Track for their energy drink recipe. They refused. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
Jesus Christ with the go-ahead buzzer beater! A messiah taking charge with their bare hands!
Wilt Chamberlain a perfect contest at the critical moment! Scary good handles right on cue!
Shaquille O'Neal, this giant, commands a hostile crowd! The arena belongs to this undisputed superstar!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Superman drains the pressure shot! On a clutch free throw! That's a superstar!
Wilt Chamberlain can breathe! The win is secured, it's over!
Superman slides across the court in his socks while Wilt Chamberlain splashes water on everyone. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
109-114 (L)
Shaquille O'Neal, this undisputed superstar, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Wilt Chamberlain pulls up and drills a bank shot! Can't teach that!
Goku bites on the pump fake! This max-contract guy sent flying back to the basket!
Shaquille O'Neal with the contested pull-up jumper in transition! No good! Bad selection!
Goku steals and scores! This multi-time All-Star cutting the gap along the baseline!
Halftime. Goku is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Fun fact: Goku failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
Jesus Christ misses both free throws! A messiah failing the game inspection, twice!
Goku mouths off and picks up a T! Tendency to rush taking over!
What a journey for Wilt Chamberlain! From the bench to the spotlight! You love to see it!
Shaquille O'Neal lets fly and bricks it! Injury-prone body in overtime!
Jesus Christ sits on the bench post-game! Sitting like a messiah after their bare hands broke!
Shaquille O'Neal's eyes are red, jaw tight. Jesus Christ apologizes to the coach, voice cracking. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
107-87 (W)
Shaquille O'Neal fires up the crowd to open the game! This guy with rings on every finger starting strong!
Wilt Chamberlain takes off the pill with eyes in the back of the head. And it drops! Nothing you can do!
Wilt Chamberlain with the help-side monster swat! This reliable star always in position!
Superman generates another look! Creative vision worthy of a superhero!
Superman uses a relentless run and gun brilliantly! Strategy from competing the game!
Break! Goku rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. I've been told Goku always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Break's over, the players take their positions.
Goku floats one in in the paint! Delicate as a farmer with the seed dibber!
The crowd chants Goku's name! Wild stands for the farmer with the seed dibber!
Jesus Christ tips the rebound to a teammate! Selfless play from this messiah!
Watch Superman move! The footwork of a superhero navigating the game!
It's over! Goku delivers the goods! This elite player walks off a winner!
Jesus Christ and Wilt Chamberlain share a 30-second hug. Goku wants in. Gets pushed away. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
96-110 (L)
Jesus Christ steps onto the field house! From competing the game to this, game time!
Jesus Christ, this do-it-all player, draws the foul but can't capitalize! Heavy feet!
This guy with rings on every finger Jesus Christ forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Jesus Christ gets blown by! Even a messiah couldn't stop that!
Wilt Chamberlain with the smooth bucket! This top-tier talent making it look easy!
Break! Goku rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. True story: Goku had his parking spot stolen by Boston Ring-Chasers's mascot. Still talks about it. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
Wilt Chamberlain lets fly and kicks the stanchion! This max-contract guy losing composure!
Wilt Chamberlain blows past but the shot rims out! Hot head rears its ugly head!
Jesus Christ plays the chess match! Outsmarted them like a messiah on their best day!
Goku can't get lift! Legs heavy as the seed dibber after the contest!
Goku spins to the tunnel in disappointment. This big-name player will learn from this.
Goku punches his locker when he gets to the locker room. Superman slides down the wall to the floor. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
109-107 (W)
Wilt Chamberlain, this beanpole, takes the court! The wild stands is electric!
Superman holds the line in the free-throw line! The discipline of a superhero with their bare hands!
Shaquille O'Neal with a rough step-back three at the buzzer! Occasional mental lapses at the worst time!
Goku pops the jumper! Clean as the seed dibber after a polish!
Wilt Chamberlain goes to work into the right spacing! Freakish explosiveness and elite court awareness!
Break! Shaquille O'Neal takes his jersey off before even reaching the locker room. Juicy intel: Shaquille O'Neal turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. Break's over, the players take their positions.
Goku with the clutch block! Not in this house, says the farmer!
Jesus Christ denies the pass! Their bare hands interception skills on full display!
Superman high-fives courtside fans! Those superhero hands spreading the love!
Goku with the killer crossover on the decisive possession! This farmer has handles!
Shaquille O'Neal, this once-in-a-lifetime player, with the post-game interview smile! Scary good handles all night!
Wilt Chamberlain rips the net off the rim. Jesus Christ wraps it around his neck like a scarf. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
100-98 (W)
Wilt Chamberlain attacks into position! This certified bucket not wasting any time!
Shaquille O'Neal forces the step-out-of-bounds! This basketball god hawking the ball!
This max-contract guy Wilt Chamberlain short-arms a sky hook from the right corner! Not enough lift!
Goku rises and fires! Cultivating the stubborn soil never felt this athletic!
Jesus Christ reads the defense like a book! Perfect play call from this messiah!
Time to breathe. Jesus Christ has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Locker room anecdote: Jesus Christ talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
This undisputed superstar Superman with the heroic surgical steal! Preserves the lead!
Goku, this combo guard, with the clutch left-handed block! The crowd is on its feet!
A cathedral silence fills the arena! This guy everybody knows Wilt Chamberlain feeds off the energy!
Goku, this top-tier talent, with the cold-blooded thunderous slam facing the rim!
Superman fires away to the crowd! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! This all-time great gave everything!
Jesus Christ does the floss while Superman spins like a top. Shaquille O'Neal just stands there, arms crossed. Cool. Tonight I learned Jesus Christ used to be a messiah before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. And now, a brand new episode of 'Desperately Seeking My Cat.' Good night, everyone.
My Team finishes #3, a fantastic season! 12W-3L. Season MVP: Shaquille O'Neal.
Season Journal
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. The team with no name, baby!
If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Shaquille O'Neal. Standing at 216 cm, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball.
And the most terrifying thing about him? It's not the stats, it's not the size, it's the calm. You know that moment where the arena is on its feet, the clock is ticking down the final seconds, sweat is pouring... And he's just chewing his gum like he's waiting for the bus? Then he loads up. And drains it. Stone cold. In front of 20,000 people on the verge of cardiac arrest. That's what a franchise player is: the guy who carries everyone on his shoulders and still makes it look easy.
Hold on tight because the next name is going to make you spit out your beer: Goku. Profession? Farmer. Yeah. The coach saw him on TV, called his agent (who didn't exist), and offered him a ten-day contract "to see." The guy showed up with seed dibber, a ham sandwich, and bulletproof enthusiasm. At his first practice, he attempted a dunk and ended up hanging from the net like a cat stuck in a tree. The fire department came. Twice. But he's got heart, the man, and apparently the precision he puts into stubborn soil could translate to mid-range shooting. We believe. Well, the coach believes. The rest of us broke out the popcorn.
Money-wise, this is solid. Not the penthouse but a nice apartment with a view of the playoffs. The team has the means for its moderate ambitions, which is already saying something. There's a go-to scorer, quality role players, and a sixth man who'd start on half the teams in the league. The owner keeps his hand on the wallet but knows when to open it. The danger? Settling for a second-round exit and becoming that team that's "nice but never dangerous." Tonight, they want to prove otherwise.
My Team finishes #3, a fantastic season! 12W-3L. Season MVP: Shaquille O'Neal.
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