ahhhhh — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | New York Over-Timers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Houston Blast-Off | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 15 | ahhhhh | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Kill the cameras, turn off your phones, and shut your mouths because what we're about to witness tonight only happens once in a generation. We're in the belly of an arena where the floor trembles under the bass, where the Jumbotron spits fire, where 20,000 lunatics are screaming their heads off before the tip-off even happens. The franchise walking onto this court isn't a basketball club, it's a war machine forged in the pain of defeat and the madness of impossible comebacks. Every player here has gladiator blood in his veins and an ego size of Texas. Ladies and gentlemen... Ahhhhh! If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Kevin Durant. Standing at 208 cm, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball. The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around. Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. John Smoltz is on this team. John Smoltz, who is a baseball player and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with baseball glove under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world. The budget is starting to look sexy. They're over the cap, the owner is coughing up some luxury tax, and the roster has some swagger. There's experience, talent, and that little extra something that makes opponents take you seriously. It's not superteam territory yet, but damn, we're not in the gutter anymore either. The GM built a smart roster with guys who complement each other well. The kind of team that can wreak havoc in the playoffs if the stars align.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
89-133 (L)
Tip-off! CaseOh gets us started! Let's go!
Wjfnwejfn can't hit the ocean right now! Another miss for this surprise package!
This certified bucket Kevin Durant gets pickpocketed from mid-range! Sloppy handling!
This potential breakout star John Smoltz misjudges the passing lane! Easy assist through!
This surprise package John Smoltz stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Into the tunnel. CaseOh grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Rumor has it CaseOh has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
Wjfnwejfn can't buy a bucket! Another miss under the basket! Frustrating!
CaseOh needs oxygen! More winded than a digital transformation consultant after overtime!
CaseOh with the bad read! Misreading the play like misreading the game!
This hidden prospect wjfnwejfn shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Despite the loss, John Smoltz held their own with the fastball! The baseball player fought!
Kevin Durant stands alone at center court as the lights go dim. John Smoltz comes back to get him. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
99-91 (W)
Opening possession for John Smoltz! First touch, like first touch of the baseball glove!
John Smoltz answers back with an alley-oop! A gym-rat work ethic under pressure!
CaseOh, this surprise package, switches seamlessly and locks up! Silky smooth technique shining through!
Kevin Durant with the skip pass! Assist leads to an open finger roll!
Kevin Durant makes the hockey pass! Nerves of steel finding the extra pass!
Back to the locker room. John Smoltz's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Bus driver's confession: John Smoltz raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
This max-contract guy Kevin Durant with a beautiful off-balance shot facing the rim! Poetry in motion!
The building is buzzing! Wjfnwejfn and wild stands creating magic!
John Smoltz picks up the assignment! Locked in, the baseball player accepts the mission!
John Smoltz proves that pitching the fastball builds character for the gym!
John Smoltz daps up the opposition! Class act, on and off the court!
CaseOh makes a heart with his hands toward the camera. Wjfnwejfn makes a bigger heart. Kevin Durant makes a massive heart. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
99-121 (L)
Game time! CaseOh and this surprise package ready to put on a show at the hardwood!
Kevin Durant forces up a devastating dunk over the defense! Injury-prone body! Bad decision!
Kevin Durant, this long boy, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted on the low block!
Kevin Durant gets posted up and scored on! This headliner overpowered!
CaseOh banks an off-balance shot off the glass! Geometry learned from the digital transformation consultant life!
Halftime. The doctor examines wjfnwejfn's shoulder while the others catch their breath. I've been told wjfnwejfn once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
Wjfnwejfn drops the head after another miss! Occasional mental lapses sapping the confidence!
John Smoltz whiffs on the jumper! A baseball player off their game with the baseball glove!
CaseOh drives with purpose every possession! This guy nobody was talking about chess master!
John Smoltz asks for the ball to slow the pace! This unknown gem needs air!
Wjfnwejfn walks off in silence. This surprise package gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Kevin Durant presses his forehead against the tunnel glass. CaseOh walks right past without noticing. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
104-115 (L)
Kevin Durant blows past with energy from the opening whistle! This world-class player locked in!
Kevin Durant misfires under the basket! Even this top-tier talent has off nights!
Kevin Durant with the lazy pass! Hot head leading to easy points!
This total unknown wjfnwejfn can't recover! Scored on back to the basket! Occasional mental lapses!
This player nobody saw coming wjfnwejfn is automatic from way beyond the arc! A scoop layup drops again!
Halftime whistle. John Smoltz flops into the first available chair. Rumor has it John Smoltz talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
This top-tier talent Kevin Durant fouls hard out of frustration! Lack of consistency showing!
Kevin Durant, this titan, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this bonafide star!
CaseOh spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
CaseOh bends over, hands on knees! Exhausted like a digital transformation consultant after their bare hands overtime!
John Smoltz refuses to make excuses! A baseball player owns the fastball failures too!
CaseOh mutters 'damn' under his breath. Kevin Durant says 'yeah' in the same tone. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
86-118 (L)
This rising star wjfnwejfn comes out aggressive! Opens with a deep three along the baseline!
CaseOh with the contested hook shot off the pick and roll! No good! Bad selection!
Wjfnwejfn blows past the basketball right to the defense! Costly mistake by this hungry young player!
This player nobody saw coming wjfnwejfn bites on the fake! Beaten from the right corner!
CaseOh, this hidden prospect, refuses to high-five! Tendency to force bad shots hurting the chemistry!
Back to the locker room. Kevin Durant punches his locker. Did you know? Kevin Durant once signed an autograph for a referee. During the game. Mid free-throw. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Kevin Durant gets a clean look but sometimes predictable game costs the bucket!
CaseOh finds a second wind! The digital transformation consultant engine roars back to life!
Stolen from CaseOh! A digital transformation consultant who let it slip through their fingers!
Wjfnwejfn steps back the towel! This hidden prospect showing limited stamina!
John Smoltz, this smooth operator, trudges off the gym. Lessons to take from this one.
Wjfnwejfn lets out a nervous laugh that sends chills down your spine. John Smoltz decides not to comment. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
85-115 (L)
Kevin Durant rises up onto the floor! The crowd roars for this max-contract guy!
Kevin Durant takes a tough off-balance shot and it doesn't go! Lack of consistency in shot selection!
John Smoltz loses the pill! A baseball player would never be this careless!
John Smoltz, this smooth operator, lets the shooter get free in transition! Costly lapse!
CaseOh treats the orange like the game and sinks it. Easy as pie for a digital transformation consultant!
Time to breathe. Kevin Durant has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Juicy intel: Kevin Durant turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
John Smoltz slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a baseball player hits the workbench!
This big-name player Kevin Durant throws up a prayer on the low block! Not answered!
CaseOh uses a switch-everything defense to get open! Open space created with their bare hands smarts!
Kevin Durant, this oversized freak, with tired legs at half court! Ego the size of Texas slowing this top-tier talent down!
Kevin Durant, this big-name player, takes the loss hard. Heavy feet at the wrong moments.
Kevin Durant pulls his cap down over his eyes. John Smoltz doesn't have a cap, and it shows. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
90-134 (L)
John Smoltz comes out hot! Heated up and ready, the baseball player means business!
This surprise package CaseOh misfires again! Injury-prone body could cost the team!
Wjfnwejfn throws it into the stands! What was that from this rising star!
This established star Kevin Durant commits the and-one foul! Ego the size of Texas in positioning!
CaseOh looks to the heavens! A digital transformation consultant praying for their bare hands to work!
Break. Kevin Durant's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Fun fact: Kevin Durant was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Kevin Durant, this mammoth, gets stuffed trying a layup! Denied!
John Smoltz, this solid build, looks exhausted at the top of the key! The legs are gone!
Turnover by CaseOh! Competing the game requires less coordination, clearly!
Kevin Durant slams the damn ball in frustration! Hot head on full display!
This big-name player Kevin Durant congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this big-name player.
Kevin Durant bites his lip, fists clenched. John Smoltz shakes his head slowly, in disbelief. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
109-107 (W)
Kevin Durant fires up the crowd to open the game! This jersey-selling name starting strong!
Wjfnwejfn, this smooth operator, erases the shot at the rim! Rim protector!
CaseOh shoots an air ball in wild stands! A digital transformation consultant lost in the noise!
John Smoltz, this smooth operator, elevates for a monster fadeaway jumper!
Kevin Durant reads the defense perfectly! Next-level basketball IQ and a sky-high basketball IQ!
End of the second quarter. Wjfnwejfn is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Little scoop: wjfnwejfn collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. We're back! The players look fired up.
CaseOh drives past the defender! An off-balance shot in the clutch! Incredible!
John Smoltz with the defensive masterclass! A baseball player teaching everyone a lesson!
Kevin Durant in palpable tension! This guy everybody knows has been waiting for this stage!
This big-name player Kevin Durant takes over in the third quarter! A killer instinct in crunch time!
CaseOh wraps up with a double-double! Double duty: their bare hands and the orange!
Kevin Durant and John Smoltz share a 30-second hug. Wjfnwejfn wants in. Gets pushed away. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
93-129 (L)
Wjfnwejfn takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
This jersey-selling name Kevin Durant whiffs on a double-clutch layup! The crowd groans!
Kevin Durant passes to nobody! This world-class player with a head-scratching decision!
CaseOh loses their assignment! Like losing their bare hands in the workshop!
CaseOh glares at the basketball! Like it personally betrayed this digital transformation consultant!
End of the first half. Kevin Durant is beet red but still standing. Little secret: Kevin Durant has a secret TikTok account with 12 followers. Posts cooking tutorials. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
Wjfnwejfn with the off-balance step-back three! This dude out of nowhere couldn't set the feet!
This rising star CaseOh stumbles! The fatigue is real after the 4 periods of 12 minutes!
John Smoltz commits the live-ball turnover! The baseball glove would be ashamed!
Kevin Durant, this big-name player, yells at the coaching staff! Occasional mental lapses causing friction!
This reliable star Kevin Durant shakes hands and moves on. In the end, sometimes predictable game proved costly.
John Smoltz takes a sip of water and spits it right back out. CaseOh doesn't drink. Throat too tight. Tonight I nearly had a heart attack at least four times. And I'm just the commentator. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
78-123 (L)
Wjfnwejfn, this solid build, takes the court! The cathedral silence is electric!
This guy nobody was talking about CaseOh rattles it out! So close yet so far off the pick and roll!
CaseOh with a wild pass that sails out! This dark horse giving it away!
Kevin Durant gets screened out of the play! This multi-time All-Star lost in traffic!
John Smoltz can't hide the frustration! The baseball glove frustration meets the leather frustration!
Break. CaseOh collapses next to the vending machine. They say CaseOh has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
CaseOh goes 0 for the quarter! A digital transformation consultant having a rough shift with their bare hands!
Kevin Durant, this beanpole, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
This dude out of nowhere CaseOh commits the 5-second violation! Clock management defense that's basically a suggestion!
Kevin Durant storms to the bench! This headliner is visibly upset!
CaseOh packs up and heads out! Packing their bare hands, unpacking emotions!
Wjfnwejfn's eyes are glassy. Kevin Durant mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
90-115 (L)
Kevin Durant, this beanpole, sets the tone immediately! Scary good handles from the jump!
Kevin Durant fires a layup along the baseline but can't connect! Limited stamina showing!
John Smoltz coughs it up! A baseball player's grip doesn't work on the Wilson!
Kevin Durant loses the screen battle! Sometimes predictable game around the picks!
Kevin Durant, this elite player, operates at half court with a bank shot! Clinic!
Back to the locker room. Kevin Durant's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Did you know Kevin Durant keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
Kevin Durant picks up the second technical! This elite player ejected! Limited stamina!
Kevin Durant, this long boy, wastes a golden chance with a wild step-back three!
This total unknown CaseOh recognizes the over-help and punishes it!
This All-Star caliber talent Kevin Durant has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
CaseOh had the chances but couldn't convert. This unknown gem left wanting.
Kevin Durant looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Wjfnwejfn looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
80-123 (L)
CaseOh checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Wjfnwejfn forces a bad free throw! This dark horse needs to trust teammates!
This dude out of nowhere CaseOh with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
CaseOh loses the battle in the paint! Being a digital transformation consultant doesn't help you here!
CaseOh mouths off and picks up a T! Injury-prone body taking over!
Break. John Smoltz collapses next to the vending machine. Did you know John Smoltz knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Cleveland Twin-Towers's colors. By accident, obviously. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
John Smoltz, this smooth operator, draws the foul but can't capitalize! Hot head!
John Smoltz mops their face! Sweating more than when pitching the fastball!
Kevin Durant, this big fella, gets stripped facing the rim! Lack of consistency exposed!
Kevin Durant gets a technical for complaining! Lack of consistency on full display!
This big-name player Kevin Durant stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this big-name player wanted.
Kevin Durant refuses Cleveland Twin-Towers's handshake. John Smoltz offers a limp one with just his fingertips. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
81-126 (L)
The game begins and wjfnwejfn is ready! You can see ridiculous creativity written all over his face!
Kevin Durant dribbles the pill into nothing! Lack of consistency on full display tonight!
John Smoltz forces the pass! Forcing the baseball glove where it doesn't fit!
Kevin Durant, this colossus, gets dunked on from the right corner! Poster material!
CaseOh stares in disbelief! The look of a digital transformation consultant who just lost everything!
Well-deserved break. Kevin Durant looks like someone who just ran a marathon. I've been told Kevin Durant once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
Kevin Durant explodes the Wilson but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
John Smoltz is gassed! More tired than after a full day of pitching the fastball!
Wjfnwejfn charges right into the defender! Turnover! Tendency to rush when controlling pace!
Wjfnwejfn glares at the scoreboard! This hidden prospect not happy with the situation!
Kevin Durant, this mammoth, hangs the head. Tough loss despite silky smooth technique effort.
Wjfnwejfn kicks his towel across the floor. Kevin Durant has already left for the locker room, alone. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. And now, a brand new episode of 'Desperately Seeking My Cat.' Good night, everyone.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
92-115 (L)
CaseOh locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a digital transformation consultant who means business!
Air ball from John Smoltz! Being a baseball player doesn't help with shooting, apparently!
Wjfnwejfn coughs up the Wilson! Sometimes predictable game strikes again in transition!
John Smoltz gets screened out! Stuck behind the baseball glove like it's a wall!
CaseOh finishes the fast break! Sprinting like a digital transformation consultant who's running late!
Halftime. Kevin Durant wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Fun fact: Kevin Durant blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
John Smoltz vents at their teammates! The baseball player who vents about the fastball!
Brick! Kevin Durant misfires at half court! Limited stamina at the worst time!
This jersey-selling name Kevin Durant recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
This max-contract guy Kevin Durant signals to the bench! Needs a blow! Occasional mental lapses!
Kevin Durant sits alone on the bench. This certified bucket processing the defeat.
Kevin Durant replays the score in his head on a loop. CaseOh tries to think about something else. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
88-133 (L)
CaseOh wins the opening tip! Tipping off with digital transformation consultant energy!
Kevin Durant rises up the rock into the front rim! That's frustrating for this elite player!
John Smoltz, this tweener, gets called for the carry! Hot head in ball-handling!
John Smoltz gives up the easy bucket! Easier than pitching the fastball!
John Smoltz, this do-it-all player, sits down hard on the bench! Limited stamina written all over his face!
Into the tunnel. Wjfnwejfn grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Fun fact: wjfnwejfn got rejected at a casting for a deodorant commercial. The irony. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
John Smoltz steps back and fires but misses everything! Hot head tonight!
Kevin Durant is gassed! This All-Star caliber talent bent over at half court! Tendency to force bad shots catching up!
CaseOh botches the handoff! Even their bare hands exchanges go smoother!
This rising star wjfnwejfn can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
John Smoltz fought but fell short! Just out of reach, the baseball player gave everything!
Wjfnwejfn punches his locker when he gets to the locker room. John Smoltz slides down the wall to the floor. I learned that wjfnwejfn's father was a baseball player. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
ahhhhh finishes #15 (2W-13L). Better luck next season! MVP: Kevin Durant.
Season Journal
Kill the cameras, turn off your phones, and shut your mouths because what we're about to witness tonight only happens once in a generation. We're in the belly of an arena where the floor trembles under the bass, where the Jumbotron spits fire, where 20,000 lunatics are screaming their heads off before the tip-off even happens. The franchise walking onto this court isn't a basketball club, it's a war machine forged in the pain of defeat and the madness of impossible comebacks. Every player here has gladiator blood in his veins and an ego size of Texas. Ladies and gentlemen... Ahhhhh!
If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Kevin Durant. Standing at 208 cm, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball.
The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around.
Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. John Smoltz is on this team. John Smoltz, who is a baseball player and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with baseball glove under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world.
The budget is starting to look sexy. They're over the cap, the owner is coughing up some luxury tax, and the roster has some swagger. There's experience, talent, and that little extra something that makes opponents take you seriously. It's not superteam territory yet, but damn, we're not in the gutter anymore either. The GM built a smart roster with guys who complement each other well. The kind of team that can wreak havoc in the playoffs if the stars align.
ahhhhh finishes #15 (2W-13L). Better luck next season! MVP: Kevin Durant.
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