My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 6 | Houston Blast-Off | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 9 | My Team | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to what is probably going to be the most electric night of this season. The arena is packed to the rafters, there are people standing in the corridors, security gave up trying to control anything, and the DJ is blasting so loud the scoreboard is vibrating. We are here to talk about a legendary franchise. A team that has seen sacred monsters pass through, that has lived through dream seasons and nightmare years, that has rebuilt ten times over and always comes back with the same devouring hunger. The team with no name, baby! Okay, let's talk about the boss. Because on this team, there's one alpha, and everybody knows it. Victor Wembanyama. Standing at 224 cm, a body built for basketball, and a basketball IQ that borders on indecent. When this man catches the rock, defenders back up instinctively, it's a survival reflex. And they're right, because this guy can punish you from everywhere: from three, in the post, in transition, from the free throw line with his eyes closed. He's a damn 6'8" Swiss Army knife and he cuts in every direction. His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket. And because this season couldn't possibly be normal, the coach went out and signed Hulk. The man. Is. A scientist. I'm going to let that marinate for two seconds. A scientist. On a professional basketball court. With guys who jump 3 feet off the ground. This dude jumps 6 inches, on a good day, with a running start and the wind at his back. But he's got their lab notebook and apparently, the technical motion of a scientist and a pull-up jumper are "basically the same thing, give or take 90 degrees." That's what the coach said. The team doctor immediately requested a cognitive evaluation for the coach. The budget? It's "here, take my credit card and go nuts." The owner is a damn billionaire who wants a championship ring the way other people want a yacht. Every position is doubled up, every role player is a former All-Star, and the bench is so deep that the twelfth man on this team would start for half the league. It's an armada, a war machine, and everyone in this building knows that if these guys don't win the title, it's a goddamn scandal.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
82-109 (L)
Hulk takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Yao Ming, this giant, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this guy everybody knows!
Goofy, this do-it-all player, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted facing the rim!
Victor Wembanyama turns the head and loses the man! This dude putting the league on notice napping defensively!
Hulk turns the three-point line into a workshop. An off-balance shot crafted with their lab notebook!
The players disappear. Iron Man has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Little secret: Iron Man watches cat videos between quarters. Says it's relaxing. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
Iron Man throws their hands up! Like a superhero when their bare hands breaks!
Goofy, this bonafide star, pulls the trigger driving to the hoop but no luck!
Goofy spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
Iron Man stumbles on the play! Stumbling like a superhero over the game!
Goofy, this do-it-all player, hangs the head. Tough loss despite an unmatched feel for the game effort.
Yao Ming slams his fist on the bench. Goofy places his palm flat, as if to calm the surface. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. And now, a brand new episode of 'Desperately Seeking My Cat.' Good night, everyone.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
109-92 (W)
Hulk announces themselves! The scientist has arrived and the building knows it!
Hulk spins and scores! Pivoting like they pivot with their lab notebook at work!
Iron Man plays the passing angle perfectly! Deflection by this living legend!
Goofy with the hockey assist! That extra pass, beautiful basketball!
Hulk communicates the switch! Clear as a scientist's instructions!
Halftime. Goofy wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Locker room anecdote: Goofy talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
Victor Wembanyama, this walking skyscraper, with a silky and-one from way beyond the arc! Smooth operator!
The energy in this building is unreal! Yao Ming channeling immense pressure!
This certified GOAT candidate Hulk defers to the hot hand! Smart basketball!
This established star Yao Ming refuses to lose! The will of a champion!
That's the game! Hulk finishes with a monster performance! This undisputed superstar victorious!
Iron Man mimes popping a champagne bottle. Yao Ming mimes chugging straight from it. Tonight I nearly had a heart attack at least four times. And I'm just the commentator. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
133-88 (W)
Yao Ming crosses over with energy from the opening whistle! This All-Star caliber talent locked in!
Goofy with freakish explosiveness finds the angle for a double-clutch layup!
Victor Wembanyama, this player making noise, surveys and delivers! Natural-born leadership in the playmaking!
Iron Man with the tough bucket through contact! This potential GOAT won't be denied!
Goofy a defensive stop with authority! This combo guard protecting the paint!
Halftime. Iron Man's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Fun fact: Iron Man was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
Victor Wembanyama with the decisive sky hook! Next-level basketball IQ when it matters most!
Goofy and the starters head to the bench! Job done, game over!
Hulk just tried to use their lab notebook on the basketball! Wrong equipment, right energy!
Goofy, this smooth operator, chest bumps the teammate! A primal scream! Pure joy!
This bonafide star Yao Ming raises the arms! The win is in the books! A raised fist!
Victor Wembanyama and Hulk cradle the game ball like a baby. Iron Man takes a photo. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
110-97 (W)
And we're underway! Goofy touches the pill first! This bonafide star looks eager!
Yao Ming blows past the ball into a tear drop! Natural-born leadership shining through!
Victor Wembanyama, this solid pro, shuts down the play from the left corner! Lockdown defender!
Hulk, this do-it-all player, drops the dime! Insane court vision passing on display!
This guy everybody knows Yao Ming calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
Halftime. The physio pounces on Iron Man to massage his thighs. Anecdote: Iron Man fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Hulk pulls up and drills a pull-up jumper! Can't teach that!
This franchise guy Goofy gets the crowd into it! Wild stands at fever pitch!
Hulk executes the play call! Flawless execution from this scientist!
Iron Man treats every possession like competing the game, with care and precision!
Goofy launches into the tunnel with the W! This jersey-selling name all smiles!
Victor Wembanyama and Iron Man leap onto each other like kids. Yao Ming comes sprinting in and crushes them both. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
133-89 (W)
This player making noise Victor Wembanyama comes out aggressive! Opens with an off-balance shot off the pick and roll!
Victor Wembanyama, this solid pro, threads the needle for a tear drop from way beyond the arc!
Yao Ming with the outlet pass! Coast-to-coast assist! Freakish explosiveness on that one!
A bucket by Goofy on the low block! That dawg mentality in every fiber!
Yao Ming with the chase-down commanding rebound! What athleticism!
The players disappear. Hulk has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Fun fact: Hulk blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
Yao Ming, this walking skyscraper, takes over from way beyond the arc. A sky hook! That's elite!
Hulk piles it on! Stacking points like it's nothing! The scientist is dominant!
Hulk asked the scorekeeper to track the hidden truth too! Data-driven scientist!
Victor Wembanyama silences the away crowd! Ice-cold an ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! Love it!
Yao Ming spins in triumph! The final buzzer sounds! That's a W!
Victor Wembanyama and Iron Man leap onto each other like kids. Goofy comes sprinting in and crushes them both. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
108-104 (W)
Tip-off! Yao Ming gets us started! Let's go!
Goofy times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A brilliant anticipation at half court!
This absolute legend Hulk puts up a step-back three but it won't fall! Off night!
Goofy launches past the defense for a buzzer beater! Size advantage from this this swiss-army-knife type!
Iron Man reads the defense perfectly! Natural-born leadership and a sky-high basketball IQ!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Iron Man asks for an ice pack. I've been told Iron Man once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. We're back! The players look fired up.
Goofy, this solid build, scores the go-ahead! A step-back three! Heart of a champion!
Yao Ming with the suffocating defense! This bonafide star is a wall out there!
Goofy, this all-around player, gets the standing ovation! A roaring arena!
Hulk converts at the line in an incredible energy! Focus of a scientist with their lab notebook!
Iron Man finishes with a monster stat line! Numbers a superhero would be proud of!
Yao Ming and Victor Wembanyama share a 30-second hug. Goofy wants in. Gets pushed away. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
117-81 (W)
Victor Wembanyama opens with a pull-up jumper! This player on the come-up making an early statement!
Iron Man puts it through! The reliability of a superhero with the game!
This certified bucket Yao Ming finds the open man! Assist and a half-court heave!
Victor Wembanyama, this name that's buzzing, drops a bank shot under the basket! Pure artistry!
This up-and-coming baller Victor Wembanyama reads the play and intercepts! Brilliant anticipation!
Halftime! Iron Man has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Small detail: Iron Man wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
Hulk attacks from the left corner and finishes with a pull-up jumper! Too good!
Iron Man, this little firecracker, caps off a dominant performance! Next-level basketball IQ from start to finish!
This world-class player Goofy calls for the damn ball but trips over the baseline! Comedy gold!
Victor Wembanyama, this walking skyscraper, gets the crowd on their feet! A primal scream! Electric!
Iron Man exits to a standing ovation! The superhero with their bare hands earns it!
Goofy dumps his Gatorade on Victor Wembanyama who screams because it was cold. Hulk piles on. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. Thanks for watching this game. And now: 'Deal or No Deal: Office Fridge Edition.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
108-96 (W)
Iron Man sets the tone early! The superhero came to play tonight!
Iron Man knocks down a floater at the top of the key! Ice in the veins!
This world-class player Goofy comes up with a massive steal! Transition time!
Iron Man generates another look! Creative vision worthy of a superhero!
Hulk sets the screen with precision worthy of their lab notebook! Tactical genius!
Halftime. The physio pounces on Hulk to massage his thighs. Anecdote: Hulk once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Iron Man cuts and scores! Sharp as their bare hands, this superhero!
A hostile crowd as Iron Man warms up with some superhero moves!
Goofy sprints back on defense! This established star leading by example!
Iron Man, the superhero from the day shift, is writing their story on the court tonight!
This guy with a proven track record Victor Wembanyama thanks the fans! The crowd is on its feet! What a ride!
Yao Ming and Goofy leap onto each other like kids. Iron Man comes sprinting in and crushes them both. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
109-110 (L)
The game begins and Hulk is ready! You can see freakish explosiveness written all over his face!
Yao Ming, this certified bucket, sinks a euro-step with surgical precision at the top of the key!
Goofy, this smooth operator, gets blown by on the perimeter! Limited stamina in the legs!
Hulk misses! Even a scientist can't fix that shot!
Iron Man with back-to-back scores! The superhero assembly line of their bare hands!
Break. Goofy collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. Locker room intel: Goofy has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Hulk gets stripped during crunch time! That's gonna be a costly turnover!
Hulk picks up the second technical! This potential GOAT ejected! Injury-prone body!
Victor Wembanyama, this dude putting the league on notice, is playing with nothing to lose! Watch out, this dude putting the league on notice is dangerous!
Hulk, this combo guard, gets blocked in the clutch! A clutch steal denies this household name!
Victor Wembanyama steps back past the media. This dude putting the league on notice not in the mood to talk.
Victor Wembanyama hurls his mouthguard into the trash. Hulk keeps his in, chewing on the frustration. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
124-92 (W)
This hooper's hooper Victor Wembanyama in the starting lineup! Let's see what this hooper's hooper brings!
Hulk pulls off a reverse layup out of nowhere! Was that basketball or scientist magic? Unbelievable!
Iron Man drops into help defense! Always there when you need a superhero!
Iron Man picks apart the defense! Dissecting every move with superhero precision!
Hulk counters the press! Problem solved, scientist style!
Break. Hulk collapses next to the vending machine. Did you know Hulk keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Victor Wembanyama, this player on the come-up, with the exclamation-point pull-up jumper! Game changer!
You can feel palpable tension through the screen! Yao Ming in the spotlight!
This world-class player Yao Ming celebrates the teammate's score! It's about the team!
Victor Wembanyama, this well-respected player, has been building to this all game! On the inbound pass!
Iron Man carries the team to victory! Strong as a superhero on a Monday morning!
Yao Ming and Iron Man form a tunnel for Victor Wembanyama to crawl through. Too tall. Gets stuck. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
104-107 (L)
Goofy, this combo guard, sets the tone immediately! That dawg mentality from the jump!
A tear drop from Goofy! That's night-in night-out consistency at the highest level!
Goofy gets burned on the drive! Defense that's basically a suggestion in lateral movement!
Goofy, this bonafide star, comes up empty! A scoop layup off target from way beyond the arc!
Yao Ming hits from downtown! The crowd is back in it! Game on!
Halftime. Yao Ming wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Intel: Yao Ming asked New York Over-Timers for their energy drink recipe. They refused. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
Hulk gets blocked on a strategic timeout! Rejected harder than the hidden truth proposals!
This world-class player Yao Ming shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Victor Wembanyama has found another gear! This established player shifting into overdrive!
This household name Hulk picks up the foul in coming out of the locker room! Terrible timing!
Iron Man tips the cap to the winners! The superhero's grace with the game!
Iron Man mutters 'damn' under his breath. Goofy says 'yeah' in the same tone. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
82-120 (L)
Goofy looks dialed in from the start! Eyes in the back of the head preparation showing!
Hulk misfires driving to the hoop! Even this hall-of-fame lock has off nights!
Yao Ming, this titan, fumbles the entry pass along the baseline!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Iron Man gives up the offensive rebound! Tendency to force bad shots when boxing out!
Iron Man, this all-time great, yells at the coaching staff! Hot head causing friction!
Halftime whistle. Goofy spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Word is Goofy sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. Break's over, the players take their positions.
Iron Man misfires in transition! Their bare hands calibration needed!
Hulk is gassed! More tired than after a full day of discoverring the hidden truth!
This potential GOAT Iron Man gets pickpocketed from the right corner! Sloppy handling!
Yao Ming mouths off and picks up a T! Defense that's basically a suggestion taking over!
Victor Wembanyama reflects on what could have been. Ego the size of Texas the difference tonight.
Victor Wembanyama and Goofy walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
101-120 (L)
Victor Wembanyama, this next-level player, embraces the palpable tension! Game on!
This elite player Goofy misfires again! Injury-prone body could cost the team!
This seasoned vet Victor Wembanyama forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Hulk lunges the wrong direction! Fake had this once-in-a-lifetime player fooled!
Hulk goes coast to coast for an off-balance shot! This once-in-a-lifetime player is relentless!
Well-deserved break. Goofy looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Quick anecdote about Goofy: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
Yao Ming glares at the scoreboard! This multi-time All-Star not happy with the situation!
Goofy, this top-tier talent, sends the leather wide! The touch is off tonight!
This guy everybody knows Goofy adjusts the angle mid-drive! Nerves of steel body control!
Victor Wembanyama rises up but the legs won't cooperate! Shaky emotions under pressure catching up!
Hulk sits alone on the bench. This hall-of-fame lock processing the defeat.
Victor Wembanyama sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Iron Man puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
81-110 (L)
Goofy fires up the crowd to open the game! This franchise guy starting strong!
Hulk with a wild attempt! This potential GOAT not finding the range tonight!
Goofy steps back into a trap! Tendency to rush when reading the defense!
Goofy loses the screen battle! Hot head around the picks!
Victor Wembanyama, this next-level player, refuses to high-five! Shaky emotions under pressure hurting the chemistry!
Halftime! Iron Man has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Anecdote of the day: Iron Man forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. Second half! The crowd is on its feet, and so are the players.
A hook shot from Hulk goes in and out! Heartbreaking at the top of the key!
Hulk bends over during the dead ball! This certified GOAT candidate gathering what's left!
Hulk throws it away! A pass worse than a scientist tossing the hidden truth!
This up-and-coming baller Victor Wembanyama fouls hard out of frustration! Limited stamina showing!
Hulk, this first-ballot legend, takes the loss hard. Occasional mental lapses at the wrong moments.
Hulk bites the inside of his cheek. Iron Man pinches the bridge of his nose. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
84-109 (L)
This certified bucket Goofy gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Yao Ming launches but overcooks it! Tendency to rush showing up again!
This undisputed superstar Hulk dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Victor Wembanyama gives up the back door! Hot head when overplaying!
Victor Wembanyama, this legit talent, knifes through for a tear drop back to the basket! Wow!
Both teams head to the locker room. Hulk wipes his forehead with his jersey. Word is Hulk sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
Goofy takes off the towel! This big-name player showing shaky emotions under pressure!
Yao Ming, this mammoth, can't finish from mid-range! That one stings!
Goofy slows the pace when the team needs it! This max-contract guy tempo control!
Yao Ming is running on pure willpower! This guy everybody knows refusing to quit!
This elite player Goofy shakes hands and moves on. In the end, hot head proved costly.
Iron Man hurls his mouthguard into the trash. Goofy keeps his in, chewing on the frustration. Tonight I had a revelation: Goofy runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
My Team ends the season #9 with a 8W-7L record. Season MVP: Victor Wembanyama.
Season Journal
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to what is probably going to be the most electric night of this season. The arena is packed to the rafters, there are people standing in the corridors, security gave up trying to control anything, and the DJ is blasting so loud the scoreboard is vibrating. We are here to talk about a legendary franchise. A team that has seen sacred monsters pass through, that has lived through dream seasons and nightmare years, that has rebuilt ten times over and always comes back with the same devouring hunger. The team with no name, baby!
Okay, let's talk about the boss. Because on this team, there's one alpha, and everybody knows it. Victor Wembanyama. Standing at 224 cm, a body built for basketball, and a basketball IQ that borders on indecent. When this man catches the rock, defenders back up instinctively, it's a survival reflex. And they're right, because this guy can punish you from everywhere: from three, in the post, in transition, from the free throw line with his eyes closed. He's a damn 6'8" Swiss Army knife and he cuts in every direction.
His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket.
And because this season couldn't possibly be normal, the coach went out and signed Hulk. The man. Is. A scientist. I'm going to let that marinate for two seconds. A scientist. On a professional basketball court. With guys who jump 3 feet off the ground. This dude jumps 6 inches, on a good day, with a running start and the wind at his back. But he's got their lab notebook and apparently, the technical motion of a scientist and a pull-up jumper are "basically the same thing, give or take 90 degrees." That's what the coach said. The team doctor immediately requested a cognitive evaluation for the coach.
The budget? It's "here, take my credit card and go nuts." The owner is a damn billionaire who wants a championship ring the way other people want a yacht. Every position is doubled up, every role player is a former All-Star, and the bench is so deep that the twelfth man on this team would start for half the league. It's an armada, a war machine, and everyone in this building knows that if these guys don't win the title, it's a goddamn scandal.
My Team ends the season #9 with a 8W-7L record. Season MVP: Victor Wembanyama.
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