My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | My Team | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Denver Horse-Track | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 14 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Phoenix No-Defense | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. The team with no name, baby! There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's Miles Morales. Standing at 173 cm, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face. You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance. Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Miles Morales. A superhero in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles bare hands better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Miles Morales has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the game and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning. Let's talk money. We'll keep it short because there ain't any. The budget is so low that the equipment manager also does the accounting, the post-game spread is leftover Domino's on discount, and the last free agent who toured the facility ran for the hills. But damn it, these guys don't care. They play with the fury of men who have everything to prove and nothing to lose. This is the most dangerous team in the league, not because they're good, but because they don't give a single damn about losing.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
89-107 (L)
Iron Man, this pint-sized baller, takes the court! The electric crowd is electric!
Iron Man rattles in and out! The game never teases a superhero like that!
Darth Vader, this absolute unit, gets stripped in the paint! Injury-prone body exposed!
Hulk gets blown by! Even a scientist couldn't stop that!
Iron Man cuts and scores! Sharp as their bare hands, this superhero!
End of the second quarter. Miles Morales is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. I've been told Miles Morales always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Break's over, the players take their positions.
Hulk kicks the air! The frustration of a scientist who knows they can do better!
An alley-oop from Iron Man catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
Iron Man reads the defense like a book! Perfect play call from this superhero!
Superman soldiers on! The soldier who competes the game with their bare hands!
Miles Morales walks off in defeat! Even a superhero's skills couldn't save tonight!
Miles Morales looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Darth Vader looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
133-87 (W)
Darth Vader gets the starting nod! A jedi starting with their bare hands confidence!
Superman dunks past everyone for an off-balance shot! This tweener on a mission!
Hulk racks up the helpers! Dishing like it's their scientist... Because it is!
Hulk knocks down a catch-and-shoot triple off the pick and roll! Ice in the veins!
Miles Morales stays in front! Mirroring every move like a seasoned superhero!
Break! Iron Man takes his jersey off before even reaching the locker room. Did you know? Iron Man launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Hulk racks up a floater! Productive night for this scientist!
This guy with rings on every finger Superman adds another! This is a demolition job!
Darth Vader tipped the ball boy like they tip the game suppliers! Professional courtesy!
Superman, this first-ballot legend, with the primal scream! A salute to the fans! Raw emotion!
Miles Morales caps a perfect night! Clean as a superhero on their best day!
Miles Morales and Iron Man lap the court arm in arm, singing. Off-key. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
128-84 (W)
The den welcomes Iron Man! The superhero with the game has arrived!
Hulk buries a buzzer beater from the right corner! This household name is on fire tonight!
Miles Morales quarter-backs the possession! Assist for a double-clutch layup! What a pass!
The crowd erupts as Hulk nails a finger roll! A scientist on fire at the court!
Hulk with the suffocating defense! This guy with rings on every finger is a wall out there!
Intermission. Miles Morales dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Rumor has it Miles Morales talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
Darth Vader banks it in from mid-range! A jedi's steady hand at work!
Iron Man dominates wire to wire! Dominant as a superhero over the game!
This hall-of-fame lock Iron Man sits on the damn ball during the timeout! Making themselves at home!
Superman gestures with invisible their bare hands! The signature superhero celebration!
This guy with rings on every finger Darth Vader secures the win with eyes in the back of the head! Another one in the bag!
Miles Morales pretends to plant a flag at center court. Superman stands at attention. I learned tonight that Miles Morales used to be a superhero. That explains the unique running style. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
126-88 (W)
Iron Man lands the first pull-up jumper! First blood! The superhero strikes first!
Miles Morales with the crafty sky hook! Silky smooth technique on display!
This player making noise Miles Morales with the behind-the-back dish! Highlight-reel pass!
Darth Vader scoops it up and in! The touch of a jedi with the game!
Iron Man with the textbook defense! Written by a superhero with their bare hands!
Both teams head to the locker room. Darth Vader wipes his forehead with his jersey. Word is Darth Vader sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
This absolute legend Darth Vader does it again! A tear drop with effortless precision!
Darth Vader scores in garbage time! Garbage time? A jedi doesn't waste the game!
Superman shoots the free throw and hits the top of the backboard! Yikes!
Darth Vader does a victory lap! Lapping the court with jedi swagger!
Hulk heads to the locker room with a smile! Good day at the office for the scientist!
Superman points both hands at the sky. Darth Vader points at Superman. Hulk points at the exit. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
122-83 (W)
And we're underway! Iron Man touches the leather first! This franchise cornerstone looks eager!
This all-time great Hulk with a beautiful finger roll from mid-range! Poetry in motion!
Darth Vader picks apart the defense! Dissecting every move with jedi precision!
Superman hits the pull-up jumper! The elevation of a superhero lifting their bare hands!
Hulk forces the turnover! Pressuring like discoverring the hidden truth under deadline!
Both teams head in. Superman has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Little scoop: Superman logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
Miles Morales finishes with style! Years of competing the game built those hands!
Hulk dishes to yet another easy bucket! The floodgates opened!
Iron Man, this compact dynamo, gets tangled in the net! This all-time great stuck!
Hulk blows past to center court! A bench mob celebration! This generational talent owns the moment!
Hulk seals the win! Sealed tight, the scientist gets it done!
Darth Vader gives his headband to a kid in the crowd. Hulk gives his shoes. Miles Morales gives his water bottle. The kid is overwhelmed. I got a text from Darth Vader after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
121-102 (W)
Miles Morales begins their shift on the palace of hoops! A superhero starting the their bare hands shift!
This undisputed superstar Darth Vader with a vintage pull-up jumper! The old magic is still there!
Miles Morales, this little firecracker, walls off the drive at the buzzer! No way through!
This next-level player Miles Morales finds the open man! Assist and a floater!
This franchise cornerstone Iron Man uses the floater over this pocket rocket coverage! Smart!
End of the second quarter. Iron Man is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Fun fact: Iron Man failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
Miles Morales catches and shoots,an and-one! Quick hands from competing the game!
Listen to that roar! Iron Man lets fly and the place explodes!
Superman sets the perfect screen! Built like a superhero who doesn't skip leg day!
The commentators can't stop talking about Darth Vader's jedi background and their bare hands!
Darth Vader leaves everything on the hardwood! Left it all out there tonight!
Superman moonwalks across the hardwood. Hulk attempts the worm. One of them pulls it off. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
108-86 (W)
Darth Vader, this mammoth, announced to huge cheers! A packed arena!
Miles Morales shoots along the baseline with the same confidence they bring to competing the game.
Darth Vader, this beanpole, alters the shot! A killer instinct at the rim!
Miles Morales dishes a beautiful pass! Special delivery from this superhero!
Darth Vader executes a full-court press perfectly! Precision learned as a jedi!
Rest. Darth Vader buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Anecdote: Darth Vader lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Iron Man adds to the total! A superhero who always exceeds expectations!
Immense pressure as Iron Man nails a bucket! The superhero delivers!
Iron Man posts up the outlet to the young player! This franchise cornerstone building the future!
Hulk's transformation from scientist to athlete is this crucial matchup's best story!
This certified GOAT candidate Superman wraps up a sensational performance! Victory is sweet!
Miles Morales runs the full court high-fiving everyone. Hulk follows doing the wave alone. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
108-84 (W)
Iron Man sets the tone early! The superhero came to play tonight!
Darth Vader hits the triple! Three buckets, three cheers for this jedi turned baller!
Miles Morales drops into help defense! Always there when you need a superhero!
This next-level player Miles Morales orchestrates the offense at the buzzer! Maestro!
Hulk outsmarts the opponent! The brains of a scientist with their lab notebook!
Break! Hulk heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. Did you know Hulk once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Superman with the tough off-balance shot through contact! This franchise cornerstone won't be denied!
The venue erupts as Iron Man enters! The superhero gets a hero's welcome!
Hulk communicates on the switch! Clear as a scientist's directions!
This absolute legend Hulk flips the script! From struggle to dominance!
Iron Man wraps up with a double-double! Double duty: their bare hands and the Spalding!
Darth Vader and Miles Morales fake a wrestling match. Iron Man plays the referee and calls a timeout. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
117-84 (W)
Hulk announces themselves! The scientist has arrived and the building knows it!
A free throw from Miles Morales! This guy with a proven track record is putting on a show tonight!
Miles Morales launches and finds the trailer for a fadeaway jumper! Great awareness!
Miles Morales with another off-balance shot! You can't stop this man!
This first-ballot legend Hulk forces the bad pass! Ridiculous creativity creating turnovers!
Time to breathe. Superman has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Anecdote: Superman once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
Iron Man, this short king, showcases natural-born leadership with a gorgeous layup!
This potential GOAT Superman finishes with a statement game! Nerves of steel throughout!
The ref just asked Hulk to put their lab notebook away! Not regulation equipment!
Darth Vader celebrates with a victory dance! Mimicking competing the game on the court!
Superman daps up the opposition! Class act, on and off the court!
Miles Morales and Superman play rock-paper-scissors to decide who carries the ball. Miles Morales loses. Tonight I had a revelation: Superman runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
88-113 (L)
Iron Man, this all-time great, draws first blood! A reverse layup to start!
Iron Man dunks the basketball but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
Hulk with the backcourt violation! This potential GOAT under too much pressure!
Hulk overcommits! Going all-in like a scientist on the hidden truth, but wrong!
Hulk with a finger-roll tear drop! Dexterity you only get from years as a scientist!
Rest. Hulk buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Bus driver's confession: Hulk raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
Superman shakes their head! A superhero who can't believe that just happened!
Miles Morales launches a reverse layup and... Airball! Hot head at its peak!
Darth Vader creates the switch! Smooth adjustment, jedi-level thinking!
This franchise cornerstone Iron Man can't close out! The legs are shot off the pick and roll!
Darth Vader sits on the bench post-game! Sitting like a jedi after their bare hands broke!
Miles Morales slams his fist on the bench. Superman places his palm flat, as if to calm the surface. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Superman. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
108-89 (W)
Hulk starts in the facilitator! Playing the facilitator way a scientist plays with their lab notebook!
Darth Vader muscles through for a double-clutch layup! The strength of a jedi moving the game!
Darth Vader gets a hand on it! The hand that wields their bare hands strikes again!
Hulk with the wraparound pass! Smooth hands from all that scientist work!
Hulk, this franchise cornerstone, manipulates the defense with the eyes! A gym-rat work ethic!
That's a wrap for now. Iron Man dives into the tunnel. Did you know Iron Man entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Iron Man scores the go-ahead! A superhero who always finishes the job on time!
The arena chants for Miles Morales during every stoppage! Superhero pride echoes!
This generational talent Hulk unites the locker room! A gym-rat work ethic captain's mentality!
Superman plays like they have something to prove to every superhero watching!
Iron Man salutes the fans! A superhero's farewell until the next game!
Iron Man pretends to faint from happiness. Hulk pretends to call 911. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
110-97 (W)
Iron Man fires up the crowd to open the game! This franchise cornerstone starting strong!
Miles Morales, this lightning-quick little man, takes over at half court. A tear drop! That's elite!
Iron Man with the full-court pressure! This first-ballot legend making them uncomfortable!
Darth Vader shovels the pass! Moving the Spalding with their bare hands efficiency!
Hulk zones up! Defensive zone like a scientist's the hidden truth zone!
Back to the locker room. Hulk's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Anecdote: Hulk fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Hulk steps back the leather into a reverse layup! Next-level basketball IQ shining through!
Post-game fireworks for Darth Vader! Brighter than their bare hands on a perfect day!
Iron Man sacrifices for the team! Selfless play from this superhero!
Iron Man explodes with conviction! This living legend believes tonight is the night!
Miles Morales gets the post-game interview! 'It's like competing the game,' they say!
Miles Morales moonwalks across the hardwood. Superman attempts the worm. One of them pulls it off. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
90-107 (L)
Iron Man takes the court to a Finals-like atmosphere! The superhero with their bare hands is here!
Hulk misses on the decisive possession! A scientist dropping the hidden truth at the worst time!
Miles Morales throws it away! A pass worse than a superhero tossing the game!
This league veteran Miles Morales fouls reaching in! Injury-prone body on defense!
Miles Morales with the highlight-reel buzzer beater! This hooper's hooper owning the moment!
Halftime. Miles Morales's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Did you know Miles Morales knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Boston Ring-Chasers's colors. By accident, obviously. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Hulk sits on the bench for a moment! Resting like a scientist after a long shift!
Miles Morales, this league veteran, pulls the trigger at the top of the key but no luck!
This hall-of-fame lock Darth Vader adjusts at halftime and comes out sharp! Adaptation!
Hulk bends over, hands on knees! Exhausted like a scientist after their lab notebook overtime!
Darth Vader looks at the scoreboard one last time! Numbers don't lie for a jedi!
Hulk pulls his cap down over his eyes. Superman doesn't have a cap, and it shows. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
92-129 (L)
Superman checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Superman, this swiss-army-knife type, bobbles the ball and the chance evaporates under the basket!
Iron Man loses the leather in traffic! This guy with rings on every finger can't afford that!
Iron Man loses the screen battle! Heavy feet around the picks!
Miles Morales drops their shoulders! Deflated, even a superhero's spirit has limits!
Halftime! Hulk looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Anecdote: Hulk threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
Brick! Superman misfires from way beyond the arc! Heavy feet at the worst time!
Hulk is running on fumes! The scientist tank is completely empty!
Iron Man takes off into a dead end at the top of the key! Turnover! Tendency to rush!
Superman slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a superhero hits the workbench!
Iron Man walks the tunnel in silence! Done for the night, back to superhero life tomorrow!
Hulk bites his lip, fists clenched. Superman shakes his head slowly, in disbelief. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
92-110 (L)
Miles Morales steps onto the venue! From competing the game to this, game time!
Iron Man misses! Even a superhero can't fix that shot!
Darth Vader with the errant pass! This potential GOAT needs to settle down!
Superman, this swiss-army-knife type, can't keep up with the speed! Ego the size of Texas exposed!
Iron Man converts a tough free throw from the right corner! Skill level: elite!
Break. Hulk's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Quick anecdote about Hulk: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Iron Man mouths off at the last second! A superhero venting about the game!
Miles Morales misses the triple! Three-pointers aren't like triple-checking the game!
Hulk uses that scientist IQ on the court! Tactical brilliance!
Miles Morales, this short king, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
Darth Vader refuses to make excuses! A jedi owns the game failures too!
Iron Man's lip is trembling. Darth Vader dodges the cameras by pulling up his hood. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
My Team ends the season #5 with a 10W-5L record. Season MVP: Miles Morales.
Season Journal
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. The team with no name, baby!
There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's Miles Morales. Standing at 173 cm, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face.
You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance.
Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Miles Morales. A superhero in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles bare hands better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Miles Morales has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the game and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning.
Let's talk money. We'll keep it short because there ain't any. The budget is so low that the equipment manager also does the accounting, the post-game spread is leftover Domino's on discount, and the last free agent who toured the facility ran for the hills. But damn it, these guys don't care. They play with the fury of men who have everything to prove and nothing to lose. This is the most dangerous team in the league, not because they're good, but because they don't give a single damn about losing.
My Team ends the season #5 with a 10W-5L record. Season MVP: Miles Morales.
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