My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Houston Blast-Off | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | My Team | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Phoenix No-Defense | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to what is probably going to be the most electric night of this season. The arena is packed to the rafters, there are people standing in the corridors, security gave up trying to control anything, and the DJ is blasting so loud the scoreboard is vibrating. We are here to talk about a legendary franchise. A team that has seen sacred monsters pass through, that has lived through dream seasons and nightmare years, that has rebuilt ten times over and always comes back with the same devouring hunger. The team with no name, baby! If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Miles Morales. Standing at 173 cm, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball. I asked a former player what it felt like to guard him. He looked at me with hollow eyes and said: "It's like trying to catch smoke." Smoke, my friends. You think you've got him, you close your hands, and there's nothing there. He's already on the other side of the court drilling a three in your face with a little smirk. The kind of player who makes you want to quit basketball and open a bakery, because at least bread doesn't disappear when you try to touch it. Hold on tight because the next name is going to make you spit out your beer: Miles Morales. Profession? Superhero. Yeah. The coach saw him on TV, called his agent (who didn't exist), and offered him a ten-day contract "to see." The guy showed up with bare hands, a ham sandwich, and bulletproof enthusiasm. At his first practice, he attempted a dunk and ended up hanging from the net like a cat stuck in a tree. The fire department came. Twice. But he's got heart, the man, and apparently the precision he puts into the game could translate to mid-range shooting. We believe. Well, the coach believes. The rest of us broke out the popcorn. The budget? What budget? We're so far below the salary floor you could limbo under it blindfolded. The team accountant is the owner's cousin running Excel 2003 with no updates since the Bush administration. The jerseys are hand-washed by the intern, road trips are carpooled, and the last free agent who visited the facilities turned around the second he saw the locker room. But you know what? Character is forged in the struggle. And this team's got character coming out of its damn ears.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
83-124 (L)
Patrick Mahomes, this combo guard, takes the court! The electric crowd is electric!
Burj Al Alam rushes a buzzer-beater on the low block! Injury-prone body creeping in!
Miles Morales with the backcourt violation! A superhero going backwards with the game!
Burj Al Alam, this do-it-all player, fouls unnecessarily on the low block! Injury-prone body!
Miles Morales mutters to himself walking back! This respected competitor fighting inner demons!
Break. Iron Man collapses next to the vending machine. Fun fact: Iron Man was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Hulk can't finish! The scientist who finishes the hidden truth can't finish the play!
Patrick Mahomes, this swiss-army-knife type, laboring up and down! Defense that's basically a suggestion draining the energy!
This legit talent Miles Morales forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Patrick Mahomes storms to the bench! This hooper's hooper is visibly upset!
Hulk takes the loss hard! Hard as the hidden truth on a bad scientist day!
Hulk pushes away the reporter's microphone with a gesture. Patrick Mahomes takes the interview and says 'not tonight'. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
101-91 (W)
This dude putting the league on notice Burj Al Alam means business! Fast start at the buzzer!
Burj Al Alam, this solid pro, knifes through for a free throw back to the basket! Wow!
Iron Man with a defensive stop! The reflexes of a superhero catching the game!
This guy with rings on every finger Iron Man connects on the pick-and-roll! Assist for an off-balance shot!
Iron Man calls the audible! Adapting on the fly, that's superhero mentality!
Heading in. Burj Al Alam's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. Anecdote: Burj Al Alam lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
Iron Man converts the and-one! Tough as competing the game all day!
Hulk throws the arm sleeve to the crowd! Better than throwing the hidden truth!
Iron Man, this small but mighty player, sets the perfect screen! Insane court vision for the team!
Iron Man's teammates feed off the superhero energy! That confidence is contagious!
This solid pro Patrick Mahomes seals the deal! Victory with scary good handles!
Hulk and Iron Man carry Patrick Mahomes like a trophy across the entire court. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
93-122 (L)
This next-level player Burj Al Alam in the starting lineup! Let's see what this next-level player brings!
Burj Al Alam, this do-it-all player, can't get a fadeaway jumper to drop! Cold as ice tonight!
Miles Morales rises up the ball right to the defense! Costly mistake by this player making noise!
Burj Al Alam gets posted up and scored on! This hooper's hooper overpowered!
Miles Morales, this pocket rocket, showcases freakish explosiveness with a gorgeous alley-oop!
Into the tunnel. Miles Morales grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Juicy intel: Miles Morales turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
This global icon Hulk shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Iron Man misfires from the left corner! Even this basketball god has off nights!
Patrick Mahomes penetrates with purpose every possession! This dude putting the league on notice chess master!
This dude putting the league on notice Miles Morales signals to the bench! Needs a blow! Tendency to rush!
Patrick Mahomes attacks to the tunnel in disappointment. This up-and-coming baller will learn from this.
Patrick Mahomes isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Miles Morales tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
92-126 (L)
And we're underway! Burj Al Alam touches the orange first! This player making noise looks eager!
That one wasn't even close, Iron Man! Stick to competing the game!
Burj Al Alam, this solid build, gets called for the carry! Shaky emotions under pressure in ball-handling!
Patrick Mahomes, this tweener, can't keep up with the speed! Occasional mental lapses exposed!
Burj Al Alam mouths off and picks up a T! Lack of consistency taking over!
Halftime whistle. Iron Man spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. They say Iron Man eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
Burj Al Alam, this solid build, gets the look under the basket but the lid's on the rim!
Patrick Mahomes, this player making noise, making mistakes from exhaustion! The body is failing!
Miles Morales, this little guy, steps out of bounds with the orange! Mental lapse!
Burj Al Alam, this all-around player, sits down hard on the bench! Shaky emotions under pressure written all over his face!
Miles Morales had the chances but couldn't convert. This respected competitor left wanting.
Burj Al Alam is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. Patrick Mahomes waits at the tunnel entrance. Evening confession: I'm wearing Burj Al Alam's jersey under my shirt. For morale. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
91-112 (L)
Hulk steps onto the gymnasium! From discoverring the hidden truth to this, game time!
This up-and-coming baller Burj Al Alam misfires again! Hot head could cost the team!
Sloppy handling by Iron Man! Competing the game is done with more finesse!
This name that's buzzing Patrick Mahomes gives up the offensive rebound! Tendency to force bad shots when boxing out!
Patrick Mahomes, this versatile guy, overpowers for a finger roll! Size matters!
End of the second quarter. Patrick Mahomes is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Confession: Patrick Mahomes calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Miles Morales, this undersized spark plug, pounds the scorer's table! Occasional mental lapses on full display!
Hulk fires and misses driving to the hoop. Should have stuck with the hidden truth!
Hulk executes a pick-and-pop attack perfectly! Precision learned as a scientist!
Iron Man is gassed! More tired than after a full day of competing the game!
Burj Al Alam, this legit talent, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Patrick Mahomes lets out a nervous laugh that sends chills down your spine. Burj Al Alam decides not to comment. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
98-93 (W)
Patrick Mahomes, this established player, embraces the crowd fully behind them! Game on!
A fadeaway jumper by Iron Man off the pick and roll! Next-level basketball IQ in every fiber!
This player making noise Patrick Mahomes reads the play and intercepts! Brilliant anticipation!
Iron Man dunks the damn ball through traffic! What a pass by this once-in-a-lifetime player!
Miles Morales finds the angle! The angle superhero uses for the game!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Iron Man asks for an ice pack. Fun fact: Iron Man failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
This dude putting the league on notice Burj Al Alam with a vintage pull-up jumper! The old magic is still there!
Confetti falls as Miles Morales exits! A superhero's grand finale on the hardwood!
Hulk barks out defensive calls! The voice of their lab notebook echoes across the arena!
Burj Al Alam, this player making noise, has the crowd in the palm of the hand! A Playoff atmosphere!
This established player Burj Al Alam is all smiles! The stats back up the brilliance!
Miles Morales runs the full court high-fiving everyone. Patrick Mahomes follows doing the wave alone. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. Thanks for watching. Coming up: '48 Hours: The Secret Life of Roundabouts.' Essential viewing.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
98-105 (L)
Patrick Mahomes fires away with energy from the opening whistle! This established player locked in!
Burj Al Alam drives the damn ball right into the defender's hands! Ego the size of Texas!
Iron Man commits the live-ball turnover! Their bare hands would be ashamed!
Burj Al Alam, this smooth operator, gets exploited in the switch! Limited stamina exposed in the mismatch!
A reverse layup from Burj Al Alam! Another dagger! This league veteran closing the door!
Finally a breather. Patrick Mahomes has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Did you know Patrick Mahomes plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
Hulk storms to the bench! Heated! This scientist doesn't handle losing well!
Iron Man with the ugly miss! The superhero touch is absent tonight!
Patrick Mahomes, this well-respected player, orchestrates the delay game! Nerves of steel in action!
Miles Morales plays through exhaustion! The endurance of competing the game daily!
Miles Morales walks off in defeat! Even a superhero's skills couldn't save tonight!
Iron Man hurls his water bottle at the wall. Miles Morales flinches but doesn't react. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
102-104 (L)
Game time! Patrick Mahomes and this name that's buzzing ready to put on a show at the palace of hoops!
Burj Al Alam strings together a free throw from mid-range. A killer instinct on full display!
Miles Morales reacts too late to rotate! Sometimes predictable game on the help side!
Miles Morales, this seasoned vet, comes up empty! A bucket off target from the left corner!
Iron Man hits from way beyond the arc! The crowd is back in it! Game on!
Back in the locker room, Miles Morales sits down and stares at the ceiling. Anecdote: Miles Morales fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Patrick Mahomes, this solid build, chokes on the big stage! At the jump ball miss!
Hulk slams the ball in frustration! Limited stamina on full display!
The stadium knows it! Burj Al Alam is special! This guy with a proven track record writing legacy!
Miles Morales can't convert in the final quarter! This player on the come-up shrinks in the moment!
Iron Man hangs their head! A superhero who gave everything they had!
Patrick Mahomes hurls his mouthguard into the trash. Miles Morales keeps his in, chewing on the frustration. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
95-115 (L)
Miles Morales, this lightning-quick little man, sets the tone immediately! Iron discipline from the jump!
This global icon Iron Man whiffs on a sky hook! The crowd groans!
Patrick Mahomes coughs up the ball! Tendency to rush strikes again back to the basket!
Iron Man loses their assignment! Like losing their bare hands in the workshop!
Patrick Mahomes steps back the Spalding beautifully for a free throw! What touch!
The players disappear. Patrick Mahomes has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Staff confession: Patrick Mahomes is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
Hulk tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the scientist will bounce back!
Miles Morales can't convert! The superhero's touch with the game deserted them!
Iron Man sets the screen with precision worthy of their bare hands! Tactical genius!
Iron Man can't get lift! Legs heavy as their bare hands after the contest!
Iron Man sits on the bench post-game! Sitting like a superhero after their bare hands broke!
Iron Man pushes away the reporter's microphone with a gesture. Hulk takes the interview and says 'not tonight'. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
116-102 (W)
Burj Al Alam, this versatile guy, is introduced and the arena explodes! This up-and-coming baller is in the building!
Miles Morales with a fadeaway jumper off the pick! Using screens better than most pros!
Miles Morales reads the play perfectly! That superhero brain working overtime!
Hulk, this combo guard, with the pocket pass! Silky smooth technique in tight spaces!
This generational talent Hulk uses the floater over this combo guard coverage! Smart!
Back to the locker room. Burj Al Alam's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Quick anecdote about Burj Al Alam: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
Miles Morales dishes with the precision of a superhero at work. And it's a finger roll!
Patrick Mahomes, this combo guard, gets the standing ovation! A hostile crowd!
This up-and-coming baller Burj Al Alam swings the orange around! Freakish explosiveness ball movement!
The arc of this game bends toward Hulk! This potential GOAT controlling destiny!
Miles Morales dominates the box score! Numbers worthy of a superhero's the game chart!
Patrick Mahomes and Burj Al Alam cradle the game ball like a baby. Iron Man takes a photo. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
102-101 (W)
Patrick Mahomes fires up the crowd to open the game! This up-and-coming baller starting strong!
This league veteran Patrick Mahomes with the weak-side ball recovery! Incredible help!
Hulk fades away but the shot rims out! Ego the size of Texas rears its ugly head!
A deep three from Patrick Mahomes! That's silky smooth technique at the highest level!
Hulk adjusts the tempo! Controlling the rhythm like a veteran scientist!
That's a wrap for now. Miles Morales dives into the tunnel. They say Miles Morales eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Burj Al Alam, this smooth operator, hits the big shot! On a clutch free throw! That's a closer!
Miles Morales covers acres of the hardwood! The endurance of a superhero on a double shift!
The PA announcer can't pronounce Iron Man's their bare hands! Comedy at the floor!
Miles Morales hits the big shot! Precision worthy of their bare hands when it matters most!
Hulk finishes with a monster stat line! Numbers a scientist would be proud of!
Hulk jumps into Patrick Mahomes's arms without warning. They both go down. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
108-113 (L)
Patrick Mahomes crosses over onto the floor! The crowd roars for this solid pro!
Hulk drops a bucket! The accuracy of a scientist on full display!
Miles Morales gets crossed over! This solid pro left frozen driving to the hoop!
Iron Man misfires again! Having the game-shaped night!
Miles Morales, this undersized spark plug, with the crucial brilliant anticipation! Comeback building!
Halftime! Miles Morales checks his stats on the board and winces. Did you know? Miles Morales has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
Miles Morales misses the game-tying shot! Even a superhero couldn't save that one!
Hulk slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a scientist hits the workbench!
Iron Man, this all-time great, has been building to this all game! After a timeout!
Iron Man dunks but can't score in crunch time! Opportunity lost!
Patrick Mahomes, this all-around player, trudges off the field house. Lessons to take from this one.
Patrick Mahomes's face is locked shut, zero emotion. Miles Morales hides his eyes under a towel. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
90-113 (L)
This absolute legend Iron Man catches the damn ball early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Burj Al Alam, this seasoned vet, pulls the trigger at the buzzer but no luck!
This solid pro Burj Al Alam commits the offensive foul! Turnover from the right corner!
This respected competitor Burj Al Alam misjudges the passing lane! Easy assist through!
Miles Morales pulls up and scores! Those superhero hands work wonders with the basketball!
Halftime! Patrick Mahomes is limping slightly heading off the court. Small detail: Patrick Mahomes wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Iron Man walks away muttering! Muttering about the game under their breath!
This name that's buzzing Burj Al Alam shanks a step-back three from way beyond the arc! That's uncharacteristic!
Miles Morales, this elusive guard, seals the defender for position! Fundamentals!
This respected competitor Patrick Mahomes can't close out! The legs are shot on the low block!
Patrick Mahomes reflects on what could have been. Occasional mental lapses the difference tonight.
Burj Al Alam's face is locked shut, zero emotion. Hulk hides his eyes under a towel. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
79-124 (L)
Burj Al Alam, this legit talent, draws first blood! A finger roll to start!
Hulk misses the free throw! Discoverring the hidden truth under pressure is easier!
This guy with a proven track record Miles Morales commits the 5-second violation! Clock management tendency to force bad shots!
Hulk gets crossed over! Ankles broken like the hidden truth on a rough day!
Hulk argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to discoverring the hidden truth!
Rest. Patrick Mahomes buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Quick anecdote about Patrick Mahomes: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
Miles Morales heaves and misses! Should have heaved the game instead!
Iron Man, this compact dynamo, is drenched in sweat! Emptying the tank!
Iron Man turns it over on the inbound pass! A superhero dropping their bare hands at the worst time!
Iron Man, this basketball god, with the frustrated foul! Sometimes predictable game in tough moments!
Despite the loss, Iron Man held their own with the game! The superhero fought!
Iron Man's eyes are red, jaw tight. Miles Morales apologizes to the coach, voice cracking. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
82-116 (L)
This generational talent Iron Man gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Iron Man, this little guy, loses the handle and the opportunity! Lack of consistency!
Turnover by Hulk! Discoverring the hidden truth requires less coordination, clearly!
Miles Morales loses the screen battle! Tendency to rush around the picks!
Hulk kicks the air! The frustration of a scientist who knows they can do better!
The players head to the locker room. Hulk is sweating like a racehorse. Anecdote: Hulk tried to impress the Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Burj Al Alam, this all-around player, gets the look but can't convert from the right corner!
Miles Morales waves for a timeout! The superhero needs the game break!
This player making noise Patrick Mahomes gets pickpocketed from way beyond the arc! Sloppy handling!
This guy with a proven track record Patrick Mahomes fouls hard out of frustration! Tendency to force bad shots showing!
Iron Man packs up and heads out! Packing their bare hands, unpacking emotions!
Burj Al Alam scratches the back of his neck nervously. Patrick Mahomes has the look of someone who has seen things. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Burj Al Alam's name. Forgive me. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
My Team finishes #13 (4W-11L). Better luck next season! MVP: Miles Morales.
Season Journal
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to what is probably going to be the most electric night of this season. The arena is packed to the rafters, there are people standing in the corridors, security gave up trying to control anything, and the DJ is blasting so loud the scoreboard is vibrating. We are here to talk about a legendary franchise. A team that has seen sacred monsters pass through, that has lived through dream seasons and nightmare years, that has rebuilt ten times over and always comes back with the same devouring hunger. The team with no name, baby!
If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Miles Morales. Standing at 173 cm, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball.
I asked a former player what it felt like to guard him. He looked at me with hollow eyes and said: "It's like trying to catch smoke." Smoke, my friends. You think you've got him, you close your hands, and there's nothing there. He's already on the other side of the court drilling a three in your face with a little smirk. The kind of player who makes you want to quit basketball and open a bakery, because at least bread doesn't disappear when you try to touch it.
Hold on tight because the next name is going to make you spit out your beer: Miles Morales. Profession? Superhero. Yeah. The coach saw him on TV, called his agent (who didn't exist), and offered him a ten-day contract "to see." The guy showed up with bare hands, a ham sandwich, and bulletproof enthusiasm. At his first practice, he attempted a dunk and ended up hanging from the net like a cat stuck in a tree. The fire department came. Twice. But he's got heart, the man, and apparently the precision he puts into the game could translate to mid-range shooting. We believe. Well, the coach believes. The rest of us broke out the popcorn.
The budget? What budget? We're so far below the salary floor you could limbo under it blindfolded. The team accountant is the owner's cousin running Excel 2003 with no updates since the Bush administration. The jerseys are hand-washed by the intern, road trips are carpooled, and the last free agent who visited the facilities turned around the second he saw the locker room. But you know what? Character is forged in the struggle. And this team's got character coming out of its damn ears.
My Team finishes #13 (4W-11L). Better luck next season! MVP: Miles Morales.
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