☠️
72
Days survived
67
Zombies killed
0/7
Survivors
69
🗺️ Km traveled
21
👑 Decisions
15
🩺 Rescues
94
🍳 Meals cooked
10
🪤 Traps built
84
🎯 Zombies lured
Survival Journal
28 events
1
📖
Day 1: Nobody knows exactly when it started. Donald Trump was woken by screams. Juni Calafat by silence, which is worse. Donald Trump Jr. didn't sleep at all. Jesus Christ was stitching a wound when the first window shattered. Joël Robuchon was cooking pasta when the neighbor tried to eat them. Elon Musk was dismantling a radio when the antenna picked up the last official message: "Stay home." Osama bin Laden heard nothing, they were already running. They found each other at the main street intersection. Since then, they haven't left each other's side.
1
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🌍
Day 1: A giant zombie, probably a former wrestler, blocks the camp's only exit. Jesus Christ must face it.
-23
1
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⚡
Donald Trump negotiates an exclusive contract with zombies to monopolize the brain market
+3
1
📌
📍 Yellow cab graveyard in Midtown. Donald Trump hotwires one. "Meter's still running. Classic."
0
3
🎂
Osama bin Laden is 54 years old and starting to tire, but their wisdom is precious.
0
7
🎒
Donald Trump cracks their whip and tears off a zombie's jaw from a distance.
+6
8
💀
Poetic Death: Juni Calafat stays at the observation post to relay horde movements until the end. The final report is scribbled in pencil. Illegible but complete.
8
💀
Juni Calafat
has died
9
🎒
Joël Robuchon bites into a fresh apple found in an abandoned orchard. The vitamins feel good.
+4
10
⚡
Jesus Christ preaches love thy neighbor. Zombies understand 'eat thy neighbor'
+3
11
🌍
Day 11: Joël Robuchon discovers the recovered canned goods expired in 2019. Culinary dilemma.
+4
12
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🎂
Elon Musk is 55 years old and starting to tire, but their wisdom is precious.
0
14
_(cropped).jpg?width=300)
💀
Poetic death - Donald Trump Jr. dies live on air, still smiling at the camera until the very end
14
💀
Donald Trump Jr.
has died
18
🌍
Day 18: Jesus Christ confuses the gas canister with the water canister. The barbecue is original, the thirst remains.
-7
20
⚡
Elon Musk builds a mechanical trap system that protects the camp perimeter without wasting ammo. MacGyver would be proud.
+5
25
💀
Osama bin Laden makes noise to attract ALL the zombies
25
💀
Osama bin Laden
has died
30
⚡
Donald Trump organizes an IPO for their startup 'ZombieUber' - home brain delivery service
+3
33
🌍
Day 33: Elon Musk spots an abandoned but still productive vegetable garden. Tomatoes! Real tomatoes!
+9
37
💀
Jesus Christ waits 3 days to resurrect. Zombies don't have that patience
37
💀
Jesus Christ
has died
39
🌍
Day 39: Joël Robuchon finds a military walkie-talkie still functional. Communication changes everything.
+7
41
⚡
Joël Robuchon turned MREs into Michelin-worthy meals that made everyone forget the world ended — the camp's eating like it's pre-zombie times.
+5
46
📌
📍 Broadway theaters dark. Phantom masks litter the street. Elon Musk: "The show won't go on."
0
52
💀
Donald Trump calculates the ROI of their survival and decides dying costs less than living
52
💀
Donald Trump
has died
54
🌍
Day 54: Joël Robuchon recovers a bulletproof vest from a zombie cop. He didn't need it anymore, obviously.
+8
55
⚡
Joël Robuchon refused to serve a dish that wasn't 'up to standard.' The camp went hungry that night. Pride goeth before the fall... and dinner.
+5
64
💀
Elon Musk dies crushed under their own invention. The prototype worked—it was the support structure that didn't get the memo.
64
💀
Elon Musk
has died
66
⚡
Joël Robuchon screams in the kitchen: 'WHERE'S THE LAMB SAUCE?!' In the apocalypse, lamb sauce has been extinct for 2 years.
+5
67
🌍
Day 67: Joël Robuchon finds an intact library. No WiFi, but at least there's reading material.
+3
70
🌍
Day 70: A cyclone approaches. The camp has 6 hours to prepare. Joël Robuchon takes command of the evacuation.
-22
72
💀
Joël Robuchon was flambéing dessert when the flames attracted the horde. Final service, kitchen's closed permanently.
72
💀
Joël Robuchon
has died
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