My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 7 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | New York Over-Timers | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | My Team | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 16 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. The team with no name, baby! There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's Nightcrawler. The man is massive, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face. His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket. And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Bullseye. The man is a mercenary. A freaking mercenary. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with their blade and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered. The budget? What budget? We're so far below the salary floor you could limbo under it blindfolded. The team accountant is the owner's cousin running Excel 2003 with no updates since the Bush administration. The jerseys are hand-washed by the intern, road trips are carpooled, and the last free agent who visited the facilities turned around the second he saw the locker room. But you know what? Character is forged in the struggle. And this team's got character coming out of its damn ears.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
85-130 (L)
Juggernaut takes the court to a Playoff atmosphere! The superhero with their bare hands is here!
Nightcrawler fires and misses driving to the hoop. Should have stuck with the game!
Nightcrawler charges right into the defender! Turnover! Injury-prone body when controlling pace!
Galactus, this solid build, can't keep up with the speed! Occasional mental lapses exposed!
Nightcrawler drops their shoulders! Deflated, even a superhero's spirit has limits!
The locker room. Galactus sprawls out full-length on the bench. Rumor has it Galactus tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
Yamcha misses the triple! Three-pointers aren't like triple-checking the VIP client!
Nightcrawler takes the rest play! Even a superhero needs a breather!
Yamcha with the backcourt violation! A bodyguard going backwards with the VIP client!
Galactus, this all-around player, sits down hard on the bench! Shaky emotions under pressure written all over his face!
Juggernaut had the chances but couldn't convert. This player making noise left wanting.
Nightcrawler refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. Yamcha watches it and immediately regrets it. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
124-94 (W)
This respected competitor Bullseye means business! Fast start under the basket!
A half-court heave from Bullseye at half court! That's a statement right there!
Nightcrawler blocks from behind! Came outta nowhere like a superhero on a mission!
Bullseye, this smooth operator, finds the trailer! A floater off the assist, easy money!
Bullseye, this combo guard, exploits the mismatch along the baseline! Smart play!
Halftime. Nightcrawler glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Did you know Nightcrawler once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
This league veteran Nightcrawler with a beautiful reverse layup at the top of the key! Poetry in motion!
The arena buzzes for Nightcrawler! A superhero who electrifies wherever they go!
Bullseye cheers the loudest! Happy as a mercenary clocking out on a Friday!
Every time Nightcrawler touches the pill, you see the discipline of their bare hands!
Juggernaut has the last say! Final word from a superhero about the game!
Yamcha gives his headband to a kid in the crowd. Bullseye gives his shoes. Nightcrawler gives his water bottle. The kid is overwhelmed. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
103-92 (W)
Bullseye wins the opening tip! Tipping off with mercenary energy!
Juggernaut with the step-back reverse layup! Creating space like a superhero with their bare hands!
Galactus, this versatile guy, covers ground to get the drawn charge! Wow!
Yamcha threads the needle! Precision of their dark glasses through the VIP client!
Bullseye finds the angle! The angle mercenary uses for the highest bidder!
End of the first act. Juggernaut is puffing like a steam engine heading back. I've been told Juggernaut once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Galactus, this unknown gem, unleashes a floater at half court! Bang!
The jumbotron shows Nightcrawler's superhero highlight reel! What a career!
Galactus takes the blame for the mistake! This player nobody saw coming protecting teammates!
The transformation of Yamcha is complete! This legit talent has arrived!
This player on the come-up Bullseye walks off to a standing ovation! A standing ovation! Incredible!
Galactus launches his shoe into the air. Juggernaut catches it. Standing ovation. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. And now, a brand new episode of 'Desperately Seeking My Cat.' Good night, everyone.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
110-104 (W)
Nightcrawler begins their shift on the den! A superhero starting the their bare hands shift!
This dude out of nowhere Galactus with a picture-perfect thunderous slam! The crowd goes wild!
Juggernaut times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A monster swat at the top of the key!
Galactus threads the needle! Beautiful assist under the basket! Unreal court vision!
Juggernaut triggers the fast break! Launching the offense with superhero urgency!
Rest time. Yamcha isolates in a corner of the locker room, headphones on. Confession: Yamcha believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
Galactus, this versatile guy, uses strength and skill for a floater! Complete player!
The road crowd tries to rally but Nightcrawler silences them! Immense pressure!
This up-and-coming baller Juggernaut celebrates the teammate's score! It's about the team!
Every superhero in the crowd sees themselves in Nightcrawler's battle with the pill!
That's the game! Nightcrawler finishes with a monster performance! This up-and-coming baller victorious!
Juggernaut and Galactus cradle the game ball like a baby. Nightcrawler takes a photo. Tonight I learned Juggernaut used to be a bodyguard before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
105-93 (W)
Yamcha announces themselves! The bodyguard has arrived and the building knows it!
Nightcrawler with an incredible pull-up jumper on the low block! Standing ovation!
Juggernaut defends the post! Sturdy as a superhero braced for impact!
Yamcha, this tweener, delivers the entry pass! Beautiful feed into the post!
Bullseye outsmarts the opponent! The brains of a mercenary with their blade!
Halftime whistle. Nightcrawler high-fives his teammates on the way out. Fun fact: Nightcrawler blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Bullseye scores off the inbound! That's the preparation of a mercenary right there!
Palpable tension as Bullseye, this tweener, is introduced! Goosebumps!
Bullseye plugs the gap! Plugging holes with mercenary efficiency!
What a journey for Galactus! From the bench to the spotlight! You love to see it!
Yamcha is named player of the game! The bodyguard is also the star!
Juggernaut pretends to plant a flag at center court. Nightcrawler stands at attention. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
98-119 (L)
Bullseye lands the first finger roll! First blood! The mercenary strikes first!
This next-level player Yamcha short-arms a free throw at the buzzer! Not enough lift!
Juggernaut coughs up the leather! Limited stamina strikes again at the buzzer!
Nightcrawler gambles for the steal and pays the price! Tendency to force bad shots!
What a play by Nightcrawler! A sky hook at the buzzer! This solid pro is cooking!
Buzzer sounds, halftime! Juggernaut walks head down toward the tunnel. Confession: Juggernaut tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. Play resumes. The DJ drops a beat to hype up the crowd.
This potential breakout star Galactus can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Bullseye misses! Even a mercenary can't fix that shot!
Bullseye, this respected competitor, orchestrates the delay game! Unreal swagger in action!
Nightcrawler jogs instead of sprints! Conserving energy for competing the game tomorrow!
Juggernaut tips the cap to the winners! The superhero's grace with the game!
Yamcha walks in slow motion, arms dangling. Nightcrawler speeds up. Wants it to be over. I got a text from Yamcha after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
111-101 (W)
Yamcha fires up the crowd to open the game! This established player starting strong!
A scoop layup by Bullseye from the right corner! That dawg mentality in every fiber!
Yamcha, this smooth operator, blankets the shooter under the basket! No daylight!
Yamcha explodes and creates! Another assist driving to the hoop! Quarterback!
Juggernaut manipulates the defense! Manipulation worthy of their bare hands on the game!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Galactus picks up the pace. Did you know Galactus knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Toronto Border-Patrol's colors. By accident, obviously. The players jog toward the court. The air is electric.
Galactus, this tweener, with a silky alley-oop from way beyond the arc! Smooth operator!
Palpable tension as Nightcrawler warms up with some superhero moves!
This player nobody saw coming Galactus tips it to the teammate! Eyes in the back of the head on full display!
Yamcha takes off with purpose! Silky smooth technique driving this team forward!
Juggernaut daps up the opposition! Class act, on and off the court!
Galactus jumps into Juggernaut's arms without warning. They both go down. Evening confession: I'm wearing Galactus's jersey under my shirt. For morale. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
97-98 (L)
Bullseye looks dialed in from the start! Natural-born leadership preparation showing!
Nightcrawler handles the leather like their bare hands. A tear drop from mid-range! The precision of a superhero!
Bullseye, this smooth operator, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over ego the size of Texas!
Bullseye rises up but the shot rims out! Tendency to rush rears its ugly head!
Juggernaut wills the team forward! The will of a superhero with the game!
Break. Yamcha asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. Little secret: Yamcha has a secret TikTok account with 12 followers. Posts cooking tutorials. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
Bullseye fouls at the worst time! A mercenary tripping over the highest bidder!
Bullseye slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a mercenary hits the workbench!
Bullseye, this combo guard, embodies the spirit of competition! What a show!
This respected competitor Bullseye gets the look but can't convert! Occasional mental lapses at the worst time!
Galactus, this rising star, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Juggernaut's eyes are glassy. Yamcha mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
95-117 (L)
This league veteran Yamcha gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Bullseye forces a bank shot in the paint! This solid pro trying too hard!
Yamcha double-dribbles! Protecting the VIP client doesn't have that rule!
Yamcha can't contain the drive! Protecting the VIP client is more containable!
Bullseye penetrates past everyone for an off-balance shot! This tweener on a mission!
Halftime. Galactus wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Confession: Galactus calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Nightcrawler mouths off and picks up a T! Injury-prone body taking over!
Yamcha misfires at the top of the key! This name that's buzzing searching for answers!
This player making noise Yamcha calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
Galactus, this potential breakout star, sucking wind after that sprint! The contest of battle!
This raw talent Galactus stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this raw talent wanted.
Yamcha looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Bullseye looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
95-110 (L)
Galactus, this combo guard, sets the tone immediately! Natural-born leadership from the jump!
This name that's buzzing Juggernaut muscles up a sky hook but can't get it to fall!
This guy nobody was talking about Galactus commits the 5-second violation! Clock management shaky emotions under pressure!
Galactus gets burned on the drive! Limited stamina in lateral movement!
Galactus with another catch-and-shoot triple! You can't stop this man!
Back to the locker room. Nightcrawler's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Confession: Nightcrawler believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Galactus, this newcomer, refuses to high-five! Tendency to force bad shots hurting the chemistry!
Bullseye rattles it out! Shaking the arena with their blade intensity!
Juggernaut lets fly to the right spot! That dawg mentality off-ball movement!
This solid pro Juggernaut calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Sometimes predictable game taking its toll!
Yamcha leaves the gym quietly! Quiet as a bodyguard after the VIP client setback!
Nightcrawler scratches the back of his neck nervously. Bullseye has the look of someone who has seen things. Evening confession: I'm wearing Nightcrawler's jersey under my shirt. For morale. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
97-124 (L)
Galactus, this guy nobody was talking about, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Nightcrawler, this player making noise, fumbles the finish from way beyond the arc! Back to the drawing board!
Galactus with a wild pass that sails out! This rising star giving it away!
Nightcrawler, this swiss-army-knife type, gets exploited in the switch! Defense that's basically a suggestion exposed in the mismatch!
Bullseye finishes through contact! Built tough from handling their blade!
Halftime. Bullseye's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. They say Bullseye has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
This surprise package Galactus fouls hard out of frustration! Lack of consistency showing!
Bullseye with a wild attempt! This hooper's hooper not finding the range tonight!
Nightcrawler schemes with the coaching staff! Plotting the next move, true superhero!
Juggernaut, this dude putting the league on notice, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
Nightcrawler explodes past the media. This legit talent not in the mood to talk.
Juggernaut avoids the cameras like the plague. Bullseye gets caught. Just says 'we'll be better'. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. Thanks for watching this game. And now: 'Deal or No Deal: Office Fridge Edition.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
96-117 (L)
The court welcomes Bullseye! The mercenary with the highest bidder has arrived!
Bullseye, this seasoned vet, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
Bullseye commits the live-ball turnover! Their blade would be ashamed!
Yamcha overcommits! Going all-in like a bodyguard on the VIP client, but wrong!
This league veteran Juggernaut with a vintage pull-up jumper! The old magic is still there!
Halftime whistle. Yamcha spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Juicy intel: Yamcha turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
This well-respected player Bullseye slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
Bullseye with the ugly miss! The mercenary touch is absent tonight!
Bullseye executes the delay! Patient as a mercenary waiting for their blade results!
Galactus, this do-it-all player, with tired legs along the baseline! Tendency to force bad shots slowing this hidden prospect down!
Nightcrawler, this all-around player, trudges off the palace of hoops. Lessons to take from this one.
Juggernaut bites the inside of his cheek. Bullseye pinches the bridge of his nose. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
116-101 (W)
Yamcha steps onto the gymnasium! From protecting the VIP client to this, game time!
Yamcha drains a double-clutch layup facing the rim! Textbook silky smooth technique!
Galactus with the help-side charge taken! This surprise package always in position!
Bullseye fires away the basketball through traffic! What a pass by this next-level player!
Juggernaut exploits the mismatch! Finding weakness with their bare hands acumen!
Halftime whistle. Galactus has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Bus driver's confession: Galactus raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
Juggernaut hooks it in! The arc of a superhero swinging their bare hands!
Yamcha, this established player, plays to the crowd! Palpable tension is contagious!
This hooper's hooper Nightcrawler dives for the loose ball! Unreal swagger on every play!
Galactus dishes like a player possessed! Ridiculous creativity unleashed!
Yamcha, this legit talent, points to the crowd! A primal scream! This was for the fans!
Nightcrawler and Galactus carry Juggernaut like a trophy across the entire court. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
90-134 (L)
Tip-off! Juggernaut gets us started! Let's go!
Yamcha can't buy a shot! Wouldn't happen with the VIP client, a bodyguard always hits!
Juggernaut trips up in the restricted area! A superhero never trips at work... Right?
Nightcrawler left in the dust! Even a superhero moves faster than that!
Galactus slams the basketball in frustration! Ego the size of Texas on full display!
Time to breathe. Yamcha has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. I've been told Yamcha once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
Nightcrawler, this tweener, wastes a golden chance with a wild and-one!
Yamcha calls for the sub! Even a bodyguard's stamina with their dark glasses has limits!
This total unknown Galactus forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Nightcrawler, this established player, yells at the coaching staff! Lack of consistency causing friction!
Juggernaut absorbs the defeat! Taking it on the chin, a superhero knows tough days!
Juggernaut walks head down toward the tunnel. Galactus drags his feet behind, shoulders slumped. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
86-111 (L)
Juggernaut opens with a pull-up jumper! This player on the come-up making an early statement!
Juggernaut clanks it off the rim! That sounded like their bare hands hitting the game!
This who-is-this-guy player Galactus gets pickpocketed at the buzzer! Sloppy handling!
Yamcha caught flat-footed! Standing still, the bodyguard reflexes took a nap!
Yamcha banks a reverse layup off the glass! Geometry learned from the bodyguard life!
Break. Galactus's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Little scoop: Galactus tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Nightcrawler, this versatile guy, pounds the scorer's table! Ego the size of Texas on full display!
Bullseye throws up a clunker! Their blade would weep at that trajectory!
Galactus, this versatile guy, seals the defender for position! Fundamentals!
Juggernaut misses from fatigue! This league veteran can't get the elevation at half court!
Juggernaut vows to come back stronger! Stronger than their bare hands reinforced with the game!
Yamcha scratches the back of his neck nervously. Bullseye has the look of someone who has seen things. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
My Team finishes #12 (6W-9L). Better luck next season! MVP: Nightcrawler.
Season Journal
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. The team with no name, baby!
There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's Nightcrawler. The man is massive, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face.
His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket.
And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Bullseye. The man is a mercenary. A freaking mercenary. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with their blade and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered.
The budget? What budget? We're so far below the salary floor you could limbo under it blindfolded. The team accountant is the owner's cousin running Excel 2003 with no updates since the Bush administration. The jerseys are hand-washed by the intern, road trips are carpooled, and the last free agent who visited the facilities turned around the second he saw the locker room. But you know what? Character is forged in the struggle. And this team's got character coming out of its damn ears.
My Team finishes #12 (6W-9L). Better luck next season! MVP: Nightcrawler.
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