diddlers — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | diddlers | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Denver Horse-Track | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Phoenix No-Defense | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 12 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. Ladies and gentlemen... Diddlers! Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Victor Wembanyama on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 224 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them. You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance. And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Ashton Hall. The man is an internet celebrity. A freaking internet celebrity. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with their ring light and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered. The budget is simple: it's not a budget anymore, it's a manifesto. The owner said "I don't give a damn about consequences" and he proved it. We're in financial territory that even Adam Silver didn't anticipate when he wrote the rules. Every extra dollar spent costs five dollars in tax, and guess what, they spend WAY too many extra dollars. The roster is an infernal machine, the bench is a thing of beauty, but the price is zero future. No picks, no possible trades, no plan B. It's the championship or a wall at 200 miles per hour. There is no middle ground.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
82-116 (L)
Jack prem, this total unknown, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Ashton Hall can't hit the ocean right now! Another miss for this diamond in the rough!
Stephen Curry with the lazy pass! Shaky emotions under pressure leading to easy points!
Stephen Curry gambles for the steal and pays the price! Ego the size of Texas!
Victor Wembanyama slams the damn ball in frustration! Limited stamina on full display!
Halftime. Stephen Curry throws his towel on the floor walking in. I've been told Stephen Curry always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
Michael Jordan attacks the Wilson into the front rim! That's frustrating for this potential GOAT!
This franchise cornerstone Michael Jordan can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
Victor Wembanyama, this colossus, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted at the top of the key!
Ashton Hall shakes their head! An internet celebrity who can't believe that just happened!
This world-class player Stephen Curry congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this world-class player.
Victor Wembanyama scratches the back of his neck nervously. Ashton Hall has the look of someone who has seen things. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
117-90 (W)
Michael Jordan, this colossus, sets the tone immediately! Insane court vision from the jump!
This dude out of nowhere Ashton Hall with a beautiful fadeaway jumper under the basket! Poetry in motion!
Jack prem blocks it and keeps it in play! Heads-up play, what awareness!
Jack prem, this smooth operator, delivers the entry pass! Beautiful feed into the post!
Michael Jordan makes the hockey pass! Night-in night-out consistency finding the extra pass!
The players leave the court. Victor Wembanyama clings to the tunnel railing. Fun fact: Victor Wembanyama was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
A bucket from Stephen Curry at the buzzer! That's a certified bucket-getter!
The building is buzzing! Michael Jordan and a Finals-like atmosphere creating magic!
This dark horse jack prem defers to the hot hand! Smart basketball!
The emotion is real as Ashton Hall the internet celebrity delivers their best with their ring light!
Michael Jordan, this once-in-a-lifetime player, embraces the teammates! A primal scream! Sweet victory!
Victor Wembanyama and Michael Jordan share a 30-second hug. Ashton Hall wants in. Gets pushed away. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Victor Wembanyama's name. Forgive me. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
111-95 (W)
Tip-off! Jack prem gets us started! Let's go!
This who-is-this-guy player jack prem with a cold-blooded fadeaway jumper! No conscience!
This next-level player Victor Wembanyama with a clutch steal in the paint! Intimidating!
Michael Jordan reads the defense like a book! Assist along the baseline! Nerves of steel!
This headliner Stephen Curry adjusts at halftime and comes out sharp! Adaptation!
Rest. Stephen Curry buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Bus driver's confession: Stephen Curry raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. The players jog toward the court. The air is electric.
Victor Wembanyama dunks and fires a bank shot! This titan lighting it up!
Stephen Curry, this swiss-army-knife type, gets the standing ovation! A hostile crowd!
This guy everybody knows Stephen Curry tips it to the teammate! Unreal swagger on full display!
Michael Jordan, this generational talent, has been building to this all game! During crunch time!
Stephen Curry can breathe! The win is secured, it's over!
Jack prem pretends to plant a flag at center court. Victor Wembanyama stands at attention. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
116-94 (W)
Opening possession for Ashton Hall! First touch, like first touch of their ring light!
Michael Jordan, this mountain of a man, uses every inch to deliver a free throw!
Stephen Curry with the huge charge taken from the right corner! This reliable star says no!
Jack prem rises up and dishes! Gorgeous feed in transition! Eyes in the back of the head!
Ashton Hall communicates the switch! Clear as an internet celebrity's instructions!
The players leave the court. Jack prem clings to the tunnel railing. Anecdote: jack prem threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Michael Jordan goes to work the rock with an unmatched feel for the game. And it drops! Nothing you can do!
Social media explodes with Ashton Hall's their ring light highlights! Viral internet celebrity content!
Michael Jordan brings energy off the bench! This all-time great infectious enthusiasm!
Stephen Curry is writing the story tonight! This headliner with a buzzer-beater from mid-range!
Stephen Curry, this swiss-army-knife type, salutes the faithful! A chest bump! What a night!
Stephen Curry slides across the court in his socks while Michael Jordan splashes water on everyone. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
101-118 (L)
This established star Stephen Curry comes out aggressive! Opens with a pull-up jumper facing the rim!
This well-respected player Victor Wembanyama whiffs on a free throw! The crowd groans!
Victor Wembanyama, this mammoth, gets the ball poked away! Limited stamina when protecting the Wilson!
Ashton Hall loses their assignment! Like losing their ring light in the workshop!
Michael Jordan knocks down a bucket from downtown! Ice in the veins!
Halftime. Ashton Hall throws his towel on the floor walking in. Rumor has it Ashton Hall has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
This max-contract guy Stephen Curry gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Ashton Hall misses! Even an internet celebrity can't fix that shot!
This guy with rings on every finger Michael Jordan calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
Ashton Hall grimaces through the effort! The grimace of an internet celebrity finishing the algorithm!
Victor Wembanyama, this guy with a proven track record, takes the loss hard. Heavy feet at the wrong moments.
Stephen Curry refuses the coach's embrace. Michael Jordan accepts it but his body is stiff. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
112-97 (W)
Michael Jordan, this mountain of a man, takes the court! The crowd fully behind them is electric!
Jack prem dribbles and it's a floater! This who-is-this-guy player proving the doubters wrong!
Jack prem times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A double team from mid-range!
This who-is-this-guy player jack prem zips the pass through! Another dime from this combo guard!
This jersey-selling name Stephen Curry runs the pick-and-pop to perfection! Tactical mastery!
The players disappear. Ashton Hall has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Did you know Ashton Hall once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
Ashton Hall applies the same technique to the Wilson as to the algorithm. A double-clutch layup at half court!
Standing room only! A standing ovation as Victor Wembanyama takes over in transition!
Ashton Hall provides the spark! Electric energy, the internet celebrity is firing on all cylinders!
Ashton Hall's arc from the algorithm to a tear drop is the stuff of movies!
Jack prem, this hidden prospect, with the post-game interview smile! Silky smooth technique all night!
Stephen Curry climbs onto the scorer's table. Michael Jordan joins him. Security is unsure whether to intervene. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
116-95 (W)
Michael Jordan, this absolute legend, draws first blood! A buzzer-beater to start!
Jack prem launches to the rack for a two-handed slam! Can't contain this versatile guy!
Ashton Hall with the chase-down defensive rebound! What athleticism!
Jack prem with the no-look pass! This unknown gem has eyes in the back of the head!
This guy with a proven track record Victor Wembanyama uses the floater over this tower coverage! Smart!
Halftime. Michael Jordan is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. They say Michael Jordan has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
This raw talent jack prem converts on the low block! A catch-and-shoot triple right on cue!
Ashton Hall throws the arm sleeve to the crowd! Better than throwing the algorithm!
Jack prem puts ego aside! The team comes first for this newcomer!
Jack prem is the protagonist tonight! This hungry young player authoring a masterpiece!
This player making noise Victor Wembanyama led from start to finish! Comprehensive win!
Jack prem moonwalks across the hardwood. Michael Jordan attempts the worm. One of them pulls it off. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
106-110 (L)
This absolute legend Michael Jordan in the starting lineup! Let's see what this absolute legend brings!
Ashton Hall hits the mid-range! The sweet spot, just like their ring light placement!
This dark horse jack prem caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Michael Jordan, this absolute unit, gets the separation but can't finish! Hot head!
Stephen Curry hits from under the basket! The crowd is back in it! Game on!
Heading in. Stephen Curry's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. The staff told me Stephen Curry sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Victor Wembanyama, this giant, gets blocked in the clutch! A double team denies this next-level player!
Victor Wembanyama can't mask the disappointment! This player making noise wearing it on the sleeve!
The announcers share Ashton Hall's internet celebrity story,captivating the algorithm since age 16!
Ashton Hall coughs it up with the game on the line! The algorithm slipping away!
Michael Jordan walks off in silence. This absolute legend gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Stephen Curry sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Victor Wembanyama puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
98-116 (L)
Ashton Hall wins the opening tip! Tipping off with internet celebrity energy!
A floater from jack prem sails wide! This raw talent needs to regroup!
Victor Wembanyama loses the ball in traffic! This respected competitor can't afford that!
Michael Jordan gets crossed over! This global icon left frozen off the pick and roll!
Jack prem with pure God-given talent finds the angle for a bucket!
Cut! Halftime. Jack prem's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Little scoop: jack prem logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
This next-level player Victor Wembanyama can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
This top-tier talent Stephen Curry throws up a prayer at the buzzer! Not answered!
Jack prem, this swiss-army-knife type, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! A gym-rat work ethic!
This max-contract guy Stephen Curry signals to the bench! Needs a blow! Tendency to rush!
Ashton Hall fought but fell short! Just out of reach, the internet celebrity gave everything!
Stephen Curry collapses into the first available chair. Victor Wembanyama stays standing, eyes glazed over. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
112-93 (W)
Stephen Curry looks dialed in from the start! An unmatched feel for the game preparation showing!
Stephen Curry catches fire! And it's a thunderous slam! Silky smooth technique taking over!
Michael Jordan, this mammoth, clamps down in the clutch! Elite a defensive rebound!
Jack prem, this solid build, runs the offense with an unmatched feel for the game! Beautiful passing!
Victor Wembanyama, this big fella, sets a brick-wall screen! A killer instinct on full display!
Halftime. The doctor examines jack prem's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Bus driver's confession: jack prem raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
Jack prem, this do-it-all player, muscles in for a scoop layup! Pure power!
The crowd is on its feet! A sold-out gym on fire as Victor Wembanyama takes the court!
Michael Jordan, this all-time great, rotates on defense! Pure God-given talent team commitment!
Michael Jordan, this tree of a man, makes a statement! This global icon is here to stay!
This well-respected player Victor Wembanyama secures the win with iron discipline! Another one in the bag!
Jack prem and Victor Wembanyama freestyle a victory rap. Ashton Hall does the beatbox. It's terrible but magnificent. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
107-110 (L)
Stephen Curry penetrates onto the floor! The crowd roars for this reliable star!
Stephen Curry, this world-class player, drops a devastating dunk in the paint! Pure artistry!
Ashton Hall, this do-it-all player, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over occasional mental lapses!
Ashton Hall bricks another one! Building something awful with their ring light tonight!
Stephen Curry spins with renewed energy! This established star smells blood!
Halftime. The doctor examines Ashton Hall's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Did you know Ashton Hall started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Victor Wembanyama can't handle the pressure! This legit talent folds on the final possession!
This elite player Stephen Curry stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
This reliable star Stephen Curry turns adversity into fuel! A live masterclass energy!
Jack prem, this smooth operator, rattles out the free throw! Defense that's basically a suggestion getting the best of this newcomer!
Jack prem fires away to the tunnel in disappointment. This dude out of nowhere will learn from this.
Stephen Curry stands alone at center court as the lights go dim. Michael Jordan comes back to get him. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
95-99 (L)
Ashton Hall huddles with the team! Huddling up, the internet celebrity strategizes!
Victor Wembanyama, this seasoned vet, with the exclamation-point bank shot! Game changer!
Michael Jordan, this colossus, gets blown by on the perimeter! Sometimes predictable game in the legs!
This top-tier talent Stephen Curry shanks a sky hook from way beyond the arc! That's uncharacteristic!
This big-name player Stephen Curry with the three-point play! Comeback special at the buzzer!
End of the first act. Ashton Hall is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Anecdote: Ashton Hall tried to impress the Cleveland Twin-Towers players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
Ashton Hall misses both free throws! An internet celebrity failing the algorithm inspection, twice!
This living legend Michael Jordan shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
What a journey for jack prem! From the bench to the spotlight! You love to see it!
This dark horse Ashton Hall fouls in the clutch! Hot head showing late!
Victor Wembanyama, this hooper's hooper, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Jack prem clenches his left fist, unclenches, clenches again. Victor Wembanyama fidgets with his wristband nervously. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
101-92 (W)
Game time! Stephen Curry and this guy everybody knows ready to put on a show at the field house!
Victor Wembanyama attacks at half court and finishes with a layup! Too good!
This absolute legend Michael Jordan takes the charge off the pick and roll! Gutsy play!
Ashton Hall racks up the helpers! Dishing like it's their internet celebrity... Because it is!
Michael Jordan, this franchise cornerstone, manages the clock beautifully in the closing moments!
Halftime. Stephen Curry throws his towel on the floor walking in. Quick anecdote about Stephen Curry: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Ashton Hall catches and shoots,an and-one! Quick hands from captivating the algorithm!
Listen to that roar! Ashton Hall blows past and the place explodes!
Jack prem, this combo guard, repositions on defense! Unreal swagger collective effort!
Stephen Curry overcomes the early struggles! This bonafide star rising like a phoenix!
Final buzzer! Jack prem is the hero! This total unknown with a game for the ages!
Ashton Hall mimes popping a champagne bottle. Michael Jordan mimes chugging straight from it. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
86-113 (L)
Stephen Curry, this do-it-all player, is introduced and the arena explodes! This max-contract guy is in the building!
This global icon Michael Jordan short-arms a two-handed slam from downtown! Not enough lift!
Victor Wembanyama with a wild pass that sails out! This next-level player giving it away!
Michael Jordan loses the screen battle! Sometimes predictable game around the picks!
Ashton Hall blows past with the precision of an internet celebrity at work. And it's a buzzer-beater!
The players head to the locker room. Stephen Curry is sweating like a racehorse. Anecdote: Stephen Curry fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Stephen Curry storms to the bench! This guy everybody knows is visibly upset!
Ashton Hall fires a half-court heave driving to the hoop but can't connect! Tendency to rush showing!
Victor Wembanyama, this long boy, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!
This dude out of nowhere jack prem stumbles! The fatigue is real after the 48 regulation minutes!
Stephen Curry spins past the media. This established star not in the mood to talk.
Victor Wembanyama isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Stephen Curry tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
95-105 (L)
Victor Wembanyama fires up the crowd to open the game! This seasoned vet starting strong!
Jack prem misfires in transition! This unknown gem searching for answers!
Stephen Curry, this all-around player, steps out of bounds with the damn ball! Mental lapse!
Ashton Hall gets crossed over! Ankles broken like the algorithm on a rough day!
Ashton Hall handles the rock like their ring light. A fadeaway jumper facing the rim! The precision of an internet celebrity!
Halftime whistle. Michael Jordan high-fives his teammates on the way out. Anecdote: Michael Jordan fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
Victor Wembanyama, this 7-footer, waves off the play call! Heavy feet hurting the team!
Jack prem, this tweener, can't finish driving to the hoop! That one stings!
This global icon Michael Jordan sets the back screen! A killer instinct off-ball contribution!
This top-tier talent Stephen Curry can barely jump! The springs are gone under the basket!
Stephen Curry reflects on what could have been. Defense that's basically a suggestion difference tonight.
Stephen Curry rips off his headband and throws it on the ground. Michael Jordan picks up his own and folds it carefully. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
diddlers ends the season #8 with a 7W-8L record. Season MVP: Victor Wembanyama.
Season Journal
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. Ladies and gentlemen... Diddlers!
Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Victor Wembanyama on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 224 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them.
You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance.
And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Ashton Hall. The man is an internet celebrity. A freaking internet celebrity. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with their ring light and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered.
The budget is simple: it's not a budget anymore, it's a manifesto. The owner said "I don't give a damn about consequences" and he proved it. We're in financial territory that even Adam Silver didn't anticipate when he wrote the rules. Every extra dollar spent costs five dollars in tax, and guess what, they spend WAY too many extra dollars. The roster is an infernal machine, the bench is a thing of beauty, but the price is zero future. No picks, no possible trades, no plan B. It's the championship or a wall at 200 miles per hour. There is no middle ground.
diddlers ends the season #8 with a 7W-8L record. Season MVP: Victor Wembanyama.
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