My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Phoenix No-Defense | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | My Team | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Houston Blast-Off | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. The team with no name, baby! Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's LeBron James. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 206 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly. What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch. Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Darius. An amateur in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles bare hands better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Darius has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the game and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning. The budget? It's "here, take my credit card and go nuts." The owner is a damn billionaire who wants a championship ring the way other people want a yacht. Every position is doubled up, every role player is a former All-Star, and the bench is so deep that the twelfth man on this team would start for half the league. It's an armada, a war machine, and everyone in this building knows that if these guys don't win the title, it's a goddamn scandal.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
87-131 (L)
Tip-off! Darius gets us started! Let's go!
Olivier Rioux fades away but the shot rims out! Lack of consistency rears its ugly head!
This first-ballot legend LeBron James gets pickpocketed facing the rim! Sloppy handling!
Allen Iverson scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Shaky emotions under pressure!
This all-time great LeBron James fouls hard out of frustration! Ego the size of Texas showing!
Halftime whistle! LeBron James grabs a towel and collapses on the bench. Did you know LeBron James started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
This potential GOAT Michael Jordan muscles up an alley-oop but can't get it to fall!
Michael Jordan is gassed! This guy with rings on every finger bent over at half court! Ego the size of Texas catching up!
Michael Jordan, this mountain of a man, commits the travel! Ego the size of Texas in the footwork!
This generational talent LeBron James stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Allen Iverson walks off in silence. This bonafide star gave it all but it wasn't enough.
LeBron James's gaze is cold, distant. Darius's gaze is hot, angry. I tried to take a selfie with the court in the background. My thumb is over the lens. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
108-109 (L)
This franchise guy Allen Iverson catches the Spalding early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Darius, this dark horse, operates at half court with a finger roll! Clinic!
This franchise cornerstone LeBron James picks up the cheap foul! Lack of consistency showing!
Michael Jordan misfires from along the baseline! This basketball god searching for answers!
Michael Jordan fades away and scores! The comeback is on! This potential GOAT believing!
Rest. Darius buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Exclusive: Darius was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
Allen Iverson fades away and bricks it! Tendency to rush in the third quarter!
This guy with rings on every finger Michael Jordan hangs the head after the miss! Deflated from the left corner!
The stadium knows it! Allen Iverson is special! This world-class player writing legacy!
This undisputed superstar Michael Jordan with the clutch-time breakdown! Injury-prone body on full display!
Michael Jordan crosses over to the tunnel in disappointment. This potential GOAT will learn from this.
Allen Iverson and Michael Jordan walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
110-104 (W)
Michael Jordan, this beanpole, sets the tone immediately! Pure God-given talent from the jump!
Darius dishes past the defense for a deep three! Size advantage from this this smooth operator!
Allen Iverson, this bonafide star, pokes the rock free! Scramble under the basket!
Allen Iverson threads the needle! Beautiful assist from mid-range! Unreal court vision!
Allen Iverson uses the hesitation dribble! A gym-rat work ethic creating separation!
Halftime. Allen Iverson's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Did you know? Allen Iverson once signed an autograph for a referee. During the game. Mid free-throw. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Darius, this diamond in the rough, drops a bucket along the baseline! Pure artistry!
Deafening noise! Darius dunks and the building shakes!
Allen Iverson finds the open teammate! This reliable star making everyone better!
This who-is-this-guy player Olivier Rioux channels the inner champion! Scary good handles at its peak!
This hidden prospect Olivier Rioux walks off to a standing ovation! A sold-out gym on fire! Incredible!
Olivier Rioux grabs Allen Iverson and hoists him onto his shoulders. Darius tries to climb on too. It ends in a pile. I learned tonight that Olivier Rioux used to be a volunteer firefighter. That explains the unique running style. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
104-100 (W)
And we're underway! LeBron James touches the Wilson first! This household name looks eager!
LeBron James with a textbook defensive stance! That's how you do it!
Darius pulls up but overcooks it! Ego the size of Texas showing up again!
What a play by LeBron James! A half-court heave from the right corner! This living legend is cooking!
Michael Jordan rises up with purpose every possession! This basketball god chess master!
Both teams head in. Olivier Rioux has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. I've been told Olivier Rioux always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
Michael Jordan, this long boy, comes through when called upon! On the inbound pass! Star!
This hidden prospect Darius with a critical stop! A perfect contest when it counts!
This player nobody saw coming Olivier Rioux brings an incredible energy to a new level! Incredible scene!
Darius nails the free throws to ice it! This guy nobody was talking about with steady hands!
Michael Jordan, this towering presence, acknowledges the fans! A roaring arena! A victory dance!
Allen Iverson and Olivier Rioux play rock-paper-scissors to decide who carries the ball. Allen Iverson loses. Tonight I nearly had a heart attack at least four times. And I'm just the commentator. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
98-97 (W)
Michael Jordan, this basketball god, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Darius with the denial defense! This surprise package not giving an inch!
Olivier Rioux forces a deep three on the low block! This hidden prospect trying too hard!
Darius knocks down a layup from downtown! Ice in the veins!
This headliner Allen Iverson recognizes the over-help and punishes it!
Halftime! LeBron James has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Rumor has it LeBron James does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
Allen Iverson, this elite player, keeps the team alive! A deep three in overtime!
Olivier Rioux times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A charge taken at the top of the key!
Allen Iverson, this franchise guy, feeds off every decibel! A packed arena is fuel!
This once-in-a-lifetime player LeBron James with nerves of steel! A sky hook when it matters most!
Allen Iverson grabs the game ball! This bonafide star earned it tonight!
Darius gives his headband to a kid in the crowd. Michael Jordan gives his shoes. Allen Iverson gives his water bottle. The kid is overwhelmed. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
104-93 (W)
LeBron James fires away into position! This franchise cornerstone not wasting any time!
A finger roll by Allen Iverson! The crowd erupts! Silky smooth technique personified!
Michael Jordan, this certified GOAT candidate, walls up from downtown! Impenetrable defense!
Olivier Rioux, this colossus, hits the cutter perfectly! Scary good handles right on time!
Olivier Rioux spins into the right spacing! An unmatched feel for the game and elite court awareness!
Finally a breather. LeBron James has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Juicy anecdote: LeBron James was caught dancing the Macarena in the showers. Alone. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Michael Jordan with the and-one pull-up jumper! A killer instinct through the whistle!
Darius, this all-around player, basks in a crowd fully behind them! This is home!
Allen Iverson dishes the damn ball with patience! This big-name player trusting the system!
This max-contract guy Allen Iverson digs deep! Finding reserves nobody knew existed!
That's the game! LeBron James finishes with a monster performance! This guy with rings on every finger victorious!
Michael Jordan does the floss while LeBron James spins like a top. Allen Iverson just stands there, arms crossed. Cool. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
110-94 (W)
LeBron James, this tower, takes the court! The wild stands is electric!
LeBron James takes off the Spalding with pure God-given talent. And it drops! Nothing you can do!
Allen Iverson with the huge ball recovery from the left corner! This All-Star caliber talent says no!
Allen Iverson, this versatile guy, finds the rolling big man! A step-back three off the assist!
LeBron James, this towering presence, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!
The players leave the court. LeBron James clings to the tunnel railing. Anecdote: LeBron James tried to impress the Toronto Border-Patrol players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Olivier Rioux attacks from the right corner and finishes with a sky hook! Too good!
The energy in this building is unreal! Michael Jordan channeling a roaring arena!
Allen Iverson, this combo guard, repositions on defense! Natural-born leadership collective effort!
Darius, this do-it-all player, stands tall when the team needs this surprise package most!
LeBron James dunks in triumph! The final buzzer sounds! That's a W!
Michael Jordan and Allen Iverson do celebratory push-ups. Darius counts out loud. Definitely cheating. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
111-110 (W)
This elite player Allen Iverson means business! Fast start from the right corner!
LeBron James, this walking skyscraper, locks down the attacker! A gym-rat work ethic on the defensive end!
Olivier Rioux clanks another one off the rim! This surprise package needs to find rhythm!
Michael Jordan, this colossus, showcases next-level basketball IQ with a gorgeous pull-up jumper!
Michael Jordan sets the screen at the perfect angle! This hall-of-fame lock cerebral play!
Well-deserved break. LeBron James looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Did you know? LeBron James tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
This hidden prospect Darius takes over! Back-to-back a finger roll in the fourth quarter!
Darius rejects the layup! A perfect contest by this combo guard! Get that out!
The arena is electric! This first-ballot legend LeBron James thriving in a standing ovation!
This basketball god Michael Jordan with the heroic flawless defensive rotation! Preserves the lead!
This top-tier talent Allen Iverson is all smiles! The stats back up the brilliance!
Allen Iverson and LeBron James carry Michael Jordan like a trophy across the entire court. I tried to take a selfie with the court in the background. My thumb is over the lens. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
88-102 (L)
Allen Iverson takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
This player nobody saw coming Darius throws up a prayer in transition! Not answered!
Darius, this smooth operator, gets stripped from the right corner! Tendency to force bad shots exposed!
Darius gets burned on the drive! Sometimes predictable game in lateral movement!
A layup from Allen Iverson from the left corner! That's a statement right there!
Rest time. Darius isolates in a corner of the locker room, headphones on. Did you know Darius started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
Olivier Rioux, this titan, waves off the play call! Occasional mental lapses hurting the team!
Olivier Rioux, this diamond in the rough, with a contested floater that misses in transition!
This who-is-this-guy player Darius calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
Darius, this diamond in the rough, is dragging! The 4 periods of 12 minutes minutes taking their toll!
Michael Jordan, this oversized freak, trudges off the floor. Lessons to take from this one.
Allen Iverson sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Michael Jordan puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
103-98 (W)
This reliable star Allen Iverson comes out firing! A pull-up jumper in the first minute!
This rising star Darius anchors the defense from downtown! Nothing gets through!
A step-back three from Darius goes in and out! Heartbreaking from mid-range!
A scoop layup from LeBron James! Another dagger! This hall-of-fame lock closing the door!
Darius, this all-around player, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! Ridiculous creativity!
Halftime! LeBron James walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Confession: LeBron James tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
Olivier Rioux with the biggest play of the game! A step-back three driving to the hoop!
Olivier Rioux, this colossus, swats it into the third row! A brilliant anticipation!
Darius in a crowd fully behind them! This newcomer has been waiting for this stage!
This player nobody saw coming Olivier Rioux answers back immediately! A two-handed slam from mid-range! Resilient!
Allen Iverson daps up the opponent! Respect from this elite player after the battle!
LeBron James and Michael Jordan carry Allen Iverson like a trophy across the entire court. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
96-107 (L)
Allen Iverson, this world-class player, draws first blood! A free throw to start!
A hook shot from Allen Iverson sails wide! This headliner needs to regroup!
Darius, this solid build, fumbles the entry pass at the top of the key!
This bonafide star Allen Iverson fouls reaching in! Sometimes predictable game on defense!
Olivier Rioux fades away and fires a pull-up jumper! This mountain of a man lighting it up!
Break. Michael Jordan's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. The staff told me Michael Jordan sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
LeBron James gets a technical for complaining! Hot head on full display!
This dude out of nowhere Darius shanks a bucket in the paint! That's uncharacteristic!
This jersey-selling name Allen Iverson uses the floater over this versatile guy coverage! Smart!
Olivier Rioux, this dude out of nowhere, sucking wind after that sprint! The contest of battle!
Michael Jordan had the chances but couldn't convert. This potential GOAT left wanting.
Olivier Rioux scratches the back of his neck nervously. Darius has the look of someone who has seen things. I learned that Olivier Rioux's father was a volunteer firefighter. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
83-126 (L)
The game begins and LeBron James is ready! You can see an off-the-charts basketball IQ written all over his face!
Allen Iverson, this smooth operator, loses the handle and the opportunity! Ego the size of Texas!
Michael Jordan, this giant, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted from the left corner!
Darius falls asleep on the weak side! Defense that's basically a suggestion exposed!
Darius can't mask the disappointment! This total unknown wearing it on the sleeve!
Break! Michael Jordan takes his jersey off before even reaching the locker room. Did you know Michael Jordan knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Cleveland Twin-Towers's colors. By accident, obviously. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Darius misfires under the basket! Even this total unknown has off nights!
Darius, this all-around player, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
LeBron James tries to be too fancy and loses the basketball! Tendency to force bad shots in the decision-making!
This newcomer Olivier Rioux can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Darius reflects on what could have been. Sometimes predictable game the difference tonight.
LeBron James's brow is furrowed, lips pressed thin. Michael Jordan breathes through his nose, hard, steady, trying to calm down. I learned backstage that Michael Jordan also does volunteer firefighter on weekends. That explains those reflexes. And now, a brand new episode of 'Desperately Seeking My Cat.' Good night, everyone.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
106-116 (L)
This player nobody saw coming Darius gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
This global icon LeBron James with a rare miss from downtown! Even the best stumble!
This first-ballot legend LeBron James commits the offensive foul! Turnover from downtown!
Darius, this tweener, gets blown by on the perimeter! Limited stamina in the legs!
Michael Jordan, this beanpole, glides to from downtown for a silky hook shot!
Break! Michael Jordan heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. I've been told Michael Jordan once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Olivier Rioux mouths off and picks up a T! Injury-prone body taking over!
Allen Iverson, this solid build, gets stuffed trying a free throw! Denied!
Michael Jordan, this beanpole, exploits the mismatch in the paint! Smart play!
This household name Michael Jordan can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
Darius, this versatile guy, hangs the head. Tough loss despite an off-the-charts basketball IQ effort.
Allen Iverson looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Olivier Rioux looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
80-113 (L)
This absolute legend Michael Jordan opens the scoring! A buzzer-beater! Early advantage!
Olivier Rioux, this walking skyscraper, gets the separation but can't finish! Tendency to force bad shots!
Michael Jordan dribbles carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
Olivier Rioux gets posted up and scored on! This diamond in the rough overpowered!
Allen Iverson, this big-name player, barks at the teammate! Lack of consistency taking over!
That's a wrap for now. Darius dives into the tunnel. Little secret: Darius listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
LeBron James with the off-balance step-back three! This all-time great couldn't set the feet!
Olivier Rioux is visibly tired! This diamond in the rough needs a timeout badly!
LeBron James coughs up the basketball! Tendency to force bad shots strikes again from downtown!
Michael Jordan slams the Wilson in frustration! Occasional mental lapses on full display!
Michael Jordan sits alone on the bench. This undisputed superstar processing the defeat.
LeBron James and Allen Iverson share a single look. Just one. It contains all the disappointment in the world. Tonight I had a revelation: Allen Iverson runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
82-109 (L)
Darius opens with a devastating dunk! This diamond in the rough making an early statement!
A sky hook from LeBron James catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
LeBron James takes off into a dead end in transition! Turnover! Limited stamina!
Allen Iverson gives up the back door! Injury-prone body when overplaying!
A catch-and-shoot triple from Allen Iverson! This All-Star caliber talent just keeps delivering!
Halftime whistle. Darius high-fives his teammates on the way out. Little scoop: Darius tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Allen Iverson drops the head after another miss! Hot head sapping the confidence!
Darius fires a buzzer beater at the buzzer but can't connect! Occasional mental lapses showing!
Michael Jordan reads the defense perfectly! Silky smooth technique and a sky-high basketball IQ!
This potential breakout star Darius is a warrior but the body says no! This ball game of war!
Darius, this dark horse, takes the loss hard. Shaky emotions under pressure at the wrong moments.
Allen Iverson is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. Michael Jordan waits at the tunnel entrance. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
My Team ends the season #10 with a 7W-8L record. Season MVP: LeBron James.
Season Journal
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. The team with no name, baby!
Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's LeBron James. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 206 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly.
What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch.
Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Darius. An amateur in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles bare hands better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Darius has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the game and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning.
The budget? It's "here, take my credit card and go nuts." The owner is a damn billionaire who wants a championship ring the way other people want a yacht. Every position is doubled up, every role player is a former All-Star, and the bench is so deep that the twelfth man on this team would start for half the league. It's an armada, a war machine, and everyone in this building knows that if these guys don't win the title, it's a goddamn scandal.
My Team ends the season #10 with a 7W-8L record. Season MVP: LeBron James.
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