TeamBranch Logo
TeamBranch

Hjjjbasketball_team 🇺🇸

5 members · TeamBranch

Season Journal

Standings

#TeamWLPts
1Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest15030
2Detroit Engine-Roar13226
3Boston Ring-Chasers13226
4Cleveland Twin-Towers11422
5Houston Blast-Off9618
6San Antonio Skyscrapers8716
7New York Over-Timers8716
8Hjjj8716
9Denver Horse-Track6912
10Minnesota Ice-Wall6912
11Phoenix No-Defense51010
12Los Angeles Nursing-Home51010
13Orlando Magic-Beans51010
14Toronto Border-Patrol4118
15Miami Heart-Attack3126
16Philadelphia Injury-Report1142

Pre-season

Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. Ladies and gentlemen... Hjjj! There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's LeBron James. Standing at 206 cm, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face. His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket. Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Warren Buffett. An investor in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles their portfolio ledger better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Warren Buffett has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the next venture and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning. The budget? It's "here, take my credit card and go nuts." The owner is a damn billionaire who wants a championship ring the way other people want a yacht. Every position is doubled up, every role player is a former All-Star, and the bench is so deep that the twelfth man on this team would start for half the league. It's an armada, a war machine, and everyone in this building knows that if these guys don't win the title, it's a goddamn scandal.

Matchday 1vs Detroit Engine-Roar

90-133 (L)

Eric Cartman opens with a finger roll! This hungry young player making an early statement!

LeBron James, this franchise cornerstone, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!

This top-tier talent Stephen Curry commits the 5-second violation! Clock management ego the size of Texas!

Stephen Curry scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Injury-prone body!

Warren Buffett mouths off and picks up a T! Shaky emotions under pressure taking over!

Break. Kevin Durant asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. Bus driver's confession: Kevin Durant raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.

A layup from Eric Cartman hits the iron! Heavy feet under the spotlight!

This unknown gem Eric Cartman has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!

Kevin Durant with the backcourt violation! This world-class player under too much pressure!

Kevin Durant, this world-class player, with the frustrated foul! Sometimes predictable game in tough moments!

This bonafide star Stephen Curry congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this bonafide star.

Eric Cartman and LeBron James share a single look. Just one. It contains all the disappointment in the world. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'

Matchday 2vs Miami Heart-Attack

102-113 (L)

Warren Buffett pulls up into position! This once-in-a-lifetime player not wasting any time!

This reliable star Kevin Durant misses the mark! A two-handed slam goes begging under the basket!

Eric Cartman throws it away! A pass worse than a deceiver tossing the trusting mark!

Eric Cartman, this versatile guy, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over injury-prone body!

Eric Cartman hits the triple! Three lengths ahead, three cheers for this deceiver turned baller!

Break. Eric Cartman collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. Small detail: Eric Cartman wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.

LeBron James, this absolute legend, yells at the coaching staff! Ego the size of Texas causing friction!

This established star Kevin Durant short-arms a two-handed slam from the left corner! Not enough lift!

This all-time great LeBron James calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!

This absolute legend Warren Buffett signals to the bench! Needs a blow! Lack of consistency!

Eric Cartman sits alone on the bench. This rising star processing the defeat.

Eric Cartman claps his hands in frustration. Kevin Durant clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Eric Cartman's name. Forgive me. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.

Matchday 3vs Orlando Magic-Beans

114-104 (W)

Warren Buffett, this combo guard, takes the court! The immense pressure is electric!

Eric Cartman with the highlight-reel finger roll! This diamond in the rough owning the moment!

This big-name player Kevin Durant reads the play and intercepts! Brilliant anticipation!

This living legend LeBron James creates for others! Unselfish play with unreal swagger!

Kevin Durant identifies the soft spot in the zone! This reliable star surgical precision!

Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Stephen Curry picks up the pace. Anecdote: Stephen Curry once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.

LeBron James scores from the left corner! A layup with that dawg mentality! Brilliant!

Stephen Curry soaks in a packed arena! This franchise guy living for these moments!

Warren Buffett syncs with the lineup! In sync like their portfolio ledger and the next venture!

Kevin Durant, this world-class player, answers every challenge! Iron discipline never fading!

This certified bucket Stephen Curry raises the arms! The win is in the books! A finger to the lips to hush the crowd!

LeBron James and Kevin Durant act out a movie scene where they reunite in slow motion. The crowd is dying. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'

Matchday 4vs Philadelphia Injury-Report

122-92 (W)

This surprise package Eric Cartman gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!

A bank shot! Kevin Durant cannot be stopped tonight! This big-name player is locked in!

Kevin Durant draws the offensive foul! Smart play, great positioning!

Warren Buffett, this living legend, manipulates the defense and drops the dime! An unmatched feel for the game!

Kevin Durant reads the defense perfectly! Unreal swagger and a sky-high basketball IQ!

Coach calls everyone back. Eric Cartman drags his feet toward the tunnel. Little scoop: Eric Cartman tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Break's over, the players take their positions.

Eric Cartman with a pull-up jumper in the paint! Deceiving the trusting mark in tight spaces!

The crowd is on its feet! A standing ovation as Kevin Durant takes the court!

This living legend LeBron James motivates the squad in the huddle! Natural leader!

What a journey for Warren Buffett! From the bench to the spotlight! You love to see it!

Stephen Curry dribbles to the crowd! A bench mob celebration! This elite player gave everything!

Stephen Curry mimes popping a champagne bottle. Warren Buffett mimes chugging straight from it. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. Thanks for watching. Coming up: '48 Hours: The Secret Life of Roundabouts.' Essential viewing.

Matchday 5vs Phoenix No-Defense

111-94 (W)

LeBron James dishes onto the floor! The crowd roars for this guy with rings on every finger!

A free throw from LeBron James! Another dagger! This once-in-a-lifetime player closing the door!

Kevin Durant with the chase-down perfect contest! What athleticism!

This max-contract guy Kevin Durant orchestrates the offense from way beyond the arc! Maestro!

Kevin Durant makes the hockey pass! Insane court vision finding the extra pass!

Break time. Stephen Curry bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Anecdote: Stephen Curry once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. The players jog toward the court. The air is electric.

What a shot from Eric Cartman! A deceiver bringing their forged papers energy to the palace of hoops!

You can cut the tension with a knife! Palpable tension as Kevin Durant steps up!

Warren Buffett takes the blame for the mistake! This first-ballot legend protecting teammates!

The stadium knows it! LeBron James is special! This all-time great writing legacy!

Kevin Durant, this max-contract guy, embraces the teammates! A salute to the fans! Sweet victory!

Stephen Curry and LeBron James slap each other's butts. Warren Buffett declines the invitation. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.

Matchday 6vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home

115-93 (W)

Eric Cartman steps onto the palace of hoops! From deceiving the trusting mark to this, game time!

Warren Buffett hits the mid-range! The sweet spot, just like their portfolio ledger placement!

Warren Buffett deflects the pass and starts the break! This absolute legend defense to offense!

This jersey-selling name Stephen Curry with the one-handed bullet pass! Right on the money!

Eric Cartman draws the double team! Attracting attention, the deceiver is a magnet out there!

Halftime whistle. Stephen Curry spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Did you know? Stephen Curry launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?

Kevin Durant, this mammoth, elevates for a monster double-clutch layup!

Kevin Durant, this giant, commands an incredible energy! The arena belongs to this big-name player!

Kevin Durant fades away the rock with patience! This established star trusting the system!

This All-Star caliber talent Kevin Durant plays every possession like the last! A killer instinct burning bright!

Warren Buffett hangs up the jersey! Calling it a night, the investor is done!

Eric Cartman does the robot at center court while Stephen Curry pretends to be an airplane. The crowd loves it. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.

Matchday 7vs Toronto Border-Patrol

123-91 (W)

Warren Buffett bounces the Wilson pre-game! Getting that rhythm going!

Stephen Curry posts up past the defense for a tear drop! Size advantage from this this tweener!

This All-Star caliber talent Stephen Curry with the no-foul contest from the right corner! Clean as a whistle!

LeBron James rises up and dishes! Gorgeous feed from mid-range! That dawg mentality!

This global icon LeBron James adjusts at halftime and comes out sharp! Adaptation!

Off to the locker room. Stephen Curry has already drained two water bottles. Did you know Stephen Curry plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.

This jersey-selling name Kevin Durant with a beautiful catch-and-shoot triple from way beyond the arc! Poetry in motion!

The energy in this building is unreal! Stephen Curry channeling a roaring arena!

Stephen Curry, this versatile guy, repositions on defense! Nerves of steel collective effort!

Stephen Curry, this versatile guy, is on a mission! Nothing can stop this guy everybody knows right now!

Eric Cartman carries the team to victory! Strong as a deceiver on a Monday morning!

LeBron James throws chalk powder like LeBron. Stephen Curry coughs for two minutes straight. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'

Matchday 8vs Minnesota Ice-Wall

93-113 (L)

This surprise package Eric Cartman comes out aggressive! Opens with a reverse layup along the baseline!

Stephen Curry fades away the orange into nothing! Sometimes predictable game on full display tonight!

Warren Buffett throws it away! Tendency to rush under pressure in transition!

This guy everybody knows Stephen Curry bites on the fake! Beaten along the baseline!

LeBron James with the and-one alley-oop! Insane court vision through the whistle!

The players head in. Eric Cartman slips on the wet tunnel floor. Intel: Eric Cartman asked Minnesota Ice-Wall for their energy drink recipe. They refused. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!

This jersey-selling name Stephen Curry throws an elbow in frustration! Hot head on full display!

Warren Buffett short on the attempt! Needs the reach of their portfolio ledger!

Eric Cartman, this all-around player, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!

Stephen Curry grabs the shorts! This top-tier talent is running on fumes!

Warren Buffett shakes hands through the pain! An investor who respects their portfolio ledger and the game!

LeBron James refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. Warren Buffett watches it and immediately regrets it. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.

Matchday 9vs Houston Blast-Off

104-87 (W)

This bonafide star Kevin Durant in the starting lineup! Let's see what this bonafide star brings!

Warren Buffett scores the go-ahead! An investor who always finishes the job on time!

LeBron James slides to the passing lane and steals it! Nerves of steel!

Eric Cartman serves it on a platter! A deceiver serving the trusting mark with style!

LeBron James, this giant, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!

Halftime whistle. Warren Buffett has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Little secret: Warren Buffett listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.

This established star Kevin Durant with a picture-perfect finger roll! The crowd goes wild!

Eric Cartman in a hostile crowd! This rising star has been waiting for this stage!

Eric Cartman holds the huddle together! That deceiver leadership on full display!

This total unknown Eric Cartman embraces the pressure! This is what greatness looks like!

Stephen Curry hugs the coach! This elite player with a complete performance!

Stephen Curry does the floss while Warren Buffett spins like a top. LeBron James just stands there, arms crossed. Cool. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'

Matchday 10vs Denver Horse-Track

87-128 (L)

LeBron James takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!

Stephen Curry fades away but the shot rims out! Defense that's basically a suggestion rears its ugly head!

Stephen Curry coughs up the damn ball! Ego the size of Texas strikes again from way beyond the arc!

This world-class player Kevin Durant gives up the offensive rebound! Tendency to force bad shots when boxing out!

Kevin Durant glares at the scoreboard! This certified bucket not happy with the situation!

Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Kevin Durant picks up the pace. Bus driver's confession: Kevin Durant raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.

A half-court heave attempt by LeBron James falls short! Hot head in the legs!

This top-tier talent Stephen Curry can't close out! The legs are shot from the right corner!

Kevin Durant, this walking skyscraper, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted from downtown!

Eric Cartman kicks the air! The frustration of a deceiver who knows they can do better!

This generational talent LeBron James shakes hands and moves on. In the end, occasional mental lapses proved costly.

Stephen Curry is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. Warren Buffett waits at the tunnel entrance. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.

Matchday 11vs New York Over-Timers

98-106 (L)

And we're underway! LeBron James touches the damn ball first! This generational talent looks eager!

The rim rejects Warren Buffett! The rim says no! Even an investor gets rejected sometimes!

Stephen Curry with the lazy pass! Tendency to rush leading to easy points!

Warren Buffett can't contain the drive! Bankrolling the next venture is more containable!

Stephen Curry scores with an off-the-charts basketball IQ. A tear drop at the top of the key! Too smooth!

Halftime. LeBron James throws his towel on the floor walking in. Intel: LeBron James asked New York Over-Timers for their energy drink recipe. They refused. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.

Kevin Durant, this world-class player, refuses to high-five! Ego the size of Texas hurting the chemistry!

An off-balance shot by LeBron James driving to the hoop is way off! Tough night for this first-ballot legend!

Eric Cartman outsmarts the opponent! The brains of a deceiver with their forged papers!

LeBron James, this generational talent, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!

Kevin Durant reflects on what could have been. Injury-prone body the difference tonight.

Stephen Curry's complexion is grey. Warren Buffett's is red. Defeat comes in different colors. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.

Matchday 12vs Cleveland Twin-Towers

110-95 (W)

Tip-off! LeBron James gets us started! Let's go!

LeBron James, this tree of a man, with a silky scoop layup under the basket! Smooth operator!

This max-contract guy Stephen Curry holds ground from the right corner! Immovable object!

Kevin Durant, this elite player, dishes to the hot hand! Smart basketball!

This headliner Stephen Curry recognizes the over-help and punishes it!

Back in the locker room, LeBron James sits down and stares at the ceiling. Exclusive: LeBron James was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.

Eric Cartman with the reverse layup! Creative as a deceiver with the trusting mark!

A crowd fully behind them fills the arena! This guy everybody knows Stephen Curry feeds off the energy!

Kevin Durant finds the open teammate! This certified bucket making everyone better!

Warren Buffett's investor colleagues watch from the stands, the next venture banners held high!

LeBron James can breathe! The win is secured, it's over!

Eric Cartman rips the net off the rim. Stephen Curry wraps it around his neck like a scarf. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'

Matchday 13vs Boston Ring-Chasers

87-131 (L)

LeBron James, this tower, sets the tone immediately! Eyes in the back of the head from the jump!

LeBron James, this oversized freak, wastes a golden chance with a wild and-one!

LeBron James charges right into the defender! Turnover! Sometimes predictable game when controlling pace!

Kevin Durant, this tree of a man, gets exploited in the switch! Tendency to force bad shots exposed in the mismatch!

Eric Cartman mouths off on a strategic timeout! A deceiver venting about the trusting mark!

End of the first act. Stephen Curry is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Small detail: Stephen Curry whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.

Eric Cartman with the contested hook shot under the basket! No good! Bad selection!

Stephen Curry explodes sluggishly! Lack of consistency catching up with this world-class player!

Kevin Durant posts up the leather right to the defense! Costly mistake by this reliable star!

Stephen Curry dunks angrily after the turnover! This max-contract guy spiraling!

Warren Buffett gave it everything! Everything an investor has, left on the court!

Eric Cartman sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. Kevin Durant winces. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.

Matchday 14vs San Antonio Skyscrapers

117-107 (W)

Stephen Curry, this combo guard, announced to huge cheers! A roaring arena!

Kevin Durant dribbles the basketball into a reverse layup! An off-the-charts basketball IQ shining through!

Kevin Durant with the full-court pressure! This certified bucket making them uncomfortable!

Stephen Curry dribbles and creates! Another assist in transition! Quarterback!

LeBron James penetrates to the weak side! This all-time great exploiting the rotation!

Break. Kevin Durant collapses next to the vending machine. Fun fact: Kevin Durant was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!

Warren Buffett catches fire! And it's a hook shot! Eyes in the back of the head taking over!

The building is buzzing! Kevin Durant and a standing ovation creating magic!

LeBron James, this absolute legend, runs the play exactly as drawn! Execution!

This established star Kevin Durant channels the inner champion! A gym-rat work ethic at its peak!

Eric Cartman walks off the floor victorious! A deceiver who conquered it all tonight!

Kevin Durant takes LeBron James by the hand and they bow to the crowd like stage actors. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.

Matchday 15vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest

100-125 (L)

Eric Cartman locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a deceiver who means business!

Stephen Curry, this franchise guy, with the shot-clock heave! No good at the top of the key!

Stephen Curry with the errant pass! This big-name player needs to settle down!

Warren Buffett can't stay in front! Bankrolling the next venture doesn't build lateral quickness!

A thunderous slam by Kevin Durant! The crowd erupts! Iron discipline personified!

Break. Kevin Durant collapses next to the vending machine. Anecdote: Kevin Durant tried to impress the Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.

Stephen Curry slams the rock in frustration! Heavy feet on full display!

Kevin Durant rushes a bank shot at the buzzer! Heavy feet creeping in!

Kevin Durant uses the hesitation dribble! A killer instinct creating separation!

Warren Buffett is running on fumes! The investor tank is completely empty!

Warren Buffett walks off in silence. This certified GOAT candidate gave it all but it wasn't enough.

Stephen Curry snaps at the bench on his way out. Eric Cartman says nothing, but his look says everything. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'

Hjjj ends the season #8 with a 8W-7L record. Season MVP: LeBron James.

🏀
#8
Rank
8W-7L
Record
-39
+/-
343
Team Score
112.3M$
Salary
LeBron James
MVP

Season Journal

Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. Ladies and gentlemen... Hjjj!

There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's LeBron James. Standing at 206 cm, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face.

His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket.

Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Warren Buffett. An investor in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles their portfolio ledger better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Warren Buffett has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the next venture and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning.

The budget? It's "here, take my credit card and go nuts." The owner is a damn billionaire who wants a championship ring the way other people want a yacht. Every position is doubled up, every role player is a former All-Star, and the bench is so deep that the twelfth man on this team would start for half the league. It's an armada, a war machine, and everyone in this building knows that if these guys don't win the title, it's a goddamn scandal.

🏆

Hjjj ends the season #8 with a 8W-7L record. Season MVP: LeBron James.

💬 💬 Comments & Suggestions (0)

💭

No comments yet. Be the first to share your opinion!

Do you like this creation?

Share it with your friends!