BALLAS ā basketball_team š¬š§
5 members Ā· TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | BALLAS | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Denver Horse-Track | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Miami Heart-Attack | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to what is probably going to be the most electric night of this season. The arena is packed to the rafters, there are people standing in the corridors, security gave up trying to control anything, and the DJ is blasting so loud the scoreboard is vibrating. We are here to talk about a legendary franchise. A team that has seen sacred monsters pass through, that has lived through dream seasons and nightmare years, that has rebuilt ten times over and always comes back with the same devouring hunger. Ladies and gentlemen... BALLAS! Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. LaMelo Ball. Just the name sends chills through the building. Standing at 200 cm, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face. I asked a former player what it felt like to guard him. He looked at me with hollow eyes and said: "It's like trying to catch smoke." Smoke, my friends. You think you've got him, you close your hands, and there's nothing there. He's already on the other side of the court drilling a three in your face with a little smirk. The kind of player who makes you want to quit basketball and open a bakery, because at least bread doesn't disappear when you try to touch it. And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Goku. The man is a farmer. A freaking farmer. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with seed dibber and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered. The budget? It's "here, take my credit card and go nuts." The owner is a damn billionaire who wants a championship ring the way other people want a yacht. Every position is doubled up, every role player is a former All-Star, and the bench is so deep that the twelfth man on this team would start for half the league. It's an armada, a war machine, and everyone in this building knows that if these guys don't win the title, it's a goddamn scandal.
Matchday 1 ā vs Detroit Engine-Roar
108-85 (W)
This multi-time All-Star Nikola JokiÄ means business! Fast start under the basket!
Magic Johnson, this titan, takes over off the pick and roll. A devastating dunk! That's elite!
Goku denies the pass! The seed dibber interception skills on full display!
Magic Johnson, this colossus, runs the offense with a gym-rat work ethic! Beautiful passing!
Nikola JokiÄ, this guy everybody knows, manipulates the defense with the eyes! That dawg mentality!
Halftime! Goku walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Confession: Goku believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
Goku goes to work and delivers a pull-up jumper! The seed dibber by day, buckets by night!
The crowd is on its feet! A crowd fully behind them as Saitama takes the court!
Saitama takes the charge for the team! Heart of a superhero, sacrifice of a warrior!
Magic Johnson has found another gear! This guy with rings on every finger shifting into overdrive!
Saitama salutes the fans! A superhero's farewell until the next game!
Magic Johnson points both hands at the sky. Saitama points at Magic Johnson. LaMelo Ball points at the exit. Tonight I learned Magic Johnson used to be a superhero before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 2 ā vs Miami Heart-Attack
118-73 (W)
LaMelo Ball, this established player, draws first blood! A finger roll to start!
Saitama carves through and scores! That's what a superhero does best!
Saitama racks up another assist! Dishing like a superhero who knows where everything goes!
Magic Johnson, this undisputed superstar, sinks a buzzer-beater with surgical precision from way beyond the arc!
LaMelo Ball reads the play and picks off the pass! Transition opportunity!
The players disappear into the tunnel. LaMelo Ball asks for an ice pack. They say LaMelo Ball has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Saitama scores again! When you're a superhero by trade, the basketball is child's play!
LaMelo Ball, this mammoth, is toying with the opposition from the right corner! Dominant!
LaMelo Ball tries the behind-the-back and loses it! This up-and-coming baller too fancy!
Goku blows a kiss to the field house! Love from a farmer who loves the stubborn soil!
Magic Johnson hugs the coach! This global icon with a complete performance!
Nikola JokiÄ does the floss while Saitama spins like a top. Magic Johnson just stands there, arms crossed. Cool. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Matchday 3 ā vs Orlando Magic-Beans
130-86 (W)
The game begins and Nikola JokiÄ is ready! You can see a gym-rat work ethic written all over his face!
LaMelo Ball buries an alley-oop on the low block! This respected competitor is on fire tonight!
This all-time great Magic Johnson exploits the gap! Dime to the corner for a fadeaway jumper!
A buzzer beater from LaMelo Ball! This league veteran is putting on a show tonight!
Goku with a charge taken! The reflexes of a farmer catching the stubborn soil!
Halftime! LaMelo Ball is limping slightly heading off the court. They say LaMelo Ball eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. The locker room empties, the court fills up. Act 2.
Goku applies the same technique to the pill as to the stubborn soil. A pull-up jumper from the right corner!
Goku showboats with a slide across the hardwood! Even the stubborn soil gets a rest in blowouts!
Goku mistakes the Wilson for the stubborn soil and starts cultivating it! Not today!
Nikola JokiÄ fades away and pounds the chest! A salute to the fans! Warrior mentality!
Nikola JokiÄ, this titan, takes the final bow! A hug with the coach! Dominant display!
Magic Johnson does a cartwheel at center court. Goku tries one too and eats it. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Matchday 4 ā vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
127-81 (W)
Game time! LaMelo Ball and this next-level player ready to put on a show at the palace of hoops!
This certified GOAT candidate Magic Johnson with a picture-perfect half-court heave! The crowd goes wild!
Magic Johnson, this guy with rings on every finger, manipulates the defense and drops the dime! An unmatched feel for the game!
Saitama with a deep three! The finesse of their bare hands right there on the venue!
This established star Goku with the volleyball spike a drawn charge! Emphatic!
Cut! Halftime. Saitama's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Little scoop: Saitama logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
This global icon Magic Johnson converts on the low block! A half-court heave right on cue!
Magic Johnson, this mountain of a man, makes it look like practice! Total domination!
This big-name player Nikola JokiÄ tries the no-look and passes to the camera crew!
Goku flexes like they just finished cultivating the stubborn soil! What a moment!
Saitama exits to a standing ovation! The superhero with their bare hands earns it!
Magic Johnson takes LaMelo Ball by the hand and they bow to the crowd like stage actors. Tonight I learned Magic Johnson used to be a superhero before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Matchday 5 ā vs Phoenix No-Defense
129-84 (W)
Saitama huddles with the team! Huddling up, the superhero strategizes!
Goku drains it! Emptying the tank like a farmer on double shift!
Goku, this guy everybody knows, sets the table facing the rim! Assist master!
Saitama with the decisive step-back three! An off-the-charts basketball IQ when it matters most!
Magic Johnson shuts the door under the basket! That's how you play defense!
Halftime! Magic Johnson walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Staff confession: Magic Johnson is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
Goku, this solid build, glides driving to the hoop for a silky off-balance shot!
Saitama stat-pads without shame! Filling the box score like a resume!
Saitama tried to fix the scoreboard with their bare hands! Helpful but unnecessary!
Saitama, this total unknown, with the signature ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! The fans love it!
Saitama puts a bow on it! Clean finish, just like a superhero wrapping up the job!
Goku points both hands at the sky. Saitama points at Goku. Nikola JokiÄ points at the exit. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
Matchday 6 ā vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
119-81 (W)
This generational talent Magic Johnson catches the pill early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
This basketball god Magic Johnson punishes the defense with a reverse layup on the low block!
Nikola JokiÄ with the no-look pass! This jersey-selling name has eyes in the back of the head!
Nikola JokiÄ drives the leather with that dawg mentality. And it drops! Nothing you can do!
Saitama stays in front! Mirroring every move like a seasoned superhero!
Rest. Goku buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Exclusive info: Goku is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Saitama finishes through contact! Built tough from handling their bare hands!
Nikola JokiÄ, this big fella, has the opposition calling for mercy back to the basket!
Magic Johnson trips over the leather! Even this franchise cornerstone has those moments!
Goku hugs teammates! Same warmth they bring to cultivating the stubborn soil!
This legit talent LaMelo Ball walks off to a standing ovation! Wild stands! Incredible!
Saitama dumps his Gatorade on Magic Johnson who screams because it was cold. LaMelo Ball piles on. I got a text from Saitama after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 7 ā vs Toronto Border-Patrol
117-79 (W)
LaMelo Ball, this big fella, takes the court! The incredible energy is electric!
Saitama with an off-balance shot to seal the deal! A superhero who always closes!
Magic Johnson, this 7-footer, finds the rolling big man! A devastating dunk off the assist!
Nikola JokiÄ explodes the leather beautifully for a bank shot! What touch!
Saitama smothers the ball handler! That's a superhero who doesn't let go!
End of the second quarter. Goku is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Little secret: Goku has a secret TikTok account with 12 followers. Posts cooking tutorials. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
Magic Johnson, this walking skyscraper, elevates for a monster and-one!
Goku and the starters head to the bench! Job done, game over!
This global icon Magic Johnson passes to the opponent! Gift exchange driving to the hoop!
Magic Johnson with the emphatic finger to the lips to hush the crowd! This first-ballot legend letting everyone know!
Nikola JokiÄ, this towering presence, salutes the faithful! A victory dance! What a night!
LaMelo Ball mimes popping a champagne bottle. Saitama mimes chugging straight from it. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 8 ā vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
110-94 (W)
Magic Johnson rises up onto the floor! The crowd roars for this potential GOAT!
LaMelo Ball, this legit talent, drops an and-one from way beyond the arc! Pure artistry!
This guy everybody knows Nikola JokiÄ with the no-foul contest under the basket! Clean as a whistle!
Magic Johnson posts up and creates! Another assist at half court! Quarterback!
Magic Johnson fires away the ball out of the trap! Nerves of steel under pressure!
Halftime whistle. Goku flops into the first available chair. Did you know? Goku launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
LaMelo Ball converts a tough double-clutch layup at the buzzer! Skill level: elite!
Nikola JokiÄ, this oversized freak, basks in a sold-out gym on fire! This is home!
Goku chains the plays together! Stringing them like a farmer on a roll!
This basketball god Magic Johnson with a performance for the ages! A play worth its weight in gold chapter!
Goku daps up the opposition! Class act, on and off the court!
LaMelo Ball and Saitama do the conga. Alone. On an empty court. Nobody joins in. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 9 ā vs Houston Blast-Off
109-95 (W)
This legit talent LaMelo Ball opens the scoring! A double-clutch layup! Early advantage!
LaMelo Ball blows past to the rack for a buzzer beater! Can't contain this beanpole!
Goku, this max-contract guy, bodied up and forced the turnover! Physical defense!
Goku, this solid build, drops the dime! Freakish explosiveness passing on display!
Nikola JokiÄ reads the defense perfectly! Night-in night-out consistency and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Both teams head to the locker room. LaMelo Ball wipes his forehead with his jersey. Fun fact: LaMelo Ball tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
LaMelo Ball pulls up past everyone for a bank shot! This walking skyscraper on a mission!
Standing room only! Wild stands as Nikola JokiÄ takes over under the basket!
Magic Johnson, this absolute legend, runs the play exactly as drawn! Execution!
From the workshop to the floor, Goku brings precision worthy of the seed dibber!
Goku celebrates at the final buzzer! Celebration worthy of the seed dibber!
Magic Johnson makes the phone sign toward the opposing bench. Goku makes the 'call us' gesture. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Matchday 10 ā vs Denver Horse-Track
124-99 (W)
LaMelo Ball looks dialed in from the start! Insane court vision preparation showing!
Saitama knocks down a step-back three from way beyond the arc! Ice in the veins!
Magic Johnson with the help-side surgical steal! This hall-of-fame lock always in position!
LaMelo Ball fires away and dishes! Gorgeous feed in the paint! That dawg mentality!
Goku slows the pace when the team needs it! This big-name player tempo control!
Buzzer sounds, halftime! Nikola JokiÄ walks head down toward the tunnel. Confession: Nikola JokiÄ tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. We're back! The players look fired up.
LaMelo Ball drives and it's a fadeaway jumper! This name that's buzzing proving the doubters wrong!
Nikola JokiÄ, this oversized freak, commands a roaring arena! The arena belongs to this All-Star caliber talent!
LaMelo Ball, this league veteran, communicates the switch! Eyes in the back of the head and vocal leadership!
Saitama is writing the story tonight! This guy nobody was talking about with a finger roll from the left corner!
Saitama seals the win! Sealed tight, the superhero gets it done!
LaMelo Ball and Magic Johnson freestyle a victory rap. Saitama does the beatbox. It's terrible but magnificent. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 11 ā vs New York Over-Timers
107-111 (L)
This world-class player Nikola JokiÄ comes out firing! A buzzer-beater in the first minute!
A deep three from Nikola JokiÄ! This certified bucket reminding everyone why they're on top!
This certified bucket Nikola JokiÄ caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Saitama misfires back to the basket! Even this dude out of nowhere has off nights!
Goku chips away at the lead! Chipping away with farmer persistence!
Coach calls everyone back. Magic Johnson drags his feet toward the tunnel. Little scoop: Magic Johnson logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
LaMelo Ball throws it away with the game on the line! Ego the size of Texas!
Goku buries their face! Hidden from view, the farmer can't watch!
Saitama becomes the symbol of this long-awaited duel, a superhero defying all the odds!
This top-tier talent Nikola JokiÄ misses the free throws! Ego the size of Texas at the line!
Magic Johnson walks off in silence. This all-time great gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Magic Johnson leaves the court at a jog. Goku stays there, planted at center court, motionless. Behind the scenes, I learned Goku was also a superhero in a past life. You can feel it in the game. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 12 ā vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
120-93 (W)
LaMelo Ball takes off with energy from the opening whistle! This seasoned vet locked in!
Nikola JokiÄ drains a bucket from way beyond the arc! Textbook eyes in the back of the head!
Saitama, this hungry young player, clamps down on the star player! An unmatched feel for the game on the assignment!
Nikola JokiÄ penetrates the Spalding through traffic! What a pass by this world-class player!
Saitama with the decoy run! Diverting attention, classic superhero misdirection!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Magic Johnson asks for an ice pack. Small detail: Magic Johnson wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
Magic Johnson scores at will! A deep three from the left corner! This all-time great domination!
Goku signs a kid's the stubborn soil! The farmer meets the next generation!
This guy nobody was talking about Saitama celebrates the teammate's score! It's about the team!
Saitama embodies the spirit of every superhero who ever dreamed of a sky hook!
Saitama wraps up with a double-double! Double duty: their bare hands and the basketball!
Nikola JokiÄ moonwalks across the hardwood. LaMelo Ball attempts the worm. One of them pulls it off. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. And now, a brand new episode of 'Desperately Seeking My Cat.' Good night, everyone.
Matchday 13 ā vs Boston Ring-Chasers
105-90 (W)
Saitama, this all-around player, sets the tone immediately! Scary good handles from the jump!
LaMelo Ball scores with an unmatched feel for the game. A reverse layup on the low block! Too smooth!
LaMelo Ball with the huge commanding rebound driving to the hoop! This league veteran says no!
Nikola JokiÄ threads the needle! Beautiful assist at half court! Unreal court vision!
Saitama spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
Halftime! Magic Johnson walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Anecdote: Magic Johnson fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Nikola JokiÄ, this jersey-selling name, operates back to the basket with a finger roll! Clinic!
The arena buzzes for Goku! A farmer who electrifies wherever they go!
Goku sprints back on defense! This world-class player leading by example!
From humble the game beginnings, Saitama rises at the temple of basketball!
Saitama finishes with a monster stat line! Numbers a superhero would be proud of!
Saitama rips off his jersey and launches it into the crowd. Goku does the same. The coach rolls his eyes. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 14 ā vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
109-99 (W)
Magic Johnson fires up the crowd to open the game! This undisputed superstar starting strong!
Goku converts along the baseline! A deep three with trademark silky smooth technique!
LaMelo Ball forces the step-out-of-bounds! This player making noise hawking the ball!
Magic Johnson, this mammoth, delivers the entry pass! Beautiful feed into the post!
Magic Johnson, this oversized freak, seals the defender for position! Fundamentals!
The players head to the locker room. Goku is sweating like a racehorse. Physio's confession: Goku purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
Goku blows past with the precision of a farmer at work. And it's a bucket!
Nikola JokiÄ, this colossus, gets the standing ovation! A sold-out gym on fire!
Magic Johnson finds the open teammate! This once-in-a-lifetime player making everyone better!
The transformation of Saitama is complete! This hidden prospect has arrived!
LaMelo Ball, this player on the come-up, high-fives the bench! A chest bump! Team effort!
LaMelo Ball blows a kiss to the camera. Saitama blows twelve. Goku blocks the lens. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Saitama. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Matchday 15 ā vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
109-110 (L)
And we're underway! Nikola JokiÄ touches the ball first! This big-name player looks eager!
LaMelo Ball, this dude putting the league on notice, knifes through for an off-balance shot back to the basket! Wow!
Saitama gets blown by! Even a superhero couldn't stop that!
Saitama misses the open look! A superhero never misses the game... But misses the Wilson!
Saitama with back-to-back scores! The superhero assembly line of their bare hands!
Back to the locker room. Nikola JokiÄ's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Did you know Nikola JokiÄ keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
Nikola JokiÄ dribbles into a dead end! Occasional mental lapses in late-game situations!
Nikola JokiÄ, this mammoth, waves off the play call! Hot head hurting the team!
Goku blows past like a player possessed! Silky smooth technique unleashed!
Magic Johnson turns it over in the dying seconds! This all-time great crumbles under pressure!
Saitama blows past to the tunnel in disappointment. This dude out of nowhere will learn from this.
LaMelo Ball mutters while walking out. Nikola JokiÄ watches from the corner of his eye, worried. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
BALLAS finishes #2, a fantastic season! 13W-2L. Season MVP: LaMelo Ball.
Season Journal
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to what is probably going to be the most electric night of this season. The arena is packed to the rafters, there are people standing in the corridors, security gave up trying to control anything, and the DJ is blasting so loud the scoreboard is vibrating. We are here to talk about a legendary franchise. A team that has seen sacred monsters pass through, that has lived through dream seasons and nightmare years, that has rebuilt ten times over and always comes back with the same devouring hunger. Ladies and gentlemen... BALLAS!
Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. LaMelo Ball. Just the name sends chills through the building. Standing at 200 cm, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face.
I asked a former player what it felt like to guard him. He looked at me with hollow eyes and said: "It's like trying to catch smoke." Smoke, my friends. You think you've got him, you close your hands, and there's nothing there. He's already on the other side of the court drilling a three in your face with a little smirk. The kind of player who makes you want to quit basketball and open a bakery, because at least bread doesn't disappear when you try to touch it.
And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Goku. The man is a farmer. A freaking farmer. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with seed dibber and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered.
The budget? It's "here, take my credit card and go nuts." The owner is a damn billionaire who wants a championship ring the way other people want a yacht. Every position is doubled up, every role player is a former All-Star, and the bench is so deep that the twelfth man on this team would start for half the league. It's an armada, a war machine, and everyone in this building knows that if these guys don't win the title, it's a goddamn scandal.
BALLAS finishes #2, a fantastic season! 13W-2L. Season MVP: LaMelo Ball.
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