My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 8 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 9 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | My Team | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 11 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Miami Heart-Attack | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Houston Blast-Off | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 3 | 12 | 6 |
Pre-season
Holy shit, the arena is erupting and the game hasn't even started. There are 20,000 absolute maniacs on their feet chanting the name of a franchise with more scars than a retired boxer. Seasons of domination, seasons of total demolition, insane 3 AM trades, Draft picks that smelled like either genius or pure madness, nobody knew at the time, and honestly sometimes we still don't. But tonight, all of that is behind us. Tonight is the present, and the present reeks of adrenaline and revenge. The team with no name, baby! Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's Gheorghe Mureșan. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 231 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly. His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket. And because this season couldn't possibly be normal, the coach went out and signed Albert Einstein. The man. Is. An inventor. I'm going to let that marinate for two seconds. An inventor. On a professional basketball court. With guys who jump 3 feet off the ground. This dude jumps 6 inches, on a good day, with a running start and the wind at his back. But he's got their prototype sketch and apparently, the technical motion of an inventor and a pull-up jumper are "basically the same thing, give or take 90 degrees." That's what the coach said. The team doctor immediately requested a cognitive evaluation for the coach. Budget-wise, they're playing by the rules. Barely. It's clean, but it's tight. You've got one modest star, two or three decent role players, and after that... It's a black hole on the bench. They're trying to build smart without going broke, but every time a player asks for a raise, they start sweating. This is the definition of a "middle of the pack" squad.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
104-106 (L)
George IV of the United Kingdom takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Joe Biden posts up through traffic and scores! Incredible finish!
George IV of the United Kingdom gets burned on the switch! Hotter than a patron of the arts's worst day on the job!
Albert Einstein, this living legend, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
Gheorghe Mureșan, this absolute unit, energizes the crowd! A sold-out gym on fire! Comeback vibes!
Halftime. The physio pounces on Gheorghe Mureșan to massage his thighs. Did you know? Gheorghe Mureșan tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
This generational talent Joe Biden with the clutch-time breakdown! Shaky emotions under pressure on full display!
Joe Biden argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to challenging the young scholars!
The legend of Albert Einstein grows! This basketball god adding another chapter in the paint!
Albert Einstein with the ill-advised pass in the extra period! Intercepted!
Gheorghe Mureșan had chances but couldn't convert. This guy with a proven track record left wanting.
George IV of the United Kingdom sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Joe Biden puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. Behind the scenes, I learned Joe Biden was also a patron of the arts in a past life. You can feel it in the game. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
99-106 (L)
Martin Luther King Jr. Huddles with the team! Huddling up, the civil rights activist strategizes!
George IV of the United Kingdom takes a tough buzzer beater and it doesn't go! Ego the size of Texas in shot selection!
This established player Gheorghe Mureșan with careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
Gheorghe Mureșan gets burned on the drive! Injury-prone body in lateral movement!
Joe Biden pulls up and drills a half-court heave! Can't teach that!
Halftime! Martin Luther King Jr. Has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Fun fact: Martin Luther King Jr. Blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Albert Einstein tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the inventor will bounce back!
That one wasn't even close, Martin Luther King Jr.! Stick to competing the game!
Albert Einstein shoots with purpose every possession! This hall-of-fame lock chess master!
George IV of the United Kingdom is gassed! More tired than after a full day of competing the game!
This established player Gheorghe Mureșan leaves venue with head held high. Fought to the end.
Joe Biden snaps at the bench on his way out. Albert Einstein says nothing, but his look says everything. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
96-117 (L)
Martin Luther King Jr. Dribbles onto the floor! The crowd roars for this absolute legend!
Albert Einstein fires and misses driving to the hoop. Should have stuck with the status quo!
Martin Luther King Jr. With the travel! Footwork confusion worthy of a lost civil rights activist!
George IV of the United Kingdom gives up the easy bucket! Easier than competing the game!
A layup from Albert Einstein! That's freakish explosiveness at the highest level!
Halftime! Joe Biden looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Small detail: Joe Biden wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
Martin Luther King Jr. Dishes away from the huddle! This hall-of-fame lock in a dark place mentally!
Albert Einstein bricks another one! Building something awful with their prototype sketch tonight!
Albert Einstein creates the switch! Smooth adjustment, inventor-level thinking!
Martin Luther King Jr. Asks for ice! Cooling down, even a civil rights activist's engine needs a rest!
Albert Einstein shakes hands through the pain! An inventor who respects their prototype sketch and the game!
Joe Biden hurls his water bottle at the wall. George IV of the United Kingdom flinches but doesn't react. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
96-112 (L)
This once-in-a-lifetime player Martin Luther King Jr. Catches the ball early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Martin Luther King Jr. Misfires off the pick and roll! Even this household name has off nights!
Albert Einstein botches the handoff! Even their prototype sketch exchanges go smoother!
Joe Biden gets crossed over! Ankles broken like the young scholars on a rough day!
Albert Einstein attacks and scores! Those inventor hands work wonders with the basketball!
Back in the locker room, Albert Einstein sits down and stares at the ceiling. Fun fact: Albert Einstein is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Albert Einstein storms to the bench! This certified GOAT candidate is visibly upset!
Gheorghe Mureșan, this colossus, can't finish back to the basket! That one stings!
Gheorghe Mureșan goes to work into the right spacing! Next-level basketball IQ and elite court awareness!
George IV of the United Kingdom soldiers on! The soldier who competes the game with their bare hands!
Albert Einstein walks the tunnel in silence! Done for the night, back to inventor life tomorrow!
Albert Einstein refuses Philadelphia Injury-Report's handshake. Gheorghe Mureșan offers limp one with just his fingertips. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
116-99 (W)
This league veteran Gheorghe Mureșan opens scoring! A euro-step! Early advantage!
Joe Biden treats the leather like the young scholars and sinks it. Easy as pie for a university professor!
Joe Biden times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A defensive rebound at the top of the key!
Albert Einstein drops the dime! An inventor with court vision like that? Unreal!
Martin Luther King Jr. Reads the defense like a book! Perfect play call from this civil rights activist!
Halftime! Albert Einstein has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Bus driver's confession: Albert Einstein raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
Martin Luther King Jr. Muscles through for a devastating dunk! The strength of a civil rights activist moving the game!
An electric crowd is electric when Joe Biden has the basketball! A university professor charging the room!
Martin Luther King Jr., this pint-sized baller, sets the perfect screen! Freakish explosiveness for the team!
The university professor identity fuels Joe Biden. Their lecture notes taught them everything about pressure!
George IV of the United Kingdom salutes the fans! A patron of the arts's farewell until the next game!
Gheorghe Mureșan takes Albert Einstein by the hand and they bow to the crowd like stage actors. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
119-104 (W)
This well-respected player Gheorghe Mureșan comes out aggressive! Opens with a fadeaway jumper under the basket!
George IV of the United Kingdom finishes with style! Years of competing the game built those hands!
George IV of the United Kingdom anchors the defense! Solid as a patron of the arts's foundation!
Albert Einstein with the skip pass! Skipping over the defense, pure inventor vision!
Martin Luther King Jr. Posts up to the weak side! This once-in-a-lifetime player exploiting the rotation!
Halftime whistle. George IV of the United Kingdom high-fives his teammates on the way out. Fun fact: George IV of the United Kingdom tried to patent a celebration after a three-pointer. The application was rejected. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
Joe Biden with the smooth buzzer-beater! This global icon making it look easy!
Standing room only! Wild stands as George IV of the United Kingdom takes over from way beyond the arc!
Albert Einstein glues the team together! Team-first mentality, pure inventor instinct!
The story of Martin Luther King Jr.: a civil rights activist by morning, a baller by night. The game would be proud!
Albert Einstein can breathe! The win is secured, it's over!
Martin Luther King Jr. Grabs the arena mic and screams. Just a scream. Joe Biden applauds. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
111-92 (W)
Game time! Joe Biden and this absolute legend ready to put on a show at the arena!
Martin Luther King Jr., this pint-sized baller, posts up and delivers a deep three! Textbook!
Gheorghe Mureșan rotates perfectly for the rebound in traffic! An unmatched feel for the game on full display!
This respected competitor Gheorghe Mureșan with wraparound pass! How did that get through!
Gheorghe Mureșan identifies soft spot in the zone! This guy with a proven track record surgical precision!
Halftime whistle! George IV of the United Kingdom slides down against the hallway wall. Anecdote: George IV of the United Kingdom once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
George IV of the United Kingdom tallies another one! This patron of the arts keeps racking them up!
The crowd collectively holds its breath for Albert Einstein's shot! You could hear a pin drop!
George IV of the United Kingdom rallies everyone! The rally of a patron of the arts rallying around the game!
Joe Biden channels their inner university professor,challenging the young scholars made these hands!
Joe Biden, this hall-of-fame lock, embraces the teammates! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! Sweet victory!
Gheorghe Mureșan and Albert Einstein freestyle a victory rap. George IV of the United Kingdom does the beatbox. It's terrible but magnificent. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
81-111 (L)
Tip-off! Albert Einstein gets us started! Let's go!
Joe Biden rattles it out! Shaking the court with their lecture notes intensity!
Albert Einstein loses the leather! An inventor would never be this careless!
Joe Biden can't stay in front! Challenging the young scholars doesn't build lateral quickness!
George IV of the United Kingdom can't hide the frustration! Their bare hands frustration meets the ball frustration!
The players head in. Gheorghe Mureșan slips on the wet tunnel floor. Did you know Gheorghe Mureșan started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Gheorghe Mureșan rushes half-court heave at the buzzer! Occasional mental lapses creeping in!
Albert Einstein is gassed! This undisputed superstar bent over at half court! Hot head catching up!
George IV of the United Kingdom with a wild pass that sails out! This guy with rings on every finger giving it away!
Martin Luther King Jr. Stares in disbelief! The look of a civil rights activist who just lost everything!
This league veteran Gheorghe Mureșan tips hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Joe Biden scratches the back of his neck nervously. Albert Einstein has the look of someone who has seen things. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
124-100 (W)
Joe Biden sets the tone early! The university professor came to play tonight!
Joe Biden shoots the leather beautifully for a reverse layup! What touch!
Martin Luther King Jr. With a textbook defensive stance! That's how you do it!
Gheorghe Mureșan reads defense like a book! Assist under the basket! Next-level basketball IQ!
Joe Biden sets up the play three passes ahead! Three moves ahead, like a university professor at work!
Halftime. The doctor examines George IV of the United Kingdom's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Rumor has it George IV of the United Kingdom tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Joe Biden, this smooth operator, overpowers for a double-clutch layup! Size matters!
A Playoff atmosphere as Gheorghe Mureșan, this tree of a man, is introduced! Goosebumps!
Albert Einstein brings energy off the bench! This certified GOAT candidate infectious enthusiasm!
The transformation of Martin Luther King Jr. Is complete! This absolute legend has arrived!
This well-respected player Gheorghe Mureșan secures win with an unmatched feel for the game! Another one in the bag!
Albert Einstein cries tears of joy in George IV of the United Kingdom's arms. Gheorghe Mureșan is also crying but nobody knows why. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
111-107 (W)
Joe Biden begins their shift on the arena! A university professor starting the their lecture notes shift!
This respected competitor Gheorghe Mureșan with volleyball spike a crucial offensive board! Emphatic!
Albert Einstein whiffs on the jumper! An inventor off their game with their prototype sketch!
Martin Luther King Jr. Banks a floater off the glass! Geometry learned from the civil rights activist life!
Joe Biden, this smooth operator, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!
Halftime. Albert Einstein's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Small detail: Albert Einstein whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
George IV of the United Kingdom refuses to lose! A patron of the arts who never accepts failure!
Gheorghe Mureșan forces step-out-of-bounds! This solid pro hawking the ball!
Gheorghe Mureșan, this towering presence, basks in a sold-out gym on fire! This is home!
Joe Biden, this do-it-all player, scores the go-ahead! A sky hook! Heart of a champion!
Martin Luther King Jr. With the game ball! Earned it the hard way, civil rights activist style!
Martin Luther King Jr. And George IV of the United Kingdom freestyle a victory rap. Albert Einstein does the beatbox. It's terrible but magnificent. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
100-118 (L)
The game begins and George IV of the United Kingdom is ready! You can see insane court vision written all over his face!
George IV of the United Kingdom fires a double-clutch layup from the left corner but can't connect! Occasional mental lapses showing!
George IV of the United Kingdom gets picked! A patron of the arts getting the game stolen in broad daylight!
Gheorghe Mureșan gives up the back door! Tendency to force bad shots when overplaying!
Martin Luther King Jr. Goes baseline and scores! The game prepared them for this moment!
Halftime! Joe Biden checks his stats on the board and winces. Juicy intel: Joe Biden turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
Martin Luther King Jr. Looks to the heavens! A civil rights activist praying for their bare hands to work!
Gheorghe Mureșan with off-balance a free throw! This name that's buzzing couldn't set the feet!
Albert Einstein outsmarts the opponent! The brains of an inventor with their prototype sketch!
Albert Einstein explodes a step slower than usual! Occasional mental lapses in the tank!
Albert Einstein walks off in defeat! Even an inventor's skills couldn't save tonight!
Albert Einstein chews his nails on the bench. Martin Luther King Jr. Stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
98-110 (L)
This respected competitor Gheorghe Mureșan in starting lineup! Let's see what this respected competitor brings!
An alley-oop from Martin Luther King Jr. Sails wide! This household name needs to regroup!
Joe Biden throws it into the stands! What was that from this first-ballot legend!
Gheorghe Mureșan gambles for the steal and pays the price! Tendency to rush!
This respected competitor Gheorghe Mureșan finishes with authority! A layup along the baseline!
End of the first half. George IV of the United Kingdom is beet red but still standing. Little scoop: George IV of the United Kingdom logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
Albert Einstein storms to the bench! Heated! This inventor doesn't handle losing well!
Martin Luther King Jr. Gets blocked! Rejected harder than a civil rights activist's worst day on the job!
Joe Biden sets the screen at the perfect angle! This certified GOAT candidate cerebral play!
Albert Einstein gulps water! As thirsty as an inventor reaching for the status quo!
Joe Biden leaves the floor with dignity! The dignity of a university professor with their lecture notes!
Gheorghe Mureșan collapses into the first available chair. Albert Einstein stays standing, eyes glazed over. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Gheorghe Mureșan's name. Forgive me. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
95-123 (L)
This all-time great Albert Einstein gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Joe Biden, this solid build, wastes a golden chance with a wild and-one!
Martin Luther King Jr. With the errant pass! This potential GOAT needs to settle down!
Joe Biden gets blown by! Even a university professor couldn't stop that!
Joe Biden with the and-one free throw! Scary good handles through the whistle!
Halftime whistle. Gheorghe Mureșan spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Exclusive info: Gheorghe Mureșan is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
Joe Biden slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a university professor hits the workbench!
Albert Einstein blows past but the shot rims out! Limited stamina rears its ugly head!
This first-ballot legend Martin Luther King Jr. Sets the back screen! An off-the-charts basketball IQ off-ball contribution!
Martin Luther King Jr. Stumbles on the play! Stumbling like a civil rights activist over the game!
This established player Gheorghe Mureșan shakes hands and moves on. In the end, limited stamina proved costly.
Albert Einstein's face is locked shut, zero emotion. George IV of the United Kingdom hides his eyes under a towel. Tonight I had a revelation: George IV of the United Kingdom runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
77-114 (L)
Martin Luther King Jr. Steps onto the floor! From competing the game to this, game time!
Gheorghe Mureșan, this well-respected player, comes up empty! A pull-up jumper off target at half court!
George IV of the United Kingdom commits the live-ball turnover! Their bare hands would be ashamed!
Joe Biden gets posted up and scored on! This generational talent overpowered!
Martin Luther King Jr. Sits on the bench for a moment! Resting like a civil rights activist after a long shift!
Halftime! George IV of the United Kingdom is limping slightly heading off the court. Confession: George IV of the United Kingdom believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Albert Einstein misses! Even an inventor can't fix that shot!
This basketball god George IV of the United Kingdom stumbles! The fatigue is real after the allotted time!
Gheorghe Mureșan posts up into a trap! Shaky emotions under pressure when reading the defense!
Gheorghe Mureșan, this solid pro, refuses to high-five! Injury-prone body hurting the chemistry!
Martin Luther King Jr. Vows to come back stronger! Stronger than their bare hands reinforced with the game!
Albert Einstein snaps at the bench on his way out. Martin Luther King Jr. Says nothing, but his look says everything. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
99-116 (L)
The gym welcomes Joe Biden! The university professor with the young scholars has arrived!
George IV of the United Kingdom penetrates the Spalding awkwardly! The touch just isn't there for this certified GOAT candidate!
Gheorghe Mureșan tries to be too fancy and loses the basketball! Defense that's basically a suggestion in the decision-making!
Joe Biden, this tweener, gets blown by on the perimeter! Tendency to force bad shots in the legs!
Gheorghe Mureșan drains and-one facing the rim! Textbook insane court vision!
The locker room fills up. George IV of the United Kingdom has already eaten three oranges. Anecdote: George IV of the United Kingdom lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Martin Luther King Jr., this low-to-the-ground speedster, throws the hands up! Exasperated along the baseline!
Martin Luther King Jr. Off the back iron! Hard miss, even a civil rights activist cringes at that!
George IV of the United Kingdom schemes with the coaching staff! Plotting the next move, true patron of the arts!
Martin Luther King Jr. Looks to the bench for relief! Relief like a civil rights activist relieved of their bare hands!
George IV of the United Kingdom dunks to the tunnel in disappointment. This generational talent will learn from this.
George IV of the United Kingdom punches his locker when he gets to the locker room. Albert Einstein slides down the wall to the floor. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
My Team ends the season #10 with a 5W-10L record. Season MVP: Gheorghe Mureșan.
Season Journal
Holy shit, the arena is erupting and the game hasn't even started. There are 20,000 absolute maniacs on their feet chanting the name of a franchise with more scars than a retired boxer. Seasons of domination, seasons of total demolition, insane 3 AM trades, Draft picks that smelled like either genius or pure madness, nobody knew at the time, and honestly sometimes we still don't. But tonight, all of that is behind us. Tonight is the present, and the present reeks of adrenaline and revenge. The team with no name, baby!
Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's Gheorghe Mureșan. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 231 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly.
His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket.
And because this season couldn't possibly be normal, the coach went out and signed Albert Einstein. The man. Is. An inventor. I'm going to let that marinate for two seconds. An inventor. On a professional basketball court. With guys who jump 3 feet off the ground. This dude jumps 6 inches, on a good day, with a running start and the wind at his back. But he's got their prototype sketch and apparently, the technical motion of an inventor and a pull-up jumper are "basically the same thing, give or take 90 degrees." That's what the coach said. The team doctor immediately requested a cognitive evaluation for the coach.
Budget-wise, they're playing by the rules. Barely. It's clean, but it's tight. You've got one modest star, two or three decent role players, and after that... It's a black hole on the bench. They're trying to build smart without going broke, but every time a player asks for a raise, they start sweating. This is the definition of a "middle of the pack" squad.
My Team ends the season #10 with a 5W-10L record. Season MVP: Gheorghe Mureșan.
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