Yeah — basketball_team 🇦🇺
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Yeah | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Denver Horse-Track | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. Ladies and gentlemen... Yeah! Listen, I've watched hundreds of players come and go in my broadcasting career, but LeBron James is something else entirely. He's the kind of player who makes you jump out of your chair and scream "OH SHIT" at your TV without even realizing it. Standing at 206 cm, a wingspan like a pterodactyl, and a killer instinct that even the coaches can't explain. This man feels the game. He knows where the ball is going to land before the shot even leaves the hand. He reads passes like he's reading minds. At this level, it's not basketball anymore, it's straight-up sorcery. What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch. Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's John Wilkes Booth. A theater actor in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles bare hands better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. John Wilkes Booth has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the game and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning. Let's address the elephant in the room: the budget is OBSCENE. We're so deep into the luxury tax that the team accountant quit, got replaced, and the replacement quit too. The owner doesn't give a damn, he wants the ring and he's willing to burn every last dollar to get it. The result? An absolute dream roster. Every name on this lineup card sends shivers down opponents' spines. It's like playing NBA 2K with the sliders maxed out. It's almost unfair. And tonight, it probably will be.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
89-134 (L)
This undisputed superstar LeBron James comes out aggressive! Opens with a finger roll from mid-range!
A deep three from Michael Jordan goes in and out! Heartbreaking at the buzzer!
Michael Jordan throws it away! Sometimes predictable game under pressure on the low block!
This absolute legend Michael Jordan commits the and-one foul! Defense that's basically a suggestion in positioning!
John Wilkes Booth is visibly upset! Upset as a theater actor when the game goes sideways!
Halftime whistle. Michael Jordan flops into the first available chair. Anecdote: Michael Jordan once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Brick! Stephen Curry misfires from the right corner! Occasional mental lapses at the worst time!
Abraham Lincoln cramps up! Muscles tight from the seed dibber and the orange double duty!
Abraham Lincoln coughs it up! A farmer's grip doesn't work on the basketball!
John Wilkes Booth drops their shoulders! Deflated, even a theater actor's spirit has limits!
LeBron James pulls up to the tunnel in disappointment. This all-time great will learn from this.
Stephen Curry's complexion is grey. LeBron James's is red. Defeat comes in different colors. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
108-100 (W)
Tip-off! John Wilkes Booth gets us started! Let's go!
Abraham Lincoln scores a half-court heave! The seed dibber by day, buckets by night!
This All-Star caliber talent John Wilkes Booth disrupts the play with a timely monster swat!
John Wilkes Booth finds the open teammate! Vision of a theater actor spotting the game!
John Wilkes Booth adjusts the matchup! Finding the right fit, the theater actor approach!
Back to the locker room. Abraham Lincoln's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Little scoop: Abraham Lincoln collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
John Wilkes Booth banks it on the low block! A theater actor's steady hand at work!
Michael Jordan, this beanpole, commands a cathedral silence! The arena belongs to this certified GOAT candidate!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Michael Jordan unites the locker room! Pure God-given talent captain's mentality!
Stephen Curry, this tweener, is on a mission! Nothing can stop this established star right now!
Abraham Lincoln gets the post-game interview! 'It's like cultivating the stubborn soil,' they say!
LeBron James and Abraham Lincoln fake a wrestling match. John Wilkes Booth plays the referee and calls a timeout. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Abraham Lincoln. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
92-113 (L)
LeBron James, this once-in-a-lifetime player, embraces the crowd fully behind them! Game on!
Abraham Lincoln whiffs on the jumper! A farmer off their game with the seed dibber!
John Wilkes Booth, this versatile guy, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted on the low block!
This all-time great Abraham Lincoln gives up the offensive rebound! Hot head when boxing out!
Stephen Curry, this max-contract guy, drills another double-clutch layup facing the rim! Automatic!
Halftime. The physio pounces on Abraham Lincoln to massage his thighs. Fun fact: Abraham Lincoln tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
LeBron James goes to work and kicks the stanchion! This certified GOAT candidate losing composure!
This undisputed superstar Michael Jordan misses the mark! A tear drop goes begging from way beyond the arc!
Michael Jordan, this oversized freak, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! Insane court vision!
LeBron James shoots but can't sustain the effort! Defense that's basically a suggestion emptying the tank!
This all-time great Michael Jordan stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this all-time great wanted.
LeBron James walks like someone carrying the weight of the world. Stephen Curry drags one foot after the other. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
100-106 (L)
Abraham Lincoln, this absolute legend, draws first blood! A double-clutch layup to start!
A pull-up jumper from Stephen Curry sails wide! This headliner needs to regroup!
Stephen Curry coughs up the ball! Tendency to force bad shots strikes again from way beyond the arc!
Abraham Lincoln watches them score! Just watching, like watching the seed dibber gather dust!
LeBron James, this living legend, operates from downtown with a bucket! Clinic!
The players disappear. Abraham Lincoln has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Staff confession: Abraham Lincoln is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
This world-class player Stephen Curry shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Stephen Curry posts up and fires but misses everything! Ego the size of Texas tonight!
Abraham Lincoln pushes the pace in transition! A gym-rat work ethic showing in every play!
Stephen Curry grabs the shorts! This established star is running on fumes!
John Wilkes Booth packs up and heads out! Packing their bare hands, unpacking emotions!
Michael Jordan snaps at the bench on his way out. LeBron James says nothing, but his look says everything. I got a text from Michael Jordan after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
107-87 (W)
LeBron James, this big fella, takes the court! The hostile crowd is electric!
Abraham Lincoln dishes with the precision of a farmer at work. And it's a pull-up jumper!
Abraham Lincoln picks the pocket of the ball handler! Straight robbery!
John Wilkes Booth with the no-look pass! This All-Star caliber talent has eyes in the back of the head!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Michael Jordan sets the back screen! Night-in night-out consistency off-ball contribution!
Back to the locker room. John Wilkes Booth's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Anecdote: John Wilkes Booth once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
Stephen Curry launches past everyone for a pull-up jumper! This all-around player on a mission!
The fans sense it coming! The energy is building as Stephen Curry gets hot!
This first-ballot legend Michael Jordan tips it to the teammate! An unmatched feel for the game on full display!
They said a farmer couldn't play at this level. Abraham Lincoln and the seed dibber disagree!
Stephen Curry, this all-around player, celebrates the win! A slide across the hardwood! What a game!
Michael Jordan and John Wilkes Booth share a 30-second hug. Abraham Lincoln wants in. Gets pushed away. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
116-100 (W)
Michael Jordan, this towering presence, sets the tone immediately! Nerves of steel from the jump!
This guy with rings on every finger Abraham Lincoln with a beautiful deep three at the buzzer! Poetry in motion!
John Wilkes Booth times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A monster swat under the basket!
This basketball god Abraham Lincoln with assist number buckets! Freakish explosiveness on display!
Michael Jordan reads the defense perfectly! Freakish explosiveness and a sky-high basketball IQ!
End of the second quarter. LeBron James is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. I've been told LeBron James once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
Abraham Lincoln nails a buzzer-beater from deep! Range like the seed dibber reaching across the workshop!
Vendors sell Abraham Lincoln-themed merch! Merchandise gold for this farmer!
LeBron James blows past the pick-and-roll to perfection! Chemistry on display!
Michael Jordan goes to work with the fire of a thousand suns! He's on fire!
This certified GOAT candidate LeBron James led from start to finish! Comprehensive win!
Abraham Lincoln and Michael Jordan pound their chests like gorillas. The coach pretends not to know them. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
92-128 (L)
LeBron James steps back with energy from the opening whistle! This first-ballot legend locked in!
Abraham Lincoln can't hit the ocean right now! Another miss for this household name!
Abraham Lincoln attacks into a dead end facing the rim! Turnover! Occasional mental lapses!
This top-tier talent Stephen Curry can't recover! Scored on in the paint! Occasional mental lapses!
This guy everybody knows John Wilkes Booth throws an elbow in frustration! Injury-prone body on full display!
Halftime. The physio pounces on Abraham Lincoln to massage his thighs. They say Abraham Lincoln eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
John Wilkes Booth bobbles and misses! Fumbling the leather like it's a Monday morning!
Abraham Lincoln grabs the jersey for air! Needs more air than the seed dibber in the workshop!
Abraham Lincoln throws it out of bounds! Like launching the seed dibber into the void!
LeBron James explodes away from the huddle! This generational talent in a dark place mentally!
John Wilkes Booth tells reporters: 'Tomorrow we competes better, like the game!'
Michael Jordan walks toward the tunnel without a word. Stephen Curry stares at the scoreboard as if it might change. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
96-100 (L)
Abraham Lincoln steps onto the venue! From cultivating the stubborn soil to this, game time!
Abraham Lincoln, this solid build, glides to from the left corner for a silky two-handed slam!
Stephen Curry bites on the pump fake! This multi-time All-Star sent flying at the buzzer!
Stephen Curry, this smooth operator, draws the foul but can't capitalize! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
This franchise guy John Wilkes Booth rallies the troops! The team feeds off scary good handles!
That's a cut. LeBron James stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Little scoop: LeBron James logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Michael Jordan misses the wide-open look in right from the tip-off! This absolute legend will regret that!
LeBron James, this all-time great, yells at the coaching staff! Occasional mental lapses causing friction!
From humble the game beginnings, John Wilkes Booth rises at the temple of basketball!
Stephen Curry gets stripped with seconds left on the clock! That's gonna be a costly turnover!
This guy everybody knows John Wilkes Booth tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Stephen Curry refuses the coach's embrace. Abraham Lincoln accepts it but his body is stiff. Evening confession: I'm wearing Stephen Curry's jersey under my shirt. For morale. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
115-108 (W)
Abraham Lincoln stretches center court! Loosening up, the farmer is getting ready!
LeBron James catches fire! And it's a thunderous slam! Silky smooth technique taking over!
John Wilkes Booth recovers and blocks! That's the hustle of someone who works for a living!
Abraham Lincoln with the wraparound pass! Smooth hands from all that farmer work!
This franchise cornerstone LeBron James uses the floater over this towering presence coverage! Smart!
Cut! Halftime. Abraham Lincoln's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Did you know Abraham Lincoln started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Play resumes. The DJ drops a beat to hype up the crowd.
Michael Jordan, this colossus, posts up and delivers a fadeaway jumper! Textbook!
This guy everybody knows Stephen Curry has the arena rocking! A standing ovation off the charts!
Abraham Lincoln plugs the gap! Plugging holes with farmer efficiency!
This hall-of-fame lock Abraham Lincoln silences the noise! An off-the-charts basketball IQ locked in! Nothing else matters!
Abraham Lincoln wraps up an incredible performance! Wrapped up tight, the farmer delivered!
Abraham Lincoln and LeBron James cradle the game ball like a baby. John Wilkes Booth takes a photo. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
100-91 (W)
Abraham Lincoln, this smooth operator, announced to huge cheers! A hostile crowd!
LeBron James, this walking skyscraper, elevates for a monster buzzer-beater!
LeBron James, this titan, recovers and contests! Never-give-up effort fueled by next-level basketball IQ!
LeBron James reads the defense like a book! Assist back to the basket! Unreal swagger!
Abraham Lincoln directs traffic on the field house! Traffic control by a farmer with the stubborn soil!
Back to the locker room. Abraham Lincoln punches his locker. Staff confession: Abraham Lincoln is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
LeBron James converts a tough bucket along the baseline! Skill level: elite!
Abraham Lincoln rises up and the crowd chants the name! Listen to that noise!
LeBron James takes the blame for the mistake! This global icon protecting teammates!
Tears in the crowd as John Wilkes Booth, the humble theater actor, delivers at after a timeout!
Michael Jordan, this global icon, soaks in the moment! Victory back to the basket! A finger to the lips to hush the crowd!
Abraham Lincoln and John Wilkes Booth do the conga. Alone. On an empty court. Nobody joins in. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
100-117 (L)
Abraham Lincoln gets the crowd going early! Setting the tone like a farmer on day one!
John Wilkes Booth takes a tough floater and it doesn't go! Lack of consistency in shot selection!
LeBron James, this oversized freak, gets the ball poked away! Shaky emotions under pressure when protecting the basketball!
LeBron James loses the screen battle! Lack of consistency around the picks!
A scoop layup from Michael Jordan driving to the hoop! That's a statement right there!
Both teams head to the locker room. Stephen Curry wipes his forehead with his jersey. Anecdote: Stephen Curry once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Michael Jordan, this guy with rings on every finger, with the frustrated foul! Ego the size of Texas in tough moments!
LeBron James, this generational talent, sends the basketball wide! The touch is off tonight!
This established star Stephen Curry recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
Stephen Curry penetrates a step slower than usual! Hot head in the tank!
John Wilkes Booth walks the tunnel in silence! Done for the night, back to theater actor life tomorrow!
John Wilkes Booth scratches the back of his neck nervously. LeBron James has the look of someone who has seen things. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
113-108 (W)
And we're underway! Michael Jordan touches the orange first! This potential GOAT looks eager!
Abraham Lincoln forces the shot-clock violation! Patient as a farmer waiting for the stubborn soil!
John Wilkes Booth misses the triple! Three-pointers aren't like triple-checking the game!
Abraham Lincoln, this living legend, exploits the mismatch for a step-back three! Too easy!
LeBron James, this big fella, exploits the mismatch from way beyond the arc! Smart play!
Both teams head in. Stephen Curry has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Fun fact: Stephen Curry got rejected at a casting for a deodorant commercial. The irony. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Abraham Lincoln nails an and-one with the shot clock winding down! Clutch!
Abraham Lincoln forces the step-out-of-bounds! This basketball god hawking the ball!
Confetti falls as Abraham Lincoln exits! A farmer's grand finale on the gymnasium!
Stephen Curry, this reliable star, rises to the occasion! A scoop layup from the left corner! Huge!
LeBron James pulls up in triumph! The final buzzer sounds! That's a W!
John Wilkes Booth grabs the arena mic and screams. Just a scream. Abraham Lincoln applauds. Tonight I had a revelation: Abraham Lincoln runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
98-113 (L)
LeBron James opens with a fadeaway jumper! This household name making an early statement!
This global icon Michael Jordan with a rare miss in the paint! Even the best stumble!
This certified bucket Stephen Curry loses concentration and the Wilson with it!
LeBron James scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Tendency to force bad shots!
What a shot from Abraham Lincoln! A farmer bringing the seed dibber energy to the gym!
Well-deserved break. Stephen Curry looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Little scoop: Stephen Curry tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Abraham Lincoln storms to the bench! Heated! This farmer doesn't handle losing well!
Abraham Lincoln rises up but overcooks it! Injury-prone body showing up again!
John Wilkes Booth makes the right read! Saw it coming a mile away, true theater actor!
This all-time great LeBron James can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
This top-tier talent Stephen Curry shakes hands and moves on. In the end, injury-prone body proved costly.
LeBron James shakes Michael Jordan's hand in silence. Not a word. Just a look that says it all. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
105-101 (W)
This household name LeBron James comes out firing! A two-handed slam in the first minute!
Abraham Lincoln deflects the pass! Redirecting with farmer instincts!
Michael Jordan, this big fella, can't get a pull-up jumper to drop! Cold as ice tonight!
Michael Jordan, this tree of a man, muscles in for a devastating dunk! Pure power!
This All-Star caliber talent Stephen Curry attacks the closeout! Driving past the over-eager defender!
Break time. Abraham Lincoln bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Did you know? Abraham Lincoln has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
Abraham Lincoln dishes and drills it! On the decisive possession! An off-the-charts basketball IQ under pressure!
This potential GOAT LeBron James takes the charge from downtown! Gutsy play!
Post-game fireworks for Abraham Lincoln! Brighter than the seed dibber on a perfect day!
Stephen Curry, this solid build, with the clutch free throw! The building erupts!
Michael Jordan, this all-time great, with the post-game interview smile! Iron discipline all night!
John Wilkes Booth does a handstand. LeBron James holds him by the feet. The crowd holds its breath. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
86-130 (L)
Michael Jordan looks dialed in from the start! Nerves of steel preparation showing!
LeBron James posts up the basketball into nothing! Tendency to force bad shots on full display tonight!
This reliable star John Wilkes Booth with turnover number points! Occasional mental lapses is piling up!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Michael Jordan bites on the fake! Beaten in transition!
Abraham Lincoln steps back the towel! This undisputed superstar showing tendency to force bad shots!
End of the first act. Abraham Lincoln is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Intel: Abraham Lincoln refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
LeBron James air-mails a buzzer beater from the left corner! Way off for this living legend!
John Wilkes Booth drags their feet! Heavy as their bare hands at the end of a shift!
Stephen Curry pulls up the orange right to the defense! Costly mistake by this max-contract guy!
John Wilkes Booth vents at their teammates! The theater actor who vents about the game!
Michael Jordan had the chances but couldn't convert. This absolute legend left wanting.
Abraham Lincoln closes his eyes walking out. Michael Jordan keeps his wide open, fixed, empty. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Yeah ends the season #9 with a 7W-8L record. Season MVP: LeBron James.
Season Journal
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. Ladies and gentlemen... Yeah!
Listen, I've watched hundreds of players come and go in my broadcasting career, but LeBron James is something else entirely. He's the kind of player who makes you jump out of your chair and scream "OH SHIT" at your TV without even realizing it. Standing at 206 cm, a wingspan like a pterodactyl, and a killer instinct that even the coaches can't explain. This man feels the game. He knows where the ball is going to land before the shot even leaves the hand. He reads passes like he's reading minds. At this level, it's not basketball anymore, it's straight-up sorcery.
What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch.
Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's John Wilkes Booth. A theater actor in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles bare hands better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. John Wilkes Booth has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the game and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning.
Let's address the elephant in the room: the budget is OBSCENE. We're so deep into the luxury tax that the team accountant quit, got replaced, and the replacement quit too. The owner doesn't give a damn, he wants the ring and he's willing to burn every last dollar to get it. The result? An absolute dream roster. Every name on this lineup card sends shivers down opponents' spines. It's like playing NBA 2K with the sliders maxed out. It's almost unfair. And tonight, it probably will be.
Yeah ends the season #9 with a 7W-8L record. Season MVP: LeBron James.
💬 💬 Comments & Suggestions (0)
💭
No comments yet. Be the first to share your opinion!
Do you like this creation?
Share it with your friends!
_(cropped).jpg?width=400)