My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 3 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 4 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 14 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | My Team | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. The team with no name, baby! Alright, let's not kid ourselves, if the arena is packed to the gills, it's because of THE phenomenon. This guy isn't just a basketball player, he's a walking cheat code on the hardwood: give it up for Miles Morales! Picture this: standing at 173 cm, but he handles the rock with the agility of a 5'10" point guard and launches missiles from 30 feet like he's at shootaround. When he attacks the paint, it's simple, he's a freight train: either you get out of the way, or you end up on his poster doing the rounds on social media for a week straight. The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around. And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the cherry on top, the plot twist nobody saw coming: the coach recruited Megatron. A warlord. To play professional basketball. I'll repeat for the people in the back: a warlord, with bare hands, on an NBA hardwood. The guy showed up at his first practice asking where the locker rooms were... And went the wrong way. Twice. But the coach swears on everything holy that Megatron has "something." We don't know what exactly, but he has "something." In the meantime, the guy runs around like a headless chicken, confuses the game with the basketball, and has already racked up three technical fouls for trying to negotiate with the referee. The budget? Look, I've seen GoFundMe campaigns with more money. We're below the salary floor, which means the league is literally going to HAND them cash to hit the legal minimum. It's embarrassing, but it's also a plan: tank hard, finish last, snag the first overall pick, and rebuild. The problem is they've been tanking for three years and never landed the top pick. Bad luck has a name, and it's this damn franchise.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
88-132 (L)
Spider-Man takes the court to an incredible energy! The superhero with their bare hands is here!
Drake Maye, this tweener, gets the separation but can't finish! Tendency to force bad shots!
Miles Morales takes off into a dead end on the low block! Turnover! Heavy feet!
Drake Maye gambles for the steal and pays the price! Heavy feet!
Miles Morales walks away muttering! Muttering about the game under their breath!
Both teams head in. Hulk has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Anecdote: Hulk tried to impress the Detroit Engine-Roar players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Spider-Man bricks another one! Building something awful with their bare hands tonight!
Spider-Man grimaces through the effort! The grimace of a superhero finishing the game!
Hulk with the lazy pass! Defense that's basically a suggestion leading to easy points!
Drake Maye glares at the scoreboard! This surprise package not happy with the situation!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Hulk tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Drake Maye's face is locked shut, zero emotion. Hulk hides his eyes under a towel. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
105-108 (L)
Spider-Man gets the crowd going early! Setting the tone like a superhero on day one!
Drake Maye, this who-is-this-guy player, drops a two-handed slam at the top of the key! Pure artistry!
Spider-Man gets burned on the drive! Shaky emotions under pressure in lateral movement!
Brick! Hulk misfires in the paint! Ego the size of Texas at the worst time!
Drake Maye, this potential breakout star, makes the huge stop! Defense fueling the comeback!
Halftime whistle. Hulk has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Fun fact: Hulk failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Drake Maye, this versatile guy, gets blocked in the clutch! A ball recovery denies this guy nobody was talking about!
Drake Maye spins the towel! This hungry young player showing shaky emotions under pressure!
This dude out of nowhere Drake Maye refuses to lose! The will of a champion!
Miles Morales can't hit the go-ahead! Lack of consistency when the lights are brightest!
Megatron walks the tunnel in silence! Done for the night, back to warlord life tomorrow!
Miles Morales mutters 'damn' under his breath. Megatron says 'yeah' in the same tone. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
89-126 (L)
This certified GOAT candidate Hulk gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Drake Maye, this raw talent, comes up empty! A bucket off target back to the basket!
This guy nobody was talking about Drake Maye dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
This player making noise Miles Morales commits the and-one foul! Defense that's basically a suggestion in positioning!
Miles Morales shakes their head! A superhero who can't believe that just happened!
Halftime! Drake Maye walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Fun fact: Drake Maye blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
A scoop layup from Miles Morales catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
Drake Maye, this combo guard, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
Drake Maye with a wild pass that sails out! This dark horse giving it away!
Drake Maye, this newcomer, refuses to high-five! Hot head hurting the chemistry!
Spider-Man wipes a tear! A superhero who poured everything into the effort!
Drake Maye takes a sip of water and spits it right back out. Hulk doesn't drink. Throat too tight. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
96-119 (L)
Hulk begins their shift on the hardwood! A scientist starting the their lab notebook shift!
This solid pro Miles Morales misfires again! Limited stamina could cost the team!
Stolen from Miles Morales! A superhero who let it slip through their fingers!
Miles Morales lunges the wrong direction! Fake had this league veteran fooled!
Drake Maye, this smooth operator, glides at half court for a silky free throw!
Halftime whistle. Spider-Man has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. I've been told Spider-Man always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
Hulk stares in disbelief! The look of a scientist who just lost everything!
Spider-Man can't find the range! Their bare hands has better accuracy than that!
Drake Maye, this newcomer, draws the double team and finds the open man! High IQ!
Megatron plays through exhaustion! The endurance of competing the game daily!
Hulk packs up and heads out! Packing their lab notebook, unpacking emotions!
Megatron and Spider-Man share a single look. Just one. It contains all the disappointment in the world. I learned that Megatron's father was a superhero. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
91-106 (L)
Hulk bounces the pill pre-game! Getting that rhythm going!
Megatron misses badly! Should have aimed like they aim their bare hands at the game!
Drake Maye, this tweener, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted back to the basket!
Hulk gets blown by! Even a scientist couldn't stop that!
Hulk applies the same technique to the orange as to the hidden truth. A euro-step at the buzzer!
Off to the locker room. Hulk has already drained two water bottles. Small detail: Hulk wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Hulk, this versatile guy, sits down hard on the bench! Occasional mental lapses written all over his face!
Megatron forces a reverse layup from the right corner! This guy with a proven track record trying too hard!
This who-is-this-guy player Drake Maye attacks the closeout! Driving past the over-eager defender!
Spider-Man is cramping up! This franchise cornerstone trying to shake it off! Lack of consistency!
Hulk vows to come back stronger! Stronger than their lab notebook reinforced with the hidden truth!
Megatron's face is locked shut, zero emotion. Spider-Man hides his eyes under a towel. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
84-116 (L)
Megatron checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Drake Maye fires a buzzer-beater from downtown but can't connect! Injury-prone body showing!
Megatron throws it into traffic! Reckless pass, the warlord got too confident!
Miles Morales gets screened out of the play! This established player lost in traffic!
Drake Maye slams the orange in frustration! Tendency to rush on full display!
Halftime. Hulk glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Little scoop: Hulk logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Miles Morales blows past the leather into nothing! Occasional mental lapses on full display tonight!
Hulk gulps water! As thirsty as a scientist reaching for the hidden truth!
Hulk lets fly into a trap! Ego the size of Texas when reading the defense!
Hulk mouths off and picks up a T! Injury-prone body taking over!
Drake Maye had the chances but couldn't convert. This hungry young player left wanting.
Miles Morales sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. Megatron winces. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
83-116 (L)
Megatron huddles with the team! Huddling up, the warlord strategizes!
Hulk heaves and misses! Should have heaved the hidden truth instead!
Miles Morales turns it over on a clutch free throw! A superhero dropping their bare hands at the worst time!
Megatron, this smooth operator, fouls unnecessarily from way beyond the arc! Heavy feet!
Drake Maye can't mask the disappointment! This rising star wearing it on the sleeve!
Rest time. Drake Maye isolates in a corner of the locker room, headphones on. True story: Drake Maye walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Toronto Border-Patrol. Awkward. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
A layup from Spider-Man hits the iron! Sometimes predictable game under the spotlight!
Hulk cramps up! Muscles tight from their lab notebook and the orange double duty!
Sloppy handling by Megatron! Competing the game is done with more finesse!
Megatron slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a warlord hits the workbench!
Spider-Man sits on the bench post-game! Sitting like a superhero after their bare hands broke!
Megatron stares at the floor while Spider-Man mutters something inaudible under his breath. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Megatron's name. Forgive me. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
73-118 (L)
Drake Maye, this do-it-all player, sets the tone immediately! Eyes in the back of the head from the jump!
Miles Morales, this established player, fumbles the finish in the paint! Back to the drawing board!
Spider-Man gets the ball stripped! The game would have stayed in a superhero's grip!
Hulk, this combo guard, gets exploited in the switch! Limited stamina exposed in the mismatch!
Spider-Man tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the superhero will bounce back!
Players head to the locker room. Miles Morales has tape on three fingers. Juicy intel: Miles Morales turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
Spider-Man, this basketball god, sends the orange wide! The touch is off tonight!
Miles Morales is running on fumes! The superhero tank is completely empty!
This up-and-coming baller Miles Morales loses concentration and the basketball with it!
Megatron looks to the heavens! A warlord praying for their bare hands to work!
Spider-Man leaves the arena with dignity! The dignity of a superhero with their bare hands!
Drake Maye sits on the floor in the hallway. Spider-Man sits down next to him. Nobody speaks. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
90-112 (L)
Hulk looks dialed in from the start! Insane court vision preparation showing!
Spider-Man with the ugly miss! The superhero touch is absent tonight!
Megatron with the backcourt violation! This respected competitor under too much pressure!
Megatron gets screened out! Stuck behind their bare hands like it's a wall!
Miles Morales carves through and scores! That's what a superhero does best!
Cut! Halftime. Drake Maye's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Little secret: Drake Maye has a secret TikTok account with 12 followers. Posts cooking tutorials. We're back! The players look fired up.
This once-in-a-lifetime player Spider-Man fouls hard out of frustration! Lack of consistency showing!
This certified GOAT candidate Hulk whiffs on a double-clutch layup! The crowd groans!
Hulk adjusts the matchup! Finding the right fit, the scientist approach!
Miles Morales soldiers on! The soldier who competes the game with their bare hands!
This dude putting the league on notice Megatron congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this dude putting the league on notice.
Megatron kicks his towel across the floor. Drake Maye has already left for the locker room, alone. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
82-119 (L)
Hulk, this guy with rings on every finger, draws first blood! A thunderous slam to start!
Miles Morales throws up a clunker! Their bare hands would weep at that trajectory!
Miles Morales gets picked! A superhero getting the game stolen in broad daylight!
Miles Morales overcommits! Going all-in like a superhero on the game, but wrong!
Megatron, this versatile guy, shows negative body language! Limited stamina creeping in!
Well-deserved break. Megatron looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Fun fact: Megatron failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Megatron launches and misses! The Wilson isn't the game, and it shows!
Drake Maye, this total unknown, making mistakes from exhaustion! The body is failing!
Megatron coughs it up! A warlord's grip doesn't work on the ball!
Spider-Man posts up angrily after the turnover! This global icon spiraling!
Miles Morales looks at the scoreboard one last time! Numbers don't lie for a superhero!
Hulk sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Miles Morales puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
83-125 (L)
And we're underway! Megatron touches the rock first! This player on the come-up looks eager!
Spider-Man misses! Even a superhero can't fix that shot!
Miles Morales, this little guy, gets stripped under the basket! Tendency to force bad shots exposed!
Drake Maye falls asleep on the weak side! Tendency to force bad shots exposed!
Miles Morales mouths off at late in the quarter! A superhero venting about the game!
The players head to the locker room. Miles Morales is sweating like a racehorse. Rumor has it Miles Morales talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
Megatron misfires at the buzzer! Even this dude putting the league on notice has off nights!
Miles Morales finds a second wind! The superhero engine roars back to life!
Megatron loses the damn ball in traffic! This established player can't afford that!
Megatron drops their shoulders! Deflated, even a warlord's spirit has limits!
Spider-Man consoles teammates! The heart of a superhero in that moment!
Miles Morales walks like someone carrying the weight of the world. Spider-Man drags one foot after the other. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
93-121 (L)
This diamond in the rough Drake Maye comes out firing! A pull-up jumper in the first minute!
A tear drop from Hulk sails wide! This global icon needs to regroup!
Drake Maye coughs up the basketball! Occasional mental lapses strikes again at the buzzer!
This living legend Spider-Man fouls reaching in! Defense that's basically a suggestion on defense!
A buzzer-beater from Megatron! This league veteran reminding everyone why they're on top!
Both teams head in. Spider-Man has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Did you know? Spider-Man launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
Megatron, this smooth operator, throws the hands up! Exasperated at half court!
Hulk gets a clean look but limited stamina costs the bucket!
Hulk adjusts the tempo! Controlling the rhythm like a veteran scientist!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Spider-Man has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
Miles Morales dunks to the tunnel in disappointment. This player making noise will learn from this.
Spider-Man turns back to look at the court one last time. Miles Morales doesn't turn around. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
80-125 (L)
Miles Morales locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a superhero who means business!
Spider-Man misses the open look! This hall-of-fame lock can't believe it! Limited stamina!
Spider-Man with the careless pass! Competing the game with more care, please!
Miles Morales fouls trying to recover! Desperate as a superhero chasing the game!
This total unknown Drake Maye shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Heading in. Drake Maye's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. Locker room intel: Drake Maye has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Spider-Man whiffs on the jumper! A superhero off their game with their bare hands!
Spider-Man leans on their knees! Gassed, but the superhero keeps going!
Drake Maye throws it into the stands! What was that from this surprise package!
Miles Morales buries their face! Hidden from view, the superhero can't watch!
Spider-Man fought but fell short! Just out of reach, the superhero gave everything!
Megatron walks toward the tunnel without a word. Hulk stares at the scoreboard as if it might change. I learned that Megatron's father was a superhero. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
86-111 (L)
Miles Morales, this small but mighty player, takes the court! The boiling cauldron is electric!
Hulk with a rough fadeaway jumper at the buzzer! Defense that's basically a suggestion at the worst time!
Hulk loses the leather! A scientist would never be this careless!
Hulk beaten to the spot! Slower than a scientist on a Monday morning!
Hulk, this combo guard, uses strength and skill for a deep three! Complete player!
Break! Megatron grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Fun fact: Megatron is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
Miles Morales launches away from the huddle! This legit talent in a dark place mentally!
Drake Maye, this combo guard, wastes a golden chance with a wild layup!
Drake Maye pushes the pace in transition! Insane court vision showing in every play!
Megatron is gassed! More tired than after a full day of competing the game!
Despite the loss, Megatron held their own with the game! The warlord fought!
Megatron walks toward the tunnel without a word. Spider-Man stares at the scoreboard as if it might change. I got a text from Megatron after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
90-134 (L)
Megatron steps onto the den! From competing the game to this, game time!
Spider-Man sends it long! Too much power, not enough finesse from this superhero!
This player nobody saw coming Drake Maye commits the offensive foul! Turnover at half court!
Spider-Man gets back-doored! Didn't see it, like not seeing the game behind their bare hands!
This surprise package Drake Maye slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
Players head to the locker room. Megatron has tape on three fingers. Intel: Megatron asked Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest for their energy drink recipe. They refused. Play resumes. The DJ drops a beat to hype up the crowd.
That one wasn't even close, Hulk! Stick to discoverring the hidden truth!
Megatron gets the cramp timeout! Cramping from competing the game and hooping!
This respected competitor Megatron with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
This legit talent Megatron stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Hulk takes the loss hard! Hard as the hidden truth on a bad scientist day!
Hulk punches his locker when he gets to the locker room. Megatron slides down the wall to the floor. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Miles Morales.
Season Journal
Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. The team with no name, baby!
Alright, let's not kid ourselves, if the arena is packed to the gills, it's because of THE phenomenon. This guy isn't just a basketball player, he's a walking cheat code on the hardwood: give it up for Miles Morales! Picture this: standing at 173 cm, but he handles the rock with the agility of a 5'10" point guard and launches missiles from 30 feet like he's at shootaround. When he attacks the paint, it's simple, he's a freight train: either you get out of the way, or you end up on his poster doing the rounds on social media for a week straight.
The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around.
And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the cherry on top, the plot twist nobody saw coming: the coach recruited Megatron. A warlord. To play professional basketball. I'll repeat for the people in the back: a warlord, with bare hands, on an NBA hardwood. The guy showed up at his first practice asking where the locker rooms were... And went the wrong way. Twice. But the coach swears on everything holy that Megatron has "something." We don't know what exactly, but he has "something." In the meantime, the guy runs around like a headless chicken, confuses the game with the basketball, and has already racked up three technical fouls for trying to negotiate with the referee.
The budget? Look, I've seen GoFundMe campaigns with more money. We're below the salary floor, which means the league is literally going to HAND them cash to hit the legal minimum. It's embarrassing, but it's also a plan: tank hard, finish last, snag the first overall pick, and rebuild. The problem is they've been tanking for three years and never landed the top pick. Bad luck has a name, and it's this damn franchise.
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Miles Morales.
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