My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 3 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | New York Over-Timers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | My Team | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Houston Blast-Off | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to what is probably going to be the most electric night of this season. The arena is packed to the rafters, there are people standing in the corridors, security gave up trying to control anything, and the DJ is blasting so loud the scoreboard is vibrating. We are here to talk about a legendary franchise. A team that has seen sacred monsters pass through, that has lived through dream seasons and nightmare years, that has rebuilt ten times over and always comes back with the same devouring hunger. The team with no name, baby! There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's Yao Ming. Standing at 229 cm, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face. And the most terrifying thing about him? It's not the stats, it's not the size, it's the calm. You know that moment where the arena is on its feet, the clock is ticking down the final seconds, sweat is pouring... And he's just chewing his gum like he's waiting for the bus? Then he loads up. And drains it. Stone cold. In front of 20,000 people on the verge of cardiac arrest. That's what a franchise player is: the guy who carries everyone on his shoulders and still makes it look easy. And because this season couldn't possibly be normal, the coach went out and signed Harriet Tubman. The woman. Is. A spy. I'm going to let that marinate for two seconds. A spy. On a professional basketball court. With guys who jump 3 feet off the ground. This girl jumps 6 inches, on a good day, with a running start and the wind at her back. But she's got their hidden camera and apparently, the technical motion of a spy and a pull-up jumper are "basically the same thing, give or take 90 degrees." That's what the coach said. The team doctor immediately requested a cognitive evaluation for the coach. Budget-wise, they're playing by the rules. Barely. It's clean, but it's tight. You've got one modest star, two or three decent role players, and after that... It's a black hole on the bench. They're trying to build smart without going broke, but every time a player asks for a raise, they start sweating. This is the definition of a "middle of the pack" squad.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
91-110 (L)
Harriet Tubman, this combo guard, takes the court! The hostile crowd is electric!
A pull-up jumper by Yao Ming in transition is way off! Tough night for this multi-time All-Star!
50 Cent loses the orange! A rapper would never be this careless!
Harriet Tubman can't stay in front! Infiltrating the enemy state doesn't build lateral quickness!
Charlie Kirk converts in the paint! A conspiracy theorist converting the game into gold!
Halftime. The physio pounces on Harriet Tubman to massage her thighs. Locker room intel: Harriet Tubman has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on her butt. That's commitment. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Abraham Lincoln throws their hands up! Like a farmer when the seed dibber breaks!
Yao Ming with the off-balance hook shot! This max-contract guy couldn't set the feet!
Abraham Lincoln reads the defense like a book! Perfect play call from this farmer!
50 Cent spins but the legs won't cooperate! Limited stamina catching up!
Harriet Tubman refuses to make excuses! A spy owns the enemy state failures too!
Harriet Tubman looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Abraham Lincoln looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
95-99 (L)
This all-time great Harriet Tubman catches the damn ball early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Yao Ming hits a step-back three! Insane court vision proving to be the difference tonight!
Harriet Tubman gets blown by! Even a spy couldn't stop that!
50 Cent dribbles the basketball but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
Abraham Lincoln chips away at the lead! Chipping away with farmer persistence!
Halftime. Yao Ming is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Small detail: Yao Ming wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Yao Ming forces the hero ball and misses! This big-name player with tendency to force bad shots!
Harriet Tubman, this versatile guy, pounds the scorer's table! Lack of consistency on full display!
This living legend Abraham Lincoln plays every possession like the last! Next-level basketball IQ burning bright!
Yao Ming, this certified bucket, commits the late turnover! Shaky emotions under pressure with the ball!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Charlie Kirk tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Charlie Kirk sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. 50 Cent puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
103-92 (W)
Charlie Kirk rises up with energy from the opening whistle! This potential GOAT locked in!
Abraham Lincoln, this generational talent, unleashes a free throw back to the basket! Bang!
50 Cent sprints to close out! A flawless defensive rotation from downtown! Great effort!
This all-time great 50 Cent orchestrates the offense in the paint! Maestro!
Yao Ming, this max-contract guy, manages the clock beautifully in the fourth quarter!
Both teams head to the locker room. Yao Ming wipes his forehead with his jersey. Fun fact: Yao Ming is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Yao Ming with an incredible buzzer beater in the paint! Standing ovation!
This established star Yao Ming brings palpable tension to a new level! Incredible scene!
Abraham Lincoln cheers the loudest! Happy as a farmer clocking out on a Friday!
This will be talked about for years! Yao Ming with a catch-and-shoot triple! Iconic!
This franchise cornerstone Harriet Tubman secures the win with eyes in the back of the head! Another one in the bag!
Yao Ming grabs the arena mic and screams. Just a scream. Abraham Lincoln applauds. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
101-95 (W)
Harriet Tubman steps onto the floor! From infiltrating the enemy state to this, game time!
This max-contract guy Yao Ming finishes with authority! A buzzer-beater under the basket!
This household name 50 Cent with the screen navigation! Gets through and contests!
Charlie Kirk dribbles and dishes! Gorgeous feed facing the rim! A killer instinct!
Yao Ming slows the pace when the team needs it! This bonafide star tempo control!
Both teams head in. Charlie Kirk has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Little scoop: Charlie Kirk logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
50 Cent hits nothing but net! Pure as a rapper's work with their hot mic!
The crowd gasps at Abraham Lincoln's move! Agility worthy of a farmer!
Charlie Kirk executes the play call! Flawless execution from this conspiracy theorist!
Yao Ming has found another gear! This headliner shifting into overdrive!
This basketball god Charlie Kirk wraps up a sensational performance! Victory is sweet!
Abraham Lincoln and 50 Cent run circles around Yao Ming who doesn't move. Zen. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Abraham Lincoln's name. Forgive me. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
110-84 (W)
50 Cent lands the first layup! First blood! The rapper strikes first!
The crowd erupts as Harriet Tubman nails a bank shot! A spy on fire at the court!
50 Cent drops into help defense! Always there when you need a rapper!
Yao Ming, this multi-time All-Star, dishes to the hot hand! Smart basketball!
Yao Ming lets fly to the right spot! Iron discipline off-ball movement!
The locker room. 50 Cent sprawls out full-length on the bench. Fun fact: 50 Cent tried to patent a celebration after a three-pointer. The application was rejected. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Yao Ming with another two-handed slam! You can't stop this man!
Yao Ming penetrates and the noise is deafening! Wild stands! Wow!
This household name 50 Cent runs the orange patiently! Searching for the perfect shot!
Every time Harriet Tubman touches the pill, you see the discipline of their hidden camera!
Yao Ming tosses the ball in the air! A team high-five! This All-Star caliber talent mission accomplished!
Harriet Tubman and 50 Cent chest bump so hard they each fly back three meters. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
106-92 (W)
Opening possession for Harriet Tubman! First touch, like first touch of their hidden camera!
Charlie Kirk scores with nerves of steel. An alley-oop from way beyond the arc! Too smooth!
Yao Ming, this reliable star, clamps down on the star player! Freakish explosiveness on the assignment!
50 Cent pulls up and creates! Another assist from way beyond the arc! Quarterback!
Harriet Tubman, this swiss-army-knife type, exploits the mismatch from the right corner! Smart play!
The locker room fills up. Harriet Tubman has already eaten three oranges. Did you know Harriet Tubman entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Charlie Kirk pulls up and drills a half-court heave! Can't teach that!
Standing room only! A crowd fully behind them as Harriet Tubman takes over in the paint!
50 Cent plugs the gap! Plugging holes with rapper efficiency!
This headliner Yao Ming channels the inner champion! A gym-rat work ethic at its peak!
Harriet Tubman grabs the game ball! This living legend earned it tonight!
Yao Ming and Charlie Kirk cradle the game ball like a baby. Abraham Lincoln takes a photo. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
113-83 (W)
50 Cent, this versatile guy, sets the tone immediately! Freakish explosiveness from the jump!
Charlie Kirk converts at half court! A step-back three with trademark freakish explosiveness!
Abraham Lincoln finds them in the top of the key! Navigating the floor like a farmer navigates rush hour!
Abraham Lincoln drops a double-clutch layup from the top of the key! Range that would impress any farmer!
50 Cent with the defensive masterclass! A rapper teaching everyone a lesson!
Heading in. Charlie Kirk's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. Little secret: Charlie Kirk watches cat videos between quarters. Says it's relaxing. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
The technical flair of Charlie Kirk recalls their conspiracy theorist days. An and-one! Sublime!
50 Cent mercy-rules them! Even a rapper wouldn't be this ruthless!
The ref just asked Abraham Lincoln to put the seed dibber away! Not regulation equipment!
Abraham Lincoln throws the finger guns at the crowd! A hug with the coach after a devastating dunk!
Harriet Tubman, this do-it-all player, carries the team to victory! MVP-level performance!
Charlie Kirk runs the full court high-fiving everyone. Yao Ming follows doing the wave alone. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
107-109 (L)
The game begins and Yao Ming is ready! You can see that dawg mentality written all over his face!
Abraham Lincoln, this household name, sinks a fadeaway jumper with surgical precision from the left corner!
Harriet Tubman, this solid build, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over tendency to force bad shots!
This basketball god Abraham Lincoln throws up a prayer in transition! Not answered!
This top-tier talent Yao Ming with back-to-back buckets! The lead is crumbling!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Charlie Kirk picks up the pace. True story: Charlie Kirk had his parking spot stolen by Minnesota Ice-Wall's mascot. Still talks about it. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
This guy with rings on every finger 50 Cent picks up the foul during crunch time! Terrible timing!
Abraham Lincoln mutters to himself walking back! This household name fighting inner demons!
This living legend Charlie Kirk flips the script! From struggle to dominance!
50 Cent airballs the potential winner! Spitting the fiery bars is easier than this!
Yao Ming, this top-tier talent, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
50 Cent's gaze is cold, distant. Yao Ming's gaze is hot, angry. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
113-108 (W)
50 Cent steps back onto the floor! The crowd roars for this global icon!
50 Cent wins the rebound battle! Snatched it like a rapper on the clock!
Yao Ming, this mammoth, gets stuffed trying a devastating dunk! Denied!
Charlie Kirk, this guy with rings on every finger, drops an off-balance shot in transition! Pure artistry!
Yao Ming, this headliner, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Insane court vision!
End of the first act. Abraham Lincoln is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Did you know Abraham Lincoln keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
50 Cent comes alive in crunch time! The rapper instinct kicks in!
50 Cent steals the ball! Quick hands from spitting the fiery bars all day!
The jumbotron shows Harriet Tubman's spy highlight reel! What a career!
Harriet Tubman with the game-winner! The winning touch of their hidden camera on the enemy state!
Yao Ming pumps the fist as the buzzer goes! This world-class player savors the win!
Harriet Tubman charges toward the crowd. 50 Cent catches her just before she dives into the stands. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
108-100 (W)
50 Cent huddles with the team! Huddling up, the rapper strategizes!
This undisputed superstar 50 Cent punishes the defense with a deep three in the paint!
50 Cent picks the pocket of the ball handler! Straight robbery!
Yao Ming crosses over into the lane and kicks out! Natural-born leadership and great decision-making!
Abraham Lincoln sets up the play three passes ahead! Three moves ahead, like a farmer at work!
First half is done. Yao Ming is chugging Gatorade like it's water. Did you know Yao Ming knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Denver Horse-Track's colors. By accident, obviously. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Abraham Lincoln with a two-handed slam! The finesse of the seed dibber right there on the arena!
Chills at the temple of basketball as Abraham Lincoln gets introduced! The farmer with the seed dibber!
50 Cent takes the charge for the team! Heart of a rapper, sacrifice of a warrior!
Yao Ming spins through pain, through doubt! This top-tier talent transcending!
Abraham Lincoln finishes with a monster stat line! Numbers a farmer would be proud of!
50 Cent points both hands at the sky. Harriet Tubman points at 50 Cent. Abraham Lincoln points at the exit. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
98-106 (L)
This household name Harriet Tubman means business! Fast start driving to the hoop!
50 Cent gets a clean look but occasional mental lapses costs the bucket!
Charlie Kirk spins into a dead end off the pick and roll! Turnover! Ego the size of Texas!
50 Cent scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Limited stamina!
Abraham Lincoln scores at will! A deep three at half court! This guy with rings on every finger domination!
Well-deserved break. 50 Cent looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Locker room intel: 50 Cent has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Yao Ming slams the rock in frustration! Hot head on full display!
Harriet Tubman goes to work the Wilson into nothing! Hot head on full display tonight!
Charlie Kirk, this solid build, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!
50 Cent barely gets back on defense! Moving like a rapper on a Friday afternoon!
Abraham Lincoln walks off in defeat! Even a farmer's skills couldn't save tonight!
Harriet Tubman looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Abraham Lincoln looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
94-99 (L)
Abraham Lincoln, this combo guard, is introduced and the arena explodes! This basketball god is in the building!
This headliner Yao Ming puts up a bucket but it won't fall! Off night!
50 Cent loses the orange in traffic! This first-ballot legend can't afford that!
50 Cent gets posted up and scored on! This all-time great overpowered!
A finger roll from Charlie Kirk! This all-time great just keeps delivering!
Heading in. Harriet Tubman's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. Did you know Harriet Tubman knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Cleveland Twin-Towers's colors. By accident, obviously. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
Abraham Lincoln can't hide the frustration! The seed dibber frustration meets the pill frustration!
Yao Ming pulls up but it's well off! Limited stamina under fatigue!
Harriet Tubman, this smooth operator, seals the defender for position! Fundamentals!
Abraham Lincoln finds a second wind! The farmer engine roars back to life!
Charlie Kirk vows to come back stronger! Stronger than their bare hands reinforced with the game!
Harriet Tubman leaves the court at a jog. 50 Cent stays there, planted at center court, motionless. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
81-125 (L)
50 Cent bounces the Wilson pre-game! Getting that rhythm going!
Abraham Lincoln, this hall-of-fame lock, sends the basketball wide! The touch is off tonight!
Harriet Tubman forces the pass! Forcing their hidden camera where it doesn't fit!
Abraham Lincoln bites on the pump fake! This living legend sent flying off the pick and roll!
Charlie Kirk walks away muttering! Muttering about the game under their breath!
Both teams head to the locker room. 50 Cent wipes his forehead with his jersey. Quick anecdote about 50 Cent: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Air ball from Harriet Tubman! Being a spy doesn't help with shooting, apparently!
Abraham Lincoln cramps up! Muscles tight from the seed dibber and the Spalding double duty!
50 Cent gets picked! A rapper getting the fiery bars stolen in broad daylight!
50 Cent sits on the bench for a moment! Resting like a rapper after a long shift!
Abraham Lincoln shakes hands through the pain! A farmer who respects the seed dibber and the game!
Yao Ming whispers 'this can't be real' under his breath. Abraham Lincoln nods without conviction. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
106-105 (W)
Yao Ming, this established star, embraces the sold-out gym on fire! Game on!
Harriet Tubman with a defensive stop! The reflexes of a spy catching the enemy state!
Harriet Tubman with a wild attempt! This undisputed superstar not finding the range tonight!
50 Cent nails a deep three at the jump ball! A rapper who delivers when it matters!
Yao Ming crosses over with purpose every possession! This top-tier talent chess master!
Halftime. The physio pounces on Abraham Lincoln to massage his thighs. Confession: Abraham Lincoln tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Abraham Lincoln delivers at after a timeout! A farmer who always delivers on time!
Harriet Tubman a defensive stop with authority! This tweener protecting the paint!
A hostile crowd fills the arena! This absolute legend Harriet Tubman feeds off the energy!
This guy everybody knows Yao Ming answers back immediately! A free throw back to the basket! Resilient!
This franchise cornerstone Abraham Lincoln is all smiles! The stats back up the brilliance!
Harriet Tubman gives her headband to a kid in the crowd. 50 Cent gives his shoes. Abraham Lincoln gives his water bottle. The kid is overwhelmed. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
80-117 (L)
50 Cent begins their shift on the field house! A rapper starting the their hot mic shift!
Charlie Kirk denied by the basket! Even a conspiracy theorist can't pry it open!
Abraham Lincoln throws it away! A pass worse than a farmer tossing the stubborn soil!
Charlie Kirk gets screened out of the play! This undisputed superstar lost in traffic!
This undisputed superstar 50 Cent hangs the head after the miss! Deflated from mid-range!
Rest. Harriet Tubman buries her head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Anecdote: Harriet Tubman once wore her jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Charlie Kirk clanks another one off the rim! This potential GOAT needs to find rhythm!
50 Cent misses from fatigue! Tired arms from spitting the fiery bars all week!
This potential GOAT Charlie Kirk with turnover number points! Injury-prone body is piling up!
Harriet Tubman drops the head after another miss! Occasional mental lapses sapping the confidence!
This guy everybody knows Yao Ming congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this guy everybody knows.
Abraham Lincoln's face is locked shut, zero emotion. Charlie Kirk hides his eyes under a towel. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
My Team ends the season #8 with a 8W-7L record. Season MVP: Yao Ming.
Season Journal
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to what is probably going to be the most electric night of this season. The arena is packed to the rafters, there are people standing in the corridors, security gave up trying to control anything, and the DJ is blasting so loud the scoreboard is vibrating. We are here to talk about a legendary franchise. A team that has seen sacred monsters pass through, that has lived through dream seasons and nightmare years, that has rebuilt ten times over and always comes back with the same devouring hunger. The team with no name, baby!
There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's Yao Ming. Standing at 229 cm, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face.
And the most terrifying thing about him? It's not the stats, it's not the size, it's the calm. You know that moment where the arena is on its feet, the clock is ticking down the final seconds, sweat is pouring... And he's just chewing his gum like he's waiting for the bus? Then he loads up. And drains it. Stone cold. In front of 20,000 people on the verge of cardiac arrest. That's what a franchise player is: the guy who carries everyone on his shoulders and still makes it look easy.
And because this season couldn't possibly be normal, the coach went out and signed Harriet Tubman. The woman. Is. A spy. I'm going to let that marinate for two seconds. A spy. On a professional basketball court. With guys who jump 3 feet off the ground. This girl jumps 6 inches, on a good day, with a running start and the wind at her back. But she's got their hidden camera and apparently, the technical motion of a spy and a pull-up jumper are "basically the same thing, give or take 90 degrees." That's what the coach said. The team doctor immediately requested a cognitive evaluation for the coach.
Budget-wise, they're playing by the rules. Barely. It's clean, but it's tight. You've got one modest star, two or three decent role players, and after that... It's a black hole on the bench. They're trying to build smart without going broke, but every time a player asks for a raise, they start sweating. This is the definition of a "middle of the pack" squad.
My Team ends the season #8 with a 8W-7L record. Season MVP: Yao Ming.
💬 💬 Comments & Suggestions (0)
💭
No comments yet. Be the first to share your opinion!
Do you like this creation?
Share it with your friends!
.jpg?width=300&width=400)
_(headshot_cropped).jpg?width=300&width=400)
