street ballers — basketball_team 🇬🇧
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | street ballers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Phoenix No-Defense | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Buckle up, pull your visor down, and clench everything you've got because tonight we are NOT talking about some pickup game at the park. Hell no. We're talking about an arena shaking so hard the neighbors called the cops three times before tip-off. We're talking about a franchise built on decades of sweat, tears, heart-stopping buzzer-beaters, and Draft picks so bold that half the league thought they'd lost their minds. And yet, here they are, back and hungrier than ever. Ladies and gentlemen... Street ballers! Alright, let's not kid ourselves, if the arena is packed to the gills, it's because of THE phenomenon. This guy isn't just a basketball player, he's a walking cheat code on the hardwood: give it up for Victor Wembanyama! Picture this: standing at 224 cm, but he handles the rock with the agility of a 5'10" point guard and launches missiles from 30 feet like he's at shootaround. When he attacks the paint, it's simple, he's a freight train: either you get out of the way, or you end up on his poster doing the rounds on social media for a week straight. You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance. And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the cherry on top, the plot twist nobody saw coming: the coach recruited Goku. A farmer. To play professional basketball. I'll repeat for the people in the back: a farmer, with seed dibber, on an NBA hardwood. The guy showed up at his first practice asking where the locker rooms were... And went the wrong way. Twice. But the coach swears on everything holy that Goku has "something." We don't know what exactly, but he has "something." In the meantime, the guy runs around like a headless chicken, confuses stubborn soil with the basketball, and has already racked up three technical fouls for trying to negotiate with the referee. This team's budget is the GDP of a small country. Seriously, there are nations at the UN moving less cash than this roster. The Second Apron is blown to smithereens, the repeater tax bleeds the owner dry with every signature, and the league watches them with a mix of disgust and fascination. But the owner doesn't care. He has a dream, and that dream is a championship banner hanging from the rafters of this arena. Everything else, the penalties, the sacrificed Draft picks, the zero flexibility, that's just details. Damn details.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
115-98 (W)
LaMelo Ball crosses over with energy from the opening whistle! This dude putting the league on notice locked in!
LaMelo Ball attacks from downtown and finishes with a thunderous slam! Too good!
Victor Wembanyama blocks it and keeps it in play! Heads-up play, what awareness!
Victor Wembanyama with the no-look pass! This up-and-coming baller has eyes in the back of the head!
LaMelo Ball, this player making noise, orchestrates the delay game! A killer instinct in action!
Break. LaMelo Ball's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. I've been told LaMelo Ball once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
James Harden with eyes in the back of the head finds the angle for a layup!
The halftime tribute to Goku's farmer journey! The stubborn soil to a reverse layup!
James Harden, this max-contract guy, runs the play exactly as drawn! Execution!
A narrative for the ages: Saitama, the superhero who mastered their bare hands and the ball!
Saitama exits to a standing ovation! The superhero with their bare hands earns it!
Goku rips off his jersey and launches it into the crowd. Victor Wembanyama does the same. The coach rolls his eyes. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
124-79 (W)
Tip-off! Victor Wembanyama gets us started! Let's go!
Saitama with the tough pull-up jumper through contact! This hidden prospect won't be denied!
This established player Victor Wembanyama finds the open man! Assist and a catch-and-shoot triple!
Goku drops a half-court heave! The accuracy of a farmer on full display!
Saitama with the textbook defense! Written by a superhero with their bare hands!
Break. LaMelo Ball asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. They say LaMelo Ball eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
LaMelo Ball dunks the Spalding with purpose! A double-clutch layup! This dude putting the league on notice means business!
Goku dominates wire to wire! Dominant as a farmer over the stubborn soil!
This name that's buzzing LaMelo Ball passes to the opponent! Gift exchange from downtown!
Victor Wembanyama slides across the floor! A victory dance facing the rim! Entertainment!
Saitama caps a perfect night! Clean as a superhero on their best day!
LaMelo Ball takes James Harden by the hand and they bow to the crowd like stage actors. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
120-80 (W)
Victor Wembanyama opens with a finger roll! This respected competitor making an early statement!
Saitama with a buzzer-beater on the break! Running like they're late for work!
Saitama, this solid build, finds the trailer! A euro-step off the assist, easy money!
LaMelo Ball, this well-respected player, threads the needle for a finger roll on the low block!
Goku contests the shot! Reaching like a farmer reaching for the stubborn soil!
The players head in. Goku slips on the wet tunnel floor. Little secret: Goku listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
A reverse layup! James Harden cannot be stopped tonight! This bonafide star is locked in!
James Harden, this colossus, makes it look like practice! Total domination!
Goku offered to fix the arena's the stubborn soil! Above and beyond!
Goku does a victory lap! Lapping the court with farmer swagger!
This legit talent LaMelo Ball led from start to finish! Comprehensive win!
LaMelo Ball climbs onto the scorer's table. Victor Wembanyama joins him. Security is unsure whether to intervene. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
124-78 (W)
Saitama, this combo guard, takes the court! The incredible energy is electric!
Victor Wembanyama drives the Wilson into an and-one! Ridiculous creativity shining through!
Victor Wembanyama reads the defense like a book! Assist back to the basket! Insane court vision!
LaMelo Ball, this respected competitor, drops a finger roll on the low block! Pure artistry!
Victor Wembanyama digs in defensively! Ridiculous creativity when the team needs stops!
Halftime. The physio pounces on James Harden to massage his thighs. Anecdote: James Harden once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
Saitama nails a pull-up jumper with the ease of a superhero who competes the game. Natural!
Victor Wembanyama with a showtime layup! This respected competitor enjoying every second!
Saitama high-fived a teammate with their bare hands still in hand! Ouch!
James Harden lets out a roar! The emotion is real! A raised fist!
This player on the come-up LaMelo Ball is all smiles! The stats back up the brilliance!
LaMelo Ball cries tears of joy in James Harden's arms. Saitama is also crying but nobody knows why. I learned backstage that James Harden also does superhero on weekends. That explains those reflexes. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
120-86 (W)
This legit talent Victor Wembanyama comes out aggressive! Opens with a layup from mid-range!
LaMelo Ball, this tree of a man, with a silky pull-up jumper at the buzzer! Smooth operator!
James Harden quarter-backs the possession! Assist for a sky hook! What a pass!
LaMelo Ball fades away to the rack for a free throw! Can't contain this titan!
Saitama blocks from behind! Came outta nowhere like a superhero on a mission!
The players leave the court. James Harden clings to the tunnel railing. Anecdote: James Harden tried to impress the Phoenix No-Defense players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
LaMelo Ball steps back the pill beautifully for a catch-and-shoot triple! What touch!
Saitama piles it on! Stacking buckets like it's nothing! The superhero is dominant!
LaMelo Ball posts up and the pill goes into the stands! Free souvenir!
Saitama taps the logo on the jersey! A fist pump toward the bench! That's pride right there!
LaMelo Ball, this oversized freak, celebrates the win! A finger to the lips to hush the crowd! What a game!
LaMelo Ball runs the full court high-fiving everyone. James Harden follows doing the wave alone. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce LaMelo Ball's name. Forgive me. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
128-88 (W)
The game begins and Victor Wembanyama is ready! You can see iron discipline written all over his face!
Goku muscles through for a euro-step! The strength of a farmer moving the stubborn soil!
This franchise guy Goku orchestrates the offense driving to the hoop! Maestro!
This elite player James Harden finishes with authority! A finger roll at the buzzer!
LaMelo Ball sprints to close out! A ball recovery at the top of the key! Great effort!
The players disappear. Saitama has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Little secret: Saitama has a secret TikTok account with 12 followers. Posts cooking tutorials. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
LaMelo Ball converts in transition! A hook shot with trademark next-level basketball IQ!
LaMelo Ball, this solid pro, still going full throttle! No mercy tonight!
This headliner James Harden runs the wrong play again! Coach is beside themselves!
LaMelo Ball, this league veteran, with the signature victory dance! The fans love it!
James Harden fires away in triumph! The final buzzer sounds! That's a W!
LaMelo Ball and Goku pound their chests like gorillas. The coach pretends not to know them. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
124-78 (W)
Goku dishes onto the floor! The crowd roars for this reliable star!
Goku with the and-one finger roll! Next-level basketball IQ through the whistle!
LaMelo Ball crosses over and creates! Another assist in the paint! Quarterback!
LaMelo Ball catches fire! And it's a half-court heave! Silky smooth technique taking over!
Goku a flawless defensive rotation and starts the fast break! Defense wins championships!
The players head in. Goku slips on the wet tunnel floor. True story: Goku had his parking spot stolen by Toronto Border-Patrol's mascot. Still talks about it. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
This legit talent LaMelo Ball goes to work under the basket! A free throw drops beautifully!
Victor Wembanyama penetrates without breaking a sweat! This league veteran cruise control!
This reliable star James Harden calls for the pill but trips over the baseline! Comedy gold!
LaMelo Ball points to the sky after a devastating dunk! This solid pro in the zone!
Saitama hugs the coach! This rising star with a complete performance!
Goku hits a dab in 2026. James Harden does an ironic dab. LaMelo Ball has no idea what that is. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
125-86 (W)
Saitama stretches center court! Loosening up, the superhero is getting ready!
Victor Wembanyama, this solid pro, with the exclamation-point bank shot! Game changer!
This solid pro LaMelo Ball with the behind-the-back dish! Highlight-reel pass!
Victor Wembanyama with another layup! You can't stop this man!
James Harden jumps into the passing lane! A double team! Huge play!
Break! Saitama has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Rumor has it Saitama talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
A thunderous slam from James Harden on the low block! That's a certified bucket-getter!
Victor Wembanyama pulls up with confidence! The game is well in hand for this seasoned vet!
LaMelo Ball blows past and pulls up at half court! Time? There's a full quarter left!
James Harden with the emphatic hug with the coach! This guy everybody knows letting everyone know!
Saitama wraps up with a double-double! Double duty: their bare hands and the leather!
Victor Wembanyama takes James Harden by the hand and they bow to the crowd like stage actors. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
114-83 (W)
Saitama sets the tone early! The superhero came to play tonight!
Victor Wembanyama with the crafty free throw! Unreal swagger on display!
This big-name player James Harden connects on the pick-and-roll! Assist for an alley-oop!
Victor Wembanyama, this player on the come-up, operates off the pick and roll with a double-clutch layup! Clinic!
Saitama with the chase-down charge taken! What athleticism!
Halftime. James Harden wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Confession: James Harden believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Victor Wembanyama, this beanpole, uses every inch to deliver a thunderous slam!
LaMelo Ball even the deep bench is scoring! Complete team effort tonight!
This next-level player LaMelo Ball does the robot during the dead ball! A victory dance!
Saitama, this dark horse, cups the ear to the crowd! A victory dance! They want more!
Saitama dominates the box score! Numbers worthy of a superhero's the game chart!
LaMelo Ball grabs the arena mic and screams. Just a scream. James Harden applauds. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
114-108 (W)
Saitama checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Goku, this swiss-army-knife type, takes over from mid-range. A euro-step! That's elite!
Goku, this elite player, pokes the Wilson free! Scramble off the pick and roll!
James Harden attacks and finds the trailer for a layup! Great awareness!
This jersey-selling name James Harden uses the floater over this tower coverage! Smart!
Back to the locker room. Saitama's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Little scoop: Saitama tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Victor Wembanyama lets fly the Spalding with iron discipline. And it drops! Nothing you can do!
The fans sense it coming! The energy is building as James Harden gets hot!
This legit talent LaMelo Ball claps for the rookie! Encouragement from this legit talent!
Victor Wembanyama, this established player, answers every challenge! A killer instinct never fading!
Goku reflects on the game! The thoughtful reflection of a farmer after a big day!
Goku hugs the mascot. Saitama hugs the referee. Awkward. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
118-87 (W)
Victor Wembanyama, this next-level player, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Victor Wembanyama blows past and it's a deep three! This dude putting the league on notice proving the doubters wrong!
Goku finds the open teammate! Vision of a farmer spotting the stubborn soil!
Saitama, this unknown gem, exploits the mismatch for a buzzer beater! Too easy!
LaMelo Ball picks the pocket of the ball handler! Straight robbery!
Off to the locker room. Victor Wembanyama has already drained two water bottles. Anecdote of the day: Victor Wembanyama forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Saitama, this who-is-this-guy player, unleashes a double-clutch layup back to the basket! Bang!
LaMelo Ball crosses over and it's too easy! The lead is ballooning! Mercy rule!
Victor Wembanyama, this colossus, headbands slips over the eyes mid-play! Blind this next-level player!
Victor Wembanyama, this towering presence, takes a bow! A salute to the fans! This respected competitor knows that was special!
This respected competitor Victor Wembanyama thanks the fans! The crowd is on its feet! What a ride!
James Harden and Victor Wembanyama pretend to fish Saitama out of the crowd. They pull hard. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
120-81 (W)
This established star James Harden in the starting lineup! Let's see what this established star brings!
Goku adds to the total! A farmer who always exceeds expectations!
Saitama racks up the helpers! Dishing like it's their superhero... Because it is!
This established star James Harden capitalizes from way beyond the arc! A thunderous slam with silky smooth technique!
James Harden, this reliable star, bodied up and forced the turnover! Physical defense!
Halftime! Victor Wembanyama checks his stats on the board and winces. Fun fact: Victor Wembanyama is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
Goku blows past and delivers a reverse layup! The seed dibber by day, buckets by night!
Saitama, this all-around player, has the opposition calling for mercy from the left corner!
Saitama high-fives nobody! This dark horse left hanging at half court! Brutal!
This dark horse Saitama waves goodbye to the opponent! A fist pump toward the bench! Savage!
Saitama shares the credit! Team player on and off the court!
Goku runs the full court high-fiving everyone. Victor Wembanyama follows doing the wave alone. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
106-86 (W)
Goku locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a farmer who means business!
Victor Wembanyama, this big fella, overpowers for a double-clutch layup! Size matters!
Victor Wembanyama, this well-respected player, walls up along the baseline! Impenetrable defense!
James Harden, this guy everybody knows, sets the table driving to the hoop! Assist master!
Saitama changes the defensive scheme! Strategic mind of a superhero!
That's a cut. LaMelo Ball stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Rumor has it LaMelo Ball does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Goku hits nothing but net! Pure as a farmer's work with the seed dibber!
The arena is electric! This total unknown Saitama thriving in a cathedral silence!
Goku barks out defensive calls! The voice of the seed dibber echoes across the field house!
Victor Wembanyama, this long boy, evolves before our eyes! A career-defining moment!
LaMelo Ball, this hooper's hooper, soaks in the moment! Victory in transition! A finger to the lips to hush the crowd!
Saitama and James Harden play rock-paper-scissors to decide who carries the ball. Saitama loses. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
104-107 (L)
Saitama, this swiss-army-knife type, announced to huge cheers! A packed arena!
Goku nails a finger roll from deep! Range like the seed dibber reaching across the workshop!
James Harden, this walking skyscraper, lets the shooter get free along the baseline! Costly lapse!
Saitama can't connect! Their bare hands in hand, sure. The Spalding through the hoop, nope!
This potential breakout star Saitama hits the big three! The deficit down to single digits!
Break! Victor Wembanyama rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Did you know? Victor Wembanyama has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
This well-respected player Victor Wembanyama gets called for the charge on the inbound pass! Brutal!
This hooper's hooper LaMelo Ball hangs the head after the miss! Deflated off the pick and roll!
Victor Wembanyama, this tower, embodies the spirit of competition! What a show!
Goku dribbles into trouble! Lost out there like a farmer on the wrong floor!
Goku takes the loss hard! Hard as the stubborn soil on a bad farmer day!
Victor Wembanyama is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. LaMelo Ball waits at the tunnel entrance. Evening confession: I'm wearing Victor Wembanyama's jersey under my shirt. For morale. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
109-110 (L)
And we're underway! Victor Wembanyama touches the rock first! This hooper's hooper looks eager!
A buzzer-beater by Goku from way beyond the arc! Unreal swagger in every fiber!
Goku caught flat-footed! Standing still, the farmer reflexes took a nap!
Goku can't buy a shot! Wouldn't happen with the stubborn soil, a farmer always hits!
Saitama steals and scores! This potential breakout star cutting the gap from mid-range!
Back in the locker room, Saitama sits down and stares at the ceiling. Little scoop: Saitama tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
Goku gets called for the foul! Clumsy as a farmer with the stubborn soil at closing time!
LaMelo Ball, this 7-footer, sits down hard on the bench! Tendency to force bad shots written all over his face!
This raw talent Saitama channels the inner champion! An off-the-charts basketball IQ at its peak!
James Harden misses the wide-open look during crunch time! This multi-time All-Star will regret that!
LaMelo Ball, this player making noise, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Saitama stands alone at center court as the lights go dim. James Harden comes back to get him. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
street ballers finishes the season at #1! Champions! 13W-2L. Season MVP: Victor Wembanyama!
Season Journal
Buckle up, pull your visor down, and clench everything you've got because tonight we are NOT talking about some pickup game at the park. Hell no. We're talking about an arena shaking so hard the neighbors called the cops three times before tip-off. We're talking about a franchise built on decades of sweat, tears, heart-stopping buzzer-beaters, and Draft picks so bold that half the league thought they'd lost their minds. And yet, here they are, back and hungrier than ever. Ladies and gentlemen... Street ballers!
Alright, let's not kid ourselves, if the arena is packed to the gills, it's because of THE phenomenon. This guy isn't just a basketball player, he's a walking cheat code on the hardwood: give it up for Victor Wembanyama! Picture this: standing at 224 cm, but he handles the rock with the agility of a 5'10" point guard and launches missiles from 30 feet like he's at shootaround. When he attacks the paint, it's simple, he's a freight train: either you get out of the way, or you end up on his poster doing the rounds on social media for a week straight.
You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance.
And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the cherry on top, the plot twist nobody saw coming: the coach recruited Goku. A farmer. To play professional basketball. I'll repeat for the people in the back: a farmer, with seed dibber, on an NBA hardwood. The guy showed up at his first practice asking where the locker rooms were... And went the wrong way. Twice. But the coach swears on everything holy that Goku has "something." We don't know what exactly, but he has "something." In the meantime, the guy runs around like a headless chicken, confuses stubborn soil with the basketball, and has already racked up three technical fouls for trying to negotiate with the referee.
This team's budget is the GDP of a small country. Seriously, there are nations at the UN moving less cash than this roster. The Second Apron is blown to smithereens, the repeater tax bleeds the owner dry with every signature, and the league watches them with a mix of disgust and fascination. But the owner doesn't care. He has a dream, and that dream is a championship banner hanging from the rafters of this arena. Everything else, the penalties, the sacrificed Draft picks, the zero flexibility, that's just details. Damn details.
street ballers finishes the season at #1! Champions! 13W-2L. Season MVP: Victor Wembanyama!
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